The Burden of Love: This is where they belong...
by tarskeewee08
They pulled up to her home. She was exhausted from visiting with Charlotte's family. Everyone had a million questions about the investigation and John was a prince about it all. He took over and explained what the Chicago PD was doing and how the process worked. While he talked them through their fears Evangeline went to the kitchen and sat with Charlotte's mother.
Watching her cook for her family like she and Charlotte used too as kids they talked about past and different things that Char did to challenge them both. It felt good remembering the good times. Darlene asked Evangeline to sing 'Amazing Grace' and she agreed. She gave some ideas on what should be on the obituary and Darlene called her cousin who was at the printers and had the information added. All in all it was a good visit and she felt better from it.
Now she was home again and she didn't want mom or uncle clay to ruin things by attacking John. She looked at him undoing his seatbelt and touched his hand. "Hey"
He stopped and smiled at her "You ready?"
"If
they get out of hand we will leave" she said softly
John
frowned. "They're your family and you need them, this isn't
about me." Touching her face he looked into her eyes.
"Besides
I'm a big boy and can handle myself" he said chuckling
She
smiled back "Okay big, boy let's go…."
Getting out into
the snowy night Evangeline raced up the driveway with him holding his
hand. Reaching the porch her mom opened the door before they could
knock and went to her pulling her into her arms. "Oh my god
cookie!" she cried.
John watched them embrace and could see Uncle Clay scowling at him in the background.
"Mom, lets go inside its cold out here" Evangeline said trying to pry her off her. Lisa let her go "Oh yes, sorry baby" she looked over to John and half smiled "Hello John"
"Hi Ms. Williamson" he said following them inside. The warmth of the fireplace and smell of a baked ham made the house feel more than inviting. John helped Evangeline from her coat then removed his and hung them on the coat rack.
Clay walked over and extended his hand. "Hello
John"
"Clay" John said shaking his hand.
Evangeline went
to the sofa and sat down and everyone followed her lead.
"Cookie I just don't understand what were you girls into up there that somebody would kill Charlotte?" Lisa asked
Evangeline
looked into the fire wincing at the question that seemed to be the
first one from everyone. "We don't know much about Char's death
now mom"
"You know she's murdered and apparently from
someone next to the case she was investigating." Clay said
John frowned. That information wasn't released yet, not even to the family "Clay how do you know that?"
Clay turned and looked at John smugly "I have friends everywhere John, I also know that you have accepted a position with the Chicago PD."
Lisa shot
John a shocked angry look "What? You've moved to Chicago?"
John nodded and Evangeline sucked her teeth. She wasn't in the
mood for the inquisition she just wanted to see them. John saw her
agitation and tried ease it "I had no idea she was living in
Chicago when I relocated her, but I can't deny that I'm happy
that she is"
"I bet you are!" Clay hissed
"That's
enough! I'm not in the mood for this. I just lost my closest
friend! She was murdered do you get that?" Evangeline stood up and
pushed past their legs racing up the stairs. Lisa and John stood at
the same time. Lisa grabbed his arm to stop him. "I will see about
her, she needs her momma"
John nodded and watched her go up the stairs then sat down. Clay lit his cigar watching him and John stared back "Do you have something you want to say to me?"
"Let's
go out back on the veranda and have a chat" Clay said rising from
couch.
John shook his head sadly then rose to follow him out. He
and Clay hadn't spoke since the breakup and he could only imagine
what he had to say now. Either way it didn't matter he wanted her
happy and if patching things up with her family was what she needed
from him he'd do it.
Evangeline stood in her room
looking at pictures on her dresser of her and Charlotte with Layla in
tow. Lisa cracked the door open and saw her "Cookie.."
"Leave
mom, I'm not in the mood"
Lisa walked in and closed the door
"Oh baby, I'm sorry….I loved Charlotte too"
Evangeline
turned around with tears in her eyes. "Mom somebody killed her,
took her life like she didn't matter."
Lisa went to her and held her in her arms. Evangeline hugged her mother crying openly. It's all she seemed to be able to do now is cry and she was just as tired of it. Lisa rubbed her back and waited it out. When she was done she went and got some Kleenex for her to dry her face. Evangeline walked over to the bed and sat down. Lisa came to her and gave her some tissues to wipe the tears away.
"Death is hard Cookie, but you have to draw from your faith sweetie. Charlotte is with the lord. Try and understand that there is a purpose to it all. God called her home because it was her time, none of this is your fault."
Evangeline wiped her tears "Well the pain doesn't stop mom and if it wasn't for John I don't know how I would survive it."
Lisa stiffened at the mention of John "What
is going on with you two?"
"What do you mean?" she asked
blowing her nose
"After everything that man has done to you why
on earth would you let him weasel his way back into your life, he's
taking advantage of your vulnerability."
