This is shorter than I initially planned but it's 7,021 words which is longer than the average 3,000 or so words other fics have. I really did want to have the next chapter be Ned's return, but I didn't want to rush the flow too much.
And there is a lot to get through before Ned's physical return to the family.
This might feel a little chaotic but that was my intent.
I want to be able to update this story every two weeks, but I can't make any promises because I'm now back at uni. It's my third year and the workload is killing me already.
Anyway.
[Not Edited. All mistakes are mine]
Enjoyx.
Chapter 14: The Rise and Fall of Trust.
It takes two days for all the visiting guests to leave.
When the last of the wheel houses finally disappear; as well as the protective guard of men, Anya can't help but slump with relief. However, there is a smile of what one can only describe as giddy excitement on her lips. Finally, Winterfell belongs to the Starks alone again. With no more guests to tend to, she does not need to worry or maintain her mask. Anya turns, her skirts gathered in both hands, and in a move that many would expect of Lyanna and not her; she runs.
There are not enough words to describe just how childishly filled with glee the youngest Stark daughter felt in the moment. The help who were blessed enough to catch a glimpse of the young girl, froze completely in awe and mirth. Anya skipped, giggled, laughed and danced as she hurried her way back to the feeding hall. The braids in her hair loosen, and stray tendrils flow with the wind. There was mud on the bottom of her skirts from her running, but Anya couldn't bring herself to care.
She had done it.
Proven to everyone just how much of a lady Lyanna could be.
She'd gained her sister a protective guard- an alliance to help if ever they were separated during gathered meets.
She had strengthened the ties between House Stark and five other noble Northern Houses.
She was proud of herself.
Because she had done it.
"GOOD GRACIOUS- You should watch yourself Lady Lya-"
Anya turned with red flushed cheeks and eyes that sparkled with joy as she hastily apologized. Arrei froze as her breath caught and she realized she was mistaken. It was not Lyanna Stark who had near tumbled into her, but the little Lady Anya. Arrei had never seen the youngest Stark girl look so….. Carefree. Now more than ever Anya looked exactly her age.
Just a simple child of nine years.
"So sorry Arrei, I should have watched were I was going. Did I delay you? Were you needed somewhere?" Anya blurted
There was warm excitement woven into her words, and it took a few seconds for Arrei to collect herself. She couldn't recall a time she'd seen the little lady so lively. In fact… she couldn't recall ever seeing the child so free acting without her mask.
"N-no my lady. I was simply on my way to tend to your brother Benjen and see him ready for his next lesson." Arrei dazedly explained.
At the drop of Benjen's name, Anya's eyes shone brighter than Arrei thought it could possibly manage. Anya spoke with an energy that was infectious as she insisted she accompany Arrei to tend to whatever Benjen may need. The walk was filled with a quiet but buzzing air of excitement, occasionally broken by Anya's talk of her latest studies.
Arrei was spell bound by the active and passionate way the little lady spoke, that she was just as spooked when the cry of the little lady's name was given.
"…BUT if the scroll were to be believed with its account then that would mean that-"
"ANYA!"
Benjen's cry echoed off the stone walls and the pounding of his running boots could not be ignored. Anya let out a laugh as Benjen all but tackled her in a squeezing hug so tight she struggled to breathe. Benjen had not been sure about what would follow after the Lady's Gathering. Though he hoped, there had been doubt in the little pups mind; fear that something would steal Anya's time again. Though Anya had not gone anywhere, Benjen had dearly missed her.
But it would be silly of him to admit something so impossible.
Anya's arms wrapped around him and she squeezed him just as tight before she whispered in his ears.
"I missed you too."
Benjen pulled back, his eyes bright, his cheeks red and his lips in a pout.
"Don't be silly Anya, you didn't go anywhere!" he huffed.
As the children had their moment, Arrei watched from the sides with a full heart. It was no secret in Winterfell that the young lord Benjen worshiped the little lady. How could he not when she dedicated so much to the young lord. It was obvious to any who simply gave the time to pay attention that the youngest Stark child looked at Anya as if she were more than a sister. He looked at her as if she were his mother.
Despite her wants not to, Arrei had to interrupt the moment or else Benjen would miss his lessons.
She was met with a scowling pout from the little lord but an accepting nod from the little lady.
"Can't I skip today!?" Benjen pleaded.
