Chapter One

Nadine felt as if she was locked inside a black room; feeling, hearing, but seeing nothing. Where was she? It seemed that all she could do was think, and even that ability was just coming to her. What was going on?

Silence. Silence everywhere around her. So silent it was almost deafening.

Then the whispers followed. Quiet voices far off, on the edge of hearing, speaking in a language she either didn't understand or couldn't hear clearly enough. She tried to move, but found to her frustration that she didn't have the strength for it.

"Amdirwen. Atula anan, Melamin. Nae saian luume."

Nadine heard a beautiful melodic voice speaking words to her she couldn't understand. It had a lilt to it and a softness that soothed her; eased her initial wave of panic. It seemed too far out of her range to grasp. Still Nadine reached out for it with all her soul. Finding she could not speak or move sent slivers of alarm through her and the darkness that she was engulfed in did nothing to reduce her fears.

Slowly she felt sensation come to her. Her limbs regained their feeling, she felt her heart pumping blood through her veins, felt her chest slowly rising and falling as she inhaled and exhaled. She heard the soft words grow clearer and more distinct, yet remain unintelligible.

Then the pain followed. Her head was throbbing like she couldn't have imagined possible. It was worse than any hangover she had ever suffered, and Nadine found herself wondering if perhaps she had got drunk last night, but then found she had no recollection of anything. The little bolts of pain that were searing through her limbs distracted her. They were somewhat dulled. Perhaps it was the work of sedatives? That would explain the sluggishness of her mind.

Carefully, she tried to move her arms, and then moaned softly under her breath when she felt how much that simple action hurt.

"Cuiveas. Tiro I quettar I quentan an le, haryon."

It was a different voice. Female. Despite it also being melodic and soothing, it held the distinct air of power, wisdom. It would have been calming, if not for the fact that Nadine couldn't understand a word being said. The feeling of terror came simultaneously with her doubts in regard to her state of mental well-being.

The feeling of soft fingers brushing a lock of hair off her forehead stilled her thoughts and body. They lingered for an instant before moving to caress her cheek tenderly.

Nadine opened her eyes, but saw only darkness. Her first instinct was to panic, but she forced the emotion down. She needed to stay calm, clear-headed. Carefully, she moved her hand to her forehead, fingering the bandages that covered her eyes and head.

Relief and hope filled her when she tried to speak once more and found that she was able to form words. Albeit it took her great strength and they were no more than a whisper, she was happy to settle for this for the time being.

"What's going on?" Her voice was raspy and Nadine wouldn't have recognized it as her own. "Where am I?" she asked, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. An inexplicable fear was growing on her face.

"You were involved in an accident. And you have been unconscious for four days, Melamin," a male voice from beside her spoke very slowly, taking her hand in his. It was cold. He wrapped his other hand around it, too. "But you're recovering swiftly," he added, thinking that might calm her.

Nadine's expression was one of bemusement. "An accident?" she asked, trying to recall anything of the sort. But she could not.

"Yes," he replied quietly. "You cannot remember?"

Digging through her memories for the answers she sought, Nadine couldn't remember anything but having just got into the car with Guy, and that was where the memory ended. Could she have been in a car accident? It seemed to be the only possibility. It scared her that she couldn't remember such a disturbing thing as an accident.

The man watched her carefully. She looked, if possible, even more frightened.

"I'm in the hospital, aren't I?"

The man looked over his shoulder at the figure standing silently by in the shadows, seeking help. None came, and he turned back to the woman lying before him in bed.

"Are you the doctor?" Nadine asked, her voice quivering.

At first, he wasn't sure if she was crying, but then he saw the tears start to stream down her face from under the bandages. The urge to take her in his arms and hold her until she was better was overwhelming, but for fear that he might hurt her he refrained and simply took her hand, offering her a gentle squeeze in encouragement.

"I can't remember anything," she cried. The tears began to stream over her cheeks in succession.

