Chapter 3
Morning After Part A
Rating: M for some sexual references (part A) and one curse word used for emphasize (part B)
Author's note: First off, this got rather long so I divided the chapter into two parts.
Secondly, "Let sleeping dogs lie" kind of ruined the believability of Foreman consoling Cameron thing in the pervious chapter (I was using him call her a friend in love hurt as my justification for that stuff) O well. Lastly, I really I'm trying to improve my grammar but it a weak point and I know it. Any non-flame type feed back is appreciated
Disclaimer: If I owed House. I wouldn't be in a cheap state college would I?
Dr. House was in his office waiting for the rest of his team to arrive, he had been the first one in on this morning, a clear sign that Cuddy was right; House was up to something. Chase and Foremen walked in together clearly oblivious to their boss's early arrival.
"You know what I think House's problem is? The pricing on the hooker market must have gone up; he's pissed he can't get the five dollar special anymore." Foremen told Chase as he walked to the coffee maker.
"No, I think House's problem is… He's Here!" Chase shouted, finally noticing House sitting in a chair observing the two of them.
"What do you mean… He's Here!" Foremen gasped as he made the same observation his colleague made a second earlier.
"Good morning, gentleman" House said, in his best evil super villain voice, spinning his cane slightly as he spoke. The two ducklings secretly admitted to themselves that House did look a little bit scary, submersed in the shadows of the closed blinds behind him
"So why are you here so early? Do we have some super mysterious case we need to solve?"
"Oh I have a fun day planed for us, as soon as Cameron gets here, but while we are waiting I need a consult" House hobbled over to the whiteboard. "Yesterday, I found a brand new STD. It presents with an inability to do a proper differential diagnoses, so far, Dr. Cameron is patient zero and the infection has spread to Dr. Wilson and Dr. Chase. Hmm… all doctors you think maybe we've discovered the first very first nosocomial STD."
Chase smirked slightly "very funny".
Foreman, remained completely unphased, but after a moment decided to comment. "You know something, House there are a lot of things that could be said about your behavior, about how you treated Cameron yesterday, but I'm not going to say anything. You know why? I had a nice discussion with Cameron yesterday. As I'm sure you know, different women respond differently to pregnancy. For some women they are never as happy and cheery as when they have that pregnancy glow." Foreman closed the gap between him and House and was now standing directly in front of House grinning evilly. "And I can safely tell you that Cameron is not! One of those women" Foremen said as he shook his head for emphasize. "And it may not happen right away, but eventually Cameron's hormones and your comments are going to collide and I just hope I'm there to see it because the fireworks display will be spectacular." It was at this point that Dr. Cameron walked into the office.
"Well speak of the pregnant she-devil and the pregnant she-devil shall appear." Was House's only greeting to the young immunologist. Cameron walked to the coffee pot and let out a sigh as she saw House's STD diagram out of a corner of her eye. Pouring herself a cup Cameron, spoke "Hey, guys I got a question."
"What now? Chase wondered to himself, after yesterday's fiasco he half expected Cameron to tell the group she had the four horsemen scheduled for a visit and needed someone to do a consult. They couldn't be expected to bring the apocalypse with runny noises, now could they?
"I'm selling my car; know of anyone who's buying?"
House put on a fake expression of being impressed, before speaking. "Wow… you guys see what she doing don't you?" House pointed to each of the ducklings as he spoke "After the nuclear bombshell she dropped on us yesterday, she trying to diffuse the situation by announcing something mild and trivial. It's…. clever"
House walked over to his desk as, Cameron gave the car's details to Foreman and Chase. Picking up the files he took from the clinic yesterday, House dropped the stack on the table. The three ducklings stopped conversing and looked at the stack of files in front of them.
"What are those?" asked Cameron
"Our playtime activity for today" answered House "but first you have to go to the principle's office, young lady" House handed Cameron a memo asking her to go to Cuddy's office at her earliest convenience.
Cameron was standing in front of Cuddy's desk trying to think of her response to the topic she knew was inevitably going to come up.
Cuddy looked up and spoke, "OK, Cameron what did House do this time?"
"Nothing" Cameron muttered, mentally she added the footnote "except me"
"Now Cameron, I get you have a thing for House and may not want to turn him in but… I took a trip by the nurse's station today and well… I'll be blunt the only other institution in the state of New Jersey that has that much gambling money following through it is in Atlantic City! Since you and House's names showed up on most of those bets, I really rather find out what going on now rather then later… spill it Cameron!
Cameron squirmed for a moment and decided "spilling it" would be the easiest way to handle this. "Like a band-aid" she thought to herself as she let the words out.
"I'm pregnant"
Cuddy threw a friendly smile at Cameron "That great, but I don't know what that has to do with Dr. Hou…o…se" Cuddy froze in place as the realization dawned on her. Her mind reeled as two distinct possibility formulated in her mind. On one hand, she always wanted House to be more like the rest of the human race. Why knows? Maybe having a child would soften him up a bit. Maybe one day she could hire a legal team that didn't need to be on prescription headache meds. The other side of her mind however, was busy with a much more ominous possibility. Soon there might be two Houses running around the universal. Pretty soon, there. could. be. two. Houses. running. around. her. hospital. The second thought create a rather strange site, a Lisa Cuddy complete and totally at a loss for words.
