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"So, I got a promotion," Tessa said, plopping herself down in Daniel's chair. "And my transfer might actually go through. But that's not my news."
"What's your news?" Daniel asked, not sure he liked the wide smile on her face.
"I'm gonna have a baby, and you're going to be the father."
If he'd been drinking coffee, it'd now be spat all over the room. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
She jumped up and ran her hands over his shoulders. "I could get some anonymous doner, but then my kids could have any number of weird qualities. If you're the father, not only do I know what my kids might be like, but we also get lots of sex in the mean time."
He back away from her and shook his head. "Tess, this is crazy, you should think over this some more."
"I have thought it over some more!" she protested. "And why are you so hesitant? You have no obligation in any of this, aside from knocking me up at twice in the next three years. I can take care of them myself and you don't have to worry about anything."
"Why the time limit?"
"After that I'll be too old to have kids."
"You'll only be thirty-six!"
She rolled her eyes. "Fine, too old to want to have kids." He continued to shake his head and walked away from her again. "Oh, please?" she begged, climbing up onto his desk. "I have to have two more kids. And I'm not in a relationship, and you're not in a relationship, and I'd ask Jack but I've always had a thing for you."
"What? Why would you ask Jack?"
She shrugged, rolling her eyes at what she could only assume was jealousy. "Jack has a lot of qualities I'd like my children to have. He's smart and funny and good-looking. Plus it'd really piss off the Senator to have his gene-pool contaminated by the person he hates more than anyone else in the world except for me."
"Vice President."
"Whatever. But anyway, he hates you too. And if you'd grow your hair back, I'd never even consider Jack."
"Oh, that makes me feel so much better. A few extra inches of hair that used to be on my head is all that's keeping you from jumping into bed with Jack."
She reached out and let her hands run slowly over his head and into his hair. "Trust me– I don't jump and it won't necessarily be bed."
"Again, that makes me feel so much better."
She sighed, slightly agitated. "Fine, it'd also get Sam pissed at me for probably ever."
"What about Teal'c? Your dad seems like enough of a bigot that he wouldn't like having biracial grandchildren, let alone biterrestrial."
"Let's get back to my attraction to you," she said, leaning closer to his face.
He looked closely at her face and then started laughing. "You're kidding, aren't you?"
She shrugged, smiling wickedly. "Is it that obvious?"
He pulled her hands out of his hair and pushed her back a little. "Would you get off my desk? If you break something, I'll be very put out." She worked her feet around so her could step off in front of Daniel, her skirt sliding very far up her leg to reveal a row of flesh toned lace. "Are you wearing stockings?" he asked, unsure of what the answer and reason would be.
She shrugged, smiling cutely. "Habit I picked up from Sam," she remarked as the door swung open. "Think over my proposal carefully, but don't take too long." She gave him a playful and obvious wink. "I may even show you a few other habits I picked up from Sam–joke or not."
"What do you mean by that?" Sam demanded as Tessa slipped out the door. "Daniel? What did she mean?"
"So, wha'd Tessa want?" Jack asked lightly, not at all bothered by her behaviour.
Daniel shook his head slowly. "Oh, she just... asked me to... father her children."
"Oh, good! Something relatively not crazy for a change." Sam suddenly turned on her heels and ran out of the room after Tessa. "Great, now Carter's getting it!" Jack exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "I knew having a Kinsey around here would be bad!"
~~~~~~
Sam ran after Tessa, catching up with her rounded the corner. "What was that about? What were you proposing to Daniel?" Sam demanded in a hiss.
"Well, you know I want more kids," she said as if it should be obvious.
"And you asked Daniel?" she practically shouted.
"Why are you so shocked?" Tessa demanded in return, deciding to turn her little joke around on Sam. "It's not like I asked Jack... again."
Sam's eyes suddenly went wide. "You asked Jack? Why would you ask Jack?"
Tessa smiled, obviously getting a sick pleasure out of Sam's worry. "Yeah, and if Daniel doesn't say yes, I'm still gonna ask him. He seemed sort of interested last time... might finally decide to take me up... or down, you know, whatever."
Sam watched Tessa as she continued walking down the corridor. "Please tell me this is one of your sick little jokes?" she called after her. "Holy Hannah, Tess! What did you tell him that I do?"
*****************
Author's Note: So, I decided to up the rating a tiny bit because Tessa's a little dirty and Andie's language is gonna be a little foul coming up. Nothing too major... maybe some under-age drinking, but that's all. Promise!
