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They rode off at
dawn, after sharing half a loaf of bread that had been shoved in a
saddlebag when Christine wasn't looking. She was once again plunged
intp an uneasy silence, which made the ride even more unbearable. She
started to wonder if she should have come at all - for it seemed that
the man riding with her considered her hardly more than a nuisence!
Hurt welled in her as these unwelcomed thoughts dwelled in her mind,
making her shift uneasily in his grip.
After what was surely a
good many hours of riding, Erik looked up at the sky, as if drifting
out of a deep daydream. "It must be near noon time, judging by the
sun. we'll stop and eat right up here."
Soon he slowed the
horse down and jumped off, then helped her. Grabbing hold of the
reins again, he lead the horse to a wide river in this open valley
that he had chosen. Shedding the reins and saddle, Erik let the horse
drink, than came to sit beside Christine, seemingly taking great care
as to not sit too close. He retrieved the rest of their bread supply
and split in it half, and handed her portion to her. But she was
fuming inside as she watched him eat. His silence, his eyes staring
at the outstretching land before them, not even trying to sneak a
glance at her, only added fuel to the fire that was already burning
deep down. Finally, she couldn't stand her silence anymore.
"What's wrong with me?" She cried out, desperate for him to
notice her. Notice her he did - startled too. He looked at her with
wide eyes, his head slightly cocked to the side.
"Excuse me?"
He asked, almost in a whisper.
"Well surely you must see
something wrong with me! You act as if I'm not here - or you wish I
wasn't. How is that supposed to make me feel? And then the memory
of your words - that you really didn't want me here at all...was
that for more than just my safety, Erik? Did you really not want me
to come? Was that night that you told me you loved me false? Were you
only caught in the moment, because I was the first woman who has ever
admitted to loving you? Do you really not love me in turn? Was it
just infatuation? Having fun solely because of the great competition?
Was I just another thing you could win just to prove that you could
beat whomever you wish? Do I really mean nothing to you? And I really
that unwanted?" The words flooded out of her mouth. She had kept to
her silence too long; too many thoughts had bore into her mind,
twisting her original thoughts, making her doubt the man she thought
she loved so truly.
Erik was obviously taken aback. Even though
he had acted so strange to her, it was clear that he did not
understand why she would say such things. Were his acts
unintentional? Why would they be?
"Christine...please, never
again think that you are unwanted. Never, ever could you be that.
What I said that night...Christine, I do not say things lightly. I
mean what I say. I admit, I haven't been acting the way you must
expect me to. For that, I am sorry. I would never intentionally hurt
you, you must know that. I suppose...I suppose my
more...nonromantical side...tends to get the better of me. Perhaps
you could say...my logical side? But please promise me that you will
never think you are unwanted when you are in my presence again. No
matter how long we are together, that thought of yours will never be
true on my part." He said with such feeling that it brought tears
to Christine's eyes and sent them coursing down her cheeks. He gave
her one more meaningful glance as she wordlessly nodded, then he
walked away to go ready the horse.
But that glance was all she
needed. She understood. He was distancing himself from her. Not
incase he'd have to send her back, but in case she would leave him,
like so many had done to him in the past she knew too little about.
He was afraid of being hurt by her - and that would mean the
destruction of him unless he lessened his need for her. That's why
he never called her 'my dear' anymore. That's why he didn't
meet her eyes; because that plan of his was failing
quickly.
Christine shrugged as she stood up and wiped the crumbs
from her skirt. She'd just have to prove her loyalty to him - she'd
have to assure him that she'd never leave, no matter what would
happen to her. No matter how great the risks. No matter what...he was
with her, and she with him - and that's how it would stay from now
on.
Erik's hands reached down to
help her onto the horse. She wrapped her hands around this upper arms
as he lifted her and got her settled before him in the saddle. She
stared into his eyes as he looked straight ahead, putting the horse
in a gentle trot to warm him up. His eyes were simular to what they
had been before, but now there was a little light shining in them.
She had broken a small piece of armor from his heart; started making
him believe that she was in this for the long run - and that she
wouldn't run away...at least run away from him.
But there was
still that same defense up. It was a long rode she had in front of
her, but she was more than eager to travel it, for she could already
glimpse and see what rewards she would be able to reap once that
trial was over.
Erik's sudden gruff voice startled her. "We'll
be reaching a small town by nightfall. We'll stay at a little
boarding house there. We'll have to stock up on food as well. And
you'll have a warm bed to sleep in."
Christine smiled up at
him, laying her head gently, slowly, lightly on his chest. A warm
feeling flooded her heart. He had answered all her questions with
those few sentences. He cared for her, he was looking out for her. He
was loving her. In his own inexperienced way, he was loving her.
They
were cloaked in a peaceful twilight as they entered the small, sleepy
town. It's cobble streets made the horse's hoofs clop
beautifully. In Christine's sleepy haze, it seemed the perfect
little place. A nice place to live...shame they had to move on.
At
a two story building, with wide double wood doors, Erik stopped his
horse. A young boy that had watched their ascent to the boarding
house now walked towards them. Erik huddled close to Christine,
trying to keep at least half of his face hidden from view.
"Shall
I take your horse to the stables, Monsieur; Madame?" The
sandy-blonde haired boy asked.
"Yes, thank you." Erik said to
him in a hoarse voice. Christine felt something cold in her hand. She
opened it to find two coins. "Give it to the boy." Erik whispered
in her ear.
Christine, with a sweet smile, handed the boy the
coins. A grateful smile spread over his lips as he thanked them
profusely, then took the horse's reins and led him around the
building.
"Christine...get that cane. See it? By the door? That
will help with the act." Erik whispered again. With his arm around
her waist, she walked over to the door and grabbed the cane, which he
held in his hand but did not use. Then they went inside.
It was a
rustic looking room, with roughly two dozen people in it; eating,
dancing, relaxing by the open fire. But the pair instead made their
way to the desk.
"Now, we need two rooms and a meal. You'll
pay with this." Erik said and put a leather pouch in her hand,
filled with coins. "If it isnt enough, I have more."
Christine
tried to hide her surprised look, as well as not think about where he
had obtained that money.
"Two rooms for the night, please."
She said to the lady at the desk, handing over the money. The woman
eagerly counted it, then nodded.
"You both are in great luck.
We have just two rooms left. They aren't very close together, but
you'll see that they'll fit your accommodations quite well, I
believe." and with that, the woman took two keys off little hooks
on the wooden wall, and led them up tp the stairs. Erik's grasp on
Christine was fiercely tight, so much that she could hardly breath.
Did men like Erik get nervous? Christine had to wonder that.
Apparently so, or at least that's what her abdomen was telling her.
