Moving On - Chapter 8

By Gimpy


Warmth washed over her in waves, chasing away the cool that had set in her bones. Glimmering light flickered across her face, highlighting and darkening her sour features. Her forest green eyes danced in the light as she watched, entranced by the flames of the fire before her. They peaked and then vanished, consumed by larger flickers as they tried to stretch their reach out to surpass the small fireplace. Rogue curled up closer to the radiating heat, wrapping the afghan tighter around her shivering form. She had discarded her drenched clothes for a pair of warm cotton sweats and still she couldn't shake the chill. The sound of rain hitting the sides of the apartment, the crashes of thunder and flashes of lightning only made it worse, each forcing a shiver down her spine.

Turning away from the fire, she took in the spacious apartment now blanketed in a darkened haze, the only source of light besides the fire coming from scarcely placed candles. The power had gone out a while ago. Even in the blackness she could still make out the tall, slender woman moving about in her large chefs kitchen. The blackout had hit midway through the brewing of a pot of coffee so the woman was now boiling water for Rogue's favorite tea, Earl Grey. A tender smile graced her when Mystique removed the bubbling water from the stovetop and started to pour it into a mug.

The woman looked up and softly whispered, "No sugar or cream?"

Lightly shaking her head, Rogue went back to staring at the flames, allowing them to entrance her again. Mystique agilely made her way across the hard wood, balancing the two mugs of tea and a bag of chocolate chip cookies. Letting the bag of cookies drop onto the younger woman's lap, she placed her own mug on the coffee table then handed the other to Rogue.

"Thanks," Rogue murmured, taking the mug and just holding it in her hands. The heat was exquisite and she quickly brought it to her lips to taste the warmth. A smile burst onto her face when she spotted which mug Mystique had picked out. Two cartoon baby ducks were chasing large cartoon bubbles with the goofiest looks on their faces. "Ah love this mug," Rogue chirped, turning the mug to watch as the bubbles wound themselves around the ceramic.

"I know," Mystique softly replied, falling into her wing backed chair on the other side of the fire. The two sat silently, sipping from their teas, enjoying the warm and comforting pause. Mystique spoke first, resting her mug on her bent knee. "I'm surprised you're here."

Glancing over the rim of her mug, Rogue responded, "Why? Cause yah tried ta kill me an' destroy the world which in turn led ta the death o' a great woman?" There was no sarcasm lacing her words, barely even anything bitter, it was a genuine question.

"That and how we left things between us." Mystique's tone deepened, sad lines creasing the blue skin.

Calmly Rogue watched the older woman as she dwelled in her guilt at what had happened between them. Frowning, she turned in her chair and eyed the woman. "Aren't they the same thing?" At the confused look on her counterpart's face Rogue leaned forward to take her hand. Instead she grabbed a cookie and leaned back. "What happened at Liberty Island an' Alkali Lake, your complete disregard for others, that's why Ah left. It's the same old argument we've always had."

"True… you understand why I did what I did though right?" Mystique's yellow eyes begged Rogue, pleading with her to understand her actions, however heinous. "I was doing my job, following what I believe in."

"Ah didn't quite get that back when yah still controlled mah life. All Ah wanted was ta get away an Ah never really thought 'bout your reasons… but Ah do now. When it comes ta your work nothin' else matters, not me, Jean or yah own life. Which is why your life could never be mine. Ah can't give mahself over ta somethin' like that, so completely as to disregard the safety of those Ah love."

"Isn't that what you've done? Living and working for Professor Xavier?" Mystique questioned, sipping at her tea.

The question shocked Rogue, forcing her into silence. Her brow furrowed and she answered sternly, "No. What yah do an' what Charles does are completely different."

A cold shrug followed her words and Mystique added, "You disregarded me."

"Ah never did such a thing an' Ah never would," Rogue protested.

The older woman's brow rose as she drawled out, "So that day on the Blackbird--"

Again Rogue stumbled for what to say, her mouth opening and closing several times before she let out an exasperated sigh. "That was 'bout Erik an' if Ah remember correctly, yah were mockin me an' hangin' off that bastard like some hussy outta a rap video," she snapped back. "What's this 'bout, Raven?"

Mystique hesitated, stalling herself by taking a cookie out of the bag and taking a nibble from the side. She chewed it slowly and Rogue just watched, waiting for her to swallow and answer her question. When she finally did, the crumbling mass in her mouth just slipped away, forcing her to talk. "I'm just making sure you know what side you're on and if that's the right side for you, that's all."