Before Arrei could start on all the reasons why he couldn't, Anya spoke in her stead.
"Benjen, you know why your lessons are important" she gently scolded.
Benjen huffed and looked up with sad wide eyes and shuffling feet. Arrei had been exposed too many times to such a look and knew exactly what the young boy was attempting.
"I know but….. I haven't gotten to see you as much since your lady gathering. I missed you Anya."
By the gods, the little wolf pup really was such a cunning thing.
But to Arrei's surprise, Anya did not seem to fall for the act. Instead, the girl looked thoughtful before she gave a cunning sly smirk and whispered her response.
"Well….. I suppose Father won't be too displeased if you were only a little bit late to your lessons."
Benjen lifted his head and beamed up at Anya, while Arrei tried not to show how her heart burst at witnessing the utter adoration between the two siblings.
"So long as Arrei doesn't mind keeping her silence, of course." Anya added.
It was never really a choice.
Arrei gave a similar look of playful cunning and winked, pretending to lock her lips.
"My orders were simply to see the little lord to his lessons, my lady. There was no specified time given."
It was worth the possible trouble she might receive, if she got to witness the utter excitement both children expressed. Benjen gave a cheer and quickly tugged on his sister's hand, Anya gave a laugh before willingly being pulled.
"Can we race!? Oh please, oh please, oh please Anya! We could be charging knights sent to protect a king's fairest daughter!" Benjen pleaded and Anya couldn't find it in her to say no.
Arrei followed along with the children, marveling at how energetic and lively they were as they fought invisible foes. Both children acted out their little fantasy with serious dedication and any who saw them couldn't help but laugh at the image they made.
"OVER THERE! Dodge Anya!" Benjen cried out before slashing his arms with his invisible sword.
Anya twirled in place and pretended to fall over her feet.
"Oh no! He's taken my sword! Help me Benjen!" she yelped.
"I'LL SAVE-"
"What in the name of the Gods is going on?"
Anya, Benjen and Arrei both froze in place at the sudden exclamation. They all turned and found Brandon gaping at them in utter shock and humorous disbelief. The Stark heir had been returning from his early practice. He'd waved off Lord Dustin's offer of company, choosing to spend a few more weeks at home with his family. If his decision had been influenced by the way Anya had softened her mask at the farewell feast, only he would know. Brandon had reasoned in his mind that if Anya's cold mask was weakening than it would only need a bit more prodding to have it broken forever.
Never did he expect for it to happen so easily and so soon, without his influence.
"Bran!" Anya yelped as she hurried to her feet with her cheeks burning a dark pink.
Benjen however glared irately at his older brother, who was staring at Anya with shock.
"I- we were just…. Studying?"
Brandon wasn't mad, but for whatever reason it seemed Anya thought he was. Rather than assure her, he inwardly grinned and outwardly arched a brow with inquiry.
"Studying, you say? My understanding is that our little brother is meant to be in his lessons. Yet, here I find both him and my Lady Sister playing!? Do my eyes deceive me or am I mistaken and it is not my sweet sister Anya but my wild sister Lyanna?"
Anya shuffles on her feet, her cheeks darkening with heat as she shyly looks down at her fingers. For a second, Brandon almost feels as if he is young again- a child of 3 and 10 years. He looks at Anya and sees the shy 6 year old full of wonder who he could so easily cause to blush. Something in his chest twinges and bursts and a heated warmth spreads throughout his body. The awestruck silence he'd fallen into is broken when Benjen stomps his way in front of Anya and defiantly stares up at the wild wolf.
"I am going to my lessons, Bran. Anya was helping me! I learn better if we play pretend," Benjen snapped.
Brandon chooses to ignore the huffy glare his little brother gives. Instead, he crouches low and teasingly pretends to squint at Anya. He feels his lips twitch with want to smile at how she fidgets.
"Oh really…..hmmm and what part of your studies were the two of you pretending to live?"
Benjen was quick to answer.
"The warring periods between the Kings of Winter and the Red Kings."
"I don't believe you!" Brandon taunts and Benjen bristles before he retorts.
"Well it's the truth!"
"I think you lie," Brandon taunts and Benjen is ready to snap back with an angry sneer.
The brothers cease their bickering when Anya interferes with a frown.
