Okay, first thing. Episode 7. Damn. Just damn. I did not expect such a hit in the feels, I mean, I can't help but really feel for Blitzo and Stolas, and all their issues. Brought a tear to my eye. It was nice to see Verosika, again. Even though it was a smaller role, I'll take what I can get, and I can expand more later on. But still, the feels in that episode, am I right? To think there's still more to come in part 2 of the season finale, I simply can't wait for whenever that day comes.
Okay, now moving on.
Finally here.
Truth Seekers.
Even though it took a while before it could be viewed, the waiting was more than worth it after seeing how it all panned out, so kudos to the geniuses behind that fantastic episode. As with past chapters, it's a treat to add Lincoln into the mix and believe, I hope the rest of you will like what I've done, I'm especially proud of it myself. Like I said before, doing renditions of canon episodes can be a lot easier than making all those original ones, but that doesn't mean I want this to be a rush job. Believe me, I am feeling a lot of burnout just from doing all this, so I hope this is all toy your liking and appreciate me wanting some time off from fanfic typing.
Also, I still hope some patience will be kept on the upcoming chapter that will detail how the Louds are faring after the abrupt disappearance of Lincoln, not just them, but also their friends and extended family. Given that there are two more episodes in season 1 of Helluva Boss, I like to think it won't be too long until that poiint.
That alone will require extensive planning.
Disclaimer: I do not own Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel or the Loud House. All properties involved belong to their respective owners.
Enjoy!
It can be very hard to keep track on how long I.M.P have gone up topside to Earth to get some killing business done in no time.
It's become such a norm, one can find that there can't be more than one second without a new Sinner client in Hell hoping that the company of assassins can use their expertise in killing a target that was still human as a means to settle some unfinished business. Each time had the usual end result, this merry band of assassins hunt their mark down, get into a series of hilarious hijinks, cause quite a scene, but manage to succeed in their objective. The was how most jobs would go and what was truly amazing was how they managed to do so without so much of being discovered.
One of Hell's most important rules was that those capable of traveling topside must do so while keeping up appearances in their human disguises at all times. Failure to comply will result in heavy repercussions.
Even though they venture to the living world through less legal means, even I.M.P have to make sure they at least don't break that rule at the same time.
So, it did indeed boggle the mind that for all the ruckus they make, the only known human who knew about their whole operation is their current unpaid intern.
No other human is aware of the whole truth, except, that's not entirely true.
The average human hadn't noticed the odd sight of three imps heavily armed with extreme weaponry. But all those people were just civilians, ordinary people that are easy to evade and avoid. With all the chaos I.M.P caused during their jobs, it was a given that a secret clandestine branch of the government would notice the fact that actual demons from Hell running amok in their world.
In a dark room, a collection of television screens were showing I.M.P in action that the owners managed to get together, recording anything worth of value such as one showing Blitzo at a horse ranch.
"Right there!" Agent One, an adult brown haired male with dark shades, tie, and fancy suit points to Blitzo on one of multiple screens, holding the spell book. The other screens showcased other I.M.P jobs. "This was the first sighting!"
His associate, Agent Two, a blonde female with similar clothing nodded in response. "They're definitely from Hell. They must use this dark magic to cross over into our world." That much they managed to work out, but there were still many burning questions they needed answers to before presenting their case. "And they seem to be killing specifically targeted people. But why?" While many others got caught in the crossfire, it was apparent that with each incident, these demons were after one specific person.
"Not only that, but there's the matter of the kid."
Agent One brought up their biggest head-scratcher; where the human-looking white haired boy that's always seen with the demons fit into all of this. "We sure he ain't one of them?" Two inquired. "Can't say I've ever seen white hair on a kid that ain't dye."
One tapped his chin in deep thought. "He definitely looks like a one Lincoln Albert Loud." he held a folder holding personal files and took out a missing persons' poster with a photo of the kid and the resemblance was uncanny.
"Wait, didn't a previous first lady help deliver a white haired baby?"
"You know I don't keep up with the usual government gossip." One retorts. "Besides, that's not important right now. Months ago, this kid was reported missing by his family after not coming home from school one day and the investigation is still ongoing. It just so happens, that he lived in Royal Woods, Michigan, one of the many locations that these demons popped up in and not long afterwards, wherever they go, he goes. According to some reports, the last person to see him was a certain Mr. Stillman. One of their targets and a person of interest to us." On Stillman's file, were all the photos from various time periods where Stillman was present, but not having aged a day in each. They've been tracking him for some time now, but could never find something concrete.
"What could they find on the body?"
"That's just it. Hours after the search began, local authorities searched the man's house, but only found a broken grandfather clock with nothing but dust underneath it. Stillman was reported missing afterward, but I think we both know they already found him. They just didn't realize it." One said knowingly to Two. "A few personal belongings of his were confiscated, all occult in nature and from the looks of it, seemed to be doing one of those ritual type deals in his basement."
"Kid must have escaped, somehow. But why go along with demons?" Two couldn't wrap her head around that.
"Who knows? They always attack at random. All over the country." Since they started tracking them, the two agents' biggest challenge was determining the next location I.M.P would appear. "There's no way to predict where they'll strike next."
Commotion from outside got their attention and as if a higher power heeded their questions, they peek out and see Blitzo himself dumpster diving, apparently.
"Oh, well. That's convenient." Two pleasantly smirked to an equally pleased One.
Outside, I.M.P had just pulled off another successful kill and were preparing to head back to Hell. Until then, Blitzo ordered them all to conceal themselves in case any other humans were around. If they only knew. "Shh, remember. We can't be seen by any look." Blitzo whispers, slipping into garbage bag, much to the amusement of Millie.
"Pardon my words, sir. But, you're currently being the loudest." Moxxie points out.
Climbing out of the trash, Blitzo harshly whispers to his employee covered in rotting fruits, discarded papers, and other junk discarded by humans. "I said shut your dick sucking lips, Moxxie!" the shorter imp glared at the usual endless insults. Once again, Moxxie finds himself greatly infuriated by his superior's blatant harsh attitude at about every little thing he does, no matter how small.
"Guys!" Lincoln called, having opened up the portal already for Millie to hop into. "Come on." he hands the grimoire over to Loona on the other side.
Well, at least Moxxie will now be able to go home and relax.
"Get down!"
Moxxie yelped after getting tackled by Blitzo who did so to prevent Moxxie from being caught in a net.
I.M.P turned in shock to see Agent One reload his net-launching device for another go at capturing them. Agent Two then swung down from a rope to stand in-between of Lincoln and the portal, armed with a tranquilizing sniper rifle. "What the?! Who're they?!"
Blitzo couldn't afford to answer that question as he too was clueless, but did have time to urgently tell an order to his daughter. "Loona! Close it!"
Both Loona and Millie were aghast at what Blitzo just said. "W-What?" Loona asked with uncertainty, gazing at Lincoln as closing the portal would mean leaving him.
"Just do it!"
Millie shoved Loona out of her path, trying in vain to go back out and grab her boys, but it was too late.
"Wait, no!"
The portal was instantly closed.
Moxxie didn't know who these two were, but they just made a big mistake.
No one gets between him and his Millie.
"Lincoln, come on!"
Eyes flashing red, Lincoln mimicked Moxxie's evasion maneuvers to dodge all the nets. Amazing what some acrobatic training from Millie will do for you and right now, Lincoln was thankful for it. Moxxie lands gracefully and turns to fire his pistol at the agents, but was hit by a tranquilizer dart. His entire body went numb and limp, head filled with incoherent thoughts that made him a sputtering mess. Seeing that enraged Lincoln and used his revolver to carefully shoot the scope of the rifle, but in his rage, got himself get hit by a dart himself. "Moxxie! Lincoln!" Blitzo shouts in distress. Getting into action, Blitzo throws a trash lid at One before he could fire more nets, he picks up both of his employees and uses Moxxie's body to hit Two into the trash. Both agents recovered and chased after them.
"I smell...colors?" Moxxie slurred.
"They taste so pretty..." Lincoln adds.
Blitzo stops once he sees that they were at a dead end and the agents caught up with them, but this imp wasn't going down without a fight. "Back off, you tuxedo wearing fucks!" he warns, flashing his flintlock.
But, the agents were hardly deterred as One prepared his weapon's other setting and was quicker than Blitzo on the trigger. He, Moxxie, and Lincoln were blasted by a shock blast that immobilized them to the ground. The last thing Blitzo could see before succumbing to the darkness were the two triumphant agents being mighty proud of their accomplishment.
"Heh-Heh!" One chuclkes while adjusting his tie. "I'd like to see the suits in corporate call us losers now! That was pretty badass."
Two wholeheartedly agrees. "Super badass!"
Now, the only hope left were two very concerned demon ladies.
It all happened so fast.
One moment, they were wrapping up another job, but then came those two suits with advanced weaponry that forced them to be separated.
She was safe in Hell, but she couldn't say the same for the guys.
Her boss.
The love of her life.
And of course, her baby.
The anger she felt knew no bounds. It was the same kind of fury that coursed through her veins when Striker attacked them and she pours out all her anger out by punching the wall where the portal closed on her repeatedly while giving off feral screams of anguish. She barely gave a damn that it hurt like a son of a bitch, it didn't compare to the pain of the prospect of losing her boys, and gradually, the punches stop and tears stream down her face as she collapses to her knees in despair. "Shit!" she cries. "Shit, shit, shit!" she gave out anguished whimpers.
Loona was also greatly sorrowful and regretful, not believing that she actually closed the portal, not just on the imps, but on Lincoln.
He was her friend, her brother, and she closed it.
All that she could do was to put aside her sad whimpering and at least make some attempt to console Millie. "You, uh...?" It was so hard to give comfort to a coworker she hadn't gotten along with in the past. "...you okay there?" she slowly reaches out, pulls back when Millie faces her with desperation.
"What're you doing sittin' there?!" Millie incredulously asks, motioning to the grimoire on the floor. "The boys are in trouble! Our boys! Open it again!" she demands.
One way or another, she was getting her family back, and the stupid assholes that thought they could get away with breaking up that family were gonna be taught one hell of a lesson, paying the price in blood and severed heads.
Loona understood how Millie felt, she wanted to help out Lincoln, Blitzo, and Moxxie, too, if it'll calm Millie down. But, there was a system in place of this kind of problem and Blitzo had set a clear set of instructions on what to do and not do. "Look, I feel you, but you heard Blitz. He used a total of zero euphemisms, innuendos, or swears." All things that are commonplace in how her boss/adoptive father's mannerisms, except for what happened in the alleyway. "That means I don't open it, until-"
But, Millie could care less about it.
"Open the fucking portal now!" she roared in the hellhound's face, pulling her to eye level by the collar.
"Look, Blitz can take care of himself, even your boy toy. And I'm sure Linc's come up with one of his convoluted, but well thought-out plans that needs a smaller operation name to get them out of this by now." Loona couldn't even believe her own words.
"Loona, please!" Millie's scowl twisted into an imploring frown, more tears coming down. "Our boss. Your daddy. My Moxxie and Lincoln, my baby..." her lips quivered and just wanted them back home with her.
