The scream of pain turned to one of rage as he recalled the events of the previous evening. Pounding his first on the floor, he splintered the wood with his force as a sneer crossed over his face.
"Damn that Remus Lupin! I should have known that he would keep his precious Tonks locked up last night. They have performed the mating ritual and now my plans are put on the back burner, for now. But I will have my day."
Remus awoke as the sun rose, his body was contorting back into Human form and he was howling in pain. It was never as bad changing back, but it was also never pleasant. He was gasping for breath as he reached for Tonks' hand. The worst was over, they wouldn't have to worry about another transformation for a month to come. They needed to get their rest though, their bodies were exhausted.
Tonks had woken around the same time as Remus and her pain, though not as intense as the night before, was bad enough. She felt every muscle and bone contract as she regained her human shape and howled in pain to match Remus' own howl. When she was back to her human form, she looked over at Remus who was reaching for her hand and reached out to him herself. She was shocked to find how weak she felt, the smallest move took much effort. "It really happened, didn't it?" She whispered softly.
"If you mean the mating ceremony, yes it did, and it worked," he said weakly, "you are stuck with me now for the rest of your life." He was trying to lighten the somber mood that Greyback's visit had left them with. He knew how terrified she must be, and his resolve to kill him was strengthened. He couldn't let Tonks get hurt, he would do anything to keep it from happening, even kill their enemy.
"Stuck with you...you make it sound so negative..." She said softly. "I never wanted anything more." Another part of the night came to the front of her mind. "He was here...outside the house." She realized how cold she was feeling, but whether it was from fear or due to the temperature in the room she didn't know. Maybe a combination of the two. "I guess he knows that he lost."
He moved across the floor to pull her into his arms. "He knows he lost, but that doesn't mean he will give up. His continued presence after we were mated is proof of that. He wants you, even though the magic governing werewolves won't allow it. Somehow he must think he can find a way." He looked into her eyes. "You know that I won't let him have you, don't you?" He was scared to let her out of his grasp.
"I know, Remus," She said, looking deeply into his eyes. "Let's not talk about him." Her golden brown eyes pleaded with him and she allowed a ghost of a smile to grace her lips. Leaning gently forward, she gave him a kiss which was sweet and tender, remembering the pleasures of the night before. "This was really one birthday I will never forget, Remus."
"It isn't over yet, I have a few gifts to give you. One as a traditional part of the mating ceremony, and one as a gift for your birthday. When we are finally able to move back upstairs and into bed," he teased as he kissed her neck softly. "It seems that I was wrong."
Tonks smiled at him then wrinkled her forehead in thought, "What were you wrong about, my love?" She stretched out her legs and flinched at the pain that simple gesture caused, "Oh, I hope that we have some pain potion around here, I am really going to need it." Her whole body ached, as if she had run a fifty mile marathon. "I don't know if I'll be able to move again."
Remus pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I made sure to stock our potion cabinet, we have some pain potion for the both of us," he said soothingly. He knew how painful it was for a younger werewolf during their early transformations, he remembered the agony he was in when he had woken up after becoming human again. "Tell you what, if you can make it up to our room, I'll meet you upstairs with the pain potions and then I'll give you your gifts," he promised. Remus pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I made sure to stock our potion cabinet, we have some pain potion for the both of us," he said soothingly. He knew how painful it was for a younger werewolf during their early transformations, he remembered the agony he was in when he had woken up after becoming human again. "Tell you what, if you can make it up to our room, I'll meet you upstairs with the pain potions and then I'll give you your gifts," he promised. Biting her lower lip, Tonks nodded. "You better give me a head start though, because it may take me a week to get up there," She said, laughing but knowing that she was only half kidding. Painfully getting to her feet, she looked down at her naked form and wondered how she had looked last night. "By the way, you make a very sexy wolf, Remus Lupin.
He found the stock of pain potions in the back of the cabinet and pulled them out. There was a good stock of them for now, but who knew how long they would stay at 12 Grimmauld place? He didn't know if she had thought about looking for a house of their own yet, but they would be starting their new jobs in the coming week. They would have the money to buy a small flat, or even a house out in the country so they could transform at home. As he went back upstairs he wondered how she would feel about owning a little house on the edge of the woods. It would be much easier to handle than a place in town. He decided to ask her about it.