"Stop teasing him Bran,"
"Ngaw, but Nya it's too much fun. He reacts just as Lyanna used too." Brandon laughs and Benjen frowns with a glower and turns, blatantly snubbing his older brother.
"Come on Anya let's go."
Brandon grins wickedly and blocks Benjen's way causing the boy to stomp his feet.
"You're ruining it, Brandon!" Benjen whines with a pout and shiny eyes.
"Ruining what Benjen? It is not my fault you are needed at lessons. What sort of brother would I be if I didn't see you arriving exactly when you are needed?" Brandon continued to tease.
Anya frowned at Benjen's pouting expression and shiny eyes. While she knew Brandon was just teasing, she was well aware that Benjen was too young to remember how full of tease Brandon could get. It was not that Brandon was intentionally being cruel with japes, just unaware of when enough was enough.
"Bran, you are sort of ruining our battle," she interfered.
Brandon turned to Anya with slight bafflement and indignant disbelief. He opened his mouth to defend himself but Anya tempered him by elaborating.
"If you really wish to be a good brother then you could help us."
"Help you?" "Anya NO!" Brandon and Benjen both exclaimed in unison.
Benjen stomped his foot and pointed accusingly at Brandon with a glare and a whine.
"He'll only make fun of us! Besides, this is supposed to be a two knight ex-expe-expedition. So he can't join anyway!" Benjen excused, stumbling over his words a little.
Anya found herself feeling torn at seeing Benjen so upset and Brandon so insulted. She tangled her fingers in the sleeves of her dress, and missed the silent exchange between the brothers. Brandon glared down at Benjen as the youngest Stark pup glared up with a tiny smirk on his lips.
'Why the cheek of this little-' Brandon thought as realization dawned.
Brandon stepped forward with a scowl but Benjen was quicker. The youngest Stark child clutched at his sister's skirts and looked up at her with wide beseeching eyes.
"It's not fair. If Bran joins then he's going to be hero and I-…. I wanted to be the hero."
Benjen mumbles the end of his sentence, which causes Anya's heart to melt and cuddle him closer. She is too absorbed with Benjen's act, that she misses the mouth gaping shock that strikes Brandon dumb. Benjen turns his head and smirks victoriously at his gaping older brother- ironically the smirk on his lips is identical to Brandon's own smirk.
Arrei stifles her snorting laugh at the interaction. It is hilariously amusing to see the dawning of realization come to life in the Stark heirs eyes. Since his return, the wild wolf had some sort of misunderstanding that Benjen was simply a mischievous lad full of sweetness and charm. Evidently, in the moment the poor wild wolf was discovering the young pup's cunning wicked nature. Arrei couldn't imagine the moment growing anymore entertaining or chaotic. However, the gods must have heard her thoughts for turning the corner was Lyanna Stark herself.
"Anya? Benjen? Bran? What are you doing crowding the corridors?" Lyanna questioned with befuddled confusion.
It really was strange for the Stark brothers to see their wild sister look so…. Proper. Lyanna had her hair neatly braided in place, her dress wrinkle free with no splatters of mud or dirt. Of course the fact she was wearing a dress and not her usual stolen tunic and breeches was the most obvious difference. Anya however was the opposite; her dress wrinkled and muddied at the bottom, her hair messy with stray strands.
It was a disorienting difference, one that seemed wrongly strange yet oddly right.
"Lya!" Anya cheered, seeming to slump with relief at the arrival of her older sister.
Lyanna blinked with baffled confusion as Anya moved forward and took her hand in hers. She'd never seen her little sister look so messy, but above all else she was struck dumb by the mask free demeanor Anya acted with.
"What happened to you? Why is your dress so messy!? And your hair! We're you running Anya?" Lyanna blurted out in attempt to gain some semblance of understanding.
Anya giggled and Lyanna felt her stomach flutter while her heart skipped a beat due to shock. A pink flush appeared on Anya's usual pale cheeks and she bashfully looked to her feet. Lyanna was frozen breathless at such a look and suddenly felt as if she could cry with joy.
"The last of the visiting guests departed this morning. I may have been too overtly excited about their departure." Anya confessed.
Lyanna couldn't hold back the bubbling laughter that passed her lips and she leaned forward to tease her dearest little sister.
"Overtly excited? Nya you're an absolute mess."