Rogue stared at the ocean blue woman with a very miffed expression on her face. "There is no way Ah could ever confuse which side Ah'm on an' if it's the right side for meh. At the mansion, we care 'bout others, we go out o' our way to protect others. Yah don't, no one matters ta yah as long as yah get the job done…" Rogue paused, the blood in her veins on the verge of boiling. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm herself before she spoke again. "That's not somethin Ah could ever do… An yet it just comes so easily to yah… Ah don't know how yah manage it," she muttered sadly, shaking her head. "Ah know yah understand what it is ta care… Ah just don't get how yah can just turn it off the way yah do…"

And as much as she wanted to, she could never hate Mystique. The older woman had been an anchor for her when she'd had nothing left in life. Rogue may have hated her actions, her choices, hated that she had a stake in what happened to Jean and the destruction it had caused, but she couldn't hate the woman behind it. It sickened her, that she could forgive so willingly, that harboring hate like everyone else she knew was not a trait she possessed. When it came to others she couldn't stand to see them hurt and there was always an underlining belief that there was good in everyone. If given the chance she'd probably forgive Erik, which made her wonder, if it's so easy to forgive others why couldn't she forgive herself?

A look of sorrow crept across Mystique's face and she bowed her head away to mutter softly, "All I've ever known is hatred Marie and it's easier then caring."

"Do yah ever wanna stop?" Rogue softly asked, completely forgetting the ducklings resting on her mug of cooling tea. "Ah mean, do yah ever think that maybe what yah do only aggravates the situation? All the terrorist acts yah do only fuels their hatred for us?"

"Marie," Mystique ground out, not wanting to follow the path to an argument they'd had so many times before. "It's my life, my beliefs and I know they aren't yours, I know I drove you out of my life because of it but nothing you ever say will change who I am."

Bowing away, forcing her eyes to drink in the dancing flames, Rogue conceded to that, softly nodding her head. As much as she wanted her to change it would never happen and she knew that once they parted way they would revert to being enemies again.

Mystique's surprisingly soft but scaled hand found her covered arm and squeezed. When Rogue's eyes met hers she smiled softly. "You can't say that I've never done anything good, I took you in off the streets didn't I? Gave you a place to live, fed and clothed you."

"An Ah'm grateful for that," Rogue smiled back though it never quite reached her eyes. "Ah am… even though Ah have more voices in mah head on account of mah time with yah then Ah ever did livin on the streets…" A tear formed at the edge of her green eyes and she bowed even further away from the older woman. Memories flowed through her, cutting like a knife into her resolve.

"I'm sorry for that… I never meant to-" Mystique started, reaching out to the young woman.

Rogue pulled back and stopped the apology before she could get it all out. "Ah don't blame yah… much… an Ah don't hate yah for it. Ah learned a lot from yah an for a while ah was loved." It was all she could do not to cry as she remembered all the events leading up to this point. The tears were threatening to fall and she held herself tighter. "Ah've messed it up, Ah've messed it all up," she cursed, the words spitting from her mouth.

Placing her mug on the coffee table, Mystique took Rogue's from her shaking hands and did the same. Taking her gloved hand in hers she whispered softly, "What happened?"

Sniffling, Rogue eyed their entwined hands, trying to remember a time when the older woman had showed such open affection for her. Sucking her bottom lip into her mouth, she muttered sorrowfully, "They know."

Shock shined on the cerulean woman's face followed swiftly by a lack of surprise. "It was bound to have happened, you couldn't keep our connection a secret for that long, not with the enemies we've made together," she reasoned, trying to ease the young woman.

"They don't know 'bout yah," she muttered, hesitating before speaking again. "Someone… sent 'em mah box."

An exasperated scoff echoed in the darkened room, a crash of thunder following it. "You and that stupid box. I told you it would bring you nothing but trouble! But no! You needed to punish yourself. Don't you think you've suffered enough?" Mystique barked out.

Rogue faltered for an answer, her frustration growing. "No! Ah don't, but someone is deliberately tryin ta ruin mah life… an it's workin… Everyone knows now exactly what kinda monster Ah am, an' Ah couldn't… Ah couldn't stand ta see it on their faces."

"So you ran." It was a statement, not a question, and it held a tint of accusation that hit Rouge hard.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she bit out, "Like always, yes. Ah ran, happy?"

"No, of course not." Mystique's hand tightened on hers. "Your pain would never make me happy… It's just… you run so much, Marie. When things get tough for you, you take off. And I had hoped…" Mystique cut herself off, pulling back from the trembling girl.