He walked into the room and saw her lying on the bed, her body stretched out. He assumed it was because she was trying to stretch out her sore muscles. "Here, this might help love," he said and handed her the potion bottle. "When you are finished taking that, I'll give you your gifts." She looked up and smiled at him, accepting the proffered bottle. "Thank you." She drank the potion down and within a few minutes she felt herself begin to feel rejuvenated. Sighing with relief, she gingerly sat up. "Amazing things, potions. If it had been a muggle remedy I highly doubt it would have worked that quickly. My father would take something for his headaches and it took at least twenty minutes to just begin giving him relief."
"Even with Fenrir showing up, Remus, last night was wonderful. I can see why people become animagi. It's really neat to have another form, to break free of the human form and take on one of an animal. I hope that one day we'll be able to go hunt together, if we can get away from him"
He took her hand and looked up into her eyes. "I was actually going to ask you about that," he said softly. "I'm not sure how long you wanted to stay here in Grimmauld Place, probably until Fenrir has been dealt with, but I was thinking about looking for a home in the country, one near the woods. It would be comfortable for us." He hoped she agreed, it would really make things easier on both of them if they lived farther from the city.
Tonks smiled at him. "While I was laying here waiting for you to come up, the thought had occurred to me that we had made a lot of noise last night, to say nothing of Fenrir. You and I know that we did nothing wrong, but unfortunately if someone spotted Fenrir they may get the wrong idea about you and I. I think us being out in the country would be better for all of us considered."
"Do you have any idea of how much I love you?" he asked softly, tracing the soft curve of her neck and shoulder. "We will start looking for houses soon, but for now we are safe from Fenrir here, he can't come in the house." He smiled softly at her. He loved this woman will all of his being, and now she was his, completely and forever. They had been bound together by an ancient magic, and they could never be parted. It was the most amazing feeling he had ever had.
"I do, Remus," She said, glancing over his face with her fingertips. He was her whole heart and soul now, they were married in the way of the werewolf and one day they would marry in eyes of the wizarding community too. Taking her wand, she summoned her ring and placed it back on her finger. "I have been in love before, and I loved you before last night, but today that love is different. It's complete, it's whole. We are one."
He kissed her softly, his heart exploding with his love for her. She made him feel like he was home, no matter where he was. She was his home. That is what family meant, and she was now his family in every way that mattered. "Are you ready for your gifts now?" he asked as he wrapped his fingers tight around hers. "I think you will like them."
Deciding that things were too serious and they needed some humor, she chuckled. "Now, Remus, when did you ever know me to turn down a gift?" She had actually thought about what she would like to give him as a sign of their mating, but she wasn't sure what he would like. She knew that when the time came, she would know it. "If they are from you, Remus, I know I will like them."
He kissed her softly and walked over to the bureau to grab the two wrapped packages from where he had hidden them. He walked back over to the bed and handed her the first gift. "This one is for your birthday," he said handing her the larger of the two gifts. "Neither of them are very useful, but I thought you would appreciate them just the same."
She opened the first box, and to her delight there was an assortment of different items that she knew that he had chosen with care. There were chocolate frogs, Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, and assorted items from Wizarding Wheezes shop. She had always had eccentric taste and this was the perfect gift for her. She was truly touched by his thoughtfulness. "Remus, you know exactly what I like. Thank you."
He fingered the last gift he had for her. This one had more meaning that anything he had ever given someone, if she didn't like it... well, he wouldn't think about that. He handed her the gift and watched her open it slowly. Inside was a white gold pendant on a delicate chain. It depicted two wolves intertwined, their snouts touching at the nose. Their bodies were wrapped about each other. He thought it was the perfect gift for the ceremony. When Tonks opened the box and saw what was inside, she sat there for a moment or two not saying anything. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, and at last she looked up into the eyes of her Remus, her Ulfric. Their eyes met and she saw the concern in them. Smiling softly, she reached out and trailed her hand alongside his cheek. "Remus, this is so beautiful. Will you place it around my neck?"
He took the chain and wrapped it careful around her neck, bringing the fastenings to the back so that he could close it. He bent down and pressed a kiss to the back of her neck and held her close, drinking in her scent. It was different this morning, no longer distinctly hers. It was their scent. "Dora, you smell different," he said softly, still surprised at how that changed.
