A/N: New story, just like I promised. I had to get rid of my YYH one because there was zero inspiration and it was unfair to write something that wasn't my best. So I guess I'm just going to stick to what I can do and continue writing RuroKen fics! Yay! This one focuses when Kenji is in his teenage years so please disregard the Seisouhen. I am not following that timeline and I just wanted to forewarn everyone to avoid confusion. Thanks! Hope you like it!


The Tears of a Warrior


Kaoru cupped her face in her hands for about the ninth time that night, silently sobbing as she clutched onto the same familiar futon that had belonged to her husband. Her absent husband. She didn't want her tears to resurface because she knew him better than anyone else and she knew that he would always come back for her. And yet she always felt a certain sickness emerge in the pit of her stomach. It was something that made her want to cry hysterically. "Please come back, Kenshin…" she murmured as she caressed their quilt against her face. The scent of the man whom she promised to spend the rest of her life with suddenly triggered her memory. She was instantaneously reminded of the times she used to share with him. Those were the most blissful times of her life. Kaoru knelt down again. Her forehead pressed against the cold floor and she began to tremble violently. She was simply a wife who missed her husband.

"Mother…you should not have to go through such pain," Kenji whispered, peeking inside the dimly lit room. His eyes softened as he watched her hunch over the quilt she had in her hand. "If father ever cared about you like he claimed… I am sure that he would be here now for you to hold rather than that sheet." The teen rolled his flashing, bright blue eyes and left his mother to cry alone. He had tried to console her many times but they were all for naught. His words could never reach her and even though he wanted to help, it was a matter that was out of his hands.

Kenji sat himself down in the training hall of their quiet and dismal doujo. His keen sense of hearing picked up the sound of cicadas. Sometimes he would try his hardest to drown out the sounds of his mother's weeping by listening to the intricate sounds that the insects would produce. Sighing heavily, Kenji crossed his legs and stared the wall where Kaoru's wooden swords used to hang. The wall was now bare, faint outlines and rusty nails remained. "I would give anything…" he muttered under his breath as he slowly closed his eyes, "to see you happy again, mother. I know of your past with father, how you met. And how you used to practice swordsmanship religiously…"

The sobbing slowly increased in volume. Kenji winced guiltily. "I should make her some tea while I'm awake," he thought as he rose from his comfortable position and treaded into the kitchen. He recalled that the last time he saw his father, Kaoru was overly ecstatic. It was almost as if her expression could not be put into mere words alone. Nonetheless, Kenji could not see the joy Kaoru found in Kenshin at all. He only saw lies, deceit, and betrayal. He was supposed to be there. As a father, Kenji was supposed to look up to him and see him as a role model. But now, he was lucky if he ever saw him at all.

Stirring quietly with a thin wooden rod, Kenji inhaled the ginseng scent emerging from the hot cup of tea. Fixing her a warm drink was the very least he could do, as he usually spent most of his time away from home, training to get better at swordsmanship. The doujo was merely a depressing thought in the back of his mind that hung over him constantly. If it weren't for his mother, he would disown his birthplace completely. But for her, he would stay.

"Mother?" Kenji inquired, knocking on her shoji that was left ajar so that he was able to peer inside. Kaoru turned her head and released the quilt that she latched onto so dearly prior to Kenji's interruption. "Enough tears," he coaxed gently as he pushed the shoji open with his right foot while balancing the cup of tea on a small tray. "I brought you something that will make you feel better…"

"Oh Kenji…" Kaoru whispered, wiping her eyes as she looked up at her son. It had been fifteen years since she had given birth and she had hoped that her son would bring Kenshin home more often than not. Kenji hadn't. "You didn't have to. And it's very late," she chided gently. Kenji smiled brightly at her in hopes of cheering her up. "Why don't you go to sleep now?"

"Because I'm too worried about you crying. Night after night, that's all I hear." Kaoru lowered her head as if she were being yelled at. "Mother, I hate to see you like this… in such a condition. And it's all because of that man that I am forced to call my father. I can't stand to see you like this and to know that he is to blame… it just angers me even more."

