Curiosity Killed the Kitty

Harry huffed and crossed his arms in indignation. He went and got that 'oh so important' book, and now he isn't even allowed to look at it? His head swiveled as he heard a tapping on his window. When he went to open it, Hedwig flew in. Harry guessed the bird was tired of being away from him. "Hey Hedwig. You're my friend aren't you?" Hedwig nipped at his fingers while he looked for some left over crackers or something to feed him. "I'm sorry Hedwig, things are just kind of crazy right now. But I bet you liked staying at the Weasleys didn't you?" I should send them a letter. Ron and Hermione at least. He figured he would just write to Ron since it would get to Hermione that way too.

Dear Ron,

Things have been kind of crazy lately. Sorry I had to leave without saying goodbye. But somehow I didn't think your mum would be okay with Snape coming over. Eventually I will have to tell her about it of course.

I think he has changed a little. Well not really, he is still a greasy old git. But I don't believe that he was against Dumbledore at all. He was spying on Voldemort. Living here is kind of hectic. I think he may be going crazy. Or maybe I am. I'm not sure anymore.

We may be making some headway though. I can't say much about that. Tell Hermione thanks for the warning. Did anything happen to Fred and George? I hope not.

I really don't know what's up with Snape though. He has probably never been nice to anyone in his whole life. And somehow I don't think he is going to start being nice now. Just letting you know I'm still alive. Maybe I will see you guys again sometime.

Harry Potter

Harry sent Hedwig off again. But it was somehow comforting to know that it wasn't going to be forever. Hedwig will come back. Harry just sat on the edge of his bed and watched his door for a while. Musing over a certain name in his mind. Severus Snape, I will never figure you out will I? I'm really going to have to find a new place to live if I survive all this. Maybe somewhere out in the country. Away from the general population. I don't want to be treated like a hero or the boy-who-lived anymore.

I might even let Snape know where I live. He doesn't treat me like them. That used to bother me. But for some reason, it's what I like about him now. If I can like something about him that is. I don't know. He grows on you I guess. Harry had no idea how long he had been sitting there, but Hedwig was already back. "What do you have there Hedwig?" It can't possibly be a reply already. Hedwig couldn't have been out for more than a few hours. Harry opened the paper and gave Hedwig a snack. He supposed the bird wanted the exercise.

Harry,

I'm glad you are okay. And the thing about Snape is a puzzle. I still don't like him mate. Even if you think he is innocent, he still has some questionable qualities.

Don't pay attention to him Harry. He doesn't know what he is talking about. What you said was perfectly reasonable about Snape. And about it being prearranged between himself and Dumbledore, that is a great possibility. He did do some rather odd things Harry. But he always had good reasons for them.

Fred and George are fine. They didn't have anything mix with the chemicals. The Pipsquittles have been disposed of, if you were worrying about that any. Regarding Snape, I think there is more to him than you think. He is a complex person Harry.

He has trained to hide his thoughts and emotions. I think that he wants to be hated. It's all he has ever known. You know, no one was ever exactly nice to him from what I can tell. Why do you think he came up with all those awful spells? Maybe you should give him a chance, that's all I'm saying. Oh, and after you read this letter, please burn it or something.

Girls…she took up most of the page. But be careful Harry. Let me know if we can help any. There's been a lot of requests for starting DA back up. We gave out some more of those membership coins just incase we can work something out.

Ron

Hermione

Wow, they didn't waste any time in responding. He had to laugh at how they argue even when they are writing letters. Those two were definitely an interesting couple. I'm not sure I know what she meant about giving Snape a chance though. Does she want me to be nicer to him? I'm so lost right now.

Harry laid down on his bed deep in thought. Two things kept running through his head, and he wasn't sure which was scarier. The upcoming war or the fact that he was actually kind of getting along with Snape. The odd thing was, Snape didn't really seem all that different then before. He was sure if they were back at Hogwarts Snape would have already taken several points from his house, and landed him in detention for some absurd reason.