She placed her hand on the pendant at the hollow of her throat, closing her eyes and remembering the night before. She had been worried that it would have been frightening and it had been, in a way. But not in the way that she had expected. It had been wonderful and complete all at the same time. She turned to face him and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving his right ear a nibble as a way of affection. "I remember him saying about there being two scents that day in Diagon Alley. That isn't true anymore, is it?"
"No, we share a scent now. It's the scent of our pack. You and I are our own pack, we are family. It's a wonderful feeling isn't it?" he asked, touching her sides in a caressing motion. "If our children are werewolves as well, they will share our scent and be part of the pack. I hope they aren't though, no child should have to go through that at such a young age. A baby wolf would be hard to handle, the poor cub wouldn't be able to move, they would just howl. I don't know if I could bear to see our children in that kind of pain."
Tonks agreed with him that it was a wonderful feeling, nodding and smiling at him. When the talk of their children came up, her face fell as he spoke of the pain that the child would feel. She knew that would be horrible as well, but the alternative was also too much to bear. She knew that she had to be honest with him. "Remus, we need to find out as soon as possible what would happen if we have children. I mean, there's so much to think about. What happens if, last night when we mated, if I got pregnant then in wolf form? If we have children, yes it would be hard for them to be werewolves but it would also be hard on all of us if they weren't. We would have to worry about biting them."
"Dora, don't you think that Molly would take care of the children when we transform? I'm sure she would love to have a baby in her arms," he said kindly, brushing back a lock of hair behind her ear. "That is one thing that we wouldn't have to worry about. Our baby would be well taken care of no matter what happens." He hugged her tightly, kissing her hair.
"You're right, Remus. I'm really being silly," She said, blushing. "And you're right, she loves children. I'm sorry, things are just still a bit jumbled in my mind. There are several things I know for sure though. I know that I am the happiest I can ever remember being. I know that whether our child is a werewolf or not, no child will ever be loved more, and that I love you with my whole heart, body, soul and spirit." She ran her fingers through his hair affectionately, tracing the places where it was gray and kissing his temple.
"You don't hate me because of your transformation then?" This had been the things that had worried him most. If she had been so miserable during the transformation that she would try to leave him, not that she could any longer, they were bound together now, but he was worried that she would want to. He sat on the bed again, looking down at his hands. What had he done to her?
Tonks smiled at him, her eyes full of sadness. Did he really think that she could hate him? Reaching over, she took his head and gently tilted it up to look at her. "Remus, please listen to me. I could never hate you. I love you, I have for years, and I always will. When I became an Auror, I knew that things would be difficult. The training was hard and at times painful. I knew that there were days I could go out and not come back. But I continued because I love it, and refused to give it up no matter how hard it got. Same thing goes with our relationship. I know that once a month you and I will transform. But you know what?" Here she paused and smiled at him.
"Like being an Auror the benefits far outweigh the pain. I love you and I am here with you for better and for worse. Last night was the most wonderful night I can remember in my life, Remus, and nothing can take that away from me."
Looking into her eyes he could see that she meant every word she spoke. She really didn't blame him for her condition, she still had that beautiful optimistic attitude that he loved so much. "You have made me the happiest man alive, I don't deserve your love, but I refuse to give it up either." He pulled her down onto his lap and smiled as he kissed her. "I think that we need some rest, I'm still exhausted from all that activity last night," he said in a gentle and teasing voice.
Stifling a yawn from the activities of the night before, she closed her eyes partway and showed her weariness but at the same time looked rather seductive. The chill in the air had caused her flesh to be covered in goosebumps as it contracted to keep her warm.
"A rest sounds just like what the healer ordered," She said, smiling at her mate. "But I do believe we need to get under the covers, because I am rather chilly after being clothed in a fur coat most of the night.
With that, she wrapped her arms around Remus' neck, drinking in his scent which was now a part of her, and covered his face and neck with kisses.
Remus pulled her tightly into his arms and began to stroke her back gently, trying to lull her to sleep. He could feel in her muscles how tense she still was, even if she was no longer aching. "You need your sleep love, trust me, you will feel better after you rest," he whispered in her ear. He loved to watch her when she slept, he thought she looked like an angel. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and listened for the sound of her breathing becoming even. He couldn't sleep until he knew that she wouldn't wake up, it was part of protecting her and making sure she was safe. If he fell asleep before she did, he couldn't protect her from anything that might harm her.
Finally he felt her pulse slow down and he heard her soft and even breaths against his face. "I'll protect you from Fenrir Dora, no matter what I have to do to keep you safe," he promised. He closed his eyes and soon sleep had claimed him as well.
