Author's Note: Apologies again for the wait but I'm back now and without further ado, here's the next chapter, which is basically a post-ep, of sorts, for "Sucker Punch."

Then Came Love

Chapter 59

Kate's meeting with the Captain the next morning was both reassuring and dispiriting at the same time. The Captain assured her again that he was confident of the result of the inevitable review of her actions in shooting Coonan but explained that even so, she would need to be placed on administrative leave for today and the next day, during the review of the incident. It wasn't a surprise; she was familiar with the bureaucracy that kicked in whenever a police officer shot someone on duty and it was always more intense when the shooting resulted in a fatality for obvious reasons. And while she didn't doubt the review board would vindicate what she'd done, it was hard to feel satisfied about it.

What was worse was that the Captain took the opportunity, as she should have been expecting, to review her duty status going forward, which was complete desk duty, now that she was starting the third trimester, lasting until whenever she chose to start her maternity leave. She would need to talk to Castle about that too, she thought.

It wasn't as if she didn't understand. She would never want to put the baby at risk in any way but that didn't lessen her instinctive, ingrained dislike of desk duty. And it was another stark reminder of the fact that her entire life was going to change–had already changed, really–and would never be the same again. A reminder that for all the books she'd read, all the online articles, she really had no idea what her life would look like in just a couple months once the baby was born. Oh god, what did she know about being a mom? She was a cop, about the furthest thing from a nurturing role as any job could be, and being a cop was all she knew how to be. She had no idea how to be a mom at all, had no idea how she would manage. (She wanted Castle.)

"When I say desk duty, I do mean desk duty, with no exceptions from now on. You understand that, right, Detective?"

The Captain's voice tugged her out of her worries, snapped her back into the present, her job–the job she still had for now. "Yes, sir, I understand."

His expression and voice softened. "It's for the baby's sake, more than anything else, Beckett. You can still be helpful, your instincts and insights are still your best way to contribute. With that, I think Esposito and Ryan can handle things and I can have a few of the best officers specifically assigned to help out when necessary. It'll be good training for the officers."

"Yes, sir," she agreed. It would be good training. She herself had done something similar when she'd been an officer, helping out when a detective was unavailable for some reason. And of course, the boys were both very good detectives.

The Captain nodded at the copy of the incident evaluation he had handed her. "You can stick around to read that but other than that and maybe checking your emails, you understand you can't do any actual work right now."

She nodded. "I understand, Captain."

"Good. You–" Whatever he'd been about to say was cut off as his phone rang and he grimaced a little, nodding and giving her a small dismissive wave of his hand, before he answered the phone.

She duly left his office, closing the door behind her, and went to her desk to read the Captain's incident evaluation. She felt the gazes of more than a few pairs of eyes from her irritatingly nosy coworkers, which she had expected since she had no doubt the news of what had happened yesterday with Coonan had gone all over the building before she and Castle had even left yesterday, but she deliberately ignored all the observers.

At least, thankfully, for all their curiosity, no one actually approached her directly, kept a distinct little circle of space around her desk. A space that was, predictably, first breached by Esposito and Ryan, the only two who would feel free to approach her right now, although they did so in characteristic cop fashion.

"Hey, Beckett, what are you doing here?" Espo greeted with a show of brusqueness, which she knew was meant to be an inquiry into how she was doing. "We heard you'd be playing hooky today."

"Yeah, some people just don't have any sense of responsibility, leaving us to do the grunt work," Ryan joined in.

'I won't be here for long," she returned, falling in with the cop banter. "I just dropped by to tell you guys not to screw up too badly."

Espo scoffed. "There's gratitude for you, and after we're stepping up to do the paperwork while you're skiving off."

"You know, bro, I was thinking," Ryan addressed Espo with elaborate casualness, "Beckett's desk is pretty much the perfect distance for us to practice our aim, you know, set up a trash can and flick cards or papers into it. Maybe a dartboard."

"I can still have you guys kicked down to traffic," she told them.

"No, you can't. Someone needs to do some actual work," Espo retorted.

"Yeah, and while we're doing our part to keep the city safe and all, you'll be lazing around the way you do," Ryan added. Which was, in typical indirect cop fashion, his way of telling her she should be resting.

