Summery: Sirius decides to write a book for Lily and James' wedding present. It is a book of the first time different things happened to them, such as the first meeting between them.

Disclaimer: Muggles, Hogwarts, etc. all belong to JKR, not me. If they did belong to me I'd be famous right now, with a million dollars, but they don't belong to me, so I'm not rich or famous… yet. I also don't own this disclaimer, it belongs to StarryFluff.

Thank you to: TheTwelfthSisterInLaw, cylobaby, webling-girl05, StarryFluff, up on the rooftop, The Enchanted Teakettle, HPKid328, Kristen

Author's Note: This chapter is really two firsts, but they are both short so I waved my pretend magic wand and combined them. Sirius doesn't write all of this chapter, but I needed someone to write about Lily after the Marauders are formed and Sirius doesn't know about some of Lily's feelings. I decided to introduce her in this chapter. I know you guys love Sirius, so don't worry, he will still write most of it. Brownies to anyone who realized the book that Lily bought to learn to hex her sister in the last chapter was the same book Harry wanted to buy to learn how to hex Dudley. Okay, I think that's it. Enjoy!

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My dearest darlingist Lilsie and Jamesical,

I am sorry to inform you that the amazing Sirius Black will not be writing all of this chapter in the book of firsts of your lives. He was convinced by one of Lily Evans (soon to be Potter)'s most evil friends that she should write a part of a chapter about the tradition of Lily ranting about James Potter every night in her dormitory and it should be memorialized in this tale. I am sorry to have to give you this incredibly disappointing news.

Sincerely,

Seris Blackious

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Why did I agree to let Sirius write the introduction to the part of chapter I am writing? Personally, I think Lily will be very happy to have one of her friends write about her life, but that's just my opinion and according to Sirius, Alice Clowen's (soon to be Longbottom-YAY!), opinion doesn't matter. So anyways, part of this chapter is about Lily's "Potter Rants" as they became dubbed and happened at least four times a week and in which she listed all of James' "issues" or why he deserved to be hated forevermore, or complained about some despicable thing he had done So, here goes:

The First of the Potter Rants

I first met Lily when she came into my compartment n the Hogwarts Express, saying that she had been in a compartment with the most annoying boy in England and could she share mine. I was alone and quite happy to have company. We were both sorted into Gryffindor and spent seven years in the same dormitory.

On the day of the first Potter Rant, the fifth day of school, I was lying on my bed, talking to Tejal Bhandri another girl in our dormitory who later became very close friends with me and Lily.

"You have an interesting name," I commented to her trying to start up a conversation.

She laughed. "It means lustrous. My older sister is afraid I'll grow up to be a prostitute."

I laughed too. "I wish I knew what my name meant. It so boring compared to yours. Oh, and I hope you don't live up to your name."

"I hope so too. I think my sister would kill me." Tejal grinned.

We continued to talk until Lily burst into our dorm.

"I cannot believe him!" she shrieked.

Tejal and I sat up startled, and a bit nervous. Lily was a very nice, kind person, but when her temper got aroused, she was frightening.

"Um, who?" I asked.

"Potter!"

"Oh, no. What did he do?"

"Tried to use that curse I used on him on that poor new Slytherin boy, what's his name?"

"I don't know."

"Snape. Sevieus Snape. No, Snivius. Wait. Severus. That's it. Severus Snape."

"Is that all he did?" Tejal asked.

"No! The idiot can't jinx to save his life. Snape's nose turned different colors before settling on blue, then shriveled up, and FELL OFF! Then when I informed him he shouldn't perform hexes on people that he couldn't do he said it was MY FAULT for introducing him to the spell."

Both Tejal and I hastened to assure her that James was clearly mad and it wasn't her fault at all, trying to keep her anger away from us.

"Then he said that it wasn't his fault for performing it wrong."

"What?" I asked puzzled. Tejal and I didn't like James Potter too much, but we didn't hate him as much as Lily. However, I simply couldn't see how it wasn't his fault. By the look on Tejal's face, I could see that she couldn't either.

"He said the greasiness of Snape affected the way the spell acted."

"Well Snape is sort of greasy," Tejal pointed out. However upon seeing the look on Lily's face at these words she said, "But that doesn't mean that James should mention it."

"She's absolutely right," I added.

Lily seemed pacified and went on.