Anya's pink flushed cheeks darkened to a red and she huffed, a tiny pout on her lips that highlighted the features she shared with Benjen. From the side where they watched their sisters, Brandon and Benjen deeply scowled at Lyanna and Arrei failed to hide the soft giggle she gave. In the moment, an atmosphere of warmth bloomed to life, one Winterfell had not seen gracing their halls since the death of Lady Lyarra.
Arrei watched as the Stark children soon devolved into a chaotic mess of bickering and tease. Despite Anya's laughter, Lyanna's complaints, Benjen's accusing fuss and Brandon's light mocking; there was an obvious gap. A moment of pause between words as if the siblings were subconsciously waiting for someone else to speak. Though they seemed whole in the moment, there was one wolf still yet to return home to the pack.
As Lyanna and Benjen argued over the strategy the Winter Kings used against the Red Kings, Brandon spied the soft yearning in Anya's eyes. He took advantage of the distraction his younger siblings were caught in, and slung a comforting arm around Anya's shoulders.
She looked up at him and he grinned at her widely.
"All this relentless bickering is a waste of time, don't you think Nya?"
Anya looked puzzled for a second and Lyanna and Benjen fell silent with suspicious regard towards their oldest brother. Brandon continued to speak, ignoring his other younger siblings for Anya alone. He shrugged his shoulder in a carelessly confident manner and puffed his chest out with pride when he spoke.
"After all, King, Knight or some other- all titles that matter little. We both know it is me who will always be the hero," He bragged.
Lyanna snorted loudly while Benjen stomped his foot again and practically growled in denial.
"I'M THE HERO! You're just-"
"KEEP DREAMING! As if Nya would-"
As Lyanna and Benjen started to aggressively list all the ways Brandon was no hero, the humor in Brandon's expression shifted into a insulted glower. Anya couldn't help but laugh at the sudden argument emerging, only growing quiet when Lyanna turned to her expectantly.
"Why don't we have Nya choose then! Anya, who do you think would be a better hero?"
Suddenly it wasn't funny and more awkward. Anya fell speechless, unsure of what to say when Brandon looked at her so confidently, Lyanna waited expectantly and Benjen peered through his lashes earnestly.
And yet, Anya still found her courage to confess her honest thoughts.
"Well….. I always thought it'd be Ned."
The silence that came into existence among the Stark children was truly a moment to cherish. One could argue it was as if the Quiet wolf had suddenly appeared and stolen from his siblings their ability to speak. It was Lyanna who found her words first and she spoke what they'd all thought.
"That's not even FAIR! Ned's not even here! You can't pick him, pick again."
"Wha- but you just asked-"
"Again! Nya! Pick Again!" Brandon persisted.
"But why!?" Anya questioned with complete bafflement.
"Because Ned doesn't count! If he isn't here he doesn't count!" Benjen contributed with intent seriousness.
"But I-"
"Ahem."
All of the Stark children froze in place at the sudden throat clearing. They slowly turned and found themselves being considered by stern grey eyes. Brandon abruptly straightened, Lyanna smoothed her dress and hair. Only Benjen and Anya seemed at ease but both children were red with embarrassment.
"Which of you would like to explain why the Maester came to inform me, that not only was my youngest absent from his lessons; The septa could not find any of my daughters and my Heir had simply seemed to vanish?"
Never, did Lord Rickard expect to find all four of his children clustered together in the West wing corridor. He closely examined them with his cold grey eyes and took note of their appearance in dress and body. A twinge of wistful yearning and mournful throbbing beat to life in his chest. He was not surprised that it was Anya who spoke up. He could hardly be blamed for the smile that stretched on his lips.
"Um….. Lunch?" she awkwardly suggested.
And while the rest of his children eagerly clung to the excuse, adding their own words in support- Rickard listened with a aching heart.
Just another year more and the pack will reunite.
Just another year more…
He accepts the excuse and they make their way to dine in the halls. As they walk, he watches how Lyanna moves with grace, eyes the slight saunter Brandon struts with, is amused by Benjen's mirroring of his own way of walking. It's not till their seated, waiting to be served that he considers Anya. She is beaming with something he can only describe as carefree in her eyes.
The ghostly laughter of his love rang in his ears as he considered Lyarra's gifts and the words she had whispered in his ears in her final moments.