"I won't be out that long, only through tomorrow. Who knows what kind of trouble you two clowns would get into without me," she returned.

"It's okay, Beckett, you might as well just admit that you'd miss us," Ryan interjected.

"Not likely. I just don't have any faith in your ability not to set my desk on fire or something."

"That's what fire extinguishers are for," Espo drawled. "And since you're not going to be around, what do you care what happens?"

"I don't, really, I just don't want the bother of having to clean up whatever mess you guys will make," she told them with mock tartness.

"Says the person who's ditching us to do all the paperwork," was Espo's retort.

Ryan clicked his tongue in mock reproach. "Yeah, really. Well, if this is the thanks we get, we should just take off ourselves. And I don't know about you, bro, but I could use a coffee since some of us have been working for hours already."

"Yeah, count me in for that."

With the boys having checked on her in their trademark fashion, they wandered off into the break room, leaving her to return her attention to Montgomery's incident report.

She had to push aside any personal reaction to the memories brought back by the report, although Montgomery's business-like recounting of what had happened helped a little. He had, she noted, mentioned Dr. Murray's opinion that Dick Coonan, as the fictional Rathborne, had been responsible for six murders that they knew of, including Jack Coonan, to provide support for the threat level he represented and had not included any of the details of what had been said, let alone mentioned her mom or any personal connection at all to any one of Coonan's victims or to Castle himself. Castle was not identified by name, probably to avoid any possible resultant publicity from someone in One PP deciding to leak the interesting fact that someone of Castle's fame had been saved by a cop, but only mentioned as a civilian consultant, albeit one who had acted like some action hero.

She hadn't finished reading the report when she heard the sound of the elevator door opening and knew, in that way she always seemed to these days, that Castle had arrived, her heart lifting as she looked up to meet his eyes.

He greeted the boys in passing and lifted a hand to the Captain, still on the phone in his office, but in all that, she was aware that his eyes never really left her, studying her with as much concern as if he hadn't seen her just hours earlier when she'd left the loft to have breakfast with her dad.

"Hey, Beckett," he greeted with a show of casualness as he took his seat. "Everything okay?" he asked more quietly. "You're not going to have a hard time because of anything that happened yesterday?"

She shook her head, giving him a small reassuring curve of her lips. "Montgomery assured me he's confident it'll be routine, nothing to worry about, just the usual bureaucracy."

"How long will you be on administrative leave?"

"Just through tomorrow, he thinks."

He nodded at the file in her hand. "That doesn't look like you're on leave."

She tapped the file with a finger. "It's not really work. It's Montgomery's post-incident evaluation. Pretty interesting reading. You come off like Steven Seagal," she told him, mildly teasing. She might agree with Montgomery's assessment but she didn't think Castle needed to know just how heroically he'd been portrayed.

He pretended uncertainty. "Should I be flattered or insulted?"

She gave him a small smirk. Typical Castle, to make such a joke. "Mm, a little of both."

"Ah well, I suppose I can live with that. There are worse comparisons."

"Yeah."

His eyes narrowed a little as he studied her. "You sure that's it? Nothing else bothering you?"

"You're adding telepathy to your talents now?" she tried to rally.

He smirked. "You really have been spending a lot of time with me, haven't you? I must be rubbing off on you to ask a question like that."

She rolled her eyes. "My mistake. What makes you think something else is bothering me?"

He lifted a finger to lightly touch her forehead. "You have that little crinkle here that you get when you're stressed or frustrated."

So much for her vaunted poker face. It was both a little irritating and oddly… nice too, for someone–Castle–to know her so well, be able to read her so well. She hesitated for a split second but she did want to talk to Castle–that wasn't the issue–she just didn't want to have this conversation in the precinct. Then again, she wasn't on duty right now, was she? Silly of her.

"Nice deducing." She gave him a small smile. "Wanna take me out to lunch and we can talk?"

"Should I be worried?" he managed to joke a little weakly. "I promise I haven't done anything bad."

