(GoF) CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: I'm in Love With My Guitar
Ellie and Fred headed back to the common room at that, despite being expected at the Great Hall for the welcoming feast.
"Didn't you and George want to try your hands at getting past Dumbledore's Age Line?" she asked him with a weak smile as they settled onto the couch.
He gave a dry sort of snort at that. "Does it matter? Apparently we already know who's going to be picked, and it's not me. In more ways than one."
She sighed. "You already were picked—at least in that sense. You know that, Fred."
"I know. But it doesn't matter now, does it? You have to un-pick me to pick him."
He was right, of course. Ellie couldn't, in good conscience, say yes to Cedric and keep up a secret relationship with Fred. Lying to Cedric was one thing, but lying and cheating?
"Have you thought about going to Dumbledore?" Fred asked then. "Or your dad? Maybe they'd have some suggestions."
She'd considered both options, but ultimately decided on neither. "Telling them would only make them feel pressured into getting in trouble for me. You know Dad—he'd sooner go back to Azkaban than let me go through this."
"Well, maybe he should. This isn't fair, El. And for all we know, it'll only get worse."
"Well, if it does, we'll reassess. But for now, all he's asking me to do is date someone and report back. It's better than Dad going back there."
Fred nodded grimly, looking every bit as miserable as she felt. "Well, it was nice while it lasted."
"And it'll still be nice when this stupidity is over and we can be together again," she said firmly. "That is, unless you don't want to wait for me."
He shot her a sarcastic look at that. "You know I do. I waited four years already, didn't I?"
But that, of course, only made her feel worse.
She met him in the common room at midnight. She knew she'd have to start limiting these meetings once she said yes to Cedric, but she hadn't said yes yet, and it was her birthday, after all. Didn't she at least deserve a few more hours of happiness?
"I got you something special this year," he told her when he saw her. "At least… it was supposed to be special. Now I'm not sure how you're going to feel about it."
"I'm sure I won't find it any less special," she said, though she had no idea what it could possibly be.
"Right." He swallowed, looking surprisingly nervous. "Guess I'd better get on with it, then."
For a half-second, she thought he was just going to kiss her again—not at all a bad gift, but not what she would have expected. Instead, he disappeared.
Not disappeared, she realized as she squinted into the dimly-lit darkness. Changed.
Into a dog.
"Bloody hell," she whispered, hand flying to her mouth, as she stared at what could only be Fred's Animagus in disbelief.
It was a beautiful dog—bigger than hers, and nearly as big as Sirius'. Where theirs were black, his was a deep, dark shade of brown—not unlike the colour of his human eyes. Where their coats were long and wiry, his was short and shiny. But his head—the long, floppy ears; the long, smiling snout; and the big, kind eyes—were undeniably Fred.
He changed back at that, eyeing her with the same wide, eager eyes his dog form just had. "Well?" he asked, sounding surprisingly nervous. "What do you think?"
"I…" She could hardly process all the thoughts racing through her head. "You… you actually did it? On your own?"
"Well, not really on my own. George went along with it most of the way. He only backed out at the very end. Said it was because he was scared, but I think he just wanted to let us have this one, you know… for us."
She knew. George was Team Frellie all the way.
"But…" She bit her lip. "You're a… dog."
A small, sad smile came onto his face at that, and he said softly, "If you're a dog, I'm a dog, El."
She knew Fred well enough to know that he'd never seen The Notebook, but the fact that he had unintentionally quoted one of the greatest love story lines of all time only made it that much more romantic.
If there had ever been any doubt in her mind that she was meant to be with Fred Weasley, it was gone now.
Unfortunately, so was any chance of her being with him.
"Kiss me," she whispered as the tears filled her eyes. "One last time. Before we can't anymore."
He didn't need telling twice. He crossed the distance between them in two long strides, grabbed her, pulled her in close, and kissed her like only he could—enough to take her breath away—enough to make her forget what a cruel place the world was, if only for that moment.
"I love you," she whispered when the moment was over.
"I love you, too. Always."
"Ellie!" Cedric called out to her that evening as she and her bandmates made their way to the Great Hall for their performance. "Got a sec?"
She looked heavily back at him, feeling both the guilt and the dread sink in. Cedric didn't know any of it—didn't know about the decision she'd made, nor about the brief day and a half of bliss they'd shared together. And now she couldn't tell him.
She didn't dare look at Fred. Surely the pain in her gaze would give her away if she did.
"Sure," she said, forcing a smile, and she followed him into an empty classroom.
"Happy birthday," he told her as soon as he closed the door behind him. There was hope in his eyes, but fear, too. "I got you something… only, if the rumours about you being about to publicly humiliate me are true, maybe I shouldn't have."
She tried to laugh back, but it wasn't easy. "I told you—I told everyone—the song isn't about a boy."
"I know." He frowned. "It's just… I've tried to be patient, Ellie, but… could you maybe just give me some sort of… of clue, as to whether…"
God, this felt terrible. Cedric didn't deserve this. He deserved to move on and find someone who felt the same way he did. He was a good guy.
"I made up my mind." The words tasted foul on her lips, but she pushed past it. "I want to be with you, Cedric. That is, if you still want to be with me."
He looked… shocked. Which made sense, all things considered. "You… what? Really? Just like that?"
"I'm sorry it took me so long to figure out. That wasn't fair to you." It's not the only thing that wasn't. "But… yeah. I'm sure."
"And… Fred?" he asked carefully. "He's… okay with this?"
She really wished he hadn't asked her that. "Fred and I… just can't happen." Not right now, anyway. "He understands."
"So we can… tell people?"
He wanted the big announcement. He wanted the song to be about him.
Well, she still wasn't willing to make the song about him. But he wasn't the only one who wanted the big announcement. Thanks to Aleks, he'd get his wish.
It was hard to sing I'm in Love With My Guitar to that crowd of people. It should have been easy; it was a fun song, meant to get people rocking and rolling. And it did; even the Beauxbatons girls were singing and dancing along to the upbeat chorus by the end of it.
But it wasn't easy. It was like Neville had said—despite all her insistences that the song was about nothing more than her love for her guitar, it wasn't. From its intro, I've been trying too hard; I've been spinning around; gotta find a way back to my roots somehow to the haunting bridge—Keeper of my secrets, part of all my dreams, somehow we're connected, from a whisper to a scream—it was undeniably about Fred. And he knew it as much as she did.
It was the last thing she could give him, she mused with a heavy heart as the song came to an end and the thunderous applause began. It wasn't much, but it was her parting gift to him.
"Thank you," she said to the crowd with her best fake smile. "Now, I know some of you were expecting that song to answer some lingering questions, and I hate to disappoint, so…"
Don't do it, her inner voice pleaded her. There's got to be another way. Find another way.
But there wasn't one.
"Cedric," she said. "Let's do this."
And with that, her new boyfriend ran onto the stage to kiss her in front of the entire school.
I know, I know - I'm pure evil! But surely they'll find a way out of this somehow, right? As always, I encourage you to give today's song a listen - "I'm in Love With My Guitar" by Alexz Johnson from the Instant Star soundtrack. Don't forget to follow, fave, review and all the good stuff!
