Chapter 18 - Kent
Clark would have spent all day, every day at the hospital if he could have.
For the time that Lex slept, Clark barely did. He lay awake, tossing and turning and worrying.
He wanted to believe that he was just worried for his brothers well-being, but the truth was, he was afraid. Lex's threats haunted him every morning when he woke up, every night when he tried to fall asleep, and for most of the time in between. When Lex woke up, Clark wanted to be the one to see him first, to reassure him that he hadn't broken his promise, to make sure he didn't hurt anyone else. Lex had been changed into a hospital gown, which meant didn't have his kryptonite on him right now; Clark would have the strength and readiness to stop him in whatever plan he hatched when he woke. So he didn't want to leave his side.
But the doctor told him that there wasn't really any danger of Lex waking up while he was out, anyway. They had called in quite a few specialists to operate, since Lex had made arrangements years ago to ensure he would be cared for in the event of an emergency, but the doctor also told the Kent family that, at this moment, if the machines were unplugged, Lex would die.
Between meals and schoolwork and unending chores at the farm, Clark spent as many minutes and hours as he could sitting by Lex's bed, watching him sleep. Lex really didn't react to anything, but Clark couldn't help talking to him sometimes. And other times, he couldn't find the words to say at all.
Clark came in one day after school to find his mother sitting beside the bed, reading softly to Lex, although her voice broke at least once a sentence. Clark tried to imagine what Lex would say if he could see her now.
He could easily envision what the real Lex would have said. He would have been flustered and embarrassed by his mother's attention, and he would have said that they didn't have to go to all that trouble for him, that he would've been fine, that he couldn't hear them anyway, that they had work to do around the farm. And then Mom would tell him, in her own way, that he was being completely ridiculous, that he was their family and they loved him and worried about him. And then Lex's eyes would go a little glassy, and he would accept her hug, and his eyes would fall closed, and Clark would think about how lucky they were to have him in their family, and how lucky he was to have them.
He wasn't really sure what the darkness would say. He suspected it would be mocking about the whole thing, saying that they had wasted their time, and that he didn't care. Well, he wouldn't say that to Clark's mom, because he was still trying to keep up the ruse. If he ever did say that to her, Clark would end up catching her crying while watching the dishes for a week or more. Probably a lot more, since it would tell her that her son was really lost.
Clark stepped over to his mother and placed a tentative hand on her shoulder. "Hey mom," he said, "how long have you been here?"
She lowered the book a little before saying, and a shaky voice, "Um, not… Not long…"
"Why don't you go get yourself something to eat? I'll watch him."
She handed him the book. "If you want to read to him," she said. She bent down to kiss Lex on the cheek, then reached up to do the same for Clark, before she left the room.
Clark took the seat his mother had just vacated, his eyes fixed Lex. "She loves you so much, you know."
Lex didn't stir, of course. He never did.
"The one thing I keep asking myself is, was it our fault? Did we do something wrong? Did we not do enough?" Clark leaned forward in his chair. "Or did you never want to fight in the first place?"
The heart rate monitor didn't even change. It was the same slow steady beeping as always.
"I don't want to give up on you," Clark said. "But if you threaten my family… You won't leave me a choice."
Clarks eyes drifted from Lex's face over to the machinery that was keeping him alive. It was such a delicate lifeline. A few tubes and wires, so thin and exposed, so easily broken…
No. He couldn't do that. His parents would be devastated.
. . . But wouldn't they be devastated if they knew the truth as well?
He couldn't let either of those things happen. Clark would find a way to fix it. He would somehow get through to the real Lex, fight the darkness…
But even Lex hadn't been able to fight it. He'd lost the fight. Or maybe he had given up. It would be so easy, and it would protect his family from so much, and no one would ever see him do it. It would be so believable that Lex just died in his sleep. He had been shot, after all.
Clark shook his head. His resolve hardened. He would never, ever hurt his brother.
But still . . . if his brother woke up and hurt his parents, how could Clark live with himself?
Clark desperately needed advice. His parents were usually the people he went to for advice, and he couldn't tell them the truth, not when their lives are at stake. Usually when his parents couldn't give him advice, he had gone to Lex.
He had to go about this another way. He had watched a lot of people over the past couple of years go from good to evil, because of kryptonite infection of one type or another. As far as he could tell, that had never been their choice; it had just been something that happened to them.
Was it possible to do the opposite? To make someone good with meteor rock? Lex had been doing research on kryptonite before he had been shot, for years, both when he was good and evil. Maybe there was some thing in his research.
Clark wasn't sure if he would be able to make heads or tails of it, though. He was smart enough in school, but this really wasn't his area.
But he knew one person who might be able to help . . .
Lex and his family arrived back at the farm house just before midnight. No one at the party had seemed to want to go home. Lex felt exhausted by the time they left the Talon, which shouldn't have even been possible, considering that he was actually already asleep, in the real world. What did it even mean to sleep while he was in a coma?