'It will break you my love, but we must see it through. The lone wolf dies but the pack survives. I will not see them grow but believe me my love, they are beautiful. So beautiful and you will be proud of them. So proud… The lone wolf dies but the pack survives. See them prepared. See them ready to face the world, Rickard, but love them always.'
He stares at his children, lingering for a moment on Ned's empty seat, before watching Anya giggle at her siblings biting bickering. He watches her the longest as his heart achingly beats faster. She feels his stare and gives to him a shy but proud grin.
It breaks his heart to know what he has to do.
But he must.
For the world is harsh but the Gods can be cruel and his children must be prepared to face it.
~*~*~Winter Storm Queen~*~*~
Later, Brandon would privately rage and blame himself for the oversight. He should have known- should have suspected, but it would be far too late as the damage would be done. Rickard had been considerate enough to wait until the meal was soon to end. Only then did he motion for the help to leave and order Arrei to see Benjen to his lessons.
"But father-"
Rickard interrupted his youngest child with a soft but stern look and slight shake of his head. Reluctant, but obediently, Benjen sighed before bidding his leave and excusing himself. Next, Rickard ordered all the help to leave the room- voicing his intentions to share a private word with his children.
Again, it is at this point Brandon really should have known. However, the wild wolf was too caught in the hype- too filled with nostalgic warmth about memories long passed. He saw nothing suspect and later he would punish himself for being a blind fool.
There is a lulling beat of silence among them. One that causes Lyanna to fidget uncomfortably and Brandon to roll his eyes impatiently. The only Stark child seemingly at ease with the atmosphere is Anya. She straightens in her seat to her full height and completely surrenders all her attention to her father. Rickard inwardly takes note that she does not bother to muster up her mask. The pounding of his chest aches again, because he has truly missed seeing his youngest daughter so freely expressive; still he must teach his children this lesson.
"I suppose you suspect my reasons for wishing to speak with you?" Rickard begins.
Although he addresses them all, he is staring at Anya.
Lyanna continues to fidget, feeling uneasy with a worrying churn in her belly. Regardless, she attempts to maintain her ladylike decorum. Occasionally casting quick glances to Brandon, nervous and unsure if her wild brother is still mad at her. Afraid that perhaps he'd lied and already told father about what she had done.
Anya smiles, the expression settling on her lips with ease as if it'd never been concealed beneath a marble mask for so many years. The shining of pride gleaming from the depths of her eyes is obvious and Brandon can't help but grin at the sight. The wild wolf has never felt more at home than in this moment. He tricks himself for the moment, fools himself so stupidly that his pack is still whole and Ned and Mother are just somewhere else in the castle tending to errands. Brandon can't help but think 'this is exactly how it should be'; with Lyanna as a lady in progress and Anya free to be a child.
"Only a little," Anya cheekily grins.
Rickard feels a small part of his heart crack and shatter, but the twitch of his lips is genuine and sincere.
He reminds himself that he must do this.
"Tell me then, all that happened during your Ladies gathering and we shall see if you have passed."
Rickard watches all three children as Anya gives a detailed report of all she'd organized and saw to during the gathering. He listens and watches, never interrupting. It's because of this he sees the seeping change in Brandon and Lyanna's manner. He witnesses how realization begins to dawn on Brandon, and slow creeping fear and anxiety in Lyanna.
By the time Anya has finished her recount, Brandon and Lyanna are tensely watching him.
Rickard ignores the older two of the children and continues to watch Anya. She looks at him patiently, he can see how deeply proud and satisfied with herself she is.
He doesn't want to but he must.
So he turns to Lyanna and quietly prompts her with a cold tone.
"Do you have anything to add Lyanna?"
Perhaps it is by the tone in which he speaks?
Perhaps Anya knows him best and that is why she clicks?
Regardless of how, the air between the four of them begins to shift from tense to incredibly heavy.
"Did I miss something?" Anya hesitantly questions.
Lyanna is pale and her fingers are tangled tightly in her dress. Brandon has clenched his jaw so tightly his teeth begin to ache. Anya darts a furrowed look of confused concern between her two older siblings. No matter how deeply Rickard wants to assure her with a slight smile or something similar, he persists and maintains his cold persona.
He says nothing and Anya then turns to her sister with beseeching eyes.
"Lya…?"
Lyanna is still pale but her eyes are starting to water.
The silence she keeps is enough for Anya to know and they all see the change come over her.
