"Are you going?"
Absynthe turned her head slightly to Lily, who was holding an elegant white dress in front of a mirror, turning to different sides, and raising her eyebrows to different expressions with each turn.
She was talking about the upcoming Yule dance that took place before all the students went home for the holidays. Absynthe sighed. She really wasn't sure if she would go, or lounge around her common room while the rest of her classmates danced and laughed the night away. She would have liked to go with Remus, but as they had not yet told anyone about "them", not to mention he wasn't even going, she wasn't sure if there was a point to it at all. He gave no real reason as to why he wouldn't be attending, but he did start to look rather sickly, so she didn't push the issue.
"Not sure," Absynthe mumbled, leaning against the sink.
Lily tossed the dress over the doors to one of the stalls and put her hands to hips. Kia and Abysnthe both shook their head. Whenever she did that, it reminded them of a housewife that had waited all night for her husband to show up and when he did he smelled intensely of booze, "Not sure? Oh you are sure, because you're going. I don't even know why I asked., what else would you do?"
"She has a valid point," Kia added.
"Well, I was just thinking about lounging around the common room, catch up on reading or something," Absynthe lied.
"You hate to read," Kia exclaimed.
"No, you're going. I will not allow one of my best friends to sit alone, you'll have fun, I promise," Lily said. She picked up the dress and walked out of the bathroom before Absynthe could have another word.
"She's right, ya know?" Kia smiled and followed Lily.
"Of course she is," Absynthe mumbled to herself. However, she wasn't really sure about it. She had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. Then a thought came to her head. James was going with Lily, Remus wasn't going, Sirius was going stag, so who was Kia going with? She hadn't bothered to ask, but now that she thought about it, Kia would never go without a date. She ran out the bathroom and tagged Kia and Lily walking toward their common room. "Hang on a sec, Lily and James are going together, but who are you going with?"
Kia turned for a second, her cheeks turning pink, "It's a surprise."
Kia stepped out the portrait hole, wearing a long bubble-gum pink dress that fit every curve to her body. She had to hem it up earlier as it even longer when she bought it. For the first time in public since before she could remember, she left her hair down, it lightly curled around her shoulders.
Peter was standing in black dress robes, and despite himself his jaw dropped. He had always thought Kia was pretty, but had never seen her like this, he wasn't even sure if he could bring himself to speak. Why had she said yes? She could have gone with anyone else, but that thought also gave him strength. She could have gone with anyone, but she chose him.
"You look... beautiful, if that even justifies it," Peter said, surprising himself for not stumbling over his own words.
Kia's face went pink, "Thank you, shall we go?"
He linked his arm around hers and they started to the Great Hall.
Luckily for Abysnthe, she had packed a dress just incase she had decided to go, or forced against her will. It was blue and laced up tight around her top half and bushed out past her waist. The most she could do with her hair was put into tiny pigtails. After standing in front of the mirror, and everyone in her room and already left, she finally ventured her way to the Great Hall. It looked beautiful, the ceiling was made to look like snow was falling around them and everything seemed to sparkle and shimmer. When she arrived, Lily and James were already on the dance floor, completely engrossed in each other and Kia was attempting to dance with Peter. Absynthe did a double take. Peter? When had this happened? Kia was moving graceful as usual, but Peter hadn't gotten the feel for it just yet, however they both had huge grins on their face. Absynthe was a little disappointed. Sure she would have fun while everyone else was ignoring her, too into their wonderful dates.
"Finally, a pretty face," a voice said behind her.
'Great,' Absynthe thought, 'stalker boy.'
She faked a smile and turned to see Sirius standing behind her, with his usual grin looking actually quite handsome. She could feel her normally pale face creep with a warmth and just got warmer at the thought of it.
"Just the reaction I was looking for," Sirius said with a slight laugh. He held out his hand, "Care for a dance?"
"Actually, I would rather not," Absynthe recovered as quickly as she could. How could she be thinking the things she was? Sirius Black good looking? Never. He was a conceited little prick that she used to play in the sand with. Besides, if only Remus was here, these awful thoughts wouldn't be here.
She turned her back and sat down at an empty table and put her chin in the palm of her hand. Of course she shouldn't have come, damn Lily for ever convincing her that this would be fun.
"Ah come on, just one dance," Sirius said, following Absynthe to the table. He was still standing, holding out his hand.
