A/N: sorry for the wait. final exams, schedule changes, you know how it is. plus i'll be gone all weekend.
but before i go, here's a little something to keep you entertained (i hope).
warning: all alexis fans have had their proper warning. minor bashing of your favorite "jaden's canon girlfriend". ehh, personally not mine, but anyway, don't flame me for it. find something i forgot to mention to criticize, if you must.
okay, so where were we? oh, right...
Jerk.
Alexis shivered. It was freezing out. What had she been thinking, going out dressed like this? Tiny snowflakes began to touch down on her bare arms. When did winter break start again? The first thing she was going to do when she got home was change into her pajamas and curl up in bed.
It would be useless, though, trying to go to sleep. She'd just lie awake and wonder what was going on with Zane.
She knew it was none of her business, but she couldn't help it. Ususally, when they were at the lighthouse, they would talk about their brothers. Hers was missing, and he wanted his to be.
Didn't he realize how lucky he was, to even have Syrus there with him? An adoring baby brother that loved and admired him? And he was ashamed of him, thought he didn't even belong at the academy. Didn't even want him around.
And what about poor Syrus? She hadn't seen him since that morning. Maybe he had gone to see Zane. Maybe it had ended on a bad note.
No doubt in her mind that if there had been some kind of disagreement, Zane had been the one to cause it. Alexis just couldn't imagine Syrus doing anything to upset anybody, at least not on purpose, and certainly not this badly, that Zane would still be in such a bad mood at the end of the day about it.
What if he'd said or done something to hurt Syrus' feelings? Would he even be sorry?
Then again, if it had been Zane's fault, how would Syrus have reacted? He was easily upset, but it was a more passive emotion, and certainly he wouldn't be angry at Zane. So either she was completely off-track, or it must have been a terrible fight.
Alexis would have believed either one.
I just hope Zane's going to get over it. And I hope whatever happen, Syrus is okay--
"Syrus!"
Alexis started, and turned around.
"Jaden!" she called, as he wandered down the path. "What are you doing out here?"
He looked up at her, surprised to see her in the woods this late at night.
"I was looking for Syrus," he explained. He looked about halfway out of his mind, worried and frigtened. "Have you seen him anywhere?"
Alexis shook her head. "Not since this morning. Why?"
"I woke up and he wasn't there," Jaden answered. "And I don't know where he is. I'm getting kind of worried, and he left his blazer, so he's probably freezing--" He held up the red jacket, as if to make the point that Syrus should have been in it.
"What do you think happened to him?" Alexis asked.
"I don't know. He told me he was going to wash up, so I stayed back in our room, and I guess I dozed off, and then I woke up and he was gone, so I went looking for him, and he wasn't there, and I found this, and now I don't have any idea where he--"
"Jaden, calm down!" Alexis said, putting her hands on his shoulders and shaking him. "Maybe he just went for a walk or something. Who knows, he might be back by now. Why are you so worried?"
His expression changed abruptly, and he fell silent. Looking up at her, he finally replied, "I can't tell you."
"Why not?"
He turned his back to her. "I... I just can't, okay?"
"If you just told me, maybe I could help you look for him."
Jaden considered it for a moment. Then, slowly, "You promise not to tell anybody?"
"Promise." Alexis held her hand up, though since he wasn't even looking at her, the gesture was wasted on him.
Silence.
"Jaden...?" She cautiously touched his shoulder with her fingertips.
"He tried to kill himself."
"What?" Alexis jerked her hand back. He didn't just say... He couldn't have? Not Syrus. Sure, he could be depressed sometimes, but not that bad...
"I said, he tried to kill himself." Still he kept his back turned to her.
Alexis cringed. How could he say it so calmly? His best friend had nearly committed suicide, and now he was missing? And Jaden had no emotion whatsoever in his voice. How? Jaden was one of the most extroverted, emotional people she knew. Wouldn't something like this, and with Syrus being his best friend, bother him more than that?
"Jaden," she said softly. "I'm so sorry... why did he do it?"
Jaden was silent for a moment, and then, his voice heavy with resentment and rage, replied, "Zane."
Zane. So Alexis had been right. This was Zane's fault.
"What happened?" she asked softly. "What did Zane do to him?... Jaden? What is it? Are you all ri--"
She gasped, choking on her words, when she finally noticed the way Jaden was shaking. He hadn't moved, but he was so tense that he was beginning to stiffen up.
"Jaden." She approached him slowly, praying that she didn't startle him. He wasn't calm. He was so upset, so drawn with emotion, that he couldn't move.
"It doesn't matter," he growled. "We have to find him. Come on."
And without even looking back to see if she was following him, he walked down the path and deeper into the woods.
Alexis stood for a moment, unsure of what to do. She trusted Jaden. She knew he was just worried about Syrus. But... well, you never knew. She surely didn't want anybody else to lash out at her that night.
A deep shiver, starting in her chest, suddenly shot through her entire body, and she realized that she couldn't stay out dressed like this. But she had to help Jaden...
"Jaden, wait up!"
Shaking his head slightly, he turned around to spot Alexis trailing along behind him, rubbing her bare arms and shuddering violently.
"Are you okay?" he asked, still sounding a little dazed.
"Yeah... I'm j-just freezing," she stammered.
"Oh." Jaden shrugged off his blazer. "Here."