Tonks slowly became aware of her surroundings again as the blanket of sleep pulled aware from her. She could feel her love's strong, capable arms around her body and hear his throaty snores as he slumbered. His warm breath was upon her neck, a calm and soothing breeze which caused her body to tingle. She opened her eyes slowly, as she wasn't sure how late it was and she didn't want the shock of the bright sunlight to surprise her. However, she could tell by the streaming red light of the setting sun that evening was on its way.
Reaching over, she allowed her fingers to play through Remus' tan hair which had been streaked with gray due to his lifestyle and hardships he'd had to face. She gently massaged his scalp, not waking him but hoping to sooth him and let him know that she was there. Once she was nearly fully awake, she felt another beast inside of her wanting to be satisfied. Hunger clawed at her insides as she realized that neither of them had eaten since the transformation and that would soon need to be remedied.
He was awoken by his intense hunger. His eyes snapped open to find the bed empty and cold and his insides froze quickly. Had she left him? He got out of the bed as quickly as he could and pulled on a pair of old blue sweatpants. He couldn't sense her anywhere near him and he felt as if his heart were going to jump out of his chest in his fright. "Tonks?" He called worriedly as he scrambled down the steps to the kitchen. Perhaps she had been as hungry as he was? If that was it... why couldn't he feel her?
He entered the kitchen and heard her rustling around in the pantry again. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. As quick as his fear had left it came on him again. If she was almost standing next to him, why couldn't he feel her presence? He moved closer to the pantry and looked inside. Tonks was looking for something to make for them to eat, wanting to surprise Remus with it when he awoke. She knew that they wouldn't be eating their meat raw, as they had last night, but they would need meat to satisfy their hunger.
She recalled eating the raw meat, the taste of the flesh upon her lips, the tantalizing aroma that had drifted towards her nostrils as she tore at it and swallowed, but most of all the blood that had dripped off of the meat. That sweet sweet blood.
She licked her lips at the memory and knew that somehow, some way, the next full moon they would have to go hunting. They would take their potions so that the blood lust would not overcome them, but she longed for the thrill of the hunt.
She became acutely aware that she was no longer alone in the pantry. She heard the door open and the delicious aroma of her mate filled her nostrils. Turning, she forcibly embraced him and bit him gently on the neck. He felt her in his arms, felt her teeth against his neck... but couldn't feel her presence with him. It was more than a little disturbing, but he couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. "Tonks, what are you thinking about right now?" he asked. Perhaps while she was talking some of his feeling would come back. There was something odd going on that he couldn't discern. Why couldn't he sense her?
Tonks pulled away from Remus, and looked at him in a confused way. It seemed a rather strange question for him to ask but she figured he had a reason for asking it.
"Well, I was thinking about fixing us dinner, and then I started thinking about how good that steak tasted last night before we transformed. I thought about the flesh and the blood..." She said, shaking her head because it was getting her excited.
Raising her eyebrow at him, she felt more confused than ever. "Why do you ask"
He sat down at the table and looked around the kitchen. Only two years ago Sirius had sat at this very table, drinking firewhiskey and reminiscing about their school years. It almost didn't feel right sitting in this kitchen without him. "Do you ever miss Sirius?" He asked Tonks softly, wondering if perhaps that was his problem. Up until today his main focus had been on having a safe place to stay until her first transformation. Now his thoughts were focused on the memories of this house, and that might be what was clouding his perceptions and feelings.
Tonks closed the pantry and sat down with her head in her hands. She hadn't known what he was going to ask but she certainly didn't expect that question.
When she looked up again, tears were glistening on her auburn eyelashes like diamonds on a rose. She hadn't thought about Sirius that much over the past couple of years. He was gone, and then all hell had basically broken loose. "I do miss him Remus. We were both the black sheep of the house of black. He was put in Gryffindor and my mother married a muggleborn wizard. I have a few memories of him from my childhood, always with you, James and Peter of course. I was always amazed that you guys wanted a little twerp like me hanging around you. We had a special relationship, he and I."
"That rat Peter Pettigrew cheated me out of everything that we could have shared. By the time he was out of Azkaban, so many years had passed and then he was gone. We couldn't even have a funeral for him."
Once again she felt the pain of his passing and it tore her up inside. She saw in Remus' face a pain which matched her own, and she took his hand in hers.