This wasn't a family.
Just a company.
That's what Moxxie said.
One of the few things Loona agreed on with him, then why the shit are there moments where it really does feel like a damn family?!
First things first.
They needed to get their shit together. Going in half-cocked against an enemy they don't know anything about is about the worst plan they could think of, so they stock-piled a whole lot of weapons that somehow could fit inside Blitzo's emergency bag. Some would call it overkill, but humans not only managed to spot them, but also took some of their own captive, so they were going all out. Millie prepped herself up with a battle axe and Loona transformed into her human disguise to make it easier to search without being uncovered by more humans.
With the grimoire, Loona opens a new portal to Earth to the same alleyway where Agents One and Two captured their friends. Millie jumps through with heated fury. She was ready for a fight, but the alley was empty, they were long gone by now.
"They aren't here!" Dropping the axe, Millie was about ready to cry again, until Loona picked her up and took a sniff of the ground for the guys' scents.
Luckily, Loona found a trace and if she put in a lot of leg work, it won't take long to find them. "It smells like they went this way." the disguised hellhound puts Millie inside the bag and picks up the axe to hand it to the female imp. "Come one, let's find the dumbass twins and our boy."
Without wasting anymore time, she ran quickly. "Loona..." Millie addressed. "Do you think they're okay?"
Loona frowns, contemplating. "Yeah, of course...they gotta be..."
Lincoln felt everything in his system do a complete shutdown, same with Moxxie and as such, the effect of those darts caused them to be unconscious for a considerate amount of time. Eyes blinking open slowly, Lincoln had to shake his head to clear his head a little and finally coming to, he gasps once he sees that he was restrained to a chair and the imps also tied to separate chairs, and both of their tails were chained to a metal ball. Blitzo was the only one among the three that remained conscious as Agents One and Two shone a light on them to begin the interrogation.
"Finally awake, huh, little fella?" Two said to Moxxie. "Your partner has been for a while now."
The bad cop routine had zero affect on Blitzo.
"Look, shit-bag. It takes a lotto keep me down, alright? That, and back in my college days before dropping out, I took a fuck ton of tranq darts." Blitzo calmly informs her, crossing his legs. "Hell, I've been strapped nipple-first to a car battery, so I-little bright there!" Blitzo hissed at the light being shone on him by One.
"Tell us, demon scum! Who sent you here? Satan?" One questioned heatedly.
Agent Two continued the questioning from there.
"How did you get here from the afterlife?"
"Why are you killing so many humans?!"
"When did you show up here?!"
"What's the kid got do with all this? You kidnap him?"
"Maybe you are replacing human children with your own demon spawn to trick us?!"
"Is he really the same Lincoln Albert Loud who disappeared?!"
"Have you been taking more missing humans?!"
"Thus some part of secret plan or-"
Lincoln halted any more interrogation, all the constant questioning was getting to him and his coworkers. "Hold it!" Both agents were swiftly silenced by Lincoln's shout. "Can you give us a second to speak for ourselves? My god, you two just keep going on and on about way off-base theories and conspiracies and...this is starting to feel like a huge eye opener for me." He makes a mental note to maybe get a better handle on his own paranoia and overthinking, recalling on past conclusions he's made out of his overworked imagination. "Look, I know how this looks, but these two aren't bad guys." Blitzo raises an eyebrow. "...not at heart..." Lincoln got more looks. "...when you get to know them, they're pretty alright. Just don't think they did anything bad to me. I hate when that happens."
"Egad!" One gaped dramatically. "They must have gotten to him somehow!"
"That, or he isn't the real Lincoln Albert Loud at all!"
Blitzo snorted. "Albert? That's your middle name?" he teased.
"It's my grandfather's name, alright?" Lincoln defended, not ashamed. "Lay off. It was either that or Marie, like all my sisters."
"All of your sisters' middle names are Marie?" Blitzo surmised, baffled. "Fucking Christ, kid, are your parents the most unoriginal humans alive or what? Bland enough that they name all their kids that start with "L", are their own names basic, too? Like Leroy and Lena?"
"For your information, Blitz. My mom's name is Rita and my dad...well, his name is Lynn." If Lincoln could scratch his nape, he could. "Lynn Sr. actually. My sister, Lynn was named after him-"
"Ha! So, I win!"
"Blitz, this isn't a contest!"
"But if it were, I'd be winning!"
"Hey! We ain't playing games here, alright?!" One peered closer at Blitzo with a finger. "We got questions that only you and your little friend here can answer, so start playing nice or we may have to get ugly!"
"And believe us, we will!" Two supported her partner.
They talked a big game, but they underestimate how unfettered Blitzo was, and the best way to counteract their interrogation was some good fun fucking around to endlessly frustrate them. "Okay, let me cut in, bitch. First of all, we're up and about after a very nasty shock, and I'm still fucking woozy. So, mind getting us some coffee before we get into this. I mean, is coffee not always a thing in shitty movies scenes like this, am I right?"
Lincoln stifles a laugh. "You're not wrong there."
"Thanks, Lincoln. I want something iced, bitch. What about you, kid?"
Knowing where his boss was going, Lincoln plays along. "A nice soda will be just fine. But I am trying to like coffee some more, so maybe decaf if you have it."
"Mox?"
Whether Moxxie knew about Blitzo's ploy or not, the music-loving imp played his part.
To vastly annoying levels.
"If it's all the same to you, I'll just have a Neopolitan cappucino, more "cappu" than "cino". Make sure it's got no more than at least four ounces of milk, the beans won't have the right texture otherwise, and be sure they spell my name correctly on the cup. For some reason, it's always "Foxy" or "Roxy", and I hate that." No more than how much the agents were hating the unnecessarily tall order Moxxie was placing. Even his co-workers found it way too taxing. Blitzo had sympathies to whatever barista has had to deal with Moxxie as a customer and the people waiting in line until he was done. "If that's too much, I'll settle for a Venti traditional Misto. Please try to use soy milk with two blonde shots Affogato and Ristretto!" he points his foot at Agent Two who felt like pulling her ears off. "Of course, I can't forget three vanilla pumps at the very bottom. Then, add the coffee after, then-"
"Enough!" One exclaimed, any more and his head will explode. "No one's getting coffee!"
For once, Blitzo had to give props to Moxxie for his superb annoying skills there. "Wow, that actually gave me massive douche chills just there, Mox. Not bad." he praised with an impressed smirk.
"If we have to, we are willing to resort to torture methods to get answers out of you nasty hell beasts!" Two warns the imps.
Real tough, but Moxxie still had some douche skill in him. "Can you be more specific? By "torture", are we talking physical or psychological?" Plus, there were a lot of holes to point out in that idea. "Physical can often be counterproductive. We'd like to tell you anything if it meant an end to the pain, but then you would have no way of knowing what was true."
"We might even end up liking it too much." Blitzo cracked. "And you'll have a whole new thing to deal with."
"What do you mean by that?" One inquired.
"Oh, not too bright, huh?" Blitzo playfully teases. "Hey, I'm not picky. Daddy likey Dummy." he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.
Lincoln and Moxxie moved around onn their chairs, neither could contain their laughter.
"Okay, okay! Stop, Bltz! It's too much!"
"Good one, sir! Daddy likey-"
One and Two found no humor in the jokes. Their endless laughing reminded them of how all the other super cool government agencies constantly ridiculed and poked fun at them for the main mission of their entire organization.
"You better quit laughing at us!" Two yells.
One grabs Blitzo and screams at him. "Yeah! You ought to be begging for mercy!"
Moxxie explained why they can't help but mock the two sub-par agents through his smug grin. "I get it, we're the prisoners, but it's hard not to. I'm really sorry." He knows they're trying their best, but come on, these clown are just so easy to rile up. "I mean, taking into account your approach thus far, you've had us tied here for I'm thinking hours and you haven't even had us confirm what exactly we are!"
Two leans downward with curiosity. "What are you?"
"A Virgo."
Blitzo never thought he'd get so many laughs from Moxxie killing it with his own set of jokes.
One and Two weren't in the mood for jokes once One tossed Blitzo back to his chair. "Oh, a smart guy, eh?"
"One more quip and we'll shut you up!" Two warns them.
But, that sounded alright to Blitzo. "Ooh, getting kinky now, are we?!"
The agents recoiled in disgust. "What?! We're not playing any of your vile demon kinks!"
"I mean, that's what it sounded like, you sickos!" Blitzo taunted.
Moxxie giggles. "Come now, don't give them ideas, sir." he jokingly pleads.
"Why not? I know the shit you're into." This was so much fun that Blitzo couldn't resist some cracks at Moxxie.
"Sir! Not in front of Lincoln!"
One plugs his ears to stop hearing more of this, the demons were supposed to be ones suffering, not them. "Stop! We would never get kinky with you!"
"Calm down, One!" Two attempted to calm her partner down. "Don't let these monsters rile you up!"
Unfortunately for Agent One, that was way too easy for Blitzo to do. "Hey, can you get us a phone call, bitch?"
One saw this as an opportunity to pry further into proving that the two irritating little rascals were genuine demons from Hell, and pay them back for their wisecracks at them, it was the only way their agency would finally get the recognition it deserved. "Well, that really depends." he smugly says. "Who're you gonna call? Hmm?"
"No one special. Just your fat mom." Blitzo cruelly retorts. "I wanna give my thanks to her for a fat time!"
Now that remark was cruel.
Not just because of how personal that jab was, but also of one little fact Two pointed out to Blitzo. "Afraid you're out of luck, demon! As it happens, his fat mom is dead!" Two counters, being reminded of that drove One to tears.
"I wouldn't count that as a point for you guys." Lincoln said, sending sympathies to the grieving agent. "Super sorry about that, by the way."
"Don't apologize to them, bud. They're piss-buckets who have no clue who they're messing with." Blitzo chortles. "And one of them has a fucking dead mom! I'm sorry, I just can't help myself!"
What all the jabs will help is them by buying themselves more time until their rescue comes in.
The rescue team comprising of Millie and Loona eventually found their way to where Loona followed the scent of the boys and it was at a heavily fortified and guarded government building owned by the agents of the group that's all about the investigation of the supernatural. A clandestine secretive group known by the sole moniker that is D.H.O.R.K.S.
"Who names their group that?" Loona asked. The acronym for this group of secret demon-hunting agents is literally D.H.O.R.K.S.
It can only be assumed that all the other cool-sounding acronyms were taken, or they were trying way too hard to come up with a clever long-sounding name for their organization. Whatever the case, these guys are who took the guys captive and at the very least, they were equipped with katana blades, chain sickles, spears, shurikens, sais, and so on, but no guns. Their only arsenal seems to only be comprised of weapons originating from Japan's feudal period and no signs of firearms on their persons, which didn't help their image.
At least it can be inferred that they're competent enough to be skilled and trained with those weapons.
"Is this really where they ended up?" Millie asked, looking over Loona's head inside the bag.
The Helhound made sure they weren't seen. "The only place I could find." Loona's nose never failed her before. Taking note of the guards, searchlights and cameras at the entrance, getting inside won't be easy in the slightest. "Fuck, this looks intense than I expected, just how're we gonna get in?"