Absynthe looked over her shoulder and once again saw James, Lily, Kia and Peter all enjoying themselves and then noticed the horde of girls standing in a group staring over at Sirius, drooling like the dogs they were. At least she could a laugh at pissing them off. "Why the hell not."
Absynthe stood up and took Sirius' hand. The minute she grabbed his hand, something inside of her melted. She knew she shouldn't feel this way but something felt too right. Sirius wouldn't be afraid to tell anyone how he felt, no matter the circumstances, so why should Remus. It was a thought that bothered her day and night. Sure she agreed, but at the same time, why? Why did he still have to be distant. If you cared about someone, shouldn't you at least trust your friends in knowing?
To her surprise, Sirius moved easily, he definitely knew what he was doing. I guess that just comes with large rich families. Absynthe herself, had attended more balls then she cared to remember. Her mother had always taught her the proper etiquette that a young lady needed in front of large groups of people. Absynthe always hated it, why should she care what others thought of her? If they didn't want to get to know the real her, then it was their own damn fault. She wasn't about to perform tricks for people she didn't know just so they would like her. The only thing she did get out of all her lessons was learning to dance. She never minded dancing, as long as it was with the right person and Sirius was definitely the right kind of guy to dance with.
"You know this is nothing more than a dance, right?" Absynthe leaned in to say.
He put his lips right next to her ear, making her feel even more uncomfortable yet at ease, then she already was, "Of course."
And then, as if to damn what she had just spoken, the music had slowed down to a crawl. She looked to see James and Lily in a tight embrace, Lily's head resting on James' shoulder looking at complete ease. Sirius put his arms around her neck, as if somehow knowing Absynthe wouldn't allow anything closer.
"You said one dance, this is a second," Absynthe muttered.
"So I lied," Sirius simply said, a smile on his lips.
Absynthe couldn't resist, she put her arms around his waist, respectfully, just the way her mother had taught her. However, as the song progressed, Sirius moved closer and closer, and Absynthe's grip became tighter and tighter until you would have thought they were dating. The song's beat was back into the normal rhythm and everyone around them were dancing at a much faster pace, everyone except them. Absynthe had her eyes close and somehow she was completely at peace. This felt normal to her, as weird as it sounded. She was a complete hypocrite, she knew it, but it just felt right.
'I wonder what it is that Remus is doing...' she thought.
Remus.
Absynthe snapped back, "I have to go."
She turned away without allowing Sirius to say anything, if he did she just might stay and she couldn't do that. She went out through the huge doors and kept going till she was standing out in the actual snow, where real snowflakes were quickly gathering around her face. Tears were rolling down her face by now and she wasn't really sure why. She wasn't sure about anything right now, her entire body shivered, but she couldn't move. She was too afraid that he followed her. If she turned around he would be standing there and would want to know why she freaked out and ran off. What could she tell him when she didn't even know herself? But the cold began to overwhelm her and she was just getting wetter by the minute. As she turned, her fears came true. Sirius was standing on the top step, his hands deep inside the pockets of his robe, but he still had that damned smile on his face.
"It's very pretty out here, cold, but pretty." Was all he said. She made a motion to go around him, but one of his hands slipped out the pocket and wrapped around her arm. She stood completely frozen as the ground itself. Sirius pulled her closer to him, "You might catch a cold."
Tears began to fall down her face again. Inside she kicked herself for showing emotion like this. The only other people she cried in front of were Lily and Kia. She hadn't even cried in front of her own mother, it was proper, after all. Sirius reached with his other hand and wiped away the tears.
"It's okay, you know? You can care about someone, you can open up, the world won't judge you as hard as you think. You might find they find extremely beautiful and charming and the girl of their dreams," he said quietly.
He leaned his head down to hers and kissed her. She felt immediately warm inside and found herself liking this feeling and was kissing him back. Then Remus crept into her confused mind again and she pulled away and ran to her Common Room. She had no idea what to feel, what was right and what was wrong. She liked Remus a lot, he was kind, sweet and interesting once you got to know him, not to mention one of the better looking boys in the school. Then there was Sirius. They grew up together and although she forced herself to hate him at school, that was only because he ignored her when they got here. She held grudges long and they stayed strong, but Sirius had a way of charming her, his smile, laugh, his personality and pretty face. She threw herself into her bed and cried herself to sleep. The only thing she could think was where was he? Where was Remus when she needed him. If he had been there, none of this mess would have started. Or maybe it started before she thought it did. Maybe it was there the whole time?