It was almost his undoing. But remembering what he had been told before, he closed his eyes in attempt to calm himself, distance himself. Snapping his eyes open, he looked at her stunned. The words she had spoken were registering only now. She didn't remember a thing.

"Your name is Amdirwen," he began. "You are in Lóthlorien. My name is Legolas. I'm your spouse. Do you not remember me at all?" Legolas asked, unsure if he could contain the fear that gnawed at his gut. He cast a helpless glance behind him, but again, he received no reaction.

"No! I'm Nadine," she argued, the tears never stopping, but determination now set firm on her face. "I don't know you." She dragged her hand away from him, shaking her head.

Legolas reached for her in an attempt to calm her, but the moment she felt him she shrunk horrified back against the bed. Her lack of memory frightened him, but the outright rejection hurt. He sat, bewildered. Although in the back of his mind he had known that something might go wrong, he had never anticipated something of this magnitude.

"Where's Guy? Is he okay?" Nadine suddenly asked. "Who are you?" Now that her mind was beginning to clear from the fog and thoughts were starting to run through her head like crazy, she felt the beginnings of panic tightening around her throat. Something was wrong, very, very wrong. She struggled to sit up, but the bout of nausea and sudden weakness held her back.

It tore at Legolas' heart to see her in such a state. He threw another look of utter helplessness at the figure behind him. He tried to gauge a reaction from her, but received none other than the offering of a small smile. However consoling that gesture might have been, it didn't ease Legolas' fears when he returned his gaze to the woman before him. So vulnerable and frightened she was; he could see it clear as day on her face.

Legolas' felt his annoyance up a notch with the woman behind him. Was it so hard to see that he needed help? That Amdirwen needed help? He could not do this on his own. Obviously, Amdirwen didn't believe what he said, but what could he offer but words of comfort if he didn't even have her trust? Wouldn't those words be empty to her without any meaning or familiar knowledge to cling to?

"Still your troubles." The words were no more soothing than authoritative, spoken by the extremely beautiful female that stepped out of the shadows, her white dress shimmering in the moonlight that streamed in through the open balcony. The Lady was looking directly into Legolas' eyes and he had the distinct feeling she was referring to him as well. "I do not know how your brother, Guy, fares or where he is exactly, but you need to concentrate on your own body. It needs to recover first, only then can you dwell on things from the past."

The woman's voice was soft, gentle, yet somehow commanding to Nadine's ears, and she found it strangely calming, like a silken blanket that erased all thoughts of unease from her mind.

Soundlessly, the Lady made her way closer to the bed, her graceful movements so fluid it appeared as if she was gliding. "As for your other questions, I am Galadriel and this is Legolas, your spouse. The rest you will learn in time. Now, set your worries aside and rest."

Nadine could do little more than allow her eyes to close, as she didn't seem to have a choice in the matter. It was as if at the woman's command they simply closed, whether she liked it or not. Soon, she found herself to be drifting further and further away until a dreamless sleep claimed her. She barely caught the last words spoken to her.

"Amin mela lle I love you, Amdirwen. Tiro tana oio Always remember that."


No birds sang that morning, though the air was clear and sweet. Legolas was standing at the side of a small clearing, surrounded by trees, great and small. Statues of Sindar Elves rose out of the earth and to his side stood a small fountain, bubbling water out of its mouth. In the centre of the clearing was a stone basin, held up by a short column covered by delicate white blossoms.

"Are you the doctor? I can't remember anything. Who are you? I don't know you."

He felt his body weaken at the memory of her words.

The night before, when the ritual had been conducted, his hopes had been so high. Finally, after such a long time, his love would be returned to him. And she had been, only in a different manner than he could have ever anticipated.

For a few short hours he had been at peace. Watching her sleeping form in bed, he could clearly remember the few days that he had done the exact same thing, and it almost felt like those times were back. It was then that he had again believed in the good wills of the Valar. He had thanked them many times that night for their generosity, which he knew he would never be able to repay.

