This is just something I wrote one day when I was bored. It's supposed to be Kira and Jadzia singing about their weird relationships: they'll go out with almost anyone…except Dukat. The tune is "Matchmaker, Matchmaker".

KN: Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match

Constable, vedek, a farmer perhaps

Matchmaker, matchmaker power's a must

So long as it's not Dukat

JD: Matchmaker, matchmaker, I'll bring bat'leth

You bring the groom, with forehead so rough

I'll settle for big ears or Dr. JB

Just make me a perfect match

KN: I'll start with a religious leader

JD: Continue through my next Trill life

KN, JD: We'll take any guy we like in full

KN: But please no transparent skull

KN, JD: Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match

Find me a find, catch me a catch

JD: Looks are no biggie, for me that's a fact

KN: Just keep him away- Dukat

JD: Kira! Oh, Kira! Have you got a match from I

He's handsome, he's sightly, that is with all three eyes

But he's a nice man, a good catch, right? Right!

I promise you'll be happy, and if I'm by chance wrong

There's always Dukat- he'll come along

KN: Jadzia, Jadzia, have I got a match for you

He's Klingon, he's young- at least as young as you

But he's a nice man, a good catch, true? True!

You heard he's got a temper, he'll with Dominion fight

But only when it's dishonorable- so you're all right

JD: Did you think you'd get a prince?

KN: I found the best I can

With Bareil, Shakaar, Riker Tom, Odo

I'm glad I've got (a?) man

JD: Matchmaker, matchmaker it occurred to me

I'll live longer thanks to the worm in my belly

Up to this minute I misunderstood

I thought I'd be stuck for good

KN, JD: It's clear; too, we don't need to pursue

The man of our dreams

JD: It may take a little less subtlety

KN: Or two hundred more years, it seems

KN, JD: Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match

From beyond the wormhole less me catch

But if I'm not careful he'll come after me

So bring me no ring, groom me no groom, find me no find

Catch me no catch… so long as it's still Dukat!

I've got a few more of these songs, so if you want me to swallow my pride and post more, review, review, review!