"You don't know
what you're talking about" Evangeline said rolling her eyes.
"I
see the way he's looking at you, my god are you sleeping with
him?"
"Mom! Would you stop it! He's a friend and I need
him, what we do or don't with that friendship is none of your
concern!"
Lisa stood up and glared at her "Have you forgotten how he wiped his feet on you? How he couldn't love you and almost cost you your life? How he dumped you for that redhead floozy he was obsessed with?"
Evangeline looked up to the
ceiling and blew out a frustrated breath "He does love
me…"
"What?"
"Never mind its none of your business,
whatever is going on with us is not your concern and I won't allow
you to make Charlotte's death about me and John! If you don't
respect me and my feelings for him mom we'll leave!"
Lisa folded her arms "For life of me child I will never understand why you cling to him so."
"Then you've never been in love!" Evangeline shot back.
John stepped down on the back deck. The snow had stopped and the night though chilly was clear with a half moon shining down. Clay lit his cigar again and watched him intently.
"So I heard about you and the LPD caught up in
that prison riot last year" Clay said
John slipped his hands in
his pockets and leaned against the column "Yeah that was a pretty
hairy time."
"The gossip rags said you were involved with a inmate's wife? You held pertinent information on his identity preventing him from being released and that Evangeline is the one that saved the man's life?"
John looked down "What are
you getting at Clay?"
"Just curious, you dumped my niece for
this Vega girl and left her to burn at the stake so you could save
her, then you conspire to keep this girl close to you by using your
badge to keep her husband in jail. And through it all my niece had to
work to clean up your mess."
John looked over his shoulder "First of all, your niece dumped me and rightfully so. Second of all I saved them both from that fire. And lastly there is a lot more to the story of me and Natalie Vega"
"Really" Clay said
smiling "I'd love to hear that story"
"This visit isn't
about me…"
"Yet you came anyway. Holding her hand like
you're some caring boyfriend and searching for a in road"
John glared at him. "I love her….my presence at her side is because of my love and need to protect her"
Clay lowered the cigar
"Well well look who can finally say the word"
John flushed
with anger. Apparently Lisa told Clay all of the sordid details of
their past. "I will admit to not appreciating your niece at first,
but I do now and I will spend every waking moment making it up to
her"
Clay glared at him. "Cookie almost died because of her feelings for you. She turned herself inside out to be with you and when you rejected her for that rich trollup she left the state and tried to reclaim her life. Now all of sudden you want to be there for her? Well I don't buy it for a moment, you are still the same selfish arrogant ass you was last year and this time I won't sit back and let you hurt her!" he yelled
"Uncle Clay!" Evangeline shouted.
He and John turned to see her step
through with Lisa behind her "You apologize now!"
"Evangeline
its okay…" John said
"NO! You apologize now!" Evangeline
said shaking she was so angry and glaring at her uncle.
Clay
looked at her and his face melted "Cookie, I didn't mean to upset
you I'm sorry"
"Not to me! To John….apologize!" she
yelled and John frowned seeing she was coming undone. He walked up
the step toward her watching her concerned about her reaction to
Clay's taunts. Today was an emotional rollercoaster and she's
been containing her anger over the situation for awhile. She may
release that anger now.
Clay looked at John and cut his eyes "He shouldn't be here. He doesn't deserve you and he's using this situation to get next to you."
"He loves me and I love him! There is nothing you or momma can do to tear that apart. Do you heart me!" she screamed through her tears.
John looked at her shocked along with the rest of them. Her declaration of love was worth all the taunting and snide remarks from her family. He reached for her hand to calm her and she grabbed his pulling him into the house to get their coats.
Clay and Lisa raced behind them back into the house "Cookie, no don't go! Wait what do you mean you two will be together." Lisa said shocked.
"Cookie, I'm
sorry baby please…" Uncle Clay called after her.
John got
their coats and helped Evangeline into hers then put on his.
Evangeline retrieved her purse as her mom grabbed her arm "That man
broke your heart baby, I was there at the hospital when he wouldn't
even comfort you" she said in a trembling voice and her words hurt
John causing him to look away from Clay's heated glare.
Evangeline pulled her arm from her mother and let tears fall "He hurt me but he also loved me through it all, I know that now. We can't help who we love momma but I am glad to have John because right now he is the only reason I'm able to survive this all"
Clay walked over to her "That's not true! You are strong Cookie and you don't need that man or any man for that matter to save you"
Evangeline shook her head sadly "I may not need him but I want him and until you two accept that I want you too keep your nasty accusations and hurtful words to yourself."
She said before storming out the door that John held for her. John looked back at them "I will take care of her I promise…I do love her"
Lisa started to cry and Clay put his arms around her shoulder "I see through you John and one day my niece will too!" Clay said angrily.
