Author's Note: HUGE thanks again to my beta, Sally. Also a big thanks to Melyanna, for cacthing a discontinuity in the last chapter and alerting me to it.

Only one more chapter to go after this, but it's kind of a long one!

Disclaimer etc. in first chapter.


John held the two photographs side-by-side, amazed.

"Scary, isn't it?" Kathy said from her seat on the floor by his feet. "And I didn't even realize when I dressed Hanna like that, that Dad had these pictures."

"So the dress and pigtails are just a coincidence," he said, looking at the pictures. "She looks so happy," he mused.

Kathy took the picture of their mother from his hands, knowing that he wasn't referring to his niece. "She does."

John sank back into the cushions a bit, a haunted expression on his face, and for a moment Kathy could see her little brother there, five years old and desperately in need of reassurance after their mother went to the hospital. He clenched his left fist – the one not holding the picture of her daughter, fortunately – and Kathy imagined that had he been alone he might have hit something.

"How did she get there, Kathy?" he asked quietly. "How did she get from this carefree little girl to a woman who didn't want to live?" He wasn't looking at the picture she held anymore, but had turned his eyes to the photograph of Hanna.

Kathy sighed. "I don't know, John. There aren't any answers here." She looked down at the picture in her hands, and then back at John.

His eyes were still glued to the photo of Hanna. "I used to wonder if it runs in the family. If some people were predisposed to suicide."

"Johnny..." Kathy put her hand on his knee and took the picture from his limp fingers.

"I know I'm not... we're not, genetically predisposed to suicide, Kath. That it doesn't run in the family." But he sounded as if he didn't entirely believe it.

"John, you're not going to wake up one day and kill yourself," she said, hoping it was what he wanted to hear.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "You know what we do can be dangerous sometimes, right?"

She nodded, unsure of where this was heading.

"We got into a bad situation about a year after we left. Really bad. It came down to the wire and there was really only one way to save everyone."

He took a deep breath. "I didn't even think about it, Kathy. I was out there, flying toward my death in an instant, never even questioning it. I'm only alive today because of a miracle of timing."

Kathy sucked in a breath, trying to keep her expression under control. Yes, she'd gleaned that their work could be dangerous, but somehow that was different from hearing her little brother talk about flying to his death.

"Did you want to die?" she asked, not really wanting to hear the answer if it was positive.

"I had to. I chose to."

"But did you want to?"

He looked her in the eye then, only for a moment, before shooting a glance down the hall at the closed door of the office. "No."

"She means a lot to you." It wasn't a question and John didn't treat it as such.

"I thought we meant a lot to Mom."

"Johnny." Once she was sure of his attention, Kathy raised herself onto her knees and stared at him intently. "You aren't Mom. I'm not Mom. Hanna's not Mom. You can't let what happened in the past keep you from having a future. A family."

Something flashed in his eyes then – she wasn't sure what. Hatred for all that she'd built? Rage that she'd moved on and he hadn't? Whatever it was, it was gone as quickly as it came.

He licked his lips and looked around the room, clearly wanting to move on to something else. When he finally spoke, it was with forced levity. "So, David really believes in aliens, huh?"

As subject changes went, it was less than graceful, but Kathy decided to let him get away with it. That didn't mean he was entirely off the hook, though, she thought, not answering his question. "So, you and Elizabeth going to keep making out in my living room? Because I do have kids, you know." She smiled as she said it.

She heard a strangled noise and looked up to see that Elizabeth had left the office just in time to here her latest remark. Well, that was timing, Kathy thought. She stood and smiled at them both, enjoying the slightly panicked looks they both wore. Deciding that her job as meddling sister was done for the time being, hoping that she'd done Johnny at least a little good, she gave them a little finger wave and left in search of Eric.


Elizabeth stood still behind the couch, torn between amusement and indignation. Kathy was very good at deliberately provoking them, but, really! They hadn't been making out! It was just one little kiss!

"Just a little kiss?" John's voice interrupted her thoughts, and she realized she'd said the last bit aloud.

Looking at him, she could see the strain of his conversation with Kathy. Realizing that he wasn't ready to talk to her about it yet, she kept her voice light and flirty. "Well, we were both still fully dressed."

And she was immediately bombarded with thoughts of them in stages of slightly less than fully dressed.

Well, that had done the trick, she thought as he stood up and she saw him leave behind all thoughts of Kathy and the past and focus on her. He gave Elizabeth a genuine smile. "I can't believe my sister caught me kissing on the couch. I feel like I'm in high school, sneaking around."

From his expression he didn't seem to think this was such a bad thing. His gaze was locked on her lips, and unconsciously she licked them, watching as his eyes followed the movement of her tongue.

"Is that what we're doing?" she asked, her voice a little husky. She knew she was treading dangerous waters, but she couldn't help it. "Sneaking around and making out in dark corners?" Not that she'd really done that in high school. Unless you counted those few times with Bobby Parrish, which had actually been kind of fun, now that she remembered it, except she was picturing John instead of Bobby...

John's eyes darkened, and he asked, "Do you want to?" and before she'd given it any conscious thought she was standing in front of him, threading her fingers into his hair and pulling his mouth down to hers.

At first she sensed desperation when he kissed her back, as if he were trying to drive away every bad thing that had ever happened to him. It only lasted a moment, though, and then he gave a little groan and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her body flush against his.