The shine in Anya's eyes dull, the smile on her lips wilt and tug downwards. She sits stiff and her brows furrow. The warmth and air of happiness she'd been exuding evaporates. When she speaks she doesn't look at Rickard or Brandon, she continues to stare at Lyanna. When she speaks, it is with a whispered plea saturated with denial.
"What did you do…"
Lyanna opens her mouth as if to say something but nothing comes out. The silence stretches and Anya turns to Rickard awaiting answers. Brandon attempts to interrupt but Rickard silences him with a stern berating. Brandon shuts up, not because of his father's demand but because he is struck with despair at seeing Anya's mask return.
Rickard speaks, and all three children listen.
He tells them exactly what he knows and they all watch how Anya's mask hardens.
When he finishes, she is still stiff- like a marble frozen statue.
And she says nothing.
~*~*~Winter Storm Queen~*~*~
Father is speaking but for the first time in all her years, Anya is not listening. No, she is listening, but to her ears his words seem fuzzy and distant. As if he is attempting to speak to her over howling winds of snow. She hears that he is speaking but can not make sense of the words. Anya is not listening because she is struggling to understand.
She stares at her sister, hoping or perhaps searching for answers.
Seeking her help to understand what Father is trying to tell her.
Because father is no liar.
Father would never lie and rarely does he jape.
Anya wants to believe it is all just a jape but Father does not jape.
At some point he must have finished, but she isn't listening.
She simply sits and stares, her mind races in attempt to make sense of what is happening.
And then….. Brandon calls her name and everything spins into focus.
Everything registers in her usually sharp mind and there is a burst of something cold and sharp in her chest.
When Anya speaks, she does not recognize the tone of her voice.
The person who speaks sounds dead- cold without emotion.
This person only says two words and they are spoken stiffly with heavy weight.
"I see."
Her face feels strange and she does not know what expression it wears. She thinks she is wearing her mask but it feels firmer- stiff, heavy and solid on her skin. The mornings laughter and earlier glee feels like a distant memory. Anya feels cold inside, but it is supposed to be warmer now. Then Lyanna shifts and Anya turns away from where she'd been staring holes into her sisters side.
"Nya I-"
"And so what have you decided, Father?" she cuts to interrupt.
Brandon slams his fists on the table and he stands to his feet.
"ANY-"
"Sit down Brandon." Father orders but Brandon remains standing.
Brandon begins to yell but Father does not rise to the argument. He simply watches Anya and she returns his stare with patience she does not feel. Eventually, Brandon's angry shouts have tapered as he realizes that neither Father and she are listening.
"My stipulations had been clear. My specifications given with no offers of compromising. Therefore, I consider the entirety of your Ladies Gathering to be a failure."
'You have failed.'
Father does not say the words, but she hears them all the same.
She feels her spine bend and a whooshing of breath escapes her. She suddenly feels as if she can't breathe as the words weigh her heavily down. They pull at her until she feels the need to curl into herself. When she tunes back into her surroundings she finds that both Brandon and Lyanna have crowded her but Anya wants space. She does not want them to touch her, she does not want to see their faces.
She desperately craves privacy because she does not know what is happening to her.
"Anya!" Lyanna cries and again the cry of her name brings everything into focus.
She jumps to her feet, her hands shaking in their curled form and asks to be excused. Easily, Father nods and she turns on her heel and runs. She hears Lyanna chasing after her, but Brandon remains behind to rage at Father. Anya pays it little mind as she feels she needs clean air to breathe. She races out into the gods woods, uncaring about who she disturbs along the way. She runs till the ache in her chest is hard to ignore and agonizes her.
She runs till she collapses at the roots of the weirwood trees.
Only there does she let herself shatter.
She is only given seconds to be alone until Lyanna has caught up.
Then again, her name is cried out and before Lyanna can touch her, Anya bursts.
~*~*~Winter Storm Queen~*~*~
"Anya please!" Lyanna starts, her face already wet and her chest heaving out of breath.
"Don't." Anya snaps.
"If you just listen I can-"
"I said don't!"
"It wasn't my fault they said I-"
"I SAID DON'T LYANNA! JUST SHUT UP!" Anya screams.
Lyanna swallows any words she'd been about to blurt. She can only stand stiffly with silent tears falling from her eyes. Anya is not crying, her face is unnervingly blank and her eyes seem dead and unseeing. She kneels before the weirwood trees for a few seconds longer, never turning to look at where her sister hovers behind her.