Millie look upwards and brightens up with an idea. "Lift me up there, to that vent." she instructs Loona.
Loona raises her arm to allow Millie to climb high enough to tear the vent entrance off and crawl inside.
With remarkable time, she manages to get inside and unlock the door right beside Loona and the two raced through the hallways of the building, looking for any sign of their wayward compatriots. When they passed by agents who were standing on guard, Loona tip-toed her way to not arouse their suspicions, and so far, it seemed to have worked out great for them.
Unfortunately, they were caught on one camera and the agent that was watching its video security feed spat out his coffee in shock and wasted no time in pushing the button meant to sound the alarm for intruders, disregarding the outraged look of his fellow agent who was splashed by the coffee liquids.
Loona comes to an abrupt halt once she and Millie see a squad of agents standing in their way with swords, sais, spears, and nunchucks.
One agent swung his spear only for Loona to duck and launched the axe at his leg. Millie offered cover fire with her dual pistols. Loona threw the axe at an agent, Millie got out of the bag and climbed up to grab the axe to attack more and avoided a sword strike meant for her. Despite their issues, the two girls surprisingly worked well together. Loona attempted a flying jumping kick at the agent with nunchucks, but he moved to the side. The agent tried hitting her, but she jumped forward and bent backwards to avoid getting hit by a thrown chain sickle, that instead killed nunchucks, which served Loona and Millie quite well. Millie cracked one's neck while standing on the axe's handle.
Loona grabs her by the arm and runs.
More agents were blocking them, one pressing a button to cut them off with a steel door and the other two ready to launch shurikens at them to delay the lady demons.
Their aim was evidently poor as the two female I.M.P employees prevented themselves from being hit, but they saw that steel door coming down.
"Throw me! Now!" Millie exclaims to the receptionist.
Usually, Loona would only listen to Blitzo, and Lincoln as she's come to trust his judgment, but circumstances requested that she complies.
Millie rolls on the ground before getting to the other side of the room just before the blast door completes its descent.
Loona blinked with eyes wide as she heard fighting noises that involved the unbridled fury of a pissed off lady imp. With her work done, Millie pressed the button to raise the blast door up, revealing there were no more hindrances to their mission. She hung her axe on her shoulder as Loona saw her handiwork.
"Damn. For an old lady, you're pretty agile." Loona teasingly complimented.
"For your information, I'm five years older than you." Millie snapped back.
Out of all the agents that were murdered by Millie, only one was still alive, he was severely injured, but he was alive, albeit barely. "Need...help..." he groans, trying to call for backup, but screams when his radio was shot off by Millie's gun and she pointed the axe's against him.
"Listen well and listen good, you no-good shades wearin' son of a bitch!" Millie bares her teeth and murderous scowl. "I left you alive, that wasn't an accident! Tell us where you're keeping the best boss in the world, and my sweet gentle Mox-Mox, and the kindest sweetest miracle that ever fell on mine and my hubby's laps!"
It was impressive that he was resilient. "P-Policy states that I don't-"
Millie swung the axe. "Wrong answer!"
"Hey Save it for the rescue." Loona told her, though understood Millie. "We still got a lot of ground to cover. Come on!"
They leave before more agents arrived.
What was intended to be a harsh interrogation to get Blitzo and Moxxie to sing and air out all their dirty laundry to get all the required proof they can present to finally be taken seriously by all the other government groups is now anything but. Thanks mostly in part to Blitzo and Moxxie's continuous jabbing at them and they just loved how much they set the two agents off.
"Stop bringing my mother into this!" Agent One cried to the grinning Blitzo who stuck his tongue out at him. "She's dead!"
Two settles him down with some soothing pats on the shoulder. "Hey, hey. Cool it, alright? Don't you see you're playing right into their hands? We won't get anywhere with them if we let ourselves fall for their demon tricks."
"Take my word for it, sister. I'm not even pulling out the really sweet material." Blitzo said, enjoying himself. "Besides, it's not like you clowns were getting anywhere to begin with. This is way more fun for us than it should've been and it's your own fault for sucking so much."
"Laugh while you still can, demon." Two spat, as she and One moved Lincoln's chair away from them. "We'll get our answers out of you and break whatever hold you got over the kid here."
"Don't oversell it, he's the unpaid intern." Blitzo rolled his eyes. "Nothing like some binding deal that causes him nothing but trouble."
Lincoln deadpans. "Is there really a difference?"
"Ha! Okay, I'll give you that one, kid."
Two whispers to Lincoln. "Out with it then. Can you confirm that you were forcefully taken by these horrendous pack of Hell spawn and are forced to suffer unspeakable amounts of hard labor?" she asked.
One brought up the other outlandish theory. "Or, are you in fact, a demon Hell spawn yourself. Taking the guise of the real Lincoln Albert Loud, who as we speak is currently slaving away with other kidnapped children in the dirty pits these two crawled out of?"
Lincoln looked between the agents in disbelief. "I mean. You two hear yourselves, right?"
"Come on, give us something here." Two pleaded. "If you help us out, we can help you out. You got a family worried back home, right? Say the word and you'll be there in no time."
"Assuming you are who you appear to be." One clarified.
"If you guys aren't even sure of who I am, what guarantee do I have that you'll actually honor your part of the deal?"
Lincoln would love nothing else more than to see his family again, but he's come to realize that he can't really do so at the moment, due to the whole curse thing with his soul being linked to literal Hell and all the demons, stuff that would no doubt blow their minds and he's not willing to risk that. Additionally, he didn't trust these agents in the slightest.
"You don't, but that's a risk we're willing to take!" One obliviously looked at Two facepalming herself. "What?"
"Who are exactly are you guys anyway?" Lincoln felt that he needed some answers. "Are you really with the government? Because, I can't remember ever hearing about guys like you before."
"That's because officially speaking, we don't exist." Two adjusted her shades in a serious fashion. "But if we did, we'd be the governments answer to all those that go bump in the night. We hunt down and learn the origin of these supernatural threats, so we can put a stop to it at its source. A lot of manpower is put into investigating and researching any possible demon-related phenomena the best we way we can."
"Woah..." Lincoln breathed a little in awe, that all sounds like a recurring fantasy he's had growing up. "So, the government knows about all that stuff."
One deflated. "...Well, no, actually. We're not exactly...well-funded, mostly getting washouts and not that much equipment from funding. We only make enough to be the only two agents with the gadgets used to capture youse and the only ones allowed to have firearms."
If Blitzo didn't find them pathetic before, he certainly does now, and he's loving it. "Haha! So, wait. You're saying you ding-dongs are the company guys that get laughed at and pushed around, aren't you?! You're hapless demon hunters who probably didn't get enough action until now! No wonder you suck at this whole interrogation thing, I mean, I have no boner whatsoever! The company crybabies! The losers that no one believes at all!"
One bares his gritted teeth. "Yeah? Well, that's all gonna change once we get all your dirty laundry, you damn heathen! After tonight, ain't no one will ever call us conspiracy nuts ever again! Hell, we might even get some snazzy new tech from science heads like that wiz-kid prodigy from Michigan! Mark our words, we're gonna find out what you have and why you have the kid! Can only be something bad if you have carry around that gun we confiscated!"
Okay, so these guys obviously just want to prove themselves to their peers by any means necessary.
That made Lincoln less sympathetic.
But Agent One mentioning the revolver reminded Lincoln that it wasn't the only weapon he had. Before all this insanity went down, he remembered Moxxie and Millie teaching him that should he ever be captured, it will always pay to have a concealed weapon to either attack, or break free from his restraints. Shimmying his right arm, he felt his knife fall down his sleeve and he catches the handle, then begins using it to cut the ropes. Moxxie sees what he was doing and opts to assist him by making sure the agents don't catch him in the act. He nudges Blitzo who arches an outraged eyebrow before seeing what Moxxie was gesturing to and understood the ploy. "Aiming pretty high there, champ. But with your all around very poor way of doing things, I wouldn't push my luck if I were you."
"What was that?! Make another joke about our incompetence again! I dare you!"
"You know what? Nah. You asking me to air out your bad qualities for all to hear and judge takes some of the joy out of it."
Lincoln successfully cuts the ropes off him and he looks to his coworkers, contemplating whether he should attack the agents. Moxxie shakes his head sternly and nods to the exit doors, but Lincoln was hesitant. An assured smile and silent promise from Moxxie was enough to make Lincoln quietly walk to the door and walk out before the doors shit very loudly.
One and Two heard this and saw the cut ropes on the floor. "He's gone? He's gone!" One exclaims, panicked just like Two.
"Uh-oh. Some a-holes are in trouble~!" Blitzo sang.
"Why you dirty-!"
"That's enough, One!" Two prevented him from doing anything that would only make things more messed up for them. "Let's just leave them here until they feel like talking." she leads him out of the room with a suspicious eye on the imps.
With them gone, Blitzo struggles to break free himself, but to no avail. Sighing in resignation, Blitzo still tries to keep both his and Moxxie's spirits up with some encouraging words. "Don't worry about a thing, Mox. So long as we keep being obnoxious, they'll slip up, giving us a chance to get out like Lincoln. Let's just keep make fun of their shit flaws until they get so frustrated, they stop thinking clearly. It usually works."
Unknown to both of them, they were being monitored by One and Two through a one-way mirror.
"Mmm, so these demons like to play games?" One shares a conniving smirk with his partner. "Well, if he insists."
Snickering, Two slammed a button on the panel. "Yeah. But what about the kid? He made it to the vents." she points to the open entrance through the ventilation shaft.
One rubs his chin in deep thought. "Did the techie guys install the truth gas into them?"
"Yeah, but are you really sure? We got no clue on how it affects humans."
"Assuming that kid's human to begin with." One countered coldly. "It should make him woozy enough to make it easy for the guys to bring him back. This is the job, Two. We gotta live with it. For now, let's just enjoy the show."
Back with the imps, Moxxie made it known that his concern was more on his wife at the moment. "I want to believe you, but I just hope Millie's fine. She's probably here by now now, I'm sure." He has no idea what she was in for, and that scared him. "And what about Lincoln? He got out, but how long until they recapture him?"
Blitzo groans at this, though, feeling his fears were unwarranted. "Ugh, our Millie'll be okay, Moxxie. These guys would need A zoo of 'roided up hippos if they want any chance of taking her down when she's pissed." Even then, that still wouldn't be enough. "And Linc's a crafty little rascal, you of all people should know that. We taught him enough to make it out of here, meet up with Mills and get us out."
"I get that, but sir, this is the first time involving the human government." Moxxie reasonably pointed out. This was an entirely new ball game and for all the dumb luck that got them out of scraps before, this time around, it may not serve them good. "They're both in danger!" he shouts, both unaware of the green gas that started to fill the room.
His worrying over his wife and kid they both basically adopted, ticking off the taller imp.
Blitzo gets it, he loves them and the feeling is very mutual, but damn it, did it just burn Blitzo up. it's not exactly a guarded secret on how much Moxxie and Millie love each other, so maybe they should stop flaunting it about.