"What do you think he'd say if he was here right now? Do you think he'd be happy for us?"
Remus squeezed her hand gently and he smiled at her. "Sirius had actually teased me on occasion about how I had looked after you. He told me numerous times that I would end up asking you to marry me because no one else would have me," he grinned at the memory. "I think Sirius would be happy for us love, I think he always knew deep down that we were meant for each other." Tonks smiled back at Remus, the pain once again becoming a dull ache. "I think he would be happy for us too," She said, squeezing his hand back. Tonks stood and summoned two bottles of firewhiskey from the pantry. Handing one to Remus, she opened the other.
"I propose a toast to Sirius Black - a shining star who was taken back into the heavens too long before his time." She raised her bottle in salute to her favorite cousin.
Remus lifted his bottle and touched hers lightly. "To Sirius," he repeated slowly and took a long drink from his bottle. It burned going down his throat, but he liked it, it reminded him that he was alive, and that he could feel pain. No matter what went wrong in his life, he was still alive and he had Tonks. He sat back in his chair and looked over at the woman he loved. She had endured so much with him, so much because of him, yet she hadn't left. She was the first person in his life apart from the Marauders who had gotten close to him, and hadn't left him. He reached across the table and took her hand in his. "Thank you for everything," he said softly.
Tonks drank some of the firewhiskey down as well. The alcohol burned her throat and she coughed a bit because she wasn't used to drinking alcohol that much.
When Remus said thank you, she smiled at him, "No thanks needed, Remus. I love you and nothing is going to change that"
He looked down at his bottle and decided to take another drink. He suddenly missed Sirius so much that all he felt was a dull ache inside his chest where the Marauders should be. He was the last remaining of the four brothers. He had lost the other three to war, all in different way... but they had always assumed that he would be the first to go, they had all been resigned to it. Now that he was the last one left he didn't know how to handle it. He was the lone brother, an outcast. He looked back up at Tonks and felt a swelling in his heart. No matter how alone he felt, he never would be again. He had a mate for life, a woman who would be his wife in a very short period of time. He knew that if he wanted to keep on living, he would do best to focus on the future, and leave the past alone."When do you want to get married?" he asked, pushing his firewhiskey away.
Tonks saw the shadow of sadness cross over her beloved's face, and knew that he was thinking about the other marauders. It had to be hard on him to be the last one. But then she saw him brighten up, and she smiled at him. When he asked the question about getting married, she thought for a moment before answering.
"Well, I think I'd like to get married as soon as we can. I don't want to put it off that long. But we have to also plan. Not just for the ceremony itself, but for the precautions we will have to take. Do you think Dumbledore might let us have it at Hogwarts."
She was thinking about Fenrir and the remaining Death Eaters who had survived the fight. They would love to stop their wedding from happening, she knew.
Remus was thoughtful, Dumbledore would probably let them have the wedding at Hogwarts, provided it was before the school year started. There might be a lot of confusion if school was in session when they had it. "I'll owl him this evening and ask him. It shouldn't be a problem I don't think, just remember that sometime soon I promised to take Harry and the rest of them to Potter Manor. Technically we could do that after school resumes, since none of them are going off to school this year. Hermione and Ginny should be in the stage where they are working on correspondence coursed through post and floo." Tonks took a deep breath and nodded, "You're right. I just don't want our wedding to be ruined, you know? And Hogwarts is the safest place we can think of. There is something that I would like to do before we start working at the Ministry"
She stood up and cleaned off the table, putting their firewhiskeys into the refrigerator. "I think we should go to St. Mungo's and talk to someone who can tell us about having a child. I don't know whether you want to have one right away or we want to wait, but since I am rather new to being a werewolf and you're not sure how the mating will affect our reproduction, we should find out about it before I get pregnant and we're in an unknown territory."
"We don't start work until Monday, we can go to St. Mungo's tomorrow and have a Healer consultation. I'm sure they would love to sit down and talk to us about it. They are there to help us out," he said and pulled her into his arms. He rested his cheek on top of her head and reveled at the feeling of her near him. Now that he had pinpointed his problem, he could feel her again. "I love you so much Dora," he whispered.
"I love you too, Remmy," She said, running her fingers through his hair and kissing his cheek gently. "Let's get something to eat to satisfy the hunger in our stomachs and then I have another hunger that I think needs to be taken care of as well," She said, winking at him.