Hesitantly, she took it, and pulled it on. It didn't cover her chest (A/N: not. one. word.), but she was at least grateful to have something covering her arms.
"Uh... thanks." She blushed slightly, but Jaden took no notice.
"Welcome," he mumbled, before cupping his hands around his mouth and shouting, "Syrus! Sy, where are you, buddy? Syrus!"
Alexis looked away. It stung to see someone she cared about in such a state of panic. Listening to his forlorn cries, one person in an entire forest, looking for one other person that he was worried to death about.
"Come on, where are you?" His voice cracked, and he panted heavily, probably trying to not cry. "Syrus..." His voice faded to a harsh whisper. "Sy..."
Alexis shut her eyes. It was downright painful to hear. It wasn't just because he was her friend.
She couldn't pin the vague, empty ache inside of her. Couldn't give it a name. How exactly did she feel about him? It certainly wasn't love- she hadn't knwon him that long. All she knew was that he was a great duelist, a nice guy--and totally oblivious.
He didn't know, which surprised her. It seemed like everybody else knew she liked him. Or if they hadn't figured it out yet, they at least suspected it.
But it wasn't even that she was sympathetically feeling his pain over losing Syrus. The identity of this new emotion gnawing away at her heart wasn't sympathy at all. She clutched the sleeves of his blazer and bit her lip. Now was neither the time nor the place.
Never, in a million years, would she have ever believed that she'd ever be standing in the middle of the woods, freezing to death, consumed with jealousy toward a boy for stealing the affections of somebody she liked.
It was absolutely horrible, and she knew it. Syrus had tried to commit suicide, and could be dead for all they knew.
"He could be dead," she murmered aloud to herself.
"Alexis, don't talk like that," Jaden muttered. "He... he can't be... Syrus! Where are you? Syrus!" His voice cracked, and faded to a whisper. "No... no, no, he can't be dead... no..."
She watched him wander off, deeper into the woods, fading from sight into the haze of falling snow all around them. She didn't think he even noticed that she hadn't followed him. She wasn't even too sure he really cared. He was totally oblivious to her, to the cold, to the greyish color his skin was turning, blindly searching for his lost friend in a torrent of sleet in a forest that seemed endless, well able to conceal the small boy.
"Syrus! Alexis, hurry!"
Snapping out of her reverie, she trotted down the path and into the clearing. She caught sight of Jaden, on his knees beside a large tree. Panting so hard it looked as if he might be sick.
"No..." she said, feeling her own stomach lurch. He'd found Syrus. He was kneeling over his unmoving body, choking from an overwhelming mixture of horror, disgust and grief. "No!" She hurried towards them, dropping to her knees beside Jaden, as he took the motionless body in his arms, cradling Syrus to him tightly and sobbing.
Alexis looked away. Wasn't this what she had always been hoping would happen? Syrus was gone, and now Jaden was all hers.
But it wasn't worth it. It just wasn't worth this...
She forced herself to look again. The moonlight was lost among shadows cast by clouds that were steadily bearing the snow. Only the silhuettes of the two boys were visible against the white veil surrounding them, shadows melded into one.
It wasn't her. It never had been her, and it never would be her. Even if Syrus was gone, there was no way she could ever take his place in Jaden's heart.
Dead or alive...
"Jaden!" Alexis cried. "Jaden, stop! Look!"
Startled from his mourning, he stared at her in shock, tears still in his eyes. "What? What is it?"
"Look, he's breathing! He's alive!" She placed a hand on Syrus' back. She thought it strange that his shirt was completely soaked. It wasn't snowing that hard. His back shifted slightly with each shallow breath. He was alive, but just barely.
"He.. is?" Jaden looked closely at his small companion. Sure enough, he was breathing. He wasn't dead!
But he would be soon if they didn't get him back home.
"Come on, we have to get him inside." He struggled to his feet, lifting Syrus up with him. He began heading toward the path, narrowing his eyes to see the way, carrying him in his arms.
Alexis smiled in spite of herself. It was almost a shame he wasn't awake to enjoy this. She was pretty sure how Jaden felt about him, but she'd always been vaguely aware that Syrus had felt the same way this whole time. He was simply more obvious about it.
She hurried to catch up with Jaden. He could probably use her help.
"Do you want me to come with you?" she asked. "Make sure he's all right?"
Jaden thought for a moment, before answering with a flat, "No."
"No? Why?" she asked. "I could--"
"No, I need you to do something for me."
"Oh. What is it?"
Jaden drew another deep breath. "Find Zane," he growled. "Tell him to come back to our dorm."
"But--"
"Alexis, go."
Alexis cringed. How many times would she have to hear someone speaking to her that way?
Resigned, she simply answered, "All right," and headed back in the direction the lighthouse. They were at another side of the woods, near the edge, where the trees began to thin and she could see where she was.
Anywhere but the lighthouse...
She wasn't looking forward to dealing with Zane again that night. But for Jaden's--and Syrus'--sake, she would have to.
Why did Jaden want her to send him there. Hadn't he told her that Zane was the reason Syrus had tried to kill himself? What did he want him there for? To make him feel sorry for what he'd done?
He probably didn't know that Syrus had been out all this time, and was nearly dead. But was it possible that he knew something like this was going to happen, even before it had?
Alexis shook her head. That was ridiculous. He'd find out about it after she told him. There was no way he could already know. If there was, wouldn't he have done something to stop it? She shuddered.
He probably wouldn't have.