"Do I honestly have to beg for you to shut up about Millie and Lincoln?!" Blitzo asked in exasperation. "It's always, 'oh, where's Millie? I can't do anything fun tonight, I'm so worried about Millie.' That's you when she's only five fucking feet away from you! Don't even get me started in how much of a helicopter daddy you've been, thinking that Linc needs to be protected. You think I don't understand, but I do! What pisses me off is how you still haven't accepted the fact that you're practically his dad now and it's pathetic!"
"...That was oddly deep." Moxxie noted. It hurt, but he never expected such a tirade from Blitzo when it comes to personal feelings.
Blitzo realizes that it was indeed out of character for him. "Yeah...yeah, it was. Why fuck did I just let my guts spill like that?"
Moxxie observed the room around them and froze up when he saw the green gas. "Sir, we may have a situation!" he direly said, raising his legs.
Blitzo hissed at the stench. "Fuck! The hell are they trying now?!"
"Can't be sure, but it looks like some kind of airborne truth telling serum?" Moxxie correctly guessed, judging from his previous rant. Stuff like that is what most people would only keep deep inside to themselves.
Still, Blitzo couldn't hide how annoyed he was by the know-it-all fashion Moxxie used. "Really? That was just a guess?""
Proof will be required. "That's just how I see it. I thought it was obvious. Why not just ask me something that I'd never be open about to make sure?"
"Okay, this has been nagging me since spring break..." Blitzo asked a question that's been on his mind for a long while now. "Moxxie, does Millie ever peg you?"
"Sometimes." Moxxie admitted with a bashful smile and blush before gagging at the very invasive question. "Wait! Gross! Fuck! There were other questions! Why did it have to be that one?" He was so glad Lincoln wasn't present.
Blitzo smugly laughed. "Ha! Called it! By the way, you see Lincoln as your son?"
"As a matter of fact, at first, I felt it was rude of me take on a paternal role since as stated before, he's not an orphan. But as time passed and we began to get closer, I can't say I don't envy Mr. Loud for having such a bright lad like Lincoln for a son. With recent days, I'm actually beginning to come around to...will you stop it, sir?!" Moxxie flushes.
"Hey, at least you're right about the truth gas, Mox. Take some pride in that."
"At least I'm not the one wearing a tacky suit!" Moxxie instantly regrets it. "Fuck, I'm so sorry!"
Blitzo gasps dramatically, aghast by what he just said. "How fucking dare you, Mox?! You've always had a shitty taste in music-ah! Sorry you had to hear that!" Even for Blitzo, that was way out of line for him, knowing full well how sensitive Moxxie is about what he enjoys.
"Shit taste? Me?" Moxxie repeats, tears swelling up. "But, didn't you say you liked that musical I recommended?"
Blitzo couldn't resist the effects of the truth gas. "That was a lie! I ended up leaving halfway through! I couldn't take it anymore!"
"You-You told me to my face that you loved it!"
Hearing the awful truth and saying drove them both to tears.
"It was just so awful, Moxxie! Who'd like one about ugly horny cats!" Blitzo and Moxxie sobbed uncontrollably under the sad reality of things. "Oh, god, Moxxie The lies I've told you are endless!"
For One and Two, this was too good of a show. "We're due for a good night." Two said, and what show would be complete without popcorn and soda?
If they think this was a sight, they should see how the gas was affecting Lincoln.
"Ugh! What the heck?!"
After making his escape from interrogation, Lincoln made his way into the air vents before Agents One and Two could know it. While crawling through the tight space, Lincoln weighed his options and figured he needs to at least escape wherever this place is, find Millie and get the guys out as well. But then, out of nowhere, some weird green gas was released in the vents and he coughs wildly after breathing it in. It wasn't knockout gas, since he was still conscious, and he didn't feel any other side effects, but he should still be on his toes.
Figuratively speaking, of course.
"Got word from One and Two."
Chatter got his attention from outside and listens in as a cadre of agents gather around.
"We are to hunt for a white haired middle schooler who could very well be a demon under the guise of a white-haired middle schooler." A bald agent told them, holding his sword in its sheath until the need arises. "We'll have to put this on top priority in addition to those two intruders that have already terminated many other agents in a gorey uninhibited fashion."
"Seems like a lot for just one kid." a second agent whispers to a third.
"Don't over-analyze this whole deal, new guy." the third whispered. "We hardly get paid enough as it is."
"You guys get paid?"
The lead agent barked at them to zip their lips and focus on the task at hand. "Cut the crap chatter there! You have your assignments, so go do them already! Radio in for any backup should it's need and not for a bathroom break or snack break! Toilets are still clogged like a motherfucker and they've yet to re-fill the snacks in the break-room. You'll have to make due with coffee breaks. But don't have go overboard like in the last company picnic." he and all agents turned to the agent guilty of that and tries evading their gazes.
"When are you guys gonna let that go?!"
"Move out!"
The bald agent stuck behind as the others ran to other areas of the building. "I have prepared for this day." he silently says to himself, speaking with utmost seriousness with a hard grip on the katana's handle. "All my training, all those years of preparing my mind and soul have all led up to this very moment, and nothing shall stand in my way, I am prepared for any-OOF!"
A panel fell down and bonked him on the head.
He gurgles incoherently before fainting to the ground with a loud thud.
Lincoln jumps down from the vents and inspects his handiwork. "Sorry about that. But I really wanna get out of here." Lincoln searches the slumbering agent for any weapons and only found throwing stars and kunais. "Seriously? No guns or anything? I get that this stuff looks cool, but come on. Where's the practicality? God, this place just keeps feeling terrible. I'd definitely feel better if Verosika were here and she was hugging me close to her-OOP!" he slaps his hands to his mouth before he could finish that sentence, blushing furiously. "Why did I just say that?"
"Guh..." the agent groans.
"I'm gonna take that as you not hearing it. Maybe I'm just tired. Yeah, that's it. Not the good kind of tired after how good it felt when she and her gal pals kissed my face all over-what is going on with me tonight?!"
Questions for later.
Right now, he needs to get out.
From the sound of things, it looks like a rescue is on its way, but he needs to be absolutely sure it's who he sincerely hopes it is. He pokes around to find anything useful that would aid in his aim for a complete escape. A few agents were observing security cameras and that would no doubt help him, but he doesn't want to attract more attention by attacking, so this required some more careful planning.
"Hey, did you get a memo about the new protocols?" One of the observing agents asks.
"Memo? What memo?"
A radio turns on and Lincoln's voice was heard and it sounded like a trucker's tone. "Breaker, breaker. Uh...one of the new temps came back with the takeout food we ordered."
Both agents gasp.
"It's an alpha-tang-bravo-omega!"
"Really? Don't you mean sigma-beta-tau-delta?"
"I don't keep track of all these damn codes, man! Let's roll! You don't ever want to miss this!"
Surprisingly, that ploy worked and Lincoln knew that radio he took from the agent he knocked out was a good move. "Gotta be a way to an exit on this." Lincoln climbs onto the chair and sees all the video screens, he stops and smiles widely once he sees two familiar people. A fiery female imp and a punk goth girl that was used as a disguise for his favorite company receptionist. "Millie! I knew she'd come for us! And she brought Loona and the grimoire, too! Okay, new plan!" he gets off the chair. "Regroup with them, rescue Moxxie and Blitzo, use book to open a portal back to the office. Short, simple, but first, I need a drink." he pours himself a cup of water from a nearby barrel, he suddenly felt a little parched. "Okay, now I-woah..." Just as he took his next step, Lincoln's footing wavers and he drop the cup. Everything just started to feel woozy, and his head felt light. "What's going-GAH!" That lightness erupted into a throbbing pain that made him grab his head and groan out painfully, dropping to his knees and feeling every part of his body on fire.
"You hear something?"
"Come this way!"
Hearing agents' voices, Lincoln quickly made himself scarce, but couldn't stop the pain in his head. It's like all a part of it just began to shut down...but not his entire mind, something else felt like taking the reigns.
Something...he's felt before.
Before he knew it, his sight began to alter in an odd way. The setting around him dissipated as if it weren't there to begin with and he found that the hard surface his hands were on felt like...grass?
"What is this...?" He's outside.
"Need a hand, lame-o?"
His head shoots upright and gasps softly at the hand reached out to him, and the biggest surprise came when he saw who it belonged to.
"...Ronnie Anne?"
Blitzo and Moxxie had no success in getting themselves free from their restraints like Lincoln did and the gas that compels them to say nothing but the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth didn't improve matters. It was even starting to make them see things that weren't really there, showing that the gas had a form of hallucinogenic effect as well. Blitzo couldn't believe it all went to shit after a job, and couldn't believe two humans caught him.
All he can do was pin the blame on the only other imp in the room.
"Damn it, Moxxie! As usual, this is your fault!" he barked.
"My fault? My fault?!" Moxxies outrageously repeated. "How am I to blame for any of this?! No, here's a better question, isn't it funny how with every screw-up or unfortunate circumstance that befalls us, it's always gotta be someone else but you, sir?! As if it's somehow impossible that you can mess up just as bad as I can! In the circumstances where it really is my fault, I actually accept it and apologize!"
"And what exactly are you trying to say?!"
"I'm saying is that most good employers would take responsibility for their own shortcomings and their own mistakes! As you like to remind me, you're the boss! All this is because of a profession you concocted yourself, so maybe think on who's truly to blame! Maybe then things like this can never happen again! So that my wife and our son wouldn't have to risk their lives! But, noooo, just make me out to be your fall guy! It wouldn't kill you to spin it around once in a while!"
"Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you? Also, I heard you call Lincoln your son! You just proved me right!"
"I just want you to for being an impulsive buffoon for once. Yes, I-" Moxxie stopped his tirade once his eyes blinked. "Uh, do you feel tired?"
"Yeah..." Blitzo shook his head. "Feels like I ran in a fucking marathon, I'm gonna go to sleep now."
"Likewise."
Lincoln believed it just wasn't possible.
He never imagined seeing her again.
Yet, there she was.
Ronalda Anne Santiago.
One his best friends.
A girl Lincoln Loud cares for in ways that transcend a simple friendship even when he would deny it. "Ronnie Anne...I...I..."
"What's up, Linc? You gonna lay there all day?" Ronnie Anne chuckles, still holding out her hand. Staring agape, Lincoln numbly reaches out and she helps him stand up, and he quickly grabs her by the shoulders.
"R-Ronnie Anne! Y-You're here!" Lincoln couldn't believe it, but there she was, standing right in front of him. Did the the agents capture her too?! How did she even know he was there?! "I don't believe it..."
"Whoa, cool down, alright?" Ronnie Anne smiles. "I get that you miss me being in Royal Woods after I moved with Bobby and our mom, but come on, Great Lakes is only three hours away. You don't see me freaking out when you visit."
"Wait, what?" The heck was she talking about? They weren't in...hang on. He now sees that they were standing on a sidewalk outside where it was morning instead of the nighttime. The houses that surrounded them, he recognized, this very street was well known by him. This was Franklin Avenue. He grew up on this very lane, in the town where he lives. It really was Royal Woods. "I'm-I'm home?!"