She huffed a laugh as she pushed herself to her feet but, mindful of their audience, did not take his hand or link her arm with his. "Not sure I'd take your word on that," she teased.

He pretended to bridle in mock offense as they headed out of the bullpen and she took advantage of being alone in the elevator to slip her arm through his, leaning against him for a moment.

He turned his head to brush a kiss to her hair. "How is your dad?" he asked quietly.

"He's fine. I think being able to see me for himself, talk about it a little, helped. Oh, and I invited him to the loft for dinner this Saturday, if that's okay with you."

"Of course it is. Your dad's welcome anytime, you know that."

She hadn't really doubted it but she rewarded him with a quick kiss on his chin, the closest spot she could reach.

A faint smile tipped up the corners of his lips but all he said was, "What are you feeling like eating? Remy's? Or we could get pizza or pasta, sandwiches, Chinese, Thai, Indian, or maybe even hot dogs?"

"Gee, Castle, I'm not sure you listed enough options," she quipped.

"Well, I have no idea what you and the Sprout are feeling like eating so I thought I'd keep our options open."

She smiled against his shoulder and they settled on a Thai place a couple blocks away, Castle keeping the conversation light as they walked by updating her on Alexis's plans for the day and what he knew of Martha's plans.

He waited until after they were seated and had placed their orders before sobering. "What is it? Whatever it is, we can deal with it together."

Together. It really was a precious thing, knowing that she had a partner, someone to have her back, in life and not just at the precinct. It wasn't something she'd really had in years, not since losing her mom, she thought with the usual pang, but now she had it, thanks to Castle.

"Oh, the Captain was just talking to me about the future, after I'm back from administrative leave, because of, well, the baby and everything."

"Oh, right. Desk duty?" he guessed.

She grimaced. "Yeah. No interrogations, no crime scenes, basically no leaving the precinct at all while on duty except to go to the ME's office when necessary."

His lips twisted ruefully. "Sorry."

"He didn't say that you have to be on desk duty too so you can probably go with the boys if you want to," she offered, ignoring the little pang she couldn't quite deny at the thought of being left behind in the precinct while Castle joined the boys at crime scenes. "I mean, if you need more research for Nikki Heat or–"

"No, I don't think so," he interrupted her. "I'm your partner, I'll stick with you. Besides, it's not about the books anymore, hasn't been about doing research for months now, you know that."

Well, yes, she had known that but she still felt an odd rush of gladness on hearing it.

"So I'll be on desk duty for at least a month or more and then, well, Montgomery also talked to me about maternity leave."

"Oh. Oh, right." Castle straightened up. "How much maternity leave do you get?"

"Six weeks paid and if I want to take any more time, that'll be unpaid."

He nodded. "Okay, but you know, if you want to take more time, you can take as much as you want. It's not like we can't afford it."

"We"—when they both knew perfectly well that it was only him and his money that would allow her to take unpaid leave. The knowledge that she could do so helped, of course, but… "It's not that. It just… got me thinking, really thinking, about what will happen after the baby is born and I just… I was wondering…" she hesitated, could hardly believe she–Detective Kate Beckett, who had always been so dedicated to her work–was about to say such a thing but she did need to say it. "Maybe it would be… better if I… took a long leave of absence or even… quit." At least stopped working for the first few years of the baby's life.

He jerked a little, his eyes flaring wide with shock. "What? Why? What did Montgomery say–"

"It wasn't anything he said," she hurriedly assured him. "He's clearly assuming I'll be back after my maternity leave is over and things will mostly go back to normal but I was thinking… I don't even know what that kind of normal would look like with a baby and then, with what happened yesterday…"

He frowned. "Yesterday–you mean with Coonan…"

It wasn't exactly a question but she answered it. "The whole incident. How close it was." She tried not to shudder at the memory of just how much danger Castle had been in.

He reached out and grasped her hand. "I'm just fine, you saved me, remember? We're both fine."

Her lips twisted a little. They were fine, for now. "My dad said something the other evening, that he didn't sleep well the first year after I got out of the academy, that he would worry about me whenever he heard sirens."

He winced a little and tightened his hold on her hand.