So what did that mean? Was he just more patient with Snape because he needed help for the war? He didn't even want help to begin with. It's something he had been destined to do since he was a baby. Ever since that day Voldemort had unwillingly marked him as an equal. It was never meant to be anyone else's responsibility. And yet his friends were always there for him, ready to go through the worst, just so he wouldn't be going through it alone.

And then there's the fact that Snape showed up without an invitation and demanded that Harry train with him. The same man that had made Hogwarts, one of the best places in the world, a miserable place for Harry at times. Harry rubbed his temples feeling a headache coming on. He wished he could just shut down his brain for a few minutes. Just long enough to rest a little.

He closed his eyes willing on sleep as a last attempt to hush his thoughts. His mind grew fuzzy as his breathing deepened. Caught for some time in between the realms of wake and sleep. Though his thoughts never stopped scurrying around his mind. But they became dull from the fog that would soon become sleep.

xXx

Horcruxes danced around his bed. Harry marveled at how ordinary they appeared. Why choose such ordinary items? His shoelace untied itself and slithered across the bed like a snake. Hissing at him, telling him he was a failure. Harry sat up to find himself in his cupboard. He didn't know why he was there. Uncle Vernon's voice clamored through, telling him that he could never succeed. Harry bellowed back. "Succeed in what?" "Right you are Harry. What indeed."

Harry heard footsteps walking away from his hideaway, with a door slamming after them. A little spider hung from above swaying in the air. It had a long grey beard, and half moon spectacles. It cleared it's tiny spidery throat and said, "choices define who we are."

Harry took his glasses off and wiped them clean with part of his shirt. As he placed them back on, he tried to focus on the spider again, only it wasn't there. He was looking at the rough stone of a wall inside of the Hogwarts castle.

A deep velvety voice came from behind him. "Have you decided yet?" "I'm...I'm sorry, but decided what?" "Who you are." Harry turned around confusedly. "I'm Harry Potter. Didn't you know?" A robe dark as night was in front of him obstructing his view. "Do you?" "What do you mean? Of course I know who I am." Harry looked up defiantly at this person who dared to question him. He saw dark eyes staring right back at him. The velvety voice spoke once again. "Do you know who I am?" Harry shook his head, while gazing into those dark and mysterious eyes. Feeling as if he looked long enough he could see deep down into this man's soul.

"Do you need a hint?" Harry nodded his head. "Very well then. Let's see if this will jog your memory." Harry watched as dark eyes slowly came closer. He stood there transfixed wondering what was going to happen. Both knowing and unknowing. Harry was just about to say that yes, he did know this man. And then warmth crashed across his lips as he fell into the depths of Snape's eyes.

xXx

Harry woke up and pressed his fingers against his lips. It had felt so real in the dream... He took a deep breath, trying to remember the dream in it's entirety. He could remember parts of it, but one part stood out from the rest. Snape had asked him who they were, and then he kissed him... And he had just stood there letting it happen.

Harry closed his eyes, letting the images run rampant in his head. His breathing increased as he was struck by realization. He dreamed about Snape kissing him, and he thought he liked it...

Harry heard a rough knocking on his door as his grogginess faded away. "Come in," he said uncertainly. Snape proceeded into Harry's territory.

"I need to talk to you about these spells Harry. They are somewhat complex, and require me to know a good deal about you. It wont work unless you are willing to work with me. I need to know what you think about me. Honestly." What can he possibly be going on about? How can what I think about him have anything to do with a spell? What do I think about him? I don't know anymore. Especially after that dream...

I never know what to expect from him. I don't want him to leave me, but I can't like him. That can't be right. Out of confusion Harry just began to say, "I hate you…I hate you…I hate you…" It was kind of like a broken record, Harry just couldn't seem to say anything else. Snape took Harry into his arms and softly said, "I know you do." Harry just let it happen.

