Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and stuff like that just don't belong to me.
Note: Yeah. Um. OOC-ness ahead. Also, this chapter, hopefully, will be funnier than the last couple of chapters.
Second Note: All of my reviewers rock! If I could give you all something, I would, but all I have to offer are my pathetic fanfictions.
Chapter 9: The Gold Saucer
"LAND!" Aeris screeched, falling out of Sephiroth's arms and onto the ground, kissing it (though her lips barely even brushed the tips of the grass) after at least one day of being stuck in the air with her unwanted companion.
"…I know you have an intimate relationship with dirt, judging by the almost constantly filthy state of your hair, but would you be so kind as to stop making out with the ground and get up?" the ex-General sneered.
Aeris stood up, glaring at him. Her eyeshadow didn't really soften her glare that much. "For your information, MISTER, my mouth didn't even touch the dirt…well, no, I'm wrong about that. They DID touch the dirt—your mouth," she shot back.
Sephiroth smirked. "You're getting better at these insults," he commented.
Aeris tossed her hair back. "I learn from only the worst," she said, 'the worst' meaning, of course, him.
The silver-haired man's facial expression hardened. "Keep in mind, woman, I can do much worse than just kiss you."
"What sort of threat is THAT? Disgusting as you are, basically anything can be worse than a kiss. Now where are we going?" Aeris said, her gentleness beginning to come back from places unknown for reasons unknown. But in all honesty, she'd rather die than have to kiss Sephiroth one more time…
"Let's see…what's nearby?" Sephiroth muttered, scanning the horizon. There was a desert, and…oh, no…his least favorite place…
"The Golden Saucer!" Aeris shrieked. "That was soo much fun both times I went! Except, you know, they had sucky endings…the first time we were arrested for doing something we didn't actually do, and the second time Cait Sith stole the Keystone and gave it to the Turks. But before the sucky endings, IT WAS SO FUN! Are we going there?"
"Oh LORD no, woman. You are NOT dragging me into that overly happy apocalypse of doom! DO YOU NOT HEAR THE MUSIC IT REGURGITATES FROM NOWHERE? AND THE MOOGLES! THE GIANT STUFFED MOOGLES! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!" Sephiroth screamed.
"…First of all, if it's a happy place, how can it be an apocalypse? And aren't all apocalypses basically about some sort of doom? Also, music isn't regurgitated and the people in stuffed moogle suits aren't everywhere," Aeris reasoned.
"Oh yes! That's what YOU think, Miss Child of Joy!"
"I may be the Child of Joy, Sephiroth, but you're the Spawn of Insanity!"
"And I'm damn proud of it, too," the black-clad villain grumbled.
"So are we going or not?" asked Aeris.
"Fine…but you're paying for my ticket…"
"Oh, don't worry. I have a lifetime pass."
"YOU WEIRDO!"
Sephiroth hated the "overly happy apocalypse of doom," as he made so clear before. People stared at him for two reasons: 1) Because he had long, silver hair and looked exactly like Sephiroth (Gee, go figure!) and 2) because of his unnaturally long weapon.
People didn't stare at Aeris so much, except for the perverted old men who really shouldn't go to public places.
She seems to be having fun, Sephiroth thought gloomily. But if she drags me onto a ride ONE MORE TIME, I'm going to have to smack her, he added, cringing. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy the roller coasters; it was that he didn't want HER to know he did.
Suddenly, Aeris turned around, clasped her hands behind her back, and leaned forward slightly in that way she did so often. "Wanna go stop somewhere and get some food?" she asked.
The black-clad ex-General clenched his jaw. "Oh, yes, sure, let's go get some food and be stared at more."
"Do you have a problem with people?" Aeris asked, straightening and letting her hands fall to her sides.
"YES! Why do you think I tried to destroy the Planet?"
"You obviously have a problem."
"Yes. My problem is you. Go away."
"I can't. If I go too far away from you, I die, and you die too," she reminded him.
Sephiroth grumbled something, then checked a nearby clock. It was nearly midnight. "It's getting late," he observed.
"Um…for the rooms WE could afford in the hotel, there'd only be one bed," she said weakly.
"Yes, but I refuse to travel this late at night," the ex-General said.
"Why?" Aeris asked, then attempted to smirk but failed. "OH, are you afraid of the dark?"
"No," Sephiroth muttered plainly. "But it's easier to lose you in the dark, and though I really want you to go away, the Planet would destroy us both if we were separated."
"…But there's only one bed!" Aeris said, exasperated.
"It's your fault, really, for suggesting we come here and then not leave in time to search for a place with multiple beds. Consider this your punishment."
"Having to look at your face should be punishment enough," Aeris mumbled, and begrudgingly followed Sephiroth to the hotel.
Once they had a room, the brunette woman went to the room's bathroom to take a shower. The silver-haired man leaned against the wall, staring out the window as the fake lightning proceeded to be annoying. He heard the shower stop, and smirked. This was just too good of an opportunity to annoy his unwanted companion, and he couldn't just pass it up…
He gave the girl enough time to at least dry herself off and into her underwear, then barged in. As he expected, there she stood, glaring at him, her cheeks the same scarlet color as her underwear and bra. Sephiroth smirked.
"Oops," he said unconvincingly, and went back to the bedroom. Whether he wanted it to be there or not, the image of Aeris without her outer layer of clothing, hair still wet and plastered to her face, eyes burning with her cheeks, was stuck in his mind. He made no serious attempt to get it out.
A few minutes later, his victim barged out of the bathroom (fully clothed, and with dry but still unbraided hair and no makeup), stomped up to Sephiroth and delivered several hard blows to his face.
"Oops, my ass," she grumbled.
Sephiroth raised his eyebrows, rubbing his cheek lightly as he watched her stomp over to the other side of the room. "So, it IS true."
Aeris didn't answer.
Sephiroth smirked. "So you DO wear red undies…and you CAN cuss," he sneered.
Aeris felt her anger boiling over and she glared at him, a menacing glare of ultimate EVIL! …Well, maybe not ULTIMATE evil, but it was still a menacing glare. "Damn right, you bastard, I can cuss! Too bad none of those words can describe how filthy, perverted, and murderous you are," she snarled.
"Perverted? All I did was comment on your underwear—not your breast size, not your body, your underwear. And I only did it to annoy you," he snapped back.
"Yeah, right," Aeris breathed. "Do we have to share a bed again?"
"I don't plan on sleeping on the floor, and the bathroom floor is probably covered with the blood from your menstruation."
"WILL YOU STOP SAYING THAT! It is NOT 'that time of the month' for me!" she shrieked. "And…whatever. I'm going to bed, you do what you want…only don't really," she muttered, sliding under the covers.
Sephiroth, tired, slid into the bed as well, but moved as far away from Aeris as possible. "May your dreams be full of misery and fear," he said, closing his eyes.
"May yours be, too," Aeris muttered sleepily.
Yumesuta: Er… That was interesting, no? Heh…I hope I didn't offend anyone! If I did, I'm very sorry. And I got the idea from one of my reviewers. THANK YOU, REVIEWER! I thought I'd be stuck forever. Speaking of reviewer…REVIEW!