But when she had awoken that morning, when she had told him that she did not believe him, that she was not his mate and that she did not know him…

He had left her then, because even in her sleep she had shed tears and it was too painful to bear the knowledge that she cried upon meeting him. If he hadn't left her at that moment, he was sure his heart would cease to beat.

"Haryonya Eryn Lasgalen Dear prince of Mirkwood."

Legolas looked up sharply and blinked in surprise. The Lady Galadriel stood at the fountain, wearing a flowing robe of white. A golden circlet rested on top of her hair.

When had she entered the clearing? Had he been so lost in his thoughts that he had not noticed her arrival?

"Sero, haryon Calm yourself, prince. Úmë nyarin le sérë ungwalya Did I not tell you to still your troubles? Le vá ortulu nat terë lumna osanwi You will achieve nothing by burdening yourself with these distressing thoughts." The Lady's lips did not move as she spoke to him through her mind.

"Mana osanwelya So what do you suggest I do? Hehta ilya i martië a cuilë ve oio Forget about all that has happened and live on as if everything is just like it has always been?" Legolas asked out loud, mild reproach detectable in his voice.

"Manen ná sina anwa How could this happen? Why does she remember nothing?" He glared at the Lady, knowing that it was folly to do so, but unable to help feeling resentment towards her. After all, she had been in charge of the ritual that had gone so terribly wrong.

Galadriel ignored his agitation. "You stayed firm in your decision to complete the ritual, and you were aware of the risks that it could bring about. Yet now you act as if you knew nothing about them."

Legolas took a deep breath, willing himself to be calm. He knew that the Lady was right. He had been fully aware of the risks. In spite of them, he had pushed on to perform the rite. Taking another deep breath, Legolas shot Galadriel an apologetic glance. "Edhoro nin Forgive me. This is hard."

"Then steel yourself, prince of Eryn Lasgalen, for it will only become much more challenging." The Lady Galadriel looked at him seriously. "Your reaction is understandable. But after a shock of this magnitude it is not out of the realm of possibility for there to be memory loss. You must allow her time."

"I will give her as much time as she will need," Legolas said firmly.

"Her memory will return once she's been given back her natural body."

Legolas listened intently to the Lady's words. "She will be given back her natural body?"

The Lady Galadriel lacked expression as she replied, "She's been brought back in this shape for a reason, a reason that she does not comprehend either. She has no recollection of Middle-Earth whatsoever.

"You must be strong for her, Legolas. Now is not a good time to burden her with the past. Do not trouble her with memories that trouble you also. If Eru's plan allows it, then in time they will belong to you both again. Until then, do not take the opportunity to determine the pace out of her hands."

He nodded.

"You must not take her future actions or the words she will speak to heart. She will have much to process in the next few days. What you have witnessed now is only a small matter compared to what is still to come."


When Nadine woke up hours later everything in her body hurt. She yawned and stretched, careful not to make any sudden movements that might cause her any more pain. The bandages were still wrapped around her head and she figured they were going to stay like that for some time because no one had mentioned them yet. Even so, she reminded herself to ask someone about them later.

As Nadine was listening to the sounds around her, she got the nagging feeling of another presence in the room. Watching her. Although she couldn't hear anything save from the rustle of leaves and the occasional bird, she sensed something. Someone.

Nadine sat up straighter in bed. It was amazing how much better she felt. Despite the ache she still felt all over, it was much duller than last night. Or was it last night? It disturbed her how she couldn't tell whether it was night or day with these bandages on, so she decided not to think about it, or else she'd get upset.

Again that feeling of another presence. It was becoming ominous. "Who's there?" Nadine kept her voice steady, feigning her calm, yet quiet enough in case there was actually no one and she was making a fool out of herself.

But Nadine realised the latter was not the case when she heard someone approach her and sit down beside her bed. Instinctively, she turned her head towards the noise, straining her ears to catch all the sounds. It was amazing how little sound the person produced when moving.

"It is I, Legolas."