"Yah had hoped what?" Rogue pushed, turning to the steely woman.

Sighing, Mystique ran a slender blue hand through her fire red hair. "As much as I disagree with that professor of yours… He offers you something stable, something I can't. I had hoped that you could have made a life for yourself there. Don't look at me like that, I do care about you. You were my daughter for three years, you still are in my heart."

Silence followed, Rogue trying to process the outward declaration of love though the word was never used. "Ah care for yah too…"

"Then stop running," Mystique quipped, her voice taking on a motherly tone. "I know you're clinging on to a hope that you can keep me in your life, but Marie, my path has been set in stone. Yours is up for grabs and what you decide now will affect the rest of your life. I want that to be great and it if means me stepping back, then so be it."

Leaning onto her bent knees, Rogue eyed Mystique through the corner of her eye. "Ah don't wanna lose yah, yah mean so much ta me."

"I know," Mystique cooed, brushing her thumb warmly over Rogue's gloved hand. "But we lead different lives and I'd never be accepted in yours. You can forgive because it's your nature," she murmured, her free hand lovingly brushing back a few damp strands of hair. "They wouldn't and I don't want them to. I don't make excuses for what I do and I won't make them for anyone."

It was hard for Rogue to hear, but it was the truth and she had to accept that. The only common ground they shared was their love for each other and it just wasn't enough. "Ah can't go back. Not yet."

"Marie they can help you, more than I can. You need support in this."

"What Ah need is ta fix this on mah own. If Ah'm gonna find out whose tryin ta hurt me I'm gonna have ta dig inta mah past. That means goin' places yah haven't even been. Ah won't drag them into this."

"Why? To save your pride or your dignity?" Mystique snapped.

"No, more like mah privacy. There are just some things Ah don't want them ta know an' right now my only lead is a necklace mah mom gave me. Whoever is doing this found it an Ah don't know how… no one but Mama an' me knew 'bout it which means Ah gotta go home--" Tilting her head in Mystique's direction she sighed. "Which Ah can't do with them by mah side, an' the moment Ah step outta that door, Charles will find me."

"You," Mystique droned, grabbing the now empty mugs from the table. "Can't hide behind my metal walls just because they protect you from Cerebro. You have to deal with this." Idly she made her way into the kitchen and proceeded to clean the mess she'd made making the tea.

Curling in on herself, Rogue let Mystique's words settle in her mind. "Ah will… Can Ah use your phone?"

"Of course, you know where it is," Mystique responded, a motherly tone still lingering in her voice.

It was a struggle for Rogue to stand but she forced herself out of the comfortable chair. She felt Mystique's eyes on her as she padded her way across the dimly lit room. Standing before the sleek black phone, she harnessed as much strength as she could and picked it up, dialing a number she knew off by heart. With every ring her heart sang further into her stomach. When it was finally picked up, she nearly jumped, her tightly wound nerves screaming.

"Hello," a warm, male voice flowed from the speaker and managed to ease her quickened heart. His was a voice she would never tire of, it was baritone, distinct and compelling. The questioning hello was repeated and she sighed.

"It's me," she murmured, her tone barely above a whisper.

"Rogue," The Professor crowed, her name falling from his lips like a warm wind and she knew he was smiling. "You've had me worried."

"Ah know… its good ta hear your voice," Rogue replied, her own smile echoing his.

"And yours." The Professor paused, taking his time to formulate a question that he knew she would answer. "I suppose asking where you are would be pointless, though I am curious as to how you've deflected Cerebro."

"It would an' Ah just might tell yah one day," she teased, the common thread she shared with her mentor and surprising friend breaking past her nerves.

"So there will be a one day? You aren't leaving us forever?" Though there was humor in his words there was a serious undertone that spoke of his fears, fears of never seeing her again.

"An' miss our regular chess games? Never," she teased, her own voice lacking the humor.

"You need to come home," he murmured. "A certain pair of men are getting very testy and I'm afraid they may permanently scar Miss Lee if she continues to nag them."

She smiled at the thought of both Logan and Scott ripping into the small Asian girl but it faltered quickly. "Ah know, Ah do," she whispered back. "Ah just need time ta figure this out, ta fix it. But in order ta do that, Ah need a huge, huge favor of yah, one that if the others were ta find out about, they'd get mad, real mad but ah wouldn't be askin' if it weren't absolutely necessary," she bubbled out the long sentence, only taking a breath near the end when she was certain she'd said everything she could.