"It might not be him" Cuddy's expression changed slightly "… it could be Dr. Wilson… or Dr. Chase"
"I…see" Dr. Cuddy, unlike what House would do in her place, wisely decided to resist the urge to ask Cameron if she was trying to sleep with the entire hospital. She continued to stare at Cameron as thou she expected her to continue.
Cameron quietly answered, "That's it" to the unasked question
"Of course" Cuddy snapped out of her trance and immediately went in to professional mode. She quickly started rambling off stuff about maternity leave, accommodations, and the hospital daycare center.
"Well if you need anything, you got all the numbers and by the way, I hear Dr. Henderson down in maternity has started a free library you might want to check it out." Cuddy sighed in relief as Cameron left her office, she decided to call legal if nothing else this new piece of information would explain why Dr. Wilson went to them, livid over a bunch of defected rubbers.
"What do you mean you already know?" Cuddy asked as she heard the voice on the other end talking "We've been talking about it all day, here let me put you on speaker" Cuddy could hear several voice talking.
"I got twenty on boy wonder (Wilson)"
"I still think it madman."
"You know what I don't think it is any of them I think it bulldog (Foremen)"
"Could you please save your illegal gambling for another time?" Cuddy braked over the line.
"Ok everyone grim up mother-hen is upset."
Dr. Cameron returned to House's office after her rather uncomfortable meeting, with Cuddy
"You were better off in Cuddy's office, House here has us confused for slave labor," Chase said.
"We are not breaking into that many houses, we don't even have medical justification to do this, these people have colds. I don't known if you're planning a career change to bank robbery but practice on your on time." Foremen added.
"OK, fine Foremen, you don't have to do it then." House responded "I'll only send the white folks here to do it. Wouldn't want to be accused of suppressing the Blackman.
"But Foremen is the one who knows how to do that stuff" Chase protested, Foreman rolled his eyes.
"and these people houses are all over town. We will be doing break-ins all day," added Cameron
"Will you two better get going then"
"Ok what are we looking for then?" asked Chase
"Anything" House responded
"Thanks for the crystal clear directions boss" Chase responded as he and Cameron walked out the door.
"You think this is even a patient's house?" Cameron asked as they pulled up to the address listed in their medical file "We are over two hours away from the hospital there is no way we have the closest free clinic" Chase pondered the question for a moment "Maybe another ex-girlfriend he wants us to play peeping-tom with? Let's just get it over with"
Chase and Cameron rummaged the women's house trying to find some sign of "anything". They eventually reached the bedroom and Chase started rummaging through the women's closet "Hey…Cameron, either House has a really hot ex-girlfriend or I just figured out why she going to a doctor two hours away from were she lives" Chase pulled a stack of pornographic DVD's from the closet, all of them featuring their patient on the cover.
"Somebody is ashamed of their profession." Chase noted as he started to place the DVD cases into his bag. Cameron eyed Chase suspiciously. "What?" Chased asked innocently.
"You know most people have found more high-tech way to steal pornography." Cameron glanced at the titles in the bag. "Anal Invaders 35 I didn't know you were into that Chase"
"I'm not…I'm taking them back to House"
"I didn't know House was into that"
Cameron continued to read out the titles in the bag "Anal Addict 38, Anal Assault 5, Anal Amusement 4, Anal Attack… Boy, porn directors sure like alliteration"
"Maybe House is trying to recommend you a new contraception method" Chase joked, trying to hide the fact that his face was turning a slight red.
"Come on Chase, we got what we need, let's go break into the next guys house"
Back in Princeton Plainsboro, Dr. Wilson had finally managed to corner House in his office. "House you busy?…what I was going to say yesterday was"
"What you were going to do yesterday was apologize for a crime you couldn't be sure you even committed… but go on." House replied
"Ok…What I was going to say was if I knew you and Cameron had a thing I would have never."
"First off we don't have a thing. Secondly, how do you know you slept with Cameron after I did? For all you know I could be the one that is risking our friendship for a nice bit of fuzz" House replied.
"You wouldn't dare the meal privileges alone will keep you in check."
"Well, you are right about that. After all your pancakes alone come in so many different flavors, while Cameron, she only comes in one sickeningly sweet one." House reached under his desk "and by the way you need new Tupperware" House threw a Tupperware box at Wilson. The bottom of the box was cut open cleverly avoiding opening the top, which included today's Cuddy sponsored warning note.
"Touché" Wilson remarked.
House got out of his seat and started to move towards the door.
"Wait…are we ok?" Asked Wilson
"Ya we're ok, our friendship is still tight" House eyes moved as though the gears in his mind were struggling to finish his thoughts "about as tight as the little pink slabs of meat that got us into this mess"
Wilson thought about House's last comment, as he watched House hobble his way out the door. Wilson had a theory about House, he believed that there was actually a kind of restrained art to being such unrestrained jackass; of course, anyone who he told this theory to wrote it off as a sign of Stockholm. "Slabs of meat" Wilson thought to himself had House said "little pink slices of heaven" or "the pink velvet vice" or some other more eloquent synonym for Cameron's vagina. It would have been typical House, but his choice words, so devoid of wit, the unnecessary crude vulgarity of it. Wilson was positive now, as much as none would believe it, as much as House wouldn't admit it. Wilson knew it; House was starting to crack ever so slightly.