"And Snape didn't to anything to begin with. He was just walking down the corridor. Alone. James was walking with the other first-year boy, Peter Pettigrew." Lily paused and wrinkled her nose. "I don't like Peter that much. I couldn't really like anyone who worships Potter that much. But anyways, it wasn't a fair fight. Two against one."

Lily paused again, thinking.

"Pettigrew really didn't do anything, but it's the principle of the thing, right?"

"Absolutely," I assured her.

Lily flopped down on her bed and stared at the ceiling.

"He's despicable. I hate him."

"Well, we can see that Lily," Tejal muttered.

"Oh, shut up," said Lily good-naturedly. She sighed. The Potter Rants usually ended suddenly when Lily ran out of steam.

"But I still think he is an arrogant bullying toerag and I will never, ever like him, I swear."

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Have you survived this part of the chapter not written by the amazing Sirius Black? If you did, I am very shocked. However, now I am happy to inform you that the most amazing man in the world will write the rest of this chapter. Let's hear it for Sirius Black!

- Seris Blackious

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Thank you, Mr. Blackious. So, I am back to remind my dear friends of the "Evans Rants" which are exactly the same as the 'Potter Rants' except said by James Potter, which since you are amazingly smart people I think you probably figured that out yourselves.

The First of the Evans Rants and when James Sees I Am not a Slytherin at All (Although that is not Important to the Story of Lily and James' Life so is not Part of the Official Title)

I was lying on my bed in my dormitory, moping. It was Saturday and I didn't feel like walking around and seeing the glares of the Gryffindors and Slytherins. So, I stayed in the dorm imagining life if I had been born to a different family, one that agreed with my views.

Remus entered the room and gave me a small smile.

"James and Peter are coming. James seems to be angry with Lily Evans for some reason and is swearing quite heavily under his breath."

I grinned. What could Lily have done this time? Whatever it was, I was glad. I didn't hate Potter, but I thought that he was very, very prejudiced. I wished he could give me a chance and see that my family wasn't me. I was different. I am the black sheep, or I guess it might make more sense to say white sheep in this case.

As I was contemplating whether I was a white sheep or a black sheep, James burst through the door followed by a panting Peter.

"Remus!" he yelled, ignoring me.

Remus had just settled on his bed with and book. He looked over the top of his book at James.

"Hmmm?"

"You will not believe what happened!"

"What?"

"Evans happened!" squeaked Pettigrew as it seemed that James was so befuddled or out of breath he couldn't speak.

"What happened?" Remus asked.

"Well, Peter and I were walking through the hallways when we came upon a Slytherin. Snape. Now since all Slytherins are nothing better than pond scum, -" here he shot a look at me as if to say you are too- "I decided to try out the hex Evans used on me last night."

I snickered. I couldn't help it. The memory was just too funny. Luckily James didn't hear me.

"Unfortunately, the second I shouted Colorificus, Evans appeared. And the hex, well it didn't work as it was supposed to."

Remus sighed. "What happened?"

"His nose turned colors really quickly and then turned blue and fell off."

I sniggered. Severus Snape was the son of Eileen Prince, a well-respected Pureblood whom I had always hated. I was glad when she married a Muggle and was no longer allowed at our house.

James heard me this time. He whirled around.

"Are you going to jinx me for hexing one of your Slytherin buddies?"

That was the last straw.

"He is not my buddy. As you can see, I was put in Gryffindor. That happened because I am not a Slytherin. I hate my family. I have never, ever called anyone a Mudblood. My parents hate me for what I believe but it doesn't stop me. I hate them too."

I couldn't stand being in the room with James Potter anymore and left. I didn't want to go down to common room so I just sat on the landing outside our dorm and listened to Potter complain about Lily.

"Um, right." James said. He sounded puzzled with my outburst. "So, back to Evans. She yelled at me, 'What do you think you're doing?'"

"She was scary," said Pettigrew. "Her face was all red and it looked like it was on fire."

"So I replied, 'Hexing this lovely boy.' She told me I shouldn't perform hexes I couldn't do."

Remus laughed. "A blow to your ego, huh."

"Oh, shut up. Do you want me to finish or not?"'

"Sure, go right ahead James."

"I informed her that it was his greasiness that messed up the spell. Then she yelled at me more. What is her problem?"

"No idea," Remus said.

"She has no idea how it works here. She thinks she's so great because she can perform a stupid hex. Evans is an idiot. I will always hate her, no matter what, I swear."

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Review please! Also if you have a request for a 'first,' I'm open to suggestions. Of course I'll be doing the basics, like first date, etc.