"So, I got a promotion," Tessa said, plopping herself down in Daniel's chair. "And my transfer might actually go through. But that's not my news."
"What's your news?" Daniel asked, not sure he liked the wide smile on her face.
"I'm gonna have a baby, and you're going to be the father."
If he'd been drinking coffee, it'd now be spat all over the room. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
She jumped up and ran her hands over his shoulders. "I could get some anonymous doner, but then my kids could have any number of weird qualities. If you're the father, not only do I know what my kids might be like, but we also get lots of sex in the mean time."
He back away from her and shook his head. "Tess, this is crazy, you should think over this some more."
"I have thought it over some more!" she protested. "And why are you so hesitant? You have no obligation in any of this, aside from knocking me up at twice in the next three years. I can take care of them myself and you don't have to worry about anything."
"Why the time limit?"
"After that I'll be too old to have kids."
"You'll only be thirty-six!"
She rolled her eyes. "Fine, too old to want to have kids." He continued to shake his head and walked away from her again. "Oh, please?" she begged, climbing up onto his desk. "I have to have two more kids. And I'm not in a relationship, and you're not in a relationship, and I'd ask Jack but I've always had a thing for you."
"What? Why would you ask Jack?"
She shrugged, rolling her eyes at what she could only assume was jealousy. "Jack has a lot of qualities I'd like my children to have. He's smart and funny and good-looking. Plus it'd really piss off the Senator to have his gene-pool contaminated by the person he hates more than anyone else in the world except for me."
"Vice President."
"Whatever. But anyway, he hates you too. And if you'd grow your hair back, I'd never even consider Jack."
"Oh, that makes me feel so much better. A few extra inches of hair that used to be on my head is all that's keeping you from jumping into bed with Jack."
She reached out and let her hands run slowly over his head and into his hair. "Trust me– I don't jump and it won't necessarily be bed."
"Again, that makes me feel so much better."
She sighed, slightly agitated. "Fine, it'd also get Sam pissed at me for probably ever."
"What about Teal'c? Your dad seems like enough of a bigot that he wouldn't like having biracial grandchildren, let alone biterrestrial."
"Let's get back to my attraction to you," she said, leaning closer to his face.
He looked closely at her face and then started laughing. "You're kidding, aren't you?"
She shrugged, smiling wickedly. "Is it that obvious?"
He pulled her hands out of his hair and pushed her back a little. "Would you get off my desk? If you break something, I'll be very put out." She worked her feet around so her could step off in front of Daniel, her skirt sliding very far up her leg to reveal a row of flesh toned lace. "Are you wearing stockings?" he asked, unsure of what the answer and reason would be.
She shrugged, smiling cutely. "Habit I picked up from Sam," she remarked as the door swung open. "Think over my proposal carefully, but don't take too long." She gave him a playful and obvious wink. "I may even show you a few other habits I picked up from Sam–joke or not."
"What do you mean by that?" Sam demanded as Tessa slipped out the door. "Daniel? What did she mean?"
"So, wha'd Tessa want?" Jack asked lightly, not at all bothered by her behaviour.
Daniel shook his head slowly. "Oh, she just... asked me to... father her children."
"Oh, good! Something relatively not crazy for a change." Sam suddenly turned on her heels and ran out of the room after Tessa. "Great, now Carter's getting it!" Jack exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "I knew having a Kinsey around here would be bad!"
~~~~~~
Sam ran after Tessa, catching up with her rounded the corner. "What was that about? What were you proposing to Daniel?" Sam demanded in a hiss.
"Well, you know I want more kids," she said as if it should be obvious.
"And you asked Daniel?" she practically shouted.
"Why are you so shocked?" Tessa demanded in return, deciding to turn her little joke around on Sam. "It's not like I asked Jack... again."
Sam's eyes suddenly went wide. "You asked Jack? Why would you ask Jack?"
Tessa smiled, obviously getting a sick pleasure out of Sam's worry. "Yeah, and if Daniel doesn't say yes, I'm still gonna ask him. He seemed sort of interested last time... might finally decide to take me up... or down, you know, whatever."
Sam watched Tessa as she continued walking down the corridor. "Please tell me this is one of your sick little jokes?" she called after her. "Holy Hannah, Tess! What did you tell him that I do?"
*****************
Author's Note: So, I decided to up the rating a tiny bit because Tessa's a little dirty and Andie's language is gonna be a little foul coming up. Nothing too major... maybe some under-age drinking, but that's all. Promise!