The air is chilly as evening begins to dawn.
Both girls can feel the nipping of winter's kisses on their cheeks.
The silence is too much and it is Lyanna who breaks it. She warbles out her words as if she is being choked. It claws its way pass her tongue and is carried on the wind. She is seconds from sobbing but the words are spoken clearly.
"I'm sorry, Nya."
They trigger Anya in a way neither girl have ever experienced. They have fought before- bickered and argued. Only this is nothing like those past disagreements. This is something new, something entirely different.
But it is not rage, as it had been that first night of the Lady's Gathering.
Anya does not feel a deep seeded rage in her chest demanding release.
This feeling is cold and sharp. It feels like frost bite on her heart slowly spreading. She feels numb- feeling so much yet nothing at all. It feels as if she is hollow in her soul. As if someone or something had stolen from her any warmth in her blood. When Anya speaks, again it is with that same dead tone from earlier.
"Sorry? You're sorry?"
Lyanna suddenly feels a cold trickle of unease run down her spine. Anya rises from her knees and turns to face her sister. They stand opposite of each other- as if they are miles apart despite only being only inches away. Anya stares at Lyanna with nothing in her eyes- no softness, no awe and no affection. Lyanna feels as if she has been struck in the chest by a sharp sword. She feels her throat clog as she attempts to call to her sister again- but the words won't leave her lips.
"Do you know what they call you Lyanna? Do you know what they say about you? They say you are a beast in a dress. They call you a she-wolf with no manner. They call you a tormenting little wench so wild and uncouth that you are a shame to our family name. The help mock you when you are out of ear- not out of envy or jealousy but out of spite. You are a topic of laughter and amusement. The ladies spit on your name because you are equivalent to a bratty babe in their eyes."
Anya speaks bluntly, her tone never rising or dipping, simply maintaining a steady blank pace.
Lyanna is struggling to speak, only managing to cry and silently choke while shaking her head in plea. Anya speaks on as if she doesn't see Lyanna. She speaks on while staring her older sister dead in the eye.
"The men find your presence suffering. A hazardous and tiring irritation to tolerate because you are their lords daughter. They trade quiet words about the poor Lord you'd one day marry. They mock any man who dares to try for your hand. They use your name as an example to other little girls of how not to act. They call you the Lord Stark's disgrace, justifying the name as a reason for why Father never let's us travel beyond Winterfell."
"Anya I-" Lyanna manages but again Anya cuts through any words she might have said.
"No one thought you could be a Lady."
They fall into silence again, and then finally Anya expresses something other than a blank expression. Lyanna witnesses how Anya's begin to fill with water, and a lone tear makes a wet path down her cheek.
"But I did." Anya whispers.
"I'm sorry Anya. It was a stupid mistake. When Barbary called me- when she said I- I'm sorry! You have to believe me!"
Anya stared at her sister through her blurry eyes and the longer she listened to Lyanna speak, the greater her chest ached. She just wanted it all to stop. She wanted to be alone. She felt as if she couldn't breathe despite being outside. No- she knew what she wanted above all else. She wanted to be as far away from Lyanna.
For the first time in her life, Anya didn't want to look at her sister at all.
It hurt too much.
"Leave me alone, Lyanna." She says before running past her sister.
Lyanna tries to stop her by grabbing at her dress but Anya pulls herself free. Lyanna is crying out her name, chasing after her but Anya is faster.
The sister's lose sight of each other and all Winterfell can hear are Lyanna's wailing cries for her sister.
~*~*~Winter Storm Queen~*~*~
Winterfell fell into a disarray of chaos and despair. The help were frantic with their chores, their whispers buzzing throughout the corridors as they searched for Anya's whereabouts by order of Brandon Stark. Throughout their search they'd all come across and heard the crying wails of Lyanna calling her sister's name through out the castle. For those old enough to remember, they were experiencing flashbacks to the time Lady Lyarra was on her death bed. It truly was a terrible experience for all in Winterfell.
Brandon stormed into his father's solar study and continued to express his outrage and wrath.
"How could you! You cold cruel hearted man!" he howled.
Rickard Stark coldly regarded his son with silence and simply sat through his tirade. He accepts Brandon's verbal abuse with outward ease until Brandon finally grows tired with the lack of reaction. The wild wolf shakes his head at his Lord father and speaks with disgust.