"He has a point. My job, being a cop, it comes with risks and I just… after what happened to me because of my mom," she broke off, swallowing back a lump of emotion, and had to fight to keep her voice steady as she finished almost in a whisper, "how could I risk doing that to the baby?"

Castle slid out from his side of the table and joined her on her side of the booth, curling his arm around her, as she momentarily turned her face into his shoulder.

"Kate…" he breathed, pressing a kiss to her hair, as he tugged her in tighter against him.

She allowed herself to lean into him, breathing in his familiar scent, and felt the knot of emotion clogging her throat dissolve slowly, a little bit of her worries easing. This was what she'd needed, she thought rather fuzzily, she'd needed him, needed his strength and his understanding.

"Kate, listen," he told her quietly.

She sniffed and lifted her face just enough to look at him.

"There is a risk to your job, yes, but Kate, life itself comes with risks. There's no avoiding it entirely and you have advantages because you're smart and you're careful and you're well trained and you'll have good people to have your back and watch out for you. You are good at your job and I think you like it too, don't you?"

"Ye-es," she answered slowly. She didn't usually think about it on a daily basis but yes, as hard as her job could be at times, she did enjoy it, the challenge of it. She might have become a cop because of her mom but by now, her mom's case wasn't the only reason she continued to be a cop either. "It can be hard but yes, I do like it." And her job had become more fun, better, because of him.

"I think it will be better for the baby too if you're happy and fulfilled so you shouldn't feel like you have to give up a job you like and are good at just because you think it might be better for the baby."

"It's not only about the risk, though. I mean, you've seen, you know that being a cop isn't a 9-to-5 job and never has been. And I know you can take care of the baby, just like you did for Alexis, but I don't want to make you do that. I don't want to be like Mered–" she broke off and rephrased. "You shouldn't have to do it all alone–"

He cut her words off with a quick kiss. "Ssh. No matter what, you won't be anything like Meredith. I know that. I know I won't be taking care of the baby alone because you wouldn't do that. I don't say it'll be easy but if anyone can handle being a cop and a mom, it's you. You can take as much maternity leave as you want and then we can figure it out. You can still work but I know you would always put the baby first and you'd never let the baby doubt that for even a minute. That's just the kind of person you are; you're dedicated and responsible and you give of yourself in everything. It's what makes you so good at your job and it's why you're going to be an amazing mom."

Oh, oh damn, she felt tears stinging her eyes again–she hated how often and how easily she cried these days but she couldn't seem to help it, certainly not after what he'd said. It was such a gift to be understood so well, how he knew what was bothering her and what to say. She didn't really want to stop working but that was the crux of her worries, that maybe she should want to stop working after the baby was born and the fact that she didn't meant that she was already proving that she wasn't ready to be a mom or wasn't cut out to be a good one. She hadn't planned on this baby and as much as she loved the baby already, she had never been a baby person either. She also knew she wasn't the most patient person or the most outwardly affectionate person and the more she thought about what would happen after the baby was born, the more she doubted herself. It was terrifying.

Even now, she didn't–couldn't–feel nearly as confident as he was of her ability to be a mom but something about his faith in her made her want to believe. Maybe it didn't make sense but well, she believed in him and if he believed in her, it made it easier, somehow, to believe, hope, that she could actually be even half as amazing as he believed she was. "You really think so?"

His lips curved slightly as he gave her a soft smile. "I think you can do anything you set your mind to. Even if you wanted to move mountains, I wouldn't bet against you."

A watery almost-laugh escaped her. "I'm not some kind of giant to be moving mountains."

He pressed a kiss to her temple. "I know you, remember? And think about the way you've adjusted the last few months when you haven't worked overtime or any extra shifts and you've still managed to do your job. We'll figure it out, Kate, how to balance your job and taking care of the baby, and we'll do it together."

"Together," she repeated, not entirely steadily. "Because we're partners."

"Partners, always," he agreed, smiling into her eyes. "And I can bring the baby into the precinct on paperwork days when it's quiet. You know Montgomery will wink at it and Espo and Ryan will get into fights over which of them is the favorite uncle and argue over who gets to spend more time with the baby."