"Duh!" Ronnie Anne answers obviously. "I gotta say, Lincoln. Ever since you came back, you've been way weirder than usual. What, did you think you were still missing?"
"No...but...what?"
Sighing with a smile, Ronnie Anne holds out her arms. "Okay, come here."
"Um, excuse me?"
"Jeez, do I have to do everything?" she wraps him up in a warm hug.
"...You're hugging me." Lincoln says after a stunned silence.
"Always pointing out the obvious, huh, punk?" Ronnie Anne laughs.
"It's just...you rarely give me hugs...especially in public."
"Trust me, it looks like you need it and besides, do you not want me to hug you?"
Wow, that was a a question Lincoln never thought he'd hear from Ronnie Anne of all people, but admittedly, this felt very nice. He gradually returns the hug with a smile and light blush on his face. "Actually, I don't really mind." he then remembers something very important. "But wait, I shouldn't even be here, I need to get out of...um...where was I again?"
He felt like he had something to do.
Something very important.
"I'll tell you where you need to be. At your house."
Lincoln froze.
"My house?"
"Come on, they're waiting for you."
Ronnie Anne takes Lincoln by his hand and walk pass the houses and passing people until they made it to a destination where Lincoln hasn't taken a step in for a very long time that he wondered if he'd ever see it again. But there it was. The Loud House. There was Vanzilla parked in its broken down glory and like all the time, there were frizbees and other items stuck on the roof. Lincoln gulps tersely as he stares in shock, wondering if he were re-living one of his dreams, but for all intents and purposes, it all seemed so real it was unbelievable. "This is my house..." he breathes.
"Sorry to cut and run here, but I gotta meet up with my brother. Catch ya later, Linc!"
She skateboards away and he barely waves.
He didn't know why he just stood there, every thought in his told him to enter, but it just felt so surreal seeing his house after so long.
He took slow cautious steps, walking up to the porch. He turned the knob once and opens the door to peer inside, the living room was exactly as he left it and barking got his attention.
Looking down, he sees the Loud family's pet dog who was panting happily with his tongue out. "Charles? Charles!" Lincoln kneels and scratches the canine happily. "Aw, I've missed you so much, boy" Then came in the cat, hamster, and canary. "Cliff, Geo, Walt! You're all here!"
"I hear hungry cries of happiness!"
Softly gasping, Lincoln looks to the kitchen entrance and there walks in Lynn Loud, Sr mixing food batter.
Chef.
Husband.
To Lincoln, his father.
"Dad...it's you..."
Lynn Sr. smiles at his only son. "Hey there, kiddo. You're just in time to try out a new dish I'm gonna use for the restaurant. A little preview before lunch, so-oof!" the father of eleven was taken back when Lincoln swiftly hugs him.
"Dad! I can't believe it!" Lincoln joyfully says.
"Heh, come on, son. I get you kids love my cooking, but it's not that big a deal."
"I'm back!" Now came Rita Loud, the family matriarch.
"Mom!"
Rita nearly fell over from the force of Lincoln's hug. "Whoa! Why can't I get welcomes homes regularly?" she playfully chides. "Someone's in a good mood."
"It's just..." Lincoln fought back tears. "...I'm so happy to see you both!"
"Oh, we're happy to see you, too, sweetie. But you we're not your only family, right?"
"Which reminds me." Lynn Sr. whistles. "Girls! Time for lunch! Final call before it's officially chow time! "
Familiar thundering footsteps were heard and for once, Lincoln was glad to hear the ten-headed beast awaken. He never thought he'd actually meet the loud clamoring of his beloved sisters. Like every day in the Loud house, they ran down the stairs like a stampede, all doing their usual antics and activities that signified their core personalities and quirks.
"Honestly, you guys. Who took my portable phone charger? That's one of the things I don't need to worry about in Fairway." Lori complained.
Leni went green. "Like, totes ew! Who'd want to pee on a charger?! Except maybe Lana."
"Not that kind of portable, dude." Luna nudged. "Maybe you left it back at the dorms, Lori. And say, think you can hook me and my mates up with a gig at your school? The Moon Goats are jonesin' for a college gig!"
"Toots here needs a visit there, too." Mr. Cocoanuts gestures to Luan, his puppeteer. "She's got an important photo assignment for school."
"It's for an important photography college." Luan quips through her chuckles. "Get it?"
"Heads up, little bro!" Lincoln expertly catches one of Lynn's soccer balls and she take sit back with a smirk. "Wicked reflexes, Lincoln. Good to know you worked on some moves while you were away."
"I find it more important that he came back period." Lincoln screams as Lucy appears beside him without making a sound. "You've been dearly missed, big brother."
The twins, Lana and Lola, hugged him at once. "I missed him more!" the little tomboy declares.
Her princess twin shouts back. "Nuh-uh! I did!"
"Would you monozygotic sapiens keep it down? A lunch can't be enjoyed through your childish prattle." Lisa complained.
"Lnkn..." Lily waddles to her big brother to give him a hug of her own. "Lnkn! Linkn!"
"Come on, kids!" Lynn Sr. screams. "Lunch won't eat itself!"
Everyone took their seats at the family table and Lincoln couldn't wait to dig in to his dad's tasty food. "Oh, I have missed this!"
For some reason, Lynn Sr. stops him. "Now slow your roll, son. The family's not all together just yet."
"Huh?" Lincoln didn't know what his father really meant by that. Unless Pop-Pop, Myrtle, and Aunt Ruth were coming by, he couldn't think of others besides-wait. Why were there four extra chairs?
A crash was heard outside and the Loud pack ran to the front and Lynn Sr. cries out once he sees Vanzilla even more wrecked after it got crashed into by...the I.M.P van? "Damn it, sir! I told you to mind the stop signs!" Before Lincoln's eyes, the imps and hellhound of the company got out, all in their natural demon forms. Moxxie was mouthing off to Blitzo.
"My baby!" Lynn Sr. lamented. "Blitz, you could've at least avoided the van!"
"Oh, don't bitch and moan over the old heap, Lynn, old buddy." Blitzo wraps an arm around the grieving man. "I keep telling ya. Keep it in the garage or worst case scenario, I destroy it with a fucking rocket launcher."
Lincoln blinks multiple times. "Blitz? Moxxie? Millie? Loona?"
"Hey!" Millie hops over and smothers him with affection. "There's my little man!"
Rita clears her throat. "You mean our little man, Millie."
"Oh, potato, potahto, Rita."
Moxxie was more comforting to Lynn Sr. "Lynn, I am so terribly sorry about the van. If you want, I could help bring it to the repair. I'll even pay for it."
"It's-It's fine, Moxxie." Lynn Sr. rubs his temple. "She's been through worse. And you're all just in time for family dinner!"
Lincoln slowly turns his head. "...What?"
"And Lincoln, I do hope you'll complete your schoolwork after eating." Moxxie advises. "But don't worry, I'll help tutor like always."
"I-you-all here-what?"
Lori glares as she sees Loona holding something. "Wait! That's literally my charger So, you took it!"
"Forgot mine in Hell." the hellhound shrugs nonchalantly. "You should literally keep better care of your shit." she sardonically fires back, using Lori's own catchphrase against her.
"Simmer down, children! It's time for some eats!" Blitzo rubs his hands.
Lincoln blinked multiple times as he fully registered the unbelievable sight. "...What the fuck?!"
It seemed like Lincoln had finally gotten his wish after such a long time.
To be back at Royal Woods, reunite with the friends and family he's missed so terribly and for things to be back as they were before his life went quite literally to Hell and it'd be the same usual Loud House misadventures. Only thing different was that all his coworkers from I.M.P seem to now be partaking in family eats, and it looks as if it were a usual thing. "Lincoln, honey. Eat up. Your foo's gettin called." Millie told him.
"...Um, sure."
"Everything good, Linc?" Loona asked. "You look like Luan when she finds crack marks on her creepy as fuck puppet."
"Hey, where's the love for old dummies, doll?" Mr. Cocoanuts complained.
"It's nothing. It's just...what's going on here?" He can't be the only one terribly confused. "Since when did you all meet I. since when was it okay to walkabout without disguises? And where did you get the extra chairs?!"
"Family lunch, baby bro." Luna simply answers, like it was common knowledge. "It's a brand new thing we got started after you introduced us to the new fam members. Took a little getting used to, but it's been going good."
Blitzo raises a glass. "Hear, hear! It was so nice of you folks to open your home to us and to let us eat your food without threatening to call the fuzz or the government! Hats off you to the sperm and egg factory that gave birth to eleven fucking kids!"
"Blitz, remember what we talked about using that sort of language at the table." Rita chided. "Also, please tell me you remembered to wash off all the blood on your fingers before eating."
"You let that one eat like a wild animal." Blitzo jerks a thumb at Lana.
Everyone acted so causally with one another.
None of his parents or sisters batted an eye at the fact that demons were in their house. It was so freaking weird, but at the same time, a part of actually didn't mind it, like it was preferable. He felt like he should just roll with it, but rationality reminded him that he still had something important to do, a task that needs his attention, but he couldn't for the life of him figure out what that was. He's not one to just forget important things. All these burning questions made his entire mind feel like it was spiraling out of control.
He feels his phone vibrating and sees that it was his old Earth-made one. "You guys?" It was his entire friend group calling him through a video, all prepared to go on some trip.
"Hey, buddy!" Clyde, who is like a brother to Lincoln, greets. "Hope you haven't forgotten to take us to meet your teacher."
"What are you talking about?"
A painful scream is heard in his other pocket, which came from his Hell Phone. "Octavia?"
Now, it was the Goetia princess hailing him from her phone. "Hey, Linc. I got everything ready for you and your friends. I just need to remind dad that most of the stuff he's prepared are so last century."
"But, Via, dear. I'm sure the dear boy and his little friends will find things...er, retro. Yes, I believe that's the term." Stolas contradicts, trying to use cooler vocabulary.
"Ugh, come on, dad."
"Uh...I'll have to call you back." Hanging up, Lincoln walks away from the table, as if waiting for his head to explode from all this. "Listen, I'm not that hungry and I just remembered that I gotta go do a thing...just don't know what it is...bye!" he makes a dash for upstairs and takes a step back to see his Pop-Pop and Myrtle take a photo with Joe and Lin, Millie's parents.
Not to mention photos of the rest of Millie's kin.
"More for me!" Lynn takes the food for herself.
Lincoln didn't waste any time to shut the door to his room closed. He walks over to the bed and sits at his side, completely missing the sleeping form that was covered by the sheets. He wipes sweat off his forehead, asking for anything that can make sense of what's going on and why he can't remember the very important thing that requires him to wake up and act. "Aw, did someone have a wild day?" a silky smooth flirtatious voice asks, putting her hands on Lincoln's shoulders.
"Heh, you have no idea." Lincoln humorlessly chuckles. "I can't figure what's going on. I can't even tell if I'm going insane."
"Poor baby." she giggles playfully. "Want me to make it feel all better?"
"Sure. I'd really love that, V-V-Verosika?!" Lincoln shoots up from his sitting spot after recognizing the silky voice that belonged to the strikingly sexy Verosika Mayday who laid out on the bed, dressed her human disguise clothing. "What the-?! What are you doing in my room?! In my house?!" Lincoln exclaims in shock, blushing up a storm.
