Chapter 34 - Alliance
There was no making peace with what was happening right under his nose.
When Lex had been feeling guilt about the lives he had taken in his past, accidentally and intentionally, his family had been there to work in through the conflicting emotions.
When Helen had betrayed him, his mom had known what to say, when to provide comfort and when to ride the waves of grief with him.
When he had broken rules and needed restorations, his parents had given him sternness and gentleness in turn.
When his past with women had haunted him, they had had him write apology letters to the women he had hurt. He ended up delivering three of them. One of the women slammed the door in his face when he came to deliver it; one slapped him, hard; but one had accepted his apology and given him peace of mind. The whole exercise had been worth it.
There was no peace of mind to be found now. Nothing could comfort him.
Clark was reaching out to the dark side. He was going to try to make friends with him, reason with him. And Lex wasn't even allowed to know where it was taking place.
There had been many areas of his life in which Lex had felt helpless, but this wasn't one of them. His parents weren't helping, either. Every time Clark left the house, Lex had to wonder if he would ever see his brother again. The worry was making him sick. He had resorted to taking double doses of cold and flu medications every morning to hide the symptoms from his parents; he didn't need them to worry about him, too.
He had to admit that Clark did have a point about the fact that the darkness probably wouldn't kill him outright. It had never really had a desire to do that. To manipulate him, yes. To take advantage of him, absolutely. To steal his bodily fluids and experiment on them, sure. But dissection wasn't high on his priority list; neither was killing him or telling anyone his secret. Exposing Clark's powers to the world might officially make him the man who had discovered alien life, but it would also mean competition. The dark side would keep Clark's secret, and if he thought he could still use him, he would keep him alive, too.
That didn't eliminate Lex's fears that there might be an accident, or a fight, and that Clark would be hurt, even if not mortally wounded. If Clark ever came back to the house with so much as a limp from giving marrow, Lex considered it to be his own fault.
Because what his mom had said was sinking in more than he wanted it to. He had wanted to think of his other side as his opposite, but they were more like two sides of the same coin, two versions of the same person. He had seen himself, all too many times, tend toward the darker path. It was always when his connections with others were uncertain. Securing himself in the Kents' love didn't simply weaken the darkness; it separated the two sides, polarized them.
The comment she had made about how they weren't two people, but one—that was bothering him, too. She had a point: he didn't truly have multiple personality disorder, as he had heard MPD described. Yes, there was a part of himself that he struggled to control, separate enough that black kryptonite could split it away from him, and he thought of his darkness as another person, not part of himself, but his mom didn't quite seem to feel that way. It made him wonder if he should be taking more responsibility for its actions, if only mentally. And of course, he would've gladly taken responsibility for the things it did. Up to and including killing it to make it stop.
If anyone would tell him where it was.
Lex Luthor had felt better. He'd never been sick in his life before now. But a couple of weeks after he and his weakness separated, he started to feel the way he'd always heard the flu described.
That was a petty inconvenience in comparison to the isolation.
For a period of time, being separated from his weakness seemed like the best thing that could've happened to him. But quickly, he realized that more of his power than he wanted to admit came from the loyalties of others—something Lionel had never really understood. Returning to the plant would cause chaos and confusion; returning to the mansion would make it all too easy for his weakness, and the Kents, to find him.
Lex had plans. Big plans. He was going to do great things, escape the shadow Lionel had left over him. For now, most of what he was doing was research, with a fairly small team of employees and scientists. Eventually, he would track down his weakness—who would be a sitting duck, predictably hanging out at the farm—and imprison him for life. That would probably mean he would need to kill or otherwise incapacitate the rest of the Kent family. He wasn't exactly looking forward to that, but it needed to be done.
If he didn't stop them, they would kill him at the first chance they got. The entire time he had been living with them, they had made that abundantly clear. They might have loved the benefits their alliance with a billionaire brought, they might even have enjoyed his wit on occasion, maybe they even felt a little sentimental about trying to fix him, but they would never accept who he truly was.
Not that he cared, obviously. But he had to keep himself protected. That was why he was hiding out, where even Clark wouldn't think to find him.
And then, just a few weeks into his isolation, Clark walked through the door.
Lex was working on his laptop when it happened. No sooner had Clark entered the dwelling than he was on his knees, breathing hard.
"Really," Lex said, barely looking up from his work, "did you think I'd let you waltz in here and kill me?"
"I just want to talk," Clark gasped. "I'm not armed."
"You're never unarmed, unless there's kryptonite around."