A shaky little laugh escaped her. "I suppose you're right.." at least as far as the boys were concerned, she was sure of it. She could easily picture the boys having pretend squabbles over which of them the baby liked better, probably from within days of the baby being born and long before the baby could actually form any such preference.

He affected injury. "You only suppose I'm right? Of course I'm right, I'm brilliant, remember?"

She rolled her eyes. "Well, you're clearly not modest," she drawled.

He lifted one shoulder into a half shrug. "Modesty is over-rated."

"You would say that," she huffed on a laugh.

"I would," he said with mock solemnity before his expression softened. "But it made you laugh so it worked, didn't it?"

Well, really, how was she not supposed to smile at that?

He bent and brushed his lips against hers–and of course, that was the moment their server returned with their food, making Castle jerk upright while she felt her cheeks flushing. Fortunately for her composure, their server was not one of the chatty types and instead pretended selective blindness as she set their plates on the table.

Somewhat to her surprise–and yes, some pleasure too, Castle did not bother to resume his seat on the other side of the table but stayed where he was beside her as they ate, allowing her to lean into him and steal a few bites of his noodles as they ate.

He threw her a mock-threatening look after her second stolen bite which she returned with a look of wide-eyed innocence. "What, the baby wanted some."

"You know, that excuse is going to run out in a few months once the baby's born," he pretended to warn her.

"So you're just planning to deny me food once the baby's born?"

He opened his mouth and then shut it, giving her a look of faux disgruntlement. "Nice trick, setting me up so I have to deny it or look bad. You're very sneaky, you know that?"

She smirked at him. "Thank you, I try."

He attempted to glower but failed as his lips twitched and he gave in and laughed, bending to drop a kiss on her nose. "You're lucky you're cute when you smirk."

He was the cute one–but yes, she was lucky, so very lucky, to be with him like this. "Yeah, I am lucky," she agreed quietly.

He caught her change in tone, his expression softening immediately. "I'm the lucky one."

Oh, she really did love him. "Do you have any plans for this afternoon?" she asked abruptly.

But of course, Castle, with his butterfly brain, was no stranger to dealing with apparent non sequiturs and barely blinked at this abrupt change in subject. "No, what would I have planned? I mean, sure, I could always write but who am I kidding, we both know I'd only end up procrastinating anyway. Why?"

"I just… was wondering if you'd go somewhere, with me," she managed, trying with limited success to sound nonchalant.

A faint flicker of concern flitted across his face and she knew he'd caught the hint of strain in her voice. "I'd go to the ends of the earth and back with you if you wanted it."

Her lips curved faintly at his hyperbole. "It's nowhere near that far away." She paused, her pulse fluttering wildly. "I just wondered if you'd want to meet my mom." Her lips trembled a little as she tried and failed for a smile.

His lips parted, his eyes going wide and very, very soft–and oddly, she felt some of her nerves dissipate. This was right. He understood the significance, knew her well enough to guess that she had never asked anyone to go with her to her mom's grave. Never even thought of asking anyone else to go with her, until now, until Castle. As it was, the only other person who had ever accompanied her to her mom's grave was her dad and even that was only a couple times, years ago, before her dad had really started spiraling into his addiction. Since then, even now, she and her dad visited her mom's grave separately and alone. She wasn't entirely sure why but it was true. Her dad didn't visit her mom's grave very often–because it still hurt too much, she thought–but he went twice a year that she knew of, on her mom's birthday and on their anniversary.

"Yes," his voice came out sounding unlike himself and he paused, clearing his throat, before repeating, "Yes, I'd love to."

After that, the necessity of finishing their meals, waiting for the check and then paying seemed both anticlimactic and to take a small eternity, but they were finished in what was probably not more than 10 minutes.

Castle insisted that they stop to buy flowers, claiming Martha would never let him hear the end of it if she heard that he had visited Johanna Beckett's grave empty-handed, and she pretended to believe his excuse. Castle did defer to her on the choice of which bouquet to pick, which she duly did, as warmth filled her chest. Oh, this man, this dear, sweet man.

The drive to the cemetery was quiet and Kate found herself swallowing back the lumps of emotions that insisted on returning to her throat again and again.