There was another pause and she feared he was going to deny her this one request. "I'll do anything I can to help as long as you promise to come home when this is taken care of."

Relief washed over her along with a saddened smile. "If Ah'm still welcomed after everythin' is said an' done, Ah promise yah that Ah will."

"Then all that I have is yours."

The smile on her face fell and the young woman grew serious. The favor she needed meant deceiving everyone and she wasn't even sure she wanted to do that. In the end she knew without a doubt she had to, so she asked and he hesitated.

"If they were to find out," he droned, not liking the mental image forming in his mind at the bodily harm that could result from all this.

"Ah know… an' Ah'll understand if you say no but Ah just need 'til mornin', a full twenty-four hours at most," Rogue replied, trying to ignore the sound of her desperate voice.

"I can give you until morning only because Mr. McCoy has them barricaded in the med lab. They haven't been resting much," Xavier mused, a smile appearing on both their faces. "I may be able to get you until this time tomorrow, they have a few of their own leads they want to follow."

Relief washed over the lithe girl and she gushed out, "Thank yah, Ah mean truly thank yah."

"You are more then welcome… just know that I will only hold off on using Cerebro. If they find a way to track you without it I will not step in."

"Ah understand an Ah wouldn't expect anythin less from yah," she warmly responded and then proceeded to thank him again. Solemnly they said their good-byes with Rogue promising to stay safe and Charles promising to hold them off as long as he morally could.

Rogue placed the phone back down, wrapped herself tighter in the afghan and somberly made her way into the large and open kitchen.

"What now?" Mystique asked, coming to stand next to the forlorn woman.

Running a tempered hand over her face Rogue removed herself from the warm afghan and tossed it aside. "Ah get dressed an' then hit the road, try an' get ta Meridian before mah time runs out." At her own words, Rogue moved to the dryer where her clothes, still damp due to the blackout, were hidden.

"You mean 'we', don't you?" Mystique said, stilling Rogue's movements.

Turning on the older woman, an utterly shocked look formed on her face and she echoed, "We?"

Shrugging, Mystique walked past the shorter woman and into her room. She returned with a new and completely dry change of clothes. "I'm between jobs right now, besides what kind of surrogate mother would I be if I let you do this on your own?"

Rouge took the offered clothes, stripping out of the others and putting them on without a second thought. "Are yah sure yah want ta do this?" she questioned, pulling her hair out from underneath the new shirt.

As an answer, Mystique's blue scales faded away into honey-toned skin, her eyes turning blue and her wavy red hair shifting to curly golden locks. "Do you want me to?"

Smiling her first true and earnest smile in the last few hours, she pulled the other woman into a tight hug, whispering a teary affirmation and thank you into her ear. Mystique simply smiled and ushered the now jean clad, leather coated girl out the door.

As much as Rogue wanted to take Logan's truck Mystique's car was quicker, so together they hit the road, rain pelting against the windshield, flashes of lighting illuminating the powerless and darkened streets.

To be continued…


Author's Notes: It's been awhile I know, my only excuse is lack of confidence. I lost my ability to believe in myself as a writer. The last chapter was a hard one for me for reasons unknown to me, then when my review count went down it shot my confidence down along with it. No matter how hard I tried I just could not write this chapter. I've cried over it, I've fretted over it and I've cursed at it. Add on to that the amount of sleep I've been getting lately (less then 20 hours on average in 5 days) and you have one very stressed out writer. It wasn't until two days ago that I found out there were some technical difficulties concerning the ability to review. Suffice it to say I felt like an idiot and got to work right away. So here it is, it's been a long time coming and I'm still not so sure about it so just let me know - even if its one word.

Gimpy


Roguechere:
Have I told you how much I love you? I love your reviews, they are always so involved and I like the insight. No Logan and Scott banter here but look out for the next chapter - If it goes according to my plan you are going to love it! Thank you for bringing up the necklace, it actually has altered my plot a little or should I say a lot which is a good thing cause this stories course was looking a little sad. Thank you so much.

Aquarius Angel: Thank you, it took me awhile but I am healthier - as for unanswered questions… that may last a little longer but not by much.

Jupiterhime: Much love… one of my favorite saying, thank you for that. My plot is on the verge of some major overhauling and more twists are on its way - I just hope that you guys can hang in there even with the lack of answers.

AC: Aww thank you, I love Scott/Logan/Rogue triangles to though who I'm partial to I can't say. I love the idea of both couples though I started off a Logan/Rogue.

Thank you ladies for the reviews and just hang on a little while longer - I've got a few roller coasters coming your way.