A/n: Only one review so far- thats not so spectacular and if I wasn't having so much fun with McCarthy's character I might just give this story up as a bad job. Please, please review if you like where this fic is heading so I'll know whether its worth pursueing any further.
Alexekia2222: Thankyou so much for reviewing, I hope you enjoy this next chapter and tell me what you think.
Chapter 2: If anyone wants me I'll be in my room
"Dare you to swap Snivellus' powdered toadstools for Dragon pellets" Hissed James as we buzzed around the potions dungeon trying to brew up a vile of Invisiblity elixir before the end of the lesson. I gave him a look- it was a good look which aptly portrayed exactly what I thought of his childish sadism that should have long been grown out of.
"Dragon't pellets are an intense aphrodisiac" I replied rudely- don't ask how I know that.
"Exactly- he'll be stradling Pr. Argoyle before the lessons over." He replied with a dark grin, his eyes glinting maliciously. I can't deny the comic value of watching Snape come onto our ogre of a potions master, but even I'm not that cruel, contrary to popular belief.
"Do it yourself, I don;t want any part in your heartless scheme to drive Severus mad." I retorted whilst trying to grind half a tablespoon of Bogart liver- a most odious task.
"No it'll be way to obvious- come on McCarthy, don't be a spoil sport." He whinged, blocking my path to our cauldron and fixing me with his best puppy dog look, which really wasn't very convincing.
"Sirius is over there, get him to do it." I said, waving my hand absently behind me as I gave him a swift knee to the groin and hopped over his writhing body.
"Nice one McCarthy" Remarked Sirius, surveying the groaning form of his best friend as he ambled over to steal our monkshood. James glared up at him, still clutching his abdomen as he attemtped to stand. I don't know why he was making such a fuss, I barely even tapped him but James always was something of a baby when it came to girl on boy violence.
"Was that really necessary?' He asked in breathless voice- I guess I must have knocked the wind out of him.
"Absolutely, I won't be bullied into your torture Snape campaign." Sirius raised an eyebrow at this- a very nice, perfectly arced eyebrow- I wondered whether he plucked them, and if so whether he could give me some pointers.
"Come on McCarthy, you know it'll be fun." He said in his most silky, persuasive voice, but luckily I was immune to his charms.
"You can flutter your eyelashes all you like Black, I'm above persuasion." He looked surprised- I don't think a girls ever refused him anything before- especially after he used that voice. But though I am not blind to the fact that Sirius is gorgeous, I guess I just don't see the wow factor- there are plenty of good looking, intelligent, vaguely amusing blokes out there- what makes Sirius any different? Besides I think its good for him that at least one girl doesn't fawn over him like he's Mick Jagger incarnate in wizard form.
"Fine then, I guess we'll just have to find a girl with a sense of humour." He sniffed, looking rather put out.
"I hear Becky Walken's always up for a giggle." I suggested. Sirius just smiled wryly and gave me the finger- I would have been mortally offended but I could see him point- Becky's a complete maniac who just happens to be insanely, obsessively in love with Sirius, in fact she keeps pulling out random pieces of his hair to make love potions with in the hope of making him feel the same way. It is my ultimate wish in life that one day she will succeed, and Sirius will become her love slave. I hear she's even made a life sized statue of him out of his used cigarette butts.
Janine and I were sprawled out in the common room, trying in vain to ignore the hefty amount of transfiguration homework lying in front of us.
"So what fantabulous plans shall we make for the weekend oh lesbo lover of mine?' I inquired whilst painting my nails a very sexy scarlet. Janine chewed thoughtfully on her quill for a moment, obviously considering the options. Personally I was up for getting shit faced in Hogsmeade.
"I hear some fifth year hufflepuffs are having a party in one of the basement classrooms." She offered after a while.
"Come on J- surely we can do better than a fifth year vomit fest." I sighed, pulling my new and improved less than impressed face- i think it still needed work though because Janine started looking at me weirdly and asking if perhaps I needed to take a trip to the bathroom.
"Did I hear someone say something about a party?' Asked a wonderfully familiar voice from above us before I was crushed by the weight of Sam Fitzgerald- the third member of our most awesome trio.
"Get off me your berk before I permanently disable a vital part of your anatomy." I squawked as he rolled over and settled himself between Janine and I- ah it was so good to see him again.
"Someone's in a pissy mood today- still not getting any eh Macca?' He asked in a bemused voice.
"Why does everyone always assume that my life revolves around sex?' I demanded grumpily, glaring up at his stupidly chiselled, ridiculously tanned face. If there's something I should mention early on about Sam its that he's outrageously, disarmingly goodlooking- something which could have serioulsy jeoparadised our friendship but remarkably didn't.
"If it'll put a smile back on your face you know I'm always available Mac.' He grinned cheekily causing me to exchange disgusted looks with Janine.
"Yuk- that would be like screwing my brother or something, not that I have a brother but I can imagine." I burst, trying to block the mental image from my already serioulsy warped brain. Sam looked crestfallen- like Sirius he finds it hard to accept that there are females out there who aren't begging to get into his trousers, however I suppose Janine and I were simply the exceptions that proved the rule as it was at this very moment that a group of sixth years decided to walk past giggling and giving him disgustingly obvious flirtacious glances. At least Sam felt loved again.
"So back to this party.' He said, redirecting the route of conversationg back to the forthcoming weekend.
"Guys we cannot spend our first weekend back with a bunch of kids." I moaned.
"Well I heard the Marauders are planning alittle welcome back get together on Friday night in the Room of Requirement for Hogwarts finest." Said Sam in a low voice, glancing round suspicioulsy to ensure we weren;t being overheard. Its ridiculous that they still use they're little club name in the seventh year, but I'm not going to pretend that I wasn't aching to go to that party. I had faith in Sam's abilities though, and I knew he could get us on the guest list- though he was fundamentally part of our camp, he still remained good friends with the boys in his dorm, namely Peter, James, Sirius and Remus- I suppose he needed a bit of testosterone fuelled conversation every now and then, something that they most definitely provided.
"Trust them to come up with something so utterly Elitist." I remarked tetchily, though I would have gladly bitten off my right arm in exchange for an invite.
"Oh come on Karen, its just what the doctor ordered." Said Janine, rousing from the thoughtful stupour she'd momentarily fallen into.
"I suppose it would give you ample oppertunity to converse with a certain Mr. Lupin" I replied with a sly smile, earning myself a sharp pinch in the arm- but boy was it worth it.
"What's this i hear- has our ickle Janey got a crush' Chimed Sam, grabbing her cheeks and making baby faces, causing Janine to flip out and tackle him to the ground.
"People please, there are minors watching." I shrieked, but to no avail- they were in fully fledged battle mode.
"Jane and Remus sitting in a tree K-I-S- awwww Jesus christ I think you broke something important" Groaned Sam, clutching at his 'ahem' nether regions.
"Hmmm what do we have here- public displays of affection? I never knew Jane had it in her" Remarked a rather bemused voice next to me. When did Sirius get here? I must have been to caught up in all the excitement to notice.
"Kids- can't live with them, can't live without them.' I sighed, shaking my head forlornly.
"I guess I should try and break it up, if Sam wants to keep the option of having children in the future open.' Said Sirius.
"I think its probably safer to let them battle it out alone- if anyone wants me I'll be in my room." I replied, climbing up the staircase to my dormitory with a vague plan of re-reading The Godfather before bed.