This took an unexpected turn, though not one unwelcoming to Lincoln.
Verosika laughs. "Don't you mean our room?"
Clapping her hands once, she turns the light on and shows that this was not the small cramped space Lincoln once called his bedroom. It was a purple-lit room with lava lamps, expensive looking video game systems, a big-screen television and bean bags. The bed was king-sized and Verosika laid there, expecting Lincoln to come join her and poses for him. "Whaaaaaaaaaaat?" Lincoln's eyes bugged out in surprise.
"You kept me waiting, Linky, dear. What's a girl gotta do to get a hello kiss?" Verosika got on all fours and puckers her lips.
"u-Uh, s-sorry, I just...I need a moment to think..." He was half tempted, but Lincoln was freaking out a whole lot. Two hands suddenly shield his eyes and a bubbly voice was heard.
"Guess who~?"
Lincoln looks back and saw the Succubi, couple, Apple and Coco. "Hey, bunny boy. Miss us?" Coco smirks with a sway of her hips.
"'Cause we missed you, Linky." She and her girlfriend got down and hugged Lincoln at both sides to nuzzle their cheeks against his. It was a nice feeling...but Lincoln didn't fall prey to whatever the hell was going on. "How about some fun?"
"Coco, Apple! You're here, too?!" he slips past them. "Okay, this is getting weirder by the second, even by standards I'm used to by now."
A hand grabs his shoulder and he's pulled onto the lap of Kiki on a beanbag. "Is that such a bad thing?" she asked with a lick of her lips. "We're here, isn't that good enough?"
Lincoln nervously laughs. "I mean, I'm not complaining..."
Milky jumps to join them on the bag to put his arm between her breasts to further entice him. "Then enjoy the moment, baby boy. You got everything you ever wanted."
"I-I do?"
"That's right." Verosika struts up to him and bends forward to cup his chin with her finger. "You're finally back home, right? You're with your whole family. Things you love about Hell and Earth?"
"Really...?"
In the beginning, all he thought about was getting back to his life on Earth as soon as possible.
But the more he got used to living in Hell, the more he started to realize it's not that bad a place even though it was the realm of the damned. He hasn't forgotten the constant dangers, but in certain occasions, he's found himself having fun. Meeting exciting and new demons, making friends with them, learning things he's only dreamed of, and finding others he was proud to call his family.
Hell's given him so much and he's experienced so much, it's actually hard to imagine his life without it.
But still, he wasn't like the demons, he's a still-alive human with a family to go back to one day.
He can't just have one life over the other.
So, he couldn't help but feel that it'd be better to have the best of both worlds.
"Hang on, no." Lincoln stands up, feeling more headaches. "This isn't right. I never asked for this. Never wanted this. It hasn't always been fun. I know that!" He can't forget all the times he's nearly lost his life. All the risks he's took, choices he's had to make, and the lingering trauma of it all. What can a kid like him who's learned only a handful of spells hope to do with growing threats to him and those he cherishes. "It hasn't always been easy!" he turns back to them, but gasps when he they disappeared. In fact, the whole room was now empty. He shivers after feeling a cold breeze that came from the door that was creaked open, and against his better judgment, he opens and is presented with an endless black void. The door closes and it disappears into nothingness, leaving Lincoln to wander across the land, seeing no houses or other people for miles, a feeling of dread swelling up.
"Lincoln...Lincoln...Lincoln..."
"Who's there?!" Lincoln heard the whispering of his name. "What is this?!"
He screams in fright when a hand sprouts from the ground, and he sees the form of Martha, the gunshot-wielding Satanist cannibal emerge with only her one eye. A head rolls by, the head belonging to Robo Fizz with the face melted off. A sea wave comes to unveil the giant fish monster from the spring break job, and the ravenous beasts from the forest.
"This is what you hate, ain't it, sugar?" Imaginary Martha cackles madly.
Robo Fizz's body picks it up and reattaches it. "Can't take a joke, kiddo?"
Lincoln searches for an exit strategy, but they were all crowding around him and he felt the same fear and helplessness as before. A single gunshot rang his ears and all looked to see the malicious Striker ride in on Bombproof, aiming straight for Lincoln. "Guess I was wrong about ya, boy. Looks like in the end, you'll be stepped on after all and there ain't nobody to save ya! You can't even save those you love. But don't worry, I'll be sure to tell your fam you said hello."
"It's only fitting..." That voice. No, anyone but him. "...I had as much right to continue living." There he was. Stillman. The sick individual that sacrificed so many for his continued life, the same bastard who's responsible for Lincoln's curse. Striker pulls the trigger at the shivering white haired boy hugging his knees, but the bullet stops in mid-air and Lincoln speaks quietly. His eyes were covered by his bangs.
"...Everything that's happened to me...it's all your fault..." That was said mainly to Stillman. "On that day, i wanted to do more than just drop a clock on you. I wanted you to feel the pain that I felt...that I've been feeling...!" Looking up, he reveals his eyes glowing again. The bullet disintegrates and storm clouds form in the sky, flashing red lightning. These figures that have caused Lincoln so much strife, they wish to do so again, but no. Never. Lincoln won't allow them.
The water underneath the fish monster swirls into a vortex that sucked it and the shadowy beasts in.
With a stoic expression, devoid of all emotion, Lincoln arose and faces this hallucination of Stillman who isn't concerned by what had occurred.
"What is that you want?"
"...Survive."
"For what?"
"For my family. My whole family, I don't want anyone to hurt them. Whatever happens to me, that's one thing, but the people I love..." his fists clenched tightly as Stillman, Robo Fizz, Martha, and Striker dissipated like ghosts. "...I won't let anything happen to them..." The dark mass on the ground begins to cover Lincoln until his entire body was consumed. "...No matter what it takes...everything that threatens me ore them...I want them all to disappear...and there's only one way..." he said in a trance-like state, his face now being covered by the mass. "It's to let it all out."
Usually, Millie would have a blast in all the unfortunate agents that she sliced and diced with her axe. Each one she killed with Loona meant another step closer to finding her loved ones and ending this terrible night. But it was taking way too long for her, none of the agents would fess up to where the boys were being kept and that proved to be their last mistakes. She wanted her family back together right now and that mattered her to more than even an endless supply of victims to take her rage out on, she and the hellhound tried one of the rooms sealed off by a code.
Looking closer, they saw the number one key being scratched out from being overused, signifying that the password was just a lot of ones.
"I gotta say, so far, these kidnappers are being really disappointing." Loona spoke honestly. "I mean, it can't be this easy, can it? It's like they're trying to look like dipshits."
"Just try one." Millie instructs Loona.
Predictably, that worked and the doors are opened.
They were getting closer, they had a feeling.
But it wasn't just them. "What the Heaven?" Loona gazes to her back to see something glowing from inside the bag. They stopped for a moment and when Loona peeked inside, she saw it was the grimoire. She opens its pages to see the words blink repeatedly, like it was reacting to something and when Loona's picked up an all too familiar scent, she had an idea on how it was. "I think the book's picking up on Lincoln!"
"Really?!" She better not be pulling Millie's leg. "How can you be sure?"
"I honestly have no freaking clue, but I am smelling his scent. He's gotta be nearby, come on!"
With renewed vigor, they ran quickly until finding a squad of agents, and they were observing the unconscious form of Lincoln Loud.
"One of the rookies said they found him like this."
"What exactly is the protocol here?"
"Don't tell me you skipped out on beginners' orientation."
"Lincoln!" Millie and Loona shout, gaining Her eyes narrowing with a feral growl, Millie pounces with her axe and the agents raise their weapons to meet her attack, but at that very second, Lincoln's eyes shoot open and the sclera becomes pitch black and his irises glow red. A distracted agent was trained for anything, but he was never trained for a scenario where a kid kicks him fiercely with surprising strength. Lincoln swipes his feet underneath all the others' legs that was strong enough to trip them over, causing them to drop their weapons. Millie was unrestrained with her ax swings at the agents and when she was done, she dropped everything and enveloped Lincoln in a big hug, kissing his cheek.
"Oh, Lincoln, sweetie! The nightmare's over now! Momma's here!" Millie wept with relief, she licks her thumb and rubs it on his face. "Oh, I am never letting you out of my sights again, you hear me, young man?"
Loona caught up and gives Lincoln her own hug. "Little dude, I'm so glad you were okay!" To hell with her apathy, she just wanted to hold him. "Did they hurt you?"
"...They tried...but, they failed..."
The women can now see how Lincoln's eyes changed and what truly startled them was how his voice was a mix of his own and a deeper growl-like tone, almost animal-like.
"Lincoln...?" Millie inquired in concern.
"Hold it right there!" An agent ran in and radioed for backup. "All agents converge on my location! I found the intruders and the escapee!"
A trivial matter.
One Lincoln will take care of.
By simply waving his hand, Lincoln levitates the grimoire and forces the pages to open. The pages turn in a rapid fashion and somehow, his eyes managed to keep track of it, until reaching the end. The spell book closes and he floats up, startling Millie and Loona. The lights flicker on and off, and each time, Lincoln appeared to have move in the blink of an eye.
He snaps his fingers and before the agent knew it, the entire room suddenly twisted and turned and he floats in-between. "Aah! Oh, shit! Jesus Christ! What the fuck is going on here! Ah, I shit my fucking pants!" he screams like a little bitch when he saws the wall grown a mouth and fangs, and he is promptly eaten then spit out like a bad lunch. The agent drags across the floor until stopping underneath Lincoln. "W-What the shit was that?! I-I was fucking eaten! I-I didn't sign for shit like this!"
"But, you did. Pay the price now." Lincoln's glare hardened.
"What are you going to do?"
"Destroy. Destroy everything! It's what you deserve! For hurting me and them!" Lincoln gestures towards Millie and Loona who didn't know what else to do beside stand frozen. "To put it simple for you, bitch! You will pay!"
"There they are!"
Backup agents finally arrived.
"Fools."
With waves of his hand, Lincoln made all the swords become metal constrictor snakes to bind most of them, then makes the floor intangible to make the agents sink until they were stuck up to their top halves and he made the ground solid again. "Uh, is there a protocol for this?"
Beams shot from Lincoln's hands that struck the agents' heads, leaving them dazed and mumbling messes."They shall sleep until the next day. Deserve much worse, but are not important."
Millie and Loona shared a worried glance and the hellhound speaks up. "Uh, Linc? You okay there, bro?"
Lincoln looks back evenly. "Never felt better. Kill them if you wish, but I know where Moxxie and Blitzo are. They need our help."
Agents One and Two were having a blast watching their demon captives crumble under the influence of the truth bomb gas. They ate and drank popcorn and soda as Blitzo and Moxxie zoned out, drooling from the mouths. Still, as entertaining as watching them face their very deep-seeded issues was, it wasn't exactly the proof they needed to support their case to their superiors, but they knew that once the realization that they were never getting out sets in, they'll be more compliant.
The gas finally wore off and the imps were rousing awake from their hallucinations.