"Please don't say that… He's gone to help people and try to take some of their suffering away. Please, Kenji. Your father is the most selfless man I have ever met." Kenji merely shrugged. "He said to me that he would be back within the week… and when he does return, I hope that you can find it in your heart to talk with him rationally. I ask this of you because you are my son and he is my husband. And all of us are a family. The last thing that I would want for us would be chaos. I don't want to put that kind of pressure on anyone."

"And what if he doesn't come back? What then?" Kenji inquired, tempted to raise his voice. "You're just going to allow yourself to rot here? Sitting? Waiting for the man who turned your back on you?"

"He didn't!" Kaoru said firmly before allowing her eyes to trail down to the sheet that she was clutching prior to Kenji's arrival. "He didn't… I know that he means what he says. I don't know how I can convince you…since you haven't seen enough of him to know. But…when I was younger and fell in love with him, I was certain that he was a righteous man. With a righteous heart," Kaoru trailed off. Kenji scoffed and looked away, a disdainful expression on his face. "I would give anything to have him here. Kenji, if only you knew--"

"But I don't, now do I, mother?" Kaoru remained silent. "In my eyes, he is nothing. He has proven nothing. And it will remain that way." Kaoru pleadingly shook her head in hopes of convincing her son otherwise but she knew that he was obstinate when he wanted to be. She prayed that Kenshin would return so that Kenji could somehow see the light and realize that he was not as cruel as he was made out to be. "You are wasting your life away as if it were nothing at all! You don't care that you just sit here moping night after endless night, crying and hunching over your bed that you seldom share together!"

Kaoru had always felt the longing to be near her husband again, to hold him again. And she knew that Kenji was right about the fact that she had hardly been with her husband in the way that she wanted to. "I wish that wasn't the case…"

"But it is! Instead of having him embrace you and comfort you when you feel ill, you have to resort to clinging onto this old sheet! This stupid old memory of him!" Kenji cried, gesturing toward the unruly article that lay out on the floor. "A married couple isn't supposed to spend months of time apart! They are supposed to love each other unconditionally, wake up in each other's arms and realize how lucky they are to have each other! They're supposed to grow old together and face hardships together! You don't realize how much I wanted that for you and father… I wanted you to live the life you always dreamed of instead of enduring pain and tears!"

Kaoru's eyes widened. "Kenji…though we may not experience that habitually, I can say that my relationship with your father is stronger than anything. I love him unconditionally, I know that much."

"Yeah I know. But sometimes I can't help but feel as if those feelings go about unrequited. If he were any kind of man, he would not leave you." Kaoru opened her mouth to speak but Kenji made sure to continue quickly. "And I don't care what you're going to say! For fifteen years of my life he was hardly there. How do you think that made me feel? Growing up without a father…" Kaoru had remained silent as Kenji spoke. "I can't stand it that you take so much pride in your marriage with that...man I call my father."

"Stop it! I won't have you speak in that way about him! He is not a bad man. Not at all!"

"I wish I could believe you."

"So why don't you? Trust my intentions and trust that I would not commit my everything to someone who treats me horribly. Kenshin, your father… is an amazing man. Ask anyone. Ask anyone who knew of him. Though he was a Hitokiri in his younger days, he repented for all of his sins and he continues to do that today. That's why… that is why he is not around as much as we would like him to be…"

Kaoru closed her eyes, her mind suddenly flooded with images of Kenshin. Her Kenshin. Kenji looked down at her and his eyes softened. "It's late… you should be resting, not crying. Now please go to sleep." He collected the untouched ginseng tea as well as the tray. "Why haven't you taken this?"

"I'm sorry, Kenji…I'm just not in the mood for tea right now."

"It's all right. But please get your rest. I don't want to hear anymore of your crying. For your own sake get those thoughts out of your head and rest peacefully." He smiled jovially at his mother and nodded slightly. Pivoting on his heels, he quietly walked out of the room, whispering a muted "Good night" as he did so. He made sure not to look back at his mother as he walked down the hallway and into the kitchen. He was aware of the fact that she loved him dearly and poured her whole being into him. But for a moment, he heard no crying and let his shoulders drop. Kaoru had stopped thinking about things that led to pain and heartache. For the night, at least.