John shook his head sadly then walked out into the cold night air toward the car that Evangeline already sat inside of. He climbed inside to see her crying softly looking at her family standing on the porch watching them. Backing out of the driveway he sighed wishing that it hadn't come to this.
"I'm sorry
baby" he said softly
"It's fine we shouldn't have come
here."
"Yes, we should have….they are your family and you
love them" John said driving cautiously on the icy roads.
"Well you are just as important to me and they need to respect that" she said looking out of the window.
John looked over at her again reminded that she was announcing her feelings for him. Letting one hand off the steering wheel he reached for her hand in the car. She turned and softening from the contact. Smiling she accepted it.
"Thanks Van it means a lot to hear you say that" he said smiling at her.
"It means a lot to say it again to you John. I've learned some things with Charlotte's death. Life is too short and nothing is promised to you. I'm not going to let my happiness slip by and I'm not going to hold back from loving you. I want my happiness now, while I'm here and can enjoy it."
John felt his heart beating with excitement to know that she was moving closer to him. She was going to be his again. Raising her hand to his lips he kissed it affectionately "You are a remarkable woman."
"So are you…a remarkable man that is" she said giggling wiping away her tears with her other hand. Her cell phone buzzed and she let go of his hand reaching into her purse to retrieve it. Rolling her eyes she blew out a frustrated breath and John knew who it was.
"What is it Mom?"
"Baby we are both sorry,
please don't be angry with us…I know you are going through a
rough time….."
"Thanks mom for the apology but that's not
what I need, I need for you two to respect and trust me enough to
make my own decisions."
Lisa grew quiet in the phone "We'll
try, I'll speak to your uncle. Just know that we love you so much
and it's all because of our love for you that we struggle with his.
That man did some…"
"Thank you for trying, I will see you both at the funeral. Good night mom" she said closing the phone.
John didn't say anything to the call as he drove them up to the valet in front of the hotel. Evangeline got out and he walked over taking her hand leading her through the lobby to their room. Both of their rooms were connected and he waited as she got her key out to open her door. She looked back at him unsure of herself and he smiled.
"Good night John" she said going in and
closing the door.
John bit his bottom lip in disappointment then
shook his head sadly. Going to his room he slipped in the key and
walked through. Another cold shower is what he needed.
Evangeline awoke and looked at the digital clock, it was after three in the morning. Sitting up in her bed she pulled her knees to her chest. She missed her man. Looking over to the adjoining door she'd bolted shut she wondered what he was doing on the other side of it. Her desires strong and the need to be in his arms even greater she willed herself to move from the bed and go to him. All she had to do was go to him.
Sighing sadly she wished that that she had the courage. There was still a part of her that didn't know how to let him make love to her after what he shared with Natalie. Putting her head in her knees she sucked in her breath. Life was too short and Natalie was so not worth it. She just couldn't keep using her as an excuse to hide behind her fear.
She wanted her man back and according to him it would be up to her to make it happen. Sliding out of the bed she went to the mirror and looked at herself. Her long mane was in tangles. She reached for her makeup bag and retrieved her brush. Working out the kinks she stared at her reflection. Something about the woman that stared back at her seemed foreign.
In a year she had harden and the light of compassion and hope of love had dimmed from her eyes. She didn't want to be bitter, not from the past or the recent loss of Charlotte. She couldn't allow herself to disappear. Putting down her bush she unbuttoned her long sleeve pajama top.
Dropping it from her shoulders she pulled off her drawstring sleep pants then her underwear. Reaching for her jasmine oil she rubbed into her skin smoothing it out. Walking to her suitcase she went through it nervously looking for something she could wear. Finding a camisole that stopped at the curve of her hips that she wore under her suits she pulled it out and held it in front of her. She hadn't packed anything sexy and didn't own anything really since she left Llanview. She would have to improvise, this would work just nicely.
Slipping it on she walked back to the mirror and smiled bashfully. Her hips a little wide caused the silk fabric to rise at the roundness of her butt exposing more than she would normally choose but she knew he wouldn't mind. Going to the bathroom she brushed her teeth and washed her face. She was so nervous about going to him she did everything to delay it. Faced with nothing left but her desires that grew with each passing moment she went to the door and undid the bolt silently.
Opening the door she smiled to see that he didn't lock his door and left it wide open for her. She shook her head laughing to herself, he knew she would come to him. Walking into the dark room she saw him lying on the left side of the bed on top of his stomach. His muscled arm hung over the edge of the bed and he was snoring softly.
She stood at the foot of the bed frozen. Should she call out to him? Should she go over and shake him and tell him that she needed him? It had been so long since she'd been with him or any man for that matter she wasn't as confident as she wanted to be. When they were lovers she would simply roll over in the night and kiss his shoulder and that was all it took. He'd pull her under him in his sleep and before fully awakening begin to make love to her. She smiled at that memory.