"We had her back. For just a moment she was Nya again and you- Do you even care at all?"
And still, Rickard maintain his silence.
The wild wolf leaves a path of destruction after his departure. Never knowing just how deeply his rage has affected his Lord Father. Only when he is sure Brandon is long gone, does Rickard cave to ache of his chest. He does not cry, only stews in the disgusting shame he feels towards himself. The ghostly comfort of his love is cold to his skin but he clings to the memory of her words with desperation. He silently prays for a sign of guidance or assurance to prove he has done the right thing.
But he is given no answers and so he wallows.
~*~*~Winter Storm Queen~*~*~
Brandon goes hunting.
The rage in his chest pushes him to seek and do something. The anger in his heart too heated to ignore. He hunts because his mind is wild with rage and wrath until finally he finds his victim. He finds her by Benjen's side, accompanying the little wolf pup from his final lesson of the day. The cloud of rage he feels blinds him and he forgets that his baby brother is near. Brandon lunges and he grips tightly at her throat. She flails and frantically tries to pull free from his grip but he holds her still.
"DID YOU TELL!?" He roars with demand.
Arrei claws at his hand, struggling to breathe with her eyes bulging with fear.
"BRAN!" Benjen yells
Brandon knows he is thinking irrationally but he is too desperate for someone to blame.
"M-my L-Lord I- gah!" Arrei attempts to speak.
It is only because Benjen's tugging hard at his clothes and crying his name, that he stops. Brandon tries to focus his mind and calm the raging roar in his blood. Eventually, he manages to temper his rage in order to gently brush Benjen off. However, the little wolf pup refuses to let go. Benjen fights him despite the fear he feels at witnessing Brandon's rage. He fights to cling to Brandon in hopes he could save Arrei.
"Let go Benjen." Brandon tightly orders.
"NO! You're being stupid! What are you even doing!? Huh!? Let her go, Bran!"
"BENJEN!" Brandon snaps.
Benjen flinches but he stubbornly tightens his grip while his eyes well with tears. It's the tears that really turn Brandon's rage, it leaves and is replaced by guilt. He immediately releases Arrei. As she greedily inhales Brandon bends down to Benjen's level and hugs him firmly. Benjen sobs silently and briefly resists the embrace. The brothers fight each other, one holding on while the other wants to be freed. It's Benjen who caves, he stops fighting and simply clings to Brandon. He buries his head into Brandon's neck and sobs and sniffles out his cries.
"Sh! I'm sorry pup. I'm sorry okay. I'm not angry at you. Never angry at you, okay pup."
Eventually, Brandon stops his crying.
Brandon wipes at his brother's face and tries to smile but struggles.
"Why are you so mad?" Benjen whispers.
Brandon struggles to find the words but Arrei speaks up with a croaky voice.
"He failed them…..didn't he….." She says.
Brandon glares but with Benjen in his arms he refrains from lashing at her again.
"Is this a confession? You swore your silence in the name of-"
A flash of irate anger briefly gleams in her eyes but she speaks with as much respect as she can muster.
"I kept my promised silence and so did all who swore the same."
"Then how-"
Benjne cuts Brandon's rising temper off once again.
"Are you talking about Father?"
Brandon looks at Benjen whose brows are furrowed with hard thought.
"Father knows everything, Bran. There isn't anything in the castle he's not aware off."
Brandon can't help the laughter that bubbles out pass his lips. He laughs like a cackling mad man, and then his laughter fades into disappointed shame and eventually silence. Benjen doesn't really get it, but he knows that something had happened. Arrei excuses herself and then it is only the brothers alone in the corridors.
"What happened?"
Brandon doesn't know where to start. He's not thinking straight- suddenly caught up in old memories. He speaks absently and tells Benjen what had happened. It doesn't make him feel better, instead he just feels hollow and dumb.
"W-Where's Anya?" Benjen shakily whispers.
"I don't know."
Then Benjen jumps to his feet and runs to join the search for his sister. Brandon remains on the cold floor of the castle corridor and hangs his head.
He had been an arrogant fool.
He feels as if he has lived in this despair before.
The look of heartbreak on Anya's face haunting his memory.
She's not dead or sickly and yet…..
Brandon feels as if he has lost his little sister all over again.