She linked her arm with his the moment they arrived at the cemetery, starting the short, familiar walk to her mom's grave.

She let out a shaky breath as they neared her mom's grave, as her mom's name became readable, at least for a moment before her vision became too blurred with tears for her to read it anymore, not that it made much difference, since the image of her mom's tombstone might as well have been seared onto her brain.

He slipped his arm around her shoulders, tugging as if to turn her face into his chest, but for once, she resisted, sniffing, although she did lean into him. "Hi, Mom," she managed in a somewhat choked whisper. She stopped, swallowed. She had thought, yesterday, that she needed to visit her mom to tell her that Dick Coonan was dead but now that she was here, that didn't seem as important after all, not compared to Castle. Anyway, Kate supposed, wherever her mom was, her mom already knew even without being told.

"This is Rick Castle, yes, that Richard Castle," she managed a watery little smile, picturing what her mom's reaction would have been on meeting Castle for real. She glanced up at Castle, who was, for once, not looking at her, but was focused on her mom's grave. "Castle, this is my mom," was all she managed to get out before her throat closed and she had to stop and this time, she did turn her face into his chest, shutting her eyes on the escaping tears. She hated the way she was crying, again, but she couldn't help it because the words, the pretense, that this was a real introduction just hurt. She could picture it so easily, what it would have been like to introduce her mom to Castle–her mom's excitement, Castle's usual charm especially with him on his best behavior as he would have been–and oh, how much her mom would have liked Castle. How happy–and, no doubt, how smug and teasing–her mom would have been to see Kate with Castle, reminding Kate of all the times her teenage self had teased her mom about reading popular fiction, while her teenage self had been reading the classics like Shakespeare and Tolstoy.

"It's an honor to meet you, Mrs. Beckett," Castle said, his own voice husky, even as he wrapped both arms around her.

The little awkwardness of his embrace since he was still holding the bouquet in one hand somehow helped–or maybe it was her own self-control belatedly asserting itself–but whatever the reason, she sniffled a little and then lifted her head so he loosened his embrace.

"She would have loved you, you know."

"I'm sure I would have loved her too," he murmured. "Knowing you and your dad, she must have been an incredible person."

She sniffed a little, managing a wobbly little smile. "I thought so."

He studied her for a moment before dropping a kiss on her temple. He turned a little, releasing her just long enough to take a small step forward to bend and place the flowers on her mom's grave, the yellow lilies a bright splash of color on the ground.

"They're my mom's favorite," she found herself blurting out. He glanced at her and she clarified, "The flowers–lilies–they're my mom's favorite."

"Oh."

He slid his arm around her again, although he was still looking at her mom's grave rather than her. "Lily," he repeated slowly, as if it were an unfamiliar word he had never heard before.

She blinked. "What about them?"

"Not them, her," he corrected incomprehensibly. "Lily," he said again and she was starting to wonder if he'd really gone crazy before he went on, "I think that's what we should name the Sprout. Lily. What do you think?"

She stilled. That wasn't a name she had thought of. She did want to honor her mom but she'd known she couldn't bear to use the too-poignant name of Johanna, not to hear it every day. She had been considering Anna, taking the last two syllables of her mom's name, or perhaps a name about truth, the cause her mom had believed in so deeply, had spent her life working towards. Something like Verity or even Alatheia, the Greek goddess of truth, but she hadn't liked the sound of either of those names. But she hadn't thought of Lily. "Lily. Lily Castle," she repeated softly and then smiled. It wasn't an obvious tribute to her mother, but it was… fitting, even poetic, a tribute to something her mom had loved during her life. It wouldn't be obvious to everyone–not that it needed to be–but her dad would understand and appreciate it, she knew. He had always bought lilies for her mom's birthday. "I think I love it."

"You do, really?" he looked boyishly pleased.

Lily. It was, somehow, not surprising at all, knowing Castle, that he had come up with this beautifully appropriate name to honor her mom's life. "It's perfect."

He lifted one shoulder into a half-shrug of demurral. "You always inspire me with my best ideas."

"If you're talking about Nikki Heat, I had nothing to do with creating her but I'm happy to share the credit for coming up with our daughter's name."