This was the first time he ever had the chance to get close to Snape without being nearly unconscious. I have to hate him though. How can I not? Why do I like this? Harry wrapped his arms around Snape now, just letting the warmth of Snape's body mingle with his own. "That branch really hurt." "But we have the book now don't we? We can do this Harry. You're just going to have to trust me." Trust, isn't that the key word of the day? Doesn't everyone tell me to trust? Dante…he knew. Dumbledore…he tried to get it through to me. I don't know if anyone intended on me to take it this far though….Ron is going to flip his lid if he finds out about this. Which would be quite amusing really.

xxXXxx

The spell could work. I don't know how far Harry is willing to go though. I don't know how far I'm willing to go. This can't be moral. It's probably more than a little unethical. I admit that the little brat has grown on me. I would never be able to live with myself if something were to happen to him. It's getting really hard to constantly insult him all the time. I think he has noticed this.

He has matured some too after all this time. What am I supposed to do? Why hasn't he broken away from me yet? Maybe he is in shock. Why did I take him into my arms like that? I know why. It's something I've been denying for a very long time. I love him. I never truly realized it until now. I could even feel it when we were out in the rain.

What will Harry think of this? I have to tell him soon. I don't know how much longer we can wait. The war will begin anytime now. "Professor?" Should I tell him now? "Yes?" Oh yes this is working out very well. We are definitely going to win the war if we keep this up. "Don't leave me." I have given up any thoughts of that a long time ago. But still I don't think he fully comprehends the situation. This can change a lot of things.

xxXXxx

I told him not to leave me? It's hard to believe that in the beginning that would have been a dream come true. I used to hate him. Why is he acting so different all of a sudden? Harry absentmindedly noted that Snape's hair had dried all the way now. I wonder if he uses conditioner, it looks so soft. "Let's have a seat, Potter." Harry hadn't noticed it before, but he was still rather tired. Snape led Harry to the living room couch where they sat in silence.

I really don't understand this. His hair really does look soft though. I wonder what it feels like. Maybe I can touch it without him knowing. Snape sat beside Harry in complete silence. There was no way of telling what Snape was thinking at that moment. Harry's hand was halfway there now. Close to that hair that used to look greasy. Potions have a lot of fumes. He makes a lot of potions…So close to finding out. No turning back now. Just a moment and he would know.

Harry could feel Snape's silky hair. It was softer than he imagined. He brushed some of Snape's hair back that had cascaded down on his tired face. "Curiosity was never one of your better traits, Potter." Harry had been so transfixed on Snape's dark locks that he had completely forgotten that Snape might react. "But this time, I think may be an exception." Okay. Just breathe. That is the key. Just breathe. Snape was now facing Harry. But this time, his eyes did not take on a dark and empty appearance. I feel safe with him.

Snape got a little closer to Harry now. Harry's arm had already returned to his side. Snape gently held Harry's face up at an angle and leaned in causing their lips to come in contact for a moment. Snape spoke in a very soft voice. Almost a whisper, saying "I'll never leave you." Harry had a mixture of excitement and relief running through his veins. He had never realized how much his feelings towards Snape had changed. It was an exhilarating experience.

Snape was still very close to Harry. And Harry had no intention of widening that gap. Harry looked up at Snape and said something he felt he had to. "I don't hate you. I couldn't. Not anymore..." Snape smirked, "You are still an arrogant little brat though." Before Harry could retaliate, Snape had already closed the gap between them. Harry wasn't about to complain. It felt great. Snape slowly began to kiss Harry more deeply, letting their tongues intertwine.

Harry felt a warm feeling in his chest, where he was sure his heart must be beating erratically. Is this why my relationships never worked out? Because I'm more attracted to guys then I am to girls? It doesn't matter for the moment. All that matters right now is him. He is the one that I love. I love him? Maybe I do... Harry wrapped his arms around Snape's waist. He seemed to be very slim under all those garments. "Harry, are you sure you are okay with this?" Harry nearly stuttered as he replied, "yes." "You should get some rest." Harry leaned back on the couch.

Harry wondered quietly whether Snape had changed his mind. "Yea, I guess so." Snape started to get up until Harry grabbed his arm. "Wait. Will you stay with me, just for tonight?" Snape smirked. "You aren't going to make a habit out of this are you?" Harry smiled. He truly felt happy. It's been a long time since he has felt that happy. "Only if I have to." The two somehow found a comfortable position to lay on the couch and fell asleep in a sweet embrace. An embrace that would soon be broken by horrific screams out in the streets.