Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII.

Note: Thanks once again to all of my reviewers for reviewing! And, of course, my apologies for the long wait for this chapter. I've been busy working on one of my other fics, Vincent's Revenge.


Chapter 11: Snoofles and Snufflekins

The next day, as our Miss Aeris got ready for her day, Mister Sephiroth was in the bathroom, taking a shower, as well as doing the other things one does in the bathroom. I'm sure I don't have to describe those things to you.

Aeris had already done her bathroom stuff, so all she needed to do now was brush her hair and attempt to get the wrinkles out of her clothes. She'd successfully made her clothing SLIGHTLY less wrinkled, and though she'd brushed her hair enough so that its silky softness rivaled even Sephiroth's hair, she ran it through the auburn mass again, and again, and again. Why?

She was BORED.

Now, if she were here with Cloud and her other old friends, she'd have just written them a note that read something along the lines of, "I got bored so I went out to go look around. I won't go far so come get me when you're done getting ready." Sephiroth, however, had CLEARLY told her that she was forbidden to go anywhere without him, in case someone attempted to kill her.

I believe his exact words were, "If you go ANYWHERE, I shall use all of my non-fatal powers to torment you until you're driven as insane as a rabid Chihuahua!"

Aeris's retaliation was, "You already threatened to stick me in a pit of rabid Chihuahuas before. Do you have an obsession with that type of dog or something?"

Sephiroth's response, before glaring and storming into the bathroom, had been something along the lines of, "Yes, when I was seven I had a Chihuahua. His name was Pointy. He died of rabies. But before his death, he was just so CUTE! I mean—uh…no, you fool, I did not just say cute!"

Now, back to the moment of Miss Aeris brushing her hair.

Remembering the conversation, she pictured a small Sephiroth wearing jeans, sneakers, and a baggy T-shirt while running down the street, wielding a bright red leash. At the end of the aforementioned leash, there was a tiny, hyper dog with large, pointy ears. Though the image was very strange to her, it wasn't amusing until the little Sephiroth stopped to baby talk to his dog and call him things like Snoofles and Snufflekins. At that point, she imagined the adult Sephiroth (the one she was currently with) calling a small, furry animal Snoofles and Snufflekins…and then, she burst out laughing.

As though on cue, the silver-haired man chose precisely that moment to exit the bathroom. He was without his trench coat, as he had left it in the main part of the hotel room, and his hair was still sopping wet at the ends. Noticing his unwanted companion's laughter, his eyes narrowed dangerously.

"May I ask what is so funny?" he breathed.

Aeris giggled. "Have you ever called anyone Snoofles or Snufflekins?" she asked.

The man's eyebrows raised as he stared at her as though she were an idiot. "Snoofles? Snufflekins? What type of names are THOSE?"

The fact that Sephiroth had said the baby names in a demanding, angry voice made Aeris's laughter hysterical. (I mean, seriously, imagine someone being very, very angry and saying "Snoofles." Now, imagine it being Sephiroth…)

His eyes narrowed even more. "We're leaving," he announced curtly, tossing his trench coat lazily over one shoulder.

"Aww," Aeris whined, but her whining didn't do anything. Though she protested, Sephiroth picked her up and tossed her lazily over the same shoulder his trench coat was on.

"PUT ME DOWN!" she screeched into his ear as her head passed it.

He winced. "NO," he snapped, moving her so that most of her top half was hanging on his back.

"Ew, Sephiroth your trench coat smells funny," she said, looking down. As she looked down, she caught sight of his rear end, covered (as far as she knew—she didn't know if he wore underwear) only by his nice, tight black pants. Oh, holy PLANET that's kinda hawt, she thought, almost drooling before she remembered that it was Sephiroth.

"Why, thank you," he snorted. "Stop talking. Then you won't have to breathe as often and the smell of my trench coat won't bother you as much…wait a minute. What DOES it smell like, anyway?"

"You," Aeris said simply. "…And leather."

Sephiroth smacked his forehead with his free hand. "Wow, who would have thought!" he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Throwing some of his hair back so that the wet ends purposely hit his unwanted partner's face, he walked towards the door, opened it, and left the Gold Saucer, despite the odd looks he received from some of the women. He was, after all, shirtless—but who would complain to him with the Masamune hanging at his side?

Once he was outside of the Gold Saucer, he lazily threw Aeris onto the ground and replaced his ultra-cool long black coat. She landed on the grass with a small thud.

"Hey," she moaned, standing up to brush the dirt off of the seat of her pants.

"Stop whining. Here," the man said curtly, shoving a roll into her hands.