Crazy, she thought. This was crazy, coming out of nowhere like this ("Nowhere?" a little voice asked, reminding her of the months of looking and wondering while they'd both been on Atlantis). They shouldn't be doing this, not in his sister's house, and she decided that she'd give them just a few seconds more and then they had to stop. And then John took two steps backward and hit the edge of the couch, sitting down hard and bringing her down on top of him, and her shirt rode up a little in the back and she felt his hand on her bare flesh, sliding upward, and coherent thought was lost again for a little while.

It took them a few moments and increasingly loud "Eww!" sounds for them to realize they had an audience. Raising her head and removing her hand from where it had somehow found its way under John's shirt, Elizabeth took a moment to focus on David, standing at the foot of the stairs with a disgusted expression on his face.

"You guys are gross," he declared with great weight.

"David," John said, untangling himself from Elizabeth and sitting up. "What are you doing up?"

Elizabeth leaned back against the cushions, bringing a hand to her forehead and closing her eyes momentarily in embarrassment. She couldn't believe she'd forgotten herself like that, forgotten where they were, that there were kids in the house. She'd always prided herself on her being self-possessed in public, and while this was a private home, it wasn't her home.

Those months of waiting and wondering had really taken a toll.

"I couldn't sleep and I wanted some milk," David answered his uncle. He shook his head at them. "I can't believe you were kissing her," he said, and then left for the kitchen with great dignity.

"Give it a few years," John muttered under his breath, and Elizabeth bit her lip to stifle a giggle, her sense of humor taking over her embarrassment.

"You know," she began as she ran her hands through her hair, wondering if she looked as mussed as she felt, "Kathy has a point. We really shouldn't be doing this in her living room, not with her kids around."

"Want to take it upstairs?" John asked mischievously, but the look in his eyes was serious and Elizabeth felt both a little thrill at the words, and a little worry that they were taking things too fast, but then she remembered the feel of his lips on hers, his hands on her skin and she decided she didn't really care how fast they were taking it just right now.

Before she could say anything, however, they heard David shut the refrigerator and he came back into the room, milk in hand and disgusted expression still in place.

He paused on the stairs to look back at them. "Gross," he said with a shudder before going back to his room.

Elizabeth couldn't help giving into laughter this time.


The next morning, John beat Elizabeth downstairs, but Kathy had already left. Eric was busy shooing David and Hanna out the door before they missed the bus. He mumbled a hasty good morning to John and said he had to work at home this morning, so he'd be in the office if they needed him.

John had just gotten a mug out for coffee when Eric stuck his head back into the kitchen. "Forgot to tell you, Kathy left a note for you by the stove."

Sipping his coffee, John picked up the note.

Johnny, when I asked if you were going to make out in the living room, I didn't mean for it to be an invitation! David told me you and Elizabeth were being "icky." She'd drawn a smiley face next to "icky" and John grinned.

He continued reading. Take the woman out on a date and go neck at the movies or something, like you're supposed to! Paper clipped to the note, he found the movie section of the paper listing shows he'd never heard of.

"Is there more coffee?"

Looking up he saw Elizabeth standing in the doorway. He nodded to the counter where the coffeepot was still mostly full, and stepped aside so she could reach it.

"My sister wants us to go neck at the movies," he said conversationally, holding up the note.

Elizabeth's hand froze on the handle of the pot and she turned an incredulous look on him. He smirked back at her. After a moment, she grinned. "Well, I'd hate to disappoint her. What's showing?"

Neither of them had any idea what the current movies were about, and they didn't want to interrupt Eric to ask, so they picked one with an interesting title and decided to catch a matinee. Elizabeth wanted them to be back in time to help out with dinner that night, because "the least we can do for them putting us up is pull our own weight."

To pass the time after breakfast, John grabbed a pad of paper and settled himself at the dining room table to give some thought to new duty rosters for when they got back to Atlantis. Elizabeth sat across from him with her laptop and a translation she'd been meaning to work on.

They managed to work quietly for almost an hour before John felt something slide along his leg, something that felt decidedly like Elizabeth's foot. He glanced up quickly, but she was staring down at her computer in concentration.

He looked back at his own paper. The notepad was covered with only a few scribbles, although several sheets that had been folded into paper airplanes were at his elbow. Maybe he'd imagined it. But no, there it was again. Casting a suspicious look in her direction, he saw that although she was studiously bent over her computer, her hands were nowhere near the keys, and her eyes weren't moving.

John bit back a smile, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Elizabeth – Dr. Elizabeth Weir, leader of Atlantis and diplomat extraordinaire – was playing footsy with him while his brother-in-law was working right down the hall.

Well, turnabout was fair play, and so John reached his own leg over to bump hers.

They continued like this in silence for a few minutes, both of them pretending to work and neither of them succeeding. Then Elizabeth's foot slid high onto his thigh and he made a little noise that was definitely not a squeak, no matter how much it sounded like it, and Elizabeth looked up.

"John?" He blinked at her for a moment, noticing that her own pupils were slightly dilated, and she dropped her foot. It allowed him to clear his mind enough to reply, "Yeah?"

"What's the earliest showing?" Her voice was a little more breathless than usual.

"Of the movie?" He wasn't quite up to full thoughts yet.

"Of any movie that won't have kids in the audience," she answered, and he bolted from his chair to grab the paper.