A pensive look crossed Nadine's features before turning neutral again. "You were here before."

"Yes," Legolas affirmed. "And I have been here many times before," he added, not able to stop the words flying out of his mouth. Legolas knew he was being unfair and, recalling Galadriel's words, he quickly changed the subject. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," Nadine admitted cautiously, her wariness of him still present in the back of her mind. She frowned. "Legolas is a strange name."

Legolas couldn't help but let a small smile reach his face as he studied her; the way she moved her head towards his voice, the dark colour of her hair, her fine and pale facial features. They all seemed so familiar, yet they were so very different. "Tis an Elvish name," he answered carefully, silently gauging her reaction.

"Elvish?"

"Yes."

"Why would your parents give you an Elvish name? Are they into fairytales or something?" A small, amused smile was growing on her lips.

Legolas would have been pleased at her rise of spirits if not for the fact that he knew her reaction would be nothing of the sort with what he was going to tell her now. "It is only natural for Elves to bestow their offspring with an Elvish name."

Her expression was turning to one of clear unease, though she said nothing of the sort and, instead, merely let out a nervous laugh. To Legolas her discomfort was painfully obvious. "That's funny. Now, really, tell me the truth."

Under normal circumstances, Legolas would have been offended by being accused of lying. Elves did not lie, and it was a fact that they prided themselves of. "I am telling the truth."

"What are you on?" Nadine suddenly exploded. She couldn't believe he was actually going through with his sick joke. "I might be injured physically, but I'm not an imbecile! You might think it's hilarious, but I don't!"

"Amdirwen, I do not –"

"My name is Nadine," she cut him off. "Can you say it with me? Nay-deen." Her head was turned in his direction and he could only imagine how her eyes would bore into his with the intensity of a lightning bolt if not for the bandages covering her eyes, which would say plainly that he knew nothing about her and therefore couldn't possibly be her spouse. It was so similar.

"Very well… Nadine," Legolas said slowly. The name felt unfamiliar. As long as he had known her she had never gone by the name Nadine, but he knew that this was how she was called in the place she thought of as home. Things weren't going how he had planned and he was starting to wonder if anything would ever go according to plan again. This young woman before him was so unpredictable, so unlike his mate that he had known for such a long time. He felt as if he didn't know her anymore. Didn't know the person she had become. Perhaps she was someone else. The thought frightened him.

"You used to call me Legolas," he went on, his emotions carefully hidden in his expressionless tone of voice. She couldn't know how difficult it was to see her this way, almost hating him, after so many years of waiting. As he watched her, her expression shifted suddenly, etching confused furrows across her brow.

"What is it?" he asked, his concealment failing him. "Did you remember something?"

Apprehensive curiosity had him moving around the bed to take hold of her hands. "Hold it, melamin."

Confusion was evident on Nadine's face. Then, she pulled her hands away from his and shook her head. "It was nothing… just a flash."

"A flicker is something," Legolas insisted, refusing to let go of his hope. "It could be the beginning of your memory returning. We will need to leave Lóthlorien once you're well enough, and then we can –"

Horror was suddenly growing on her face. "I – I'm tired," she stuttered.

Legolas was breached short by the urgency of her statement. "Forgive me," he said, drawing himself away from her and sitting back down. "I should be letting you rest."

He settled quietly and unseeingly watched out of the balcony at the enchanting view on the Caras Galadhon. Joy suffused him at the thought that her memory might be returning, but he felt ashamed of that joy because the proposal so obviously frightened her. Irrational fear assaulted his heart as another thought occurred to him. What if after she regained her memory, she didn't want him? What if she had actually changed so much that she would never want to see him again?

He turned toward her to see that her fears seemed to have subsided slightly. Then, all of a sudden, she spoke, "Lóthlorien you said?"

"Yes."

So she hadn't imagined it. When she had heard the name Lóthlorien for the first time, she had wondered if she had perhaps misheard it. Did that mean that she was going crazy, or that they were? Nadine wasn't sure which one of the two she preferred. "I've never heard of a place called Lóthlorien."