Kenji yawned as he placed the tray on top of a small stack that sat in a lone corner. "Since she won't drink it, I may as well…" He gulped down the ginseng tea as if it were as bitter as alcohol and placed the cup down on the counter with a small 'tap.' Suddenly feeling drowsy, he thought that it would be in his best interest to go to sleep as well. After talking with Kaoru and trying to calm her down, the fatigue slowly began coursing through his veins. "I'll…just get some rest then…and clean this cup out in the morning…"

Turning around quickly to walk out of the kitchen, he suddenly heard a large crash amidst the peaceful silence. Kenji's shoulders instantaneously darted upward and he cringed, almost afraid to look at what he had done. The teen's eyes trailed down to the floor and noticed that the cup that he just drank out of was completely shattered, it's pieces scattered about the floor. "Kuso…" he hissed as he scrambled to pick up the pieces before Kaoru noticed.

There were about twenty shattered fragments in his hands when he was about to stand up and put them in a small basket right beside him. But there was something that he noticed first. Something that was out of place and something that looked old and dusty. It sat underneath a small jar. Kenji blinked. Its allure interested him and he felt tempted to take it out and examine it further, whatever it was. "What is th--"

"Kenji? What happened out there?" Kaoru cried out.

Kenji's eyes bugged out, completely startled by the fact that Kaoru was coming to check up on him. In an attempt to stand up in a fluid motion, an unpleasant thud followed. "Itai!" he yelped as he hit his head on the table in which he stood under. He felt his entire skull begin to throb as he stood upright, pressing an index finger on the newly formed bump to check for the slightest amount of blood. Much to his relief, there wasn't a trace.

"And what happened here, young man? That crash nearly scared me half to death!" Kaoru chided, waving a finger at her guilt-ridden son.

"I uh…turned around and… um, my sword hit your cup of tea… b-but I drank it all before it fell so there wasn't a spill or anything…" Kenji babbled incoherently.

"That sword of yours… you wear it strapped to your belt just like Kenshin does," she muttered to herself as she surveyed Kenji. "You look just like him… Except for your eye color."

"Yes, mother…purple eyes. Father has purple eyes and I have blue." He looked disdainfully at nothing in particular and placed a hand on his hip. "Now that you know what I did, can you please get some rest while I clean this up?" Kaoru reluctantly nodded. "Mother, I just want you to be well. Can you do that for me?" She smiled at him and nodded. "Thank you, mother. I love you, good night." Kaoru came and kissed Kenji lightly on the cheek before proceeding to her room once again. The redhead sighed contently and picked up the rest of the remains, tossing them in the basket nearest him.

Once he had heard Kaoru's shoji click shut, Kenji knelt down on the floor to survey what he had been interested in prior to Kaoru's arrival. "Now, what exactly is this?" He muttered to himself as he wiped away some of the dirt on the shelf. As he touched the shelf, his hands came into contact with what had piqued his interest. A book. It was a slender book with a brown spine, resembling that of a journal. "What…is a book doing here of all places?" Kenji gripped the worn spine and tugged it out, careful not to allow the jar to crash to the floor just as the cup had done earlier.

Kenji ran a hand across the face of the book, his hand covered in the age-old dust that had collected over the years. There were words on the cover...small but readable words that Kenji had to squint in order to read. "'Tears…of…a…Warrior…'" He sounded out. "What a depressing title," Kenji mused, his blue eyes leafing through the pages listlessly. "Whatever this is, it looks like a diary…a journal, or something, I don't know." Tucking it under his arm and standing back up, he thought to himself, "I'll read it tomorrow when I have more time. Sounds a little too interesting just to be tucked away as if it were nothing…" Kenji shrugged as he, too, walked to his own room to drift off to sleep, the thought of the book in the back of his mind.


A/N: And that concludes chapter one of my story. There will be Kenshin and Kaoru moments in this, hence the romance genre. I firstly just wanted to emphasize how Kenji plays a role in this fiction. Huzzah! Please review, hopefully this new story will keep you interested...? Ja!

Son Christine