Finding her courage she walked over to the right side of the bed and pulled back the covers gently. Sliding into bed with him carefully he didn't stir. She looked at him in the dark and stared at his smooth muscular back.
Finding the need to touch him overwhelming she reached for him with a shaky hand. Her fear still consuming her she found it hard to lower her hand to his back so it hovered over him for a longer moment than she intended then she touched him gently. John still didn't stir. She leaned over and kissed his shoulder and he moaned saying her name in his sleep.
She looked at him shocked then remembered the dreams he mentioned of having her. She smiled to herself knowing he thought once again this was a dream. She slid her hand up his back to his silky hair and ran her fingers through it.
He stirred and turned his head to face her. In the dark he squinted then opened his eyes wider looking at her. She moved his hair from his face "I…" is all she could say before his arm slipped around her waist pulling her down to him. He pulled her underneath him as he rose on his left elbow looking down into her face. She smiled weakly into his and touched his cheek. "I need you too John I want this, but I need for us to go slow"
He nodded and kissed her. Evangeline closed her eyes slowly to the soft feel of his kiss relaxing more. Feeling his hand slide down to her thigh and run back up under her camisole she moaned. Soon his fingers were on her nipples as his stiffening manhood pressed into her thigh and the burning need to have him had her panting softly in his ear.
His kisses left her mouth and traveled to the inside of her neck as she rubbed his back affectionately. Lifting his head he moved back the sheets to see what she was wearing. She blushed at his inspection but she remembered that was par for the course, he always wanted to see her body before making love to her. Running his fingers over the fabric that clung to her curves she saw his lips curl into a sexy smile.
Her breast were partially covered by the lacy trim at the top of the camisole and he touched it lightly then brought his hand up to her thin strap moving it down her shoulder causing the delicate fabric to peal away and push her left breast into view.
She closed her eyes as she felt his warm mouth come down upon it as his tongue circled then flicked at her nipple. She grabbed his hair as his hands went between her legs and began to awaken her passion down there. She thought of all the times he'd touched her like this and wondered if this was the way he touched her. Shaking her head she forced the thought from her mind.
She could feel him freeing himself from his boxers and her stomach clenched with anxiety. She was going to actually allow him to make love her to again and she couldn't deny her fear. As he climbed on top of her parting her legs wider with his knees she opened her eyes and pushed against his chest.
He looked at her confused then saw the fear in her eyes "I want you Van, no one else…let me show you. I promise I won't hurt you"
She bit down on her bottom lip and held onto her tears "okay..." she said softly.
John kissed her forcing her to receive his mouth and position himself between her legs. She felt the tip of his penis at her opening and she wrapped both her arms around his neck for security. His kisses became more demanding and she was finding to hard to breathe his desperate needs for her hand him now kissing her face and then her neck while moaning and whispering to her.
"It's okay sweetheart, I love you" he said seductively as he pushed inside of her.
She lifted her hips to receive him and he slid his hands under her butt to keep her close. Evangeline moaned loudly and welcomed the warm intrusion her body craved for what seemed like forever. With each thrust her anxiety softened and thoughts of Natalie disappeared, all she could feel was him and his need for her. John looked into her face again and she opened her eyes as he kissed her nose while rotating his hips. She moaned from the familiar pleasure she'd been denied for what seemed like eternity and he pressed his forehead against hers. She smiled to herself at the unspoken communication that passed between them and held onto their passion.
He kept going and driving her body to the orgasmic release that only he knew how to bring. She was crying out so loudly now that she feared the people in the room next to them would call the front desk. Arching her back she felt her hips vibrate from the movement and strength of his love muscle.
Dropping his head to the crook of her neck all of his weight came down on her as he pinned her to the bed. His thrusts became more powerful and she wrapped her legs around him to control some of the intensity, he was pushing her farther than she thought she could go. "Oh god help me" she moaned not sure how much longer she could take it.
She could hear him calling for her with each passionate thrust causing her cry out even louder from the electric current rushing through her veins. As his hips began to shudder a thunderous release of his seed into her, he bit her earlobe making her claw at his back from the sweet ecstasy of it all.
Their love making was more than either had anticipated and they remained in their passionate embrace long after their juices ceased to flow. Neither could explain what transpired between them but Evangeline knew that this was not something he shared with every and any woman. This was his way of loving her and she felt a wave of relief to have it again.
Raising his face he looked into her eyes "I'll never let you go again, never!" he said determined and committed to their love.
She smiled "Good…because I don't like jail, and that's where I'd be from killing you!" she said giggling.
He laughed too and fell back onto her chest. She closed her eyes lowering her legs from around his waist. This was where they both belonged.