"Not many have," was Legolas' confusing reply. "It is a woodland realm, where the Silvan Elvesdewll. ddded dwell. Galadriel, the Lady that was here before, is queen of Lóthlorien. Only few know of its existence." It was the best answer he could think of. Anything more and he would probably frighten her even further. "Would you like something to eat?" Legolas asked, realising that she might be hungry. It would also be a good distraction from the present topic.

It worked. Nadine heard her stomach growl in response even before she had the chance to reply and her face reddened in embarrassment. "Yes, please."

"I'll let someone fetch something for you." Legolas rose from his seat and hesitated. He wanted so much to touch her, kiss her, or just simply hold her. But he had to refrain himself from all that. At least for the time being. Closing his eyes momentarily gave him just enough strength to turn around and walk away.


"Mana bragië What happened?"

"Amin I…" Legolas started, a pregnant pause followed before he continued. "Re enyala, Edrahil She doesn't remember, Edrahil. Vas enyala nat She doesn't remember a thing."

His best friend, Edrahil, was clearly surprised as he watched Legolas, the meaning of the words slowly seeping into his conscience. "Kai Nothing?"

"She awoke and asked who I was," Legolas said. "I realise that Lady Galadriel warned me about the possibility of temporary memory loss. But this is different." He rubbed a hand over his face. A trembling hand, Edrahil noted silently. "She's returned in her human body."

Now Edrahil looked truly bewildered. Then a haunted expression crossed his features. "How is that possible?"

"I'm not sure," Legolas replied earnestly. "All that the Lady Galadriel would tell me was that it is on account of the accident. The ritual wasn't to be conducted until Amdirwen reached twenty years of age. She has only reached nineteen now. Complications ensued and she's returned in her human body with several wounds that she acquired in the accident and no memory of Middle-Earth." Sighing heavily, Legolas sat down on the stone ledge situated under a large, stocky tree.

"Is the amnesia permanent?"

"I do not know." A moment of silence stretched and Legolas found himself fighting to contain the emotions that were swept at him in this moment of intricate clarity. Now that he had finally been granted her return, she didn't even recognise his existence. "Edrahil, she recalls not a thing from this world. To her it doesn't even exist; Elves are as much a possibility to her as the notion of peace is to an Orc. To her I shouldn't exist… I believe she fears me."

"I doubt that, Legolas." Edrahil laid a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder as he sat down beside him. "She's frightened by the situation, by all the things that have happened. You forget that she's human now. And humans fear all that is unknown. Once she becomes acquainted with you once more, you will see that."

A sad smile hovered on Legolas' lips and he turned to Edrahil, gratitude shining through his eyes. "Hannon le ten túlas an Lórien as nin, Edrahil Thank you for accompanying me to Lórien, Edrahil. Umin ista manen cuilen mi eressë I do not know what I would have done had I gone alone."

"Indomielyë teréva, mellonamin You would have been just fine, my friend," Edrahil said firmly then grinned mischievously. "How could the legendary Elf prince that assisted in the destruction of the Ring of Power not be? Now, that would be a disgrace."

Legolas allowed a wry smile. "Strangely enough the difficulty of that does not even measure up to this in the slightest." The sorrow Edrahil had seen in Legolas' eyes after Amdirwen's leaving had returned – but only for a flicker of a moment. Edrahil spoke up; he would do anything in his power to keep Legolas from that horrible fate.

"My friend, you have to save her. Whether from herself, this world or this unfortunate situation, she cannot do it alone. You must realise that. It will not be easy, I am sure, but I know that if there is one person that can do it, it is you."

The look in Legolas' eyes was far away as he gazed upon the beautiful gardens before him, looking, but not seeing them. It was a moment before he spoke. "Indómen envinyatas ar envinyatan I have to save her if I am to save myself," he replied softly. "Inno úpoler voronë My heart will not be able to endure it again."