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Chapter 36
John heard her father's words and he pulled himself together, he wiped whatever tears were evident on his face away and he left the chapel. He marched right up to the exam room to see Michael standing inside the room while she was being worked on. She was hooked up to all sorts of machines, there was so many lines and tubes going into her body, he hated seeing her like this. John shook his head knowing this was what had to be done to her, and if she needed all those tubes, all those lines, all those machines, she would have them.
John turned briefly to hear Asa, her grandfather barking orders into his phone, something about having a specialist here right away for her, he smiled weakly and remembered what Alissa said about them being alike, Natalie and her Grandfather, pork-headed, he said to himself and he refocused his attention to Natalie thru the window of the exam room.
Michael noticed John was back from the chapel and he came out of the exam room to speak with him.
"Michael, please tell me what's going on?" John asked him softly
"I'm not gonna candy coat this for you John, she's got... borderline moderate to severe hypothermia, the Doctors... well they aren't sure if she's gonna wake, she... may stay asleep for awhile"
"What does that mean Michael? Does that mean she might be in a coma?"
"Yes, John she could be, we aren't quite sure yet, she hasn't woken yet but it could just be her body restoring herself, or ... she ... could already be in a comatose state, it's just to early to know"
"And the baby" John choked out the words
"She doesn't seem to be affected by all of this, they did an ultrasound and an amino to check for malfunctions, your daughter seems to be fine, they are going to monitor her closely but so far she's fine"
"We're having a little girl?" John asked and a weak smile formed on his lips as Mikey nodded yes.
"Yes, John, I'm sorry I found out by the amino, I...I wasn't thinking, I never should have said anything to you, about your baby's sex. I'm a little messed up about this too."
"I know you are Mikey, it's okay." John said and then he thought about what Michael told him, they were having a little girl. He shook his head, and formed a small weak smile.
"A girl Huh? We've been joking each other... I've been insisting it was a boy and...Natalie... she was insisting that she knew it was a girl, I guess she was right" John said as he stopped himself from getting teary eye's.
"Do you want to tell the Buchanan's about Natalie or should I?"
"You can tell them, I'd like to go in and sit by her or at least be in the room with her, could you maybe arrange it" John asked Michael almost afraid he'd tell him it wasn't possible
"It should be alright, just give them a few minutes to finish up what they are doing in there"
A few minutes went by and then John was allowed to go in an sit with her, he pulled a chair up as close as he could get to her, he sat in the chair, leaned in and touched her face with his hand. John was happy to feel the warmth of her face, it was so cold when he found her, and he held his hand on her face for a few minutes as he just stared at her.
She was so pale; she looked so fragile, John thought as he shook his head knowing. Knowing she wasn't, she wasn't weak, or fragile, not Natalie, she had some kind of inner strength people only dreamed about. it was funny, he thought, her uncle had once told him about how strong a person she was, he had told him once before she and John were even involved. Bo had told him how much she had overcome in her life and still she bounced back, and better than ever, well, this would definitely be one of those times, she would bounce her stubborn self out of what ever state she was in, whether it be a comatose one or just a rebuilding one, she would do it, and she would do it for herself, for their child and for him.
John brought his hand down from her face and placed it on her stomach, he closed his eyes and could see it, them, the three of them for now, but then more, maybe two or even three more, all the girls would have red hair like her, long and curly and the boys would look like him, except they wouldn't be brooding, all their kids would have her personality, he was just to serious, he wanted them to be full of life like she was, he wanted them to bring light and life to everything they did the way she did. He opened his eyes slowly and looked at her.
"I can see it Nat, I can see it all, see it too, and come back to me, so we can have it all." John said as he leaned his head on the bed next to her as he sat in the chair, he closed his eyes to try and see more, see more of their bright future together.
Almost a week had passed and she still hadn't woken up yet, the baby was still doing fine, and John hadn't given up hope; although it was taking a toll on him physically cause he never left the hospital, he still never gave up hope.
Tomorrow would be Christmas and it was real hard for anyone to feel like celebrating the holiday, Vicky was in sitting with Natalie while John got coffee and waited out in the hall.
John had asked the doctors over and over the last week if they knew if this was permanent and they kept giving him the same answer. They just didn't know, they did mention that it was not uncommon for someone like Natalie, someone who had been thru so much in such a short period of time, to put themselves into a coma, to keep themselves in one for they could heal, both mentally and physically, that it was possible she just needed this time to heal, to heal from all that she had overcome of late and all that she had overcome in life.
John looked around the halls and saw all the nurses with Santa hats on and he smiled a little remembering what she said about getting married, why she wanted to so close to Christmas, she wanted a special Christmas, one that they celebrated together. She hadn't ever had one special before. he thought about something and then he made sure with Vicky that she would stay with Nat till he got back.
Two hours later John returned to Natalie's room carrying a burlap bag full of stuff, he could barely open the door to her room when Bo who was out in the hall saw him and helped him open it and carry the stuff in.
"Thanks Bo" John said as he walked into the open door
"What's all this?" Bo asked as he walked into the room with him, They both noticed Vicky had fallen asleep in the chair next to Nat's bed and they quieted their voices not to wake her.
"It's Christmas, you know, and well... she wanted a Christmas together this year, she's got it" John said as he started to pull stuff out of the bag, all sorts of things, a few nicely wrapped presents, some decorations.
As John was putting up some of the Decorations, Vicky had awoken, she looked around the room at all the stuff John was putting around and she smiled, thinking this was a wonderful idea. She too started to help with the stuff, after a few minutes, they all heard a bang on the door. John walked over to it and opened it, in came Michael, and he wasn't alone.
"I don't understand why I had to carry the tree and smuggle it in?" Michael asked John as he brought a five foot tall Christmas tree in.
"Cause you work here Mikey, they wouldn't have let me bring it up" John said and he gave him a small smirk.
"That and my arms were full" John said and he joked for the first time since the day they were suppose to get married.
They all helped decorate her room and the tree, and then Vicky and Bo excused themselves and told them they'd be by tomorrow to see her. Michael was standing in the back of her room watching John closely.
Michael watched as he saw his brother look around the decorated room for a few minutes, he saw John caught up in his own thoughts and then he saw John smile a weak smile. It was weak but it was a smile.
"What?" John said as he saw Michael watching him
"Nothing"
"Just say it Mikey, say it" John told him not believing that it was nothing
"I...I just almost don't recognize you..you're so..so much "
"In love" John said finishing his sentence
"Yeah, that but.. it's like.. you've found something, something you've never had or were missing a ... piece of your..."
"Heart" John said remembering his dad's words
"Yeah, Johnny that's it, your heart, I guess I just never realized it before, or saw it so up close before" Michael said and his pager went off, he told John he had to go he'd see him tomorrow, which was Christmas.
John walked over by Natalie and took his hand and smoothed back her hair, he held his hand on her face for a minute, and leaned down, he gently kissed her lips as he took a seat in the chair next to the bed.
"I thought he'd never leave" John told her with a slight smirk as he again touched her face with his hand
"You know what tonight is don't cha? It's Christmas Eve, yeah, it's our first Christmas together, and... well I was going to hold on to your presents and make you open them tomorrow but... well.. since your family says they are coming back tomorrow, I'm kind of afraid we won't have any alone time, so, I think I'll give them to you now" John said as he got up and grabbed the few wrapped presents that he had left on the window ledge earlier.
