Invaderoperaghost: Forgive me for the grammical errors! This was the first phic I ever wrote a few months back. I dont even have a copy it on my harddrive - I'm getting it from a forum that I posted it on, and just download it in to wordpad and on to here. When I get a moment, I'd like to go back and edit out all the mistakes, but I am too busy with my newer phics to be able to do such at the moment, so I apologize!

Erimysweet: Hey EMS! LOL. Sorry I didn't get to keep up with your phic yet - I'm 2 chapters behind, but I'm heading over to catch up today!

Freakstar: As always, i love to hear from you!

The day passed and went; night fell once again. When Erik set her on her feet once again, she nearly fell over. Her legs were aching terribly, as was her back and neck. How much more could her body take?
Seeing she was ready to collapse, Erik took her arm and guided her to some trees, where she slid down to a sitting position and leaned against one.
As Erik cared for the horse, Christine watched him. She wondered if her body would ever work normally again after this; yet he walked as if the ride had been a mere stroll through the park. He tried to keep face that nothing was wrong, yet she could see right through it. Something was really bothering him, more then before. And then there was that way he kept looking back at her, as if to see if she was really there, acting surprised that she hadn't run off yet.
She understood why, but it still hurt. She hadn't given him any reason to trust her before this journey begun, nor had anyone else in this life. Why should he put all this trust in her? She knew, but logic never could heal a wounded heart.
"Why do you refuse to trust in me?" Christine cried out to him.
Erik whirled around from what he was doing to look baffled at her.
"Excuse me?" he asked her.
She looked angrily at him. Must he always reply to her like that? Could he never just understand right away?
"Why? I admit, I am impulsive. I do things without thinking sometimes. But always, when I agree to do something, do I mean it with all my heart. Erik, ten thousand wild horses could drag me by my arms this second all the way back to Paris; a hundred guards and officers lock me behind the strongest steel bars in existence, and yet I'd still find a way to get back to you. Do you not know that yet?"
"Perhaps, but I would think, Christine, that it's more likely it would be me behind those strong steel bars; not you." He responded.
"But there's a whole world out here - land that goes on forever! We can run, we can go far, where they'll never find us!" Christine said, desperate to put hope back into him.
"You'd be surprised how small this world seems when you've been out in it for a while." He said, in a tone that meant to say their conversation was over. But then, as he was walking away from her, he muttered harshly, "Gypsies."
"What?"
"You asked what I did,how Madame Giry found me. I was traveling behind bars, in a cage not fit for any beast. Yet I lived there for years. Horror stories like you've never even imagined could I tell you from just my experiences over three years." he got quieter then, as if he talked only to himself. "A cage; my eternal cage. Still forced to hide from shame and humiliation. Still forced to use my gifted talents as amusement for idiot minds. Still forced to live a life full of haunted tomorrows." He sat back down by the stream, staring into it as if all the cures to his life miseries were tangled in the rushing waters.
Christine sat down beside him, looking at him with mix emotions. Wordlessly, she tried to figure out how she'd ever be able to help cure his tortured soul.

Christine drifted in and out of restless sleep. Each time her eyes opened, she saw Erik pacing by the fire. Did he never sleep? She'd listen to his never ending murmurings for a few moments until they lulled her into yet another fitful sleep.
Upon awakening once she did find something she thought quite unusual. Cushioning her head from the rough grass, was a black soft material. Erik's beloved cape was nestled below her.
A warm feeling flowed into her, despite the chilly night. What puzzled her though, was why would he be so kind and caring when could not know, but during the day he took on a more formal front; put up a wall to rid of any emotions he might show her. Why? It was yet just another question to pile upon the other unanswered ones.

"If we must stay away from towns, where are we going?" Christine asked as they rode in the late afternoon sun the next day.
"We ride through the forest until we reach our destination."
"I suppose you will still refuse to tell me where that destination is?"
She was right, of course, for his lips remained closed, his eyes focused on what was before them. No answer, no mutterings now. Just silence that she was trying to get used t o and kept failing at.