A very uncomfortable and somber silence is invoked between Blitzo and Moxxie.
Confronting their insecurities and fears was certainly...something and they didn't know what else to say to each other. Not much else could there be said after being trapped in their own minds.
Moxxie was the first to speak up.
"Do you remember my first day? After I joined the company?"
"Nope.." Blitzo replies, not getting why he brought that up.
"I never forgot. You said I did a good job and that you were proud to have me aboard." Moxxie could never forget one of the few good things Blitzo ever said to him. Growing up as a gun lover in Wrath, Moxxie never got praise from other demons, besides his wife. Blitzo's words meant a lot to him, even if it was just a compliment. "Even back then, I fel like you wanted to say something more judgmental, but you went with that, because you knew I needed it and it really helped."
Blitzo sighs tiredly from everything and speaks with a soft tone. "Look, I'm always hard on you, because I know what you're capable of, Mox." If had more confidence in himself, Moxxie could be just as ballsy as Blitzo, if not more so, but it just annoyed Blitzo that Moxxie kept holding himself back, much like he does. "You just care way too much about what others think, except for me, because you know, my opinion is the only real truth." He upped the smug level there. "But, just keep doing a good job your own way, 'kay? You shoot and kill like a pro. You escape things like it's no big whoop. You're very strategic and very cold-blooded when you need to, and the makings of being a great dad, and don't expect anymore compliments. I'm maxed out." he could just throw up right now.
He said quite enough already and Moxxie was grateful for that. "Thank you, sir. I appreciate it." he said, smiling.
Blitzo didn't seen the need for annoying formalities and professionalism.
"I have a real name. Use it."
"Thanks, Blitz." They heard sounds coming from the ceiling and there dropped Millie who landed gracefully and smiles to see her boss and the love of her life. Those very two were equally relieved to see her. "There's my Millie!" Moxxie celebrated.
"Impressive work as always, Mills!" Blitzo congratulated as she worked to free them both. Moxxie and Millie enjoyed their reunion, she wiped away a happy tear and they pressed their foreheads together. "How'd you get here all by yourself? By the way, where's Lincoln?" he waited for an answer and hug, but it never came and then, the mirror is smashed when Loona used Agent Two's head as a battering ram. "Looney?! You brought her here?!" Blitzo screamed in distress.
Loona reminded him that there wasn't time for him going into overprotective dad mode. "Not the time, Blitz! Now get your asses free before more fuckers show up!"
Agent One tried to nab her, until he is levitated up by the still floating Lincoln. "You shouldn't have messed with my family..." he then levitated Two to throw her at One. He and Loona go to rejoin their compatriots, with the hellhound jumping over and ditching her disguise for her true form.
Blitzo and Moxxie stared at Lincoln's new development, not expecting this. "Lincoln?" Moxxie questioned. "How are you doing that?"
Instead of answering, Lincoln smiles and proceeds to hug Moxxie. "You're both alive. I'm glad." He then hugs Blitzo.
"Uh..." Blitzo awkwardly pats Lincoln's back. "Cool, but that didn't really answer the question."
"Questions can come later. We're about to have fun."
Loona drops the weapons bag. Blitzo and Moxxie shared wild grins as they arm themselves with the signature flintlock pistol, and two submachine guns just as One presses the alarm button.
More agents arrived through the ceiling and the doors, surrounding the team, outnumbering them. I.M.P were similarly prepared to get down to business. "Okay, I've had one too many emotional breakdowns for today!" Moxxie concernedly looks at Blitzo. "Guys, let's fuck these fuckers up!" Blitzo jovially proclaims, earning an eager nod from Moxxie.
They were ready for a fight.
An agent threw the scythed end of his chain weapon, which Loona caught with her mouth. Savagely shouting, she pulled the chain to fling the wielder into his fellow agents, Loona dodged several spear swipes, then stuck the sickle in that one's neck, she ran across the room to wrap the chain around various agents and with one tug, decapitated them.
Millie still had a lot of pent up anger at these agents for all the trouble they've caused for her and her family and still had enough energy to express it. She used both speed and agility that came with her small size for fast-paced axe swinging attacks, moving like a small blur that couldn't be touched. She also used her weapon to parry and block all the swords and shurikens thrown at her.
As Blitzo stated, nothing was holding an angry Millie back. These sorry tacky suit wearing agents dug their own graves when they took her hubby, baby boy, and boss captive and now was their time to lie in them. Even if they were trained to use their weapons, no amount of training could've made these agents be on par with Millie.
She ran ahead, spinning the axe in her hands.
Lincoln's aptitude for combat only comes for self defense. But he never saw himself as being as ruthless as all his I.M.P friends right now, but with his current state of mind, he actually decided that the best defense was a good offense. His magical abilities seemed much more potent now as he was casting spells without even using the grimoire to cast them. An orange shield was summoned to protect himself from sword strikes, then expands it to pin the agents against the wall, then in an orange blur, appears in a flash next one to tap his forehead which had enough force to throw him to the floor. A chain entraps him, but just by touching it with his hands, the metal rusts and decomposes into ash, the agent that had it then felt an elbow to his stomach.
Lincoln spotted a hidden One and by just raising his hand, he levitated that confiscated revolver they took from him. "This was given to me by my dad." the boy recalls. "It doesn't belong to you." Shurikens were approaching and with impeccable aim, he fired shots that struck them all, breaking the thrown objects into pieces. An agent makes a go to grab him, but Lincoln side-steps and kicks the knee hard and the kid headbutts him hard. The agents Lincoln took down were still alive, but they may think twice about going back in active duty when all's said and done.
Blitzo and Moxxie were back-to-back. They fired multiple times and when he ran out of ammo, Blitzo goes straight for his emergency bag for some more wonderful toys to use against D.H.O.R.K.S. "Mox, cover my six!"
"Affirmative, sir!" Moxxie's guns ran empty, so he caught two golden revolvers thrown by Blitzo to shoot at all sides. His boss wielded a green-bladed knife to swipe at anyone attacking them.
"Eat my ass, dorks!" Blitzo shouted, he took multiple selfies during the fighting.
Moxxie had to pistol whip one with his now empty revolver,
Blitzo brings out a shotgun to fire at close rang, then gifts it to Moxxie for him to shoot down a few more. Both shared a determined nod and kept on bringing on the pain that knew no bounds.
Blitzo slithers atop Loona's head to fire a crossbow arrow as soon as Loona punches and kicks more away. Her instincts led her to go on all fours and jumped to bite down and then tossed one around like a chew toy. Blitzo gave his adopted daughter a custom made rifle that fired off plasma rounds for her to use as her own weapon. "Die, you lousy motherfuckers!" she yelled at the agents, and saw Blitzo's downright emotional face. "What?"
"I have never been more damn proud of you, Looney!" Blitzo ecstatically expresses, kissing Loona on the cheek which annoyed her. "Bye, sweetie!" Grunting, she bit down on another agent to throw at one that was about to attack Blitzo.
"Heads up!"
"Hey, Mills!" Blitzo waves casually at the female imp.
"Hiya, Blitz!" Millie waved back. "Just one little sec!" There were still a lot more of these guys that needed to be known about the wrath of Millie. She dashed forward, her axe spinning in a whirl by her tiny red hands.
"Do you want some guns?" Blitzo asked, holding several for her.
Millie was grateful, but preferred to stay in her lane. "Nah, I'm all good!" she chirped cheerfully and continued until wrapping her legs around one's neck to go on a merry-go-around of endless attacks, then began choking them with her powerful legs.
"Feel thirsty for some water?" suggested Blitzo.
"Sure!" Millie opens her mouth to let him pour the refreshing drink in. "Thanks, Blitz!" she said.
"No problemy, my little Millie-Billie!"
Lincoln's arms glowed and they were now in energy-made orange constructs that he could enlarge with just a thought. He grabs two groups of agents and mixed them together to toss them like a soccer ball. He flash-steps away from a katana coming straight for them to appear behind the attacking agents and encases him in a big orange orb, Lincoln rolls the orb to knock down a horde of agents. "Whoo! Now that's what I call a fucking strike!" Blitzo clapped. "I gotta say, kiddo, I'm still a tad bit on the fence about your whole deal right now, but I can't argue with the results! Sure, you haven't a killed anyone, but you definitely killed their drives to continue doing their jobs! That's almost as good! Major kudos, bud! Hope you don't mind me giving out all the toys. I know you're the intern, but it looks like you want to be more than that."
"I'm doing my part. For all of you and the boss should have fun, too, right?"
"Oh-ho-ho! Keep this up, and you just might land employee of the month!" Blitzo twirls two automatic guns from the beg. "Now, who wants to spend some quality time with daddy?" he menacingly asked, killing intent radiating off him. He ran and shot at the same time, latching onto one's shoulders to keep unloading his guns. Blitzo jumped off to shoot some more and now wielded a baseball bat with nails to hit up another, then used it to hit a grenade like a baseball bat. "Fore! And that's a home run!"
For agents One and Two, their night went from good, then to bad, and now to insane. They clearly underestimated these demons and now, they were suffering from mounting casualties. Another thing that contributed to this chaotic mess was being not properly equipped. "Good god! Remind me again why we're only using weapons from Japan's Edo period?!" One asked a very good question.
"Because Edo Period was badass and you know it!" Two reprimanded.
"Damn it, you're so right."
"Incoming" Two pulls them both down to avoid getting hit by Loona with her rifle and cowardly crawled away from all the action.
Moxxie screamed through a hissing, standing on top of a mountain of agents, firing his shotgun like a madman. "Face my wrath, bitches!" he saw agents trying to sneak behind Lincoln, but were felled by the imp. "Don't you dare harm my son!" He said that without even correcting himself as he meant it this time.
Blitzo pops up."Hey, Mox!" his abrupt interruption surprised Moxxie to the point of fumbling the shotgun. "Oh, wow. Better get a handle of those butter fingers. I'm just saying. But hey, finally acknowledged Linc as your kid. About time. Now hold this." he handed Moxxie the bag, and reached deep inside to pull out a giant bazooka he labeled himself that he held with a struggling Moxxie. "Oh, yeah! Getting hard on this motherfucker!" the rocket inside is launched and exploded in a fiery inferno.
Everyone shielded themselves from the blast, but not Lincoln. He stood his ground, still with an emotionless expression. "Awesome..."
"Oh, crumbs." Moxxie grimaced, feeling that was a bit too much, even if it was effective. "Is everyone okay?"
Blitzo hops on Moxxie's back. "Whoo! Not bad for demon scum, huh?!" he shouts with jubilation, and is lifted off Moxxie by a disapproving Lincoln. "What?" One and Two were now on their own, but they weren't about to cut their losses. They still have more tricks up their sleeves, evident by the big red button that One presses, blaring the alarms and lighting room in red, a very bad sign to Blitzo. "Oh, shit! Come on, fam! Let's blow this cocksickle joint!" Blitzo ushers them to run out the exit, but metal doors close on them before even one of them could make it out.
"Hey! Open up!" Loona looks through the window too see various blockades, laser grids, and doors trap shut to prevent any escape. No matter how hard they tried, the demons couldn't budge the door open.