Lex headed toward the stairs to get ready for bed, but Clark stuck around in the kitchen. "Dad. You promised."
"How old are you, Clark?" his dad said, and Lex glanced back from the foot of the stairs.
"Hey, if you're waiting for me to outgrow wanting to open presents early, you're going to be waiting a long time. Tell him, Lex."
Lex resigned himself to staying up a little later. Now that he was alone with his family, he didn't feel so tired. He walked back into the living room, where Clark stood beside the tree. "No way, I'm not getting in the middle of this one."
Clark turned back to his dad. "Come on, it's almost midnight anyway."
Their parents exchanged a glance. Then their mom sighed. "I don't want to wait any more than they do. Jonathan, go grab it."
"Yes!" Clark grinned. Lex had missed that grin so much. He'd seen Clark smile, but too often it was because of something he'd been deceived about.
Dad came back with a box wrapped in silver paper. Clark held out his hands, but their dad handed the box to Lex. "This is for the whole family, but you should be the one to open it."
"Me?"
"Oh, I know what it is." Clark plunked down on the floor beside the tree while his parents sat on the couch.
"Hey, no X-ray vision," his dad said.
"It's kind of obvious." He grinned. "Come on, open it! I want to see."
The box weighed almost nothing. There was no wrapping paper to tear through to open the lid, but the lid was wedged on pretty tight. He worked it off under Clark's watchful eyes and clearly bated breath.
The box was mostly full of tissue paper, with one folded piece of white paper inside. He took out the white paper and unfolded it.
State of Kansas, Marriage and Family Court
December 23, 2005
To Jonathan and Martha Kent,
This letter is to notify you that your adoption application on behalf of Alexander Joseph Luthor has been approved. You are hereby summoned to appear in court on the date below.
Lex couldn't read any further. He lowered the paper and hung his head.
Hot tears streamed down his face.
They were adopting him. Legally adopting him.
The next thing he knew, both of his parents had stood from the couch and were holding him from either side as his tears continued to flow. It had been a long time since Lex had felt the strength of his father's arms without feeling his darkness trying to pull away.
"I don't deserve this," he said softly, even as he allowed himself to rest in their embrace.
"Hey, none of that," his father said firmly.
"We love you so much, sweetheart," his mom whispered.
Lex opened his eyes to see Clark standing in front of him. Lex held out the paper, and Clark's eyes skimmed it, then they lit up. "Welcome to the family, brother," he said.
Lex's shoulders shook as a couple of sobs escaped him, and his parents' grip tightened.
This was the life he could never have. He had already lost that battle; this dream was nothing but torment, holding what he needed and wanted most right at the surface of his skin but not allowing him to keep it. Like Lionel had done.
He let himself savor it anyway.
He allowed a few moments to pass, and then he straightened up, and his parents let go. As soon as they did, Clark stepped in to take their place, but he held on only a few seconds before letting go as well. When he did, his eyes shone.
"Alexander Kent." Clark beamed again.
"It has a ring to it," Lex said.
"Three years ago, did you ever think . . . it's like it was meant to be."
"Destiny?" Lex asked in a teasing voice, but the effect was lost when his voice cracked.
Clark turned to their dad. "I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep after this."
Their dad let out a heavy sigh, but Lex couldn't detect any anger or even annoyance, not really. "All right, well, let's all get ready for bed anyway. Get some pajamas on, start settling down—"
"And I'll get the ice cream out of the freezer. This calls for a celebration."
Their dad gave their mom a look. "Martha . . ."
"What? Clark is right. Besides," she said, looking up at the clock, "it's Christmas."
Their dad rubbed the back of his neck and turned back to Clark and Lex. "OK. Just this once."
Clark cheered, and Lex smiled. They both took off for their rooms to get changed into night clothes, and Lex paused a moment before changing, drinking it all in. Apparently, this was the person he was in this reality: someone who attended community events meant to strengthen bonds between neighbors. And somehow he was welcome at events like this.
What was more, his familial connection with the Kent was well known among their friends. He was accepted and loved.
He could never have this life. Not if he couldn't fight the darkness, and he knew he didn't have the strength to fight it. But God help him, if it meant a life like this, he was going to try with all of the strength he had. And for this blessed moment, even if it wasn't real, he was going to enjoy it. He could almost let himself forget that none of it was real or ever could be.
Lex walked out into the hall to find Clark coming out of his room.
"Hey," Clark said, though his eyes looked a little confused. "Weren't you going to change?"
"Oh. Yeah." Lex swallowed. "Hey, I've been meaning to ask you something. Wondering if you can refresh my memory."
"Sure, what's up?"
Lex breathed in to speak, but there was a loud clatter downstairs—a thud, along with the crash of breaking dishes, then Mom's voice cried out, "Jonathan? . . . Jonathan!"
Clark gasped, and they both raced down the stairs.