Another night. Christine fell quickly asleep, exhausted from the long day. Sleep stopped the aching in her body, let her be in peace for a short while.
But sleep did not guide her all the way through the night. Rather, it deserted her only part way through.
Stars shown brightly above her as she laid in the grass, the black cape neatly folded under her head. She looked over and saw Erik, once again, pacing by the fire. But this time, he was not muttering. Instead, he was speaking aloud without realizing it.
"Shamed into solitude; shunned by the multitude. I learned to listen. In my dark, my heart heard music. I yearned to teach the world; rise up and reach the world - no one would listen. I alone, could hear the music. Then at last, a voice from the gloom, seemed to cry, I hear you! I hear your fears...your torment and your tears. She saw my loneliness, shared in my emptiness. No one would listen...no one but her...heard as the outcast hears." With that, Erik paused, seemingly in deep thought. His voice was gruff with overwhelming emotion.
"No one would listen...no one but her...heard as the outcast hears..."He repeated, this time so soft, he seemed not to say the words, but to breath them.
Christine laid, stunned at what she had overheard. All this time she had been doubting if he truly, deeply cared. Realization hit her. She had known all along what he felt - she could always tell. She always did tell herself that he really did love her. But to hear it from his own lips at a time like this?
Tears streamed heavily down her face as she stared at him, her head a few inches off of her make-shift pillow. The words that he had said, and truly meant, whirled in her head. He was right about her there. And he knew about it. He knew she had seen his loneliness, and shared in that herself. She saw his empiness, and inside, mirrored that too. She mirrored all his emotions, as he did with her. They were one, like he had always said...
" I am the mask you wear"
"It's me they hear."
"You're spirit and my voice, in one combined..."
She realized, more at that moment than any other before, that she truly did belong with him, beside him, never to desert him. They went together, her and him. People called him a monster, a sight not to behold in any light or darkness. They said she was a shining diva, born for the stage. So different in other's eyes, yet so alike when turned inside out. Their hearts seemed to be mixed into one, as to feel the same as the other.
Suddenly, she came back into the present and noticed that Erik wasn't moving. Rather, he was staring right at her. Christine's cheeks, neck, and his cape were now soaked with tears that she had been unaware of. Had she cried so much?
She didn't care. Standing up on wobbly legs, she walked slowly to him. She took his large, gloved hands into hers as she stared into his deep green eyes. With the sky, dazzled with thousands of diamond stars behind him, he did remind her of an angel...her angel. A wonderfully warm feeling filled her as he stared back into her eyes. He seemed vulnerable, his heart right on the surface. He was completely exposed after what he had said, and what she had overheard. But yet, he did not turn away.
"How strange...how much we have in common." Christine whispered, as if scared she'd break this amazing spell they seemed to be drawn under if she would talk too loudly, or not soft enough.
He just stared at her, his chest rising and falling more slowly, as if he was trying to fill empty lungs.
"Erik, please, for me, stop looking on the pessimistic side. Stop waiting for something horrible to happen. Let down that guard. Take down the wall between us." She whispered so lightly she wondered how he could have heard her at all. Where had her voice gone?
"Christine...you know what will happen sooner or later. You know they'll catch up to us one day. We can not hide forever. And our horse...I fear I drive him to his death."
"What you say may very well be true. But Erik, must we live in sorrow now? Can we not deal with that when it comes? Let us dwell in the good for now! When we run, let us not be running away, but chasing wild dreams. When we sleep on harsh grass, let us dream of one day being able to own a home together. Let us enjoy this time together now. While we can..."
"But Christine..."
"Yes, when...if something bad happens, we'll know what we are missing. But wont memories be better then never knowing? Than always having to wonder what it might have been like if we...if we acted how we felt, instead of always having to have our defenses up?"
Tears came wildly down her cheeks now as Erik looked at her with a tortured and confused look.
"Please Erik...stop treating me like unwanted baggage."
"If I didn't stop...would you go back? Back to the Opera?" He said instead.
Christine was momentarily surprised, but answered anyway. "Is that what all of this is about? You want me to go back? You're testing me to see if I will leave you like everyone else always has?"
Erik shut his eyes, breathing deeply. When he opened his eyes again, they were full of tears. "I fear for you. This is not the life you were meant to have."
"I don't care!" she screamed suddenly, making him look quite taken aback. "Why must everyone try to tell me what I should be, and what I should be doing? Can I not decide for myself?"
So he had been right...she had so much weighing upon her shoulders from so many telling her what she must do. Wasn't this just what he didn't want to do to her?
"I only want the best for you, Christine, but I wont stop you from doing what you think you must."
"But will you accept it?"
He stared back into her burning eyes, full of questions. "If that's what you want of me."
"It is."
"Then I can not deny you of your request...there is little I could deny you, Christine."
She quickly looked away. Why must he remind her of that? She hated to think of him as a lowly dog, begging for love, for someone to care for him. He had told her before that he only ever wanted her love, and in return, he'd give her anything she could ever want. Anything he was capable of. But must he say it like that? To make her feel like she's gracing him with her presence, and that he didn't truly deserve it. He deserved so much more than she could give him.
She looked slowly back at him, her head bowed and slightly cocked to the side. It was his eyes now that seemed to reign fire upon her, awaiting next what she would say, what she would do. Testing her...challenging her...to what? To do something wrong? To say ' I told you so'? What did he expect her to do?
"Why must things be so confusing?" she whispered in desperation.
"That's what love is, my dear. It's made up of more emotions than you ever knew you possessed. And then they all turn into one..."
Confusion. But she didn't want confusion! She wanted what every other happy couple had. Why didn't she?
"I was wrong." Erik said slowly after a long pause.
Her brows knitted again in confusion, she stared at him, urging him to continue.
"I can not give you all you want. I have denied you so much. Christine, I can not give you your eternal happiness. I cant give you faithfulness...not when we live like this. I cant give you stability. These things you thrive on. I can not give them to you."
She shook her head. "I don't thrive on those things...always, ever since I can remember, I've only needed one thing to make me thrive. All I've ever needed was you."
Had that sounded too much like one of her fairytales? Had she overdone it when she had only spoken the truth? It had leapt from her lips before she could even think, but she knew where it came from...and apparently, he did too.
Before she could even realize what was happening, she found herself in his arms, wrapped in a kiss like she had never known before. It was the kiss of a tormented love that refused to die.