"Uh…what's this?" Aeris asked, raising one eyebrow.

Sephiroth raised his eyebrows and gawked at the piece of bread in mock awe. "Well, I believe the technical term for something you can eat is food! And—" He sarcastically glanced up at the sun. "And WOW! It's morning! I hate to get all technical with you, but I believe that the word people commonly use for food in the morning is breakfast! Well, look at that!" he finished, smirking.

Aeris's greenish eyes narrowed. "I KNOW THAT!" she snarled. "Where'd it come from?"

"Oh, so you youngsters say, 'What's this?' when they really want to know where something came from?" Sephiroth asked, a wolfish smile on his lips.

The Cetra smacked her forehead. "No. I just asked the wrong question, okay? Geez!"

"For your information, it came from the continental breakfast table at the hotel. I stuffed it into a pocket in my trench coat—don't worry, woman, it was an empty pocket, unless you count air—and was going to give it to you at the hotel, but I forgot about it," he explained, glad to be annoying her.

"Oh." Aeris was about to eat it, but paused when the roll was at her mouth and glared. "How do I know this is safe to eat?" she demanded.

"Well, I can't kill you or I'd die. I can't poison you, or I'd become poisoned. It's squished but otherwise safe," Sephiroth said, very annoyed at her relentless caution.

"It could have something in it that would cause me to fall asleep."

"Why would I want to do THAT?" Sephiroth sighed, smacking his forehead in frustration.

"Well, you can't hurt me, but I'd be annoyed if I fell unconcious so you might try to—oh…damn it I think I said too much…" Aeris said, gulping.

The silver-haired man smirked. "Perhaps you have. I haven't thought of making you go to sleep…I'll have to try it sometime."
"NO YOU WON'T!" the brown-haired woman screamed, practically snarling.

"Just shut up and eat the damned roll!"

"Fine, sheesh." She carefully nibbled on the edge of the hunk of bread, keeping a careful eye on Sephiroth as she did so. After swallowing her nibble, she paused to see if anything out of the ordinary was happening to her. Nothing was, so she stuffed the rest of her food into her mouth.

"So you didn't do anything this time," she breathed, still keeping a careful eye on the man. "So where are we going to next?"

"Well, to annoy you I thought we could just wander aimlessly for the rest of the day and camp out for the night," said Sephiroth, his trademark evil smirk creeping across his lips.

Aeris groaned. "I knew there had to be a catch for you feeding me…"

And wander aimlessly, the pair did. In fact, Sephiroth only allowed the exhausted Cetra to rest when the sun was well below the horizon.

"Tired," she gasped, collapsing onto the ground.

"I'm not," the man boasted.

"Shut up, you freak of science!"

"…What did you just call me?"

Aeris gulped at the dangerous tone of voice he was using, but he couldn't kill her so she swallowed her fear. "FREAK OF SCIENCE!" she screamed.

Sephiroth lunged. Aeris screamed. Sephiroth halted his lunge, knowing the planet would just give him some sort of agonizing pain for attacking the woman.

"Damn," he muttered, sitting next to Aeris.

"Ha, ha," Aeris taunted. "You can't get me!"

"Nope," he admitted evenly. "I can't. You win."

"…Huh?"

"I said," the man repeated, glancing at her, "'I give up. You win.' Alright?"

"What's the catch…?" the brown-haired Cetra asked, narrowing her eyes slightly.

"As soon as I find another way to torment you without physically harming you, you can bet to the Planet that I will!"

Both of them waited for an idea to come to Sephiroth. Sephiroth was waiting because, well, he was the one trying to think of an idea. Aeris was waiting because her legs didn't want to move from the agonizingly long walk they took.

"Here's something that'll annoy you," Sephiroth said, moving so close to Aeris that she could see every detail of his stunning blue-green eyes. "We don't have a tent. You'll have to sleep on the ground."

"Okay…" Aeris was too tired to edge away. "That IS annoying, but it won't emotionally harm me for the rest of my life…by the way why the hell are you so close? Go away!"

"There's a second half to your punishment for calling me a freak of science."

"I don't wanna know," the woman whined.

The silver-haired man chuckled and closed his mouth over hers for a moment. Satisfied with her aggravated struggles, he pulled away.

"EW!" she shrieked, fiercely rubbing at her mouth with her arm. She knew her face was bright red. Damn those hormone reactions.

Then she gasped. "Sephiroth, you're…blushing!"

"What? No I'm not," he snapped. But when he removed his gloves and felt one of his cheeks, he clenched his teeth together. She was right. "Damn it," he muttered.


Yumesuta: So, uh, what do you think of them apples? Heh, please review!