A/N Be awesome. Read and review this.

"I'm coming my precious, to make out with you, my precious," said a random, weird voice out of nowhere, who was totally being very awesome.

"My mother told me that I'm special," said Ron, sitting on Hermione and taking a huge dump at the same time. "Ahh... this feels good."

"What are we doing, my love?" said the random voice again.

"Uh, Harry? What's happening to your voice?" Ron asked, finishing up his awesomeness.

"I'm not Harry, my love... I'm coming to tell you that LUCIUS MALFOY AND DUDLEY DURSLEY ARE GOING OUT, MY PRECIOUSSSS!"

"Oh mah gah, let's get back to so, ze end of ze vorld eez over, and Harry Potter and friends are being totally awesome, dude. So, Harry finds out that Lucius and his weirdo cousin are going out, so Dudley is all like "woah" and Lucius is all like "I love muggles! Shut up, Voldemort! Yeeeee haw!" and then Voldemort was being awesome and stuff.

"Oh my GOD, they totally updated this thing!" said Voldemort, snogging Wormtail.

"Totally," Wormtail oh mah gah replied, "It's like that time when they made that thing where that dude replaced the word 'wand' with 'wang' in that Harry Potter thing on the intarweb."

"Do you want to see my wand, Wormtail?"

"Yessirie!"

Voldemort pulled out his wand and Wormtail gripped it and held it up. He then shouted, "this wand has killed so many people in the past! Who wants this wand to kill them NOW?"

So oh mah gah, while Voldemort is being awesome, Dudley and Lucius were being awesome, too. Lucius dug out his wand and showed it to Dudley, and Dudley tried to touch it but Lucius pulled it out and green sparks lit up. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" he shouted. Dudley, then his loveslave, fell to the floor with the wand facing him. "You wanna touch my wand now, huh?"

"Nooooo, why did they kill Dudley?" said Colin Creevey or WHOEVER THE HELL HIS NAME IS! Rawr.

"Because Dudley is a piece of WOAH!" said Harry Potter.

"I love you Harry Potter, can I kiss you?"

"No, no, no... your name is Colin Creevey, not Jim McGreevey!"

So, as ze end of ze vorld nears again, the world now being Venus because ze earth blew ze up, everybody is going crazy. People are like, being awesome and stuff, and Harry Potter is totally making out with Jim McGre--err--Colin Creevey, and Rita Skeeter is all over Lucius now and everyone is being awesome again! This is totally sweet, man. Totally!