"Quick! Use the book!" Moxxie tells Loona.
Try as she might, Loona couldn't even make out a single word due to her canine vision being impaired. "Aw, Shit! I-I can't read a single spell in this light! I can't see dick!" she fretted. "Linc, you try! Linc?"
For some reason, Lincoln didn't move an inch, it looked like he was patiently waiting for something.
Loona looks at Blitzo for any ideas, and he searched for any extra weapons lying around, but they were fresh out. "Well, shit. We've milked the weapon tit dry and now, we're low on badassery." he backed up against the doors.
I.M.P still kept on a brave stance even when One and Two cornered them with their own guns. "Ha! You demons aren't going anywhere, now!" Two triumphantly laughs, until Lincoln cuts her off.
"You sure about that?" he smirked.
One and Two saw the shadows of I.M.P combine into a singular one, taking the shape of an inhuman figure who growls at them. One of the TV screens turned on by itself showing static, then the empty interrogation room and now, it rattles erratically before turning off. Seeing their reflections, they see the tall shadow of a four-eyed individual with a reckoning. All the TVs launch at and nearly hits them and all objects fly out in a frenzy as a dark whisper is heard from the shadows, belonging to a demon royal that I.M.P knows all too well.
"Who dares threaten my impish little plaything and my precious student?"
"Another demon?!" One frantically asked, looking for the source.
Two nudged him and she shows him the floor where bird-like footprints appear, going towards them.
A smile begins to form on Lincoln's face as his eyes continued their black and red appearance. "Teacher is coming..."
One is hit by a TV monitor, knocking his shades off and witnesses Two standing eerily still, her head rocking back and forth. "Agent Two? What's the matter?!"
Two didn't have time to feel the outside presence invading her mind, all that she was capable of was feeling her mind be lost to the malevolent force. Lincoln raised his hands and orange strings materialized from his fingertips, they connected to a number of dead agents. "Rise." Like a puppet-master, he strung them along to stand up, and Two held her shaking petrified face. "Now, summon him." Lincoln directed the puppets to draw a unique circle right where Two stood as a means of summoning. One attempted to take Two away, but her head turned backwards with a wide smile and crazed expression on her face, frightening her partner.
"What's wrong, demon hunter?!" Two's voice took on a British sounding accent, mixed in with another's through cruel laughter. "I thought you wished to see a real demon?!"
More crazed laughter follows as the puppets draw a symbol and spell out the name: Stolas. Two's head turns as her eyes roll back and a fountain of black feathers and shadows erupt from her mouth, the insidious laughter taking on distorted tones. Two coughed out as she felt her mind being free, but was also horrified by what she was seeing now. I.M.P saw this all in amazement, Loona even took a pic while Lincoln felt emboldened by the display.
Inspired to try his own hand.
One and Two hugged each other tightly as a shadowy dark feathered owl beast not of this world appears, advancing on them it with a nightmarish roar. They shut their eyes, waiting for him to end it, but Stolas pulls back, reverting to his standard form with a steel glare.
Lincoln blinks. "No..." He felt that they were getting off too easy. All demons present suddenly felt his growing anger, and with heavy breaths, Lincoln's hair rose up and he levitates upwards to face the agents. "You don't deserve mercy!" His voice become more deeper and hollow, with his face twisted into an hateful scowl, his teeth were even sharpened. He brings forth big energy construct arms with claws and snatches One and Two. With a hard squeeze, they struggle out groans of pain. Lincoln's scowl became a feral grin. His own shadow undergoes a change, it stretches further, the arms become claws, and antler-like horns grow from the head along with floppy rabbit ears. Big leather wings appear fit with a spaded tail, and the shadow even blinks open piercing red eyes and a red mouth of razor teeth. Lincoln still appeared human, but now was the time to unleash the demon.
"Lincoln." Stolas' hands grasps his shoulder. "That's enough."
"But-But they tried to hurt me. Tried to hurt my family! My mom, my dad, my sister, my-"
"I know. I know." Stolas soothes in understanding. "But, they are beaten now. Not worth the effort, and this. This isn't who you are, my dear pupil." the prince somberly reminds him.
Panting, Lincoln looks down on his hands and what he was doing to the agents.
This wasn't who he was.
He's no killer.
He released One and Two, sparing their lives.
"I...I..." Grunting, Lincoln grabs his hair and floats back down, his hair settling and shadow returning to its usual shape. Opening his eyes with a gasp, it's shown that they, too, were regular and he almost falls down with a faint. Stolas catches him and tenderly cradles his body. "Stolas..." Lincoln called, with the correct voice. "...you came for us..."
"Of course I did." Stolas smiles fondly and turns the lights back on, deactivates all the security, and carries the tired boy to I.M.P, handing him over to a worried Loona.
"Stolas, how did you know that we needed a hand?" Of all the questions Blitzo had, that was the first that came to mind.
"I have my ways, darling." Stolas cryptically replies, kneeling down to hold Blitzo's cheek. "Are you alright?"
Blitzo becomes annoyed at the display. "Ugh, I'm fine, Stolas."
"Hmm, good." Now, Stolas was free to show how royally pissed off he was at their incredible blunder. "How the fuck did you get caught by humans!" It greatly disappointed the prince that with their track record, it seemed like I.M.P would inadvertently blow the whistle on all of Hell to the world at large. "Are you little creatures not being careful up here?! You know, if you get in trouble, I get in trouble! We don't want that! Not to mention how much of a risk poor Lincoln was in! I expect to better handle yourselves when using my book, Blitzy!"
Moxxie attempts to placate the furious Goetia. "They caught us off guard, your highness."
Blitzo bitterly wanted to talk back for his own defense...but couldn't deny that Stolas had a right to be upset. "Yeah. You can just unclench your bird puss, Stolas. It won't happen again."
Collecting himself, Stolas managed to at least point out one silver lining. "Be grateful for being lucky that most don't take the word of demon obsessed lunatics." he motions to the still shivering scared shitless forms of One and Two. "They are called kooks." he has a giggle fit over how the word sounded. "Kooks. Such a silly mortal word. What's even more fortunate is that Lincoln at least, would still be back at your dwelling."
"What do you mean?"
"Observe."
Cracks appeared on the ground, and the very Earth beneath opened up to reveal glowing abyss-like portal. Lincoln floats away from Loona's arms and is plunged into the portal, much to the distress of I.M.P. "What happened to my baby?!" Millie shrieks.
"No need for alarm." Stolas calmly informs. "This is the curse at work. As you know, Lincoln's time on Earth is limited and once time is up, he is to go back to Hell in a place he is most familiar with. I'd wager, your lovely little workspace. I suggest we follow!" Stolas opens a portal back to Hell, at the I.M.P office.
"Yes, please." Moxxie graciously accepts. "Going to the proper hellhole sounds quite pleasant."
The five Hellborn demons step through the portal and it closes behind them.
It never felt so great to be back and there was Lincoln sleeping on the couch just as Stolas said. "Oh, my sweet boy!" Millie hugs him.
Blitzo turns upwards at his lover, wanting to get to another crucial matter. "Okay, real talk here, Stolas. What the fuck was that with the kid's eyes, and the stunts he pulled off?I...honestly didn't know he had it in him."
"I did!" Millie joyfully shouts. "That's my boy right here, kicking ass with his poppa and momma!"
"It seemed more than that, Millie." Moxxie contradicts. "It was like he was possessed...but at the same time, still himself?"
"That is a very keen and accurate observation." Stolas agreed, providing answers the best way he could at the moment. "It was no possession. That would imply an external source trying to invade young Lincoln's mind just I did to one of those kooks. No, this was something fundamentally different. What we saw was all him. All coming from his own latent potential in demonic arcane arts and growing...influence from Hell itself. It was still Lincoln's own mind at work, but I can only assume some part of it was weakened, allowing something else to rise and try to take over."
Loona kneels down and rubs Lincoln's head softly with a puppy whimper. "What is that, exactly?"
"That...remains to be seen."
Lincoln stirs awake and sees the concerned faces of his coworkers. His family. "You're all safe...Stolas, I saw what you did...that was very badass..." he praised.
Stolas crosses his arms. "Well, I am your teacher after all, dear boy. You just focus on getting proper rest." Moxxie, Millie, and Loona took care of that by taking Lincoln to his room.
Now that they had privacy, Stolas immediately hoists Blitzo up in his arms. "When can I expect a thank you for the rescue, Blitzy?" he playfully whines.
Blitzo smirked.
Complicated emotions or not, he figures Stolas deserved a win. "Let me think. Up for letting me fuck your brains out tonight over at your place?"
"Very much so." Stolas leaned in for a kiss.
"Alright." Blitzo grabbed the back of Stolas' head and pulled him back tightly, making the prince blush. "But you better keep quiet the whole time, or I'm using those bear traps." his finger trailed along Stolas' face that just fluffed up Stolas' feathers.
"Please do."
They instantly kissed as the portal closed behind them, Blitzo broke the kiss to address his emoloyees. "M&M, how are you holding up?"
"Can't complain, Blitz. I'm just glad this is finally over and nothing happened to our son."
Millie gasped happily. "Moxxie! You called Lincoln our boy!"
One and Two had no words.
They had demons in their grasps. But, they not only managed to break free, but completely massacre their entire agency, leaving piles upon piles of dead agents in their wake, along with a lot of damages to their HQ. It'll take days, even months before they'll be able to start things back up, the recruitment drive will take just as long and that's not even getting into the mental scars of this ordeal.
Two was still winded after being momentarily possessed by Stolas. All she knew now was that she didn't want to ever go through that again, but that still begged the question on what direction they should take going forward.
"So, what now?"
One merely laughed, seeing that as a rhetorical question.
They lost so many agents.
Got owned pretty badly.
But even with all that, he still counted this as a win.
"What now?! We finally got the evidence we needed to be taken seriously!" One walks over to a computer console and brushes aside all the broken pieces to type and access the security feed. Everything that just happened was all recorded, and that footage was one of the few things that made it out unscathed. Videos of I.M.P fighting, Lincoln doing magic, and Stolas appearing to stare back at the camera. It was all there.
"But, what about the kid?"
"After what just happened, we can't be certain that kid even was a kid!" One didn't what to classify Lincoln as, but he was now a point of interest for their agency. "Can't you see that this is the ticket we've been waiting for, Two?! Our shot to not be the weirdos, the crackpots, the biggest kooks in the world! They won't be able to write this off!"
"And if they still don't believe us? What do we do then?"
"Then we'll make them believe! This isn't something they can just pass off, not this time! This time, we'll have enough agents, better equipment, and more resources than we've ever had before! Nobody in corporate is ignoring this!"
One and Two put on new sunglasses and smirk deviously, the former's chuckling as the screens go to black.
But neither they, nor anyone in Hell realized what also occurred there.
The emergence of something that's been growing inside Lincoln Loud.
This was merely a prelude to the growing power within him, there was still time for it to grow, until he was ready to unleash it all to any fool looking for any trouble.
In the I.M.P office down below, Lincoln slept and two red eyes appeared in his shadow before disappearing as the boy kept sleeping.