"Please. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise."
Lex scoffed at that. "Says the boy who lies every other sentence."
"Not since I made that promise to you. I swear."
"You must have me confused for someone else."
"I understand if you want to keep kryptonite on hand, I wouldn't feel safe either if I were you."
"A brilliant analysis."
"But hear me out."
Finally, Lex set aside his laptop. He leaned forward in his seat, looking down at Clark, who was on his hands and knees, his skin pale, almost green. "Talk."
A groan escaped his lips. "Please. It… I'm…" His head dropped, his eyes closed, and his whole body shook.
Lex sighed. He had forgotten about the other side effects of kryptonite, now that Clark had suffered a traumatic experience. He was getting flashbacks again.
Lex hadn't really wanted to cause that. It was Lionel's fault, of course, but Lex wasn't his father. He didn't want to be his father. He didn't enjoy causing pain. He went over to the bookshelf beside Clark and picked up the little glowing piece of rock, pocketing it. Then he walked all the way across the room, far enough that he suspected Clark wouldn't be able to feel it. This way, he would be protected if Clark got any ideas. Lex was under no impression that he could get to the kryptonite fast enough if Clark decided to attack him—Lex would be dead before he knew what was happening—but this would keep Clark from getting close.
"There," he said. "You can talk to me from there."
Clark pulled himself to his feet. Once he was up, though, he seemed to be at a loss for what to say. Finally, he stammered out, "How are you?"
Lex laughed.
Clark took a step closer, but he winced and stepped back.
"You came along way for pleasantries. I think it's time for you to go."
"Wait. I do want to talk to you."
"I am waiting."
"It's just…" His breath caught. "What happened to you? And how did you become like this?"
Lex almost started walking toward Clark, to force him to leave.
"I'm sorry, that didn't come out right."
"You've been searching for me for a long time to have come without a plan."
"The plan's changed a couple of times. The other Lex wanted me to kill you. I was going to imprison you."
"On the off chance of hurting me would hurt him. I get it."
"That's not why I came unarmed."
Lex raised his eyebrows.
"Your other half, he isn't all good. I mean, he's good, but he's not perfect. And if he's not perfectly good—"
"I'm not perfectly evil? That's what you're going with?" Lex shook his head in disbelief. "You came here to try to talk me down?"
"What is it you want?"
Lex put on a dramatic expression of pondering. "Well, I suppose I want what everyone wants. Apple pies, picket fence, two and a half kids someday."
"Really?"
"Damn, you are pathetic."
"My mom thinks you still want to be a part of our family."
"Gag me." He had given up envisioning that a long time ago. It wasn't an image he fit into. "Is that all you got?"
"No. I… I want to hear your answer."
"About what I want?"
"Yeah."
Lex looked away, thinking through his projects. "I want a medical breakthrough. We've gotten pretty far with your blood, but we could do more with other samples. I want to find the last of those stones of power."
"You have two already?"
"And a lead on the third." He didn't like to admit how much easier it would be with Clark on his side again.
Clark looked down, thinking. "What if I could help you?"
Lex stared at him. It had to be a trap. There was no way good, pure, insufferably self-righteous Clark was going to help win Lex more power for himself. "What's the catch?"
"Just that you and I would be working together. As brothers."
"We are not brothers."
"Friends?"
"Let's say allies."
"Is that an agreement?"
Lex considered him. "What are your terms?"
"Just for you to keep an open mind."
"And take the kryptonite out of my pocket?"
"Only when you're ready."
Lex paced a couple of steps. He tried to see the situation from Clark's point of view, but it was hard to predict the tactical strategies of an idiot. Then again, Clark had specifically mentioned talking to his mom and the other Lex about this. "How does my other half feel about you being here?"
"He's not thrilled."
So he knew. And he hadn't stopped Clark. That answered his question—Clark was the spy, keeping an eye on the enemy.
Lex could work with that.
"Fine," he said. "On one condition."
"You want my blood."
"No. We've been able to stabilize blood cell generation with your marrow."
"So you want new marrow."
Lex smirked. "I want CSF."
Clark's brow furrowed. "What's that?"
"Cerebrospinal fluid."
"How do you get that?"
"Needle in the spine."
"Done."
Lex shook his head. Clark hadn't even hesitated. "Why are you doing this?"
"I want the chance to spend time with you. I want to be brothers, or at least friends. I don't want you to think no one can care about you."
As cover stories went, it was pretty weak. Lex might've expected more from his other half. "Whatever you say. Let's get started."