"Our daughter's name," he repeated and then hunkered down on his haunches until he was eye-level with her stomach, his hand coming up to pet the curve. "What do you think, Sprout? Do you like the name?"

She supposed it was a little much to expect that the baby would respond on cue like that but she was surprisingly disappointed nonetheless. "She might be sleeping," she said rather ruefully. (All the more ruefully because it likely meant that the baby would be waking her up overnight with her movements.)

Castle stood up again, sliding his arm around her. "I guess we'll just have to ask her when she wakes up."

"Planning to use Morse code again?" she teased mildly.

"No, actually, since she can hear us by now, but thank you for acknowledging the merits of my suggestion," he responded with as much gravity as if discussing the fate of the world.

She huffed a soft laugh. He was ridiculous–and he made her so happy.

On the thought, her eyes somehow fell to her mom's tombstone again, the fatal date, and she sobered, swamped by the memories, all the more poignant somehow because of how differently she felt now.

"When my mom died," she began in a voice barely above a breath and felt him stiffen a little on a small intake of breath, "it felt like the end of the world. I thought I'd never be happy again."

"Oh, Kate…" he breathed, tightening his arm around her and pressing his lips to her hair.

Now, with the distance and the wisdom of years, she could recognize that her bleak certainty when her mom had died was a sign of how young, how immature, she had been at the time–but in a way, it had also proven to be true. Her mom's death had been the end of her world as she'd known it, had changed the course of her life. And yes, she could recognize now that in all the years since then, she really had never been happy. She had achieved a measure of peace, found contentment, yes, but happy? No, she had not really been happy, not when her entire life had revolved around her job and little else, not when she had tried so hard to keep every aspect of her life controlled, safe, to keep from ever being hurt again.

But then she'd met Castle.

She turned and met his eyes, his beautiful, steady eyes, and somehow, she managed to go on, not very fluently. "But then I met you. And you just… turned my entire life upside down." He had irritated her and challenged her and attracted her and amused her and, yes, hurt her too–and in doing so, he really had changed everything.

The corners of his lips tipped up slightly but his eyes were still sober and very soft.

"And you made me happy," she finished quietly. "Happier than I ever thought I could be again. You, the baby, our family–it all makes me happy. And I love you for it."

His faint smile faded, his eyes filled with so much tenderness and so much joy it made her heart bound almost painfully in her chest, to be the one who had put that look on his face, to know she could bring him so much joy. "You make me happy too."

He bent and kissed her–but for once, she turned her face away, breaking off the kiss before it could deepen. "Not in front of my mom," she murmured. She knew it was absurd but she just couldn't feel comfortable about making out right in front of her mom's grave.

She felt his slight smile against her cheek. "Okay," he murmured, "but we can still cuddle, right?"

She smiled against his shoulder as she leaned into his embrace, and thought that this really was what her mom would have wanted, for Kate to have this kind of love, this happiness. If she closed her eyes, she could picture her mom's smile, hear her mom's well-remembered voice, saying I'm happy for you, Katie.

Kate wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, just holding each other, but then the wind gusted and a little shiver went through her, even in spite of Castle's warmth, and he felt it too.

"Why don't we get out of this wind?" he suggested. "Unless you wanted to stay longer?" he asked cautiously.

She shook her head a little. "No, we can leave. We did what we came here to do."

She thought she might have never loved him more because he paused to look at her mom's grave again. "Bye, Mrs. Beckett, it was a pleasure to meet you," he said quietly, almost as naturally as he might have addressed her mom in person.

Her throat seemed to have clogged up, again, so all she could do was link her arm through his, briefly resting her head against his shoulder in silent appreciation as they turned away.

They were almost back to her car when her step hitched a little as she felt a little jab in her stomach and looked up at him. "Oh, she's awake now."

His smile seemed to make the gray day a little brighter as he placed his hand on her stomach. "Hey, there, did you have a nice nap? We decided on your name, you know. What do you think of Lily, huh, Sprout?"

They waited and finally, after a very long couple minutes, she felt another little kick and smiled at him. "There it is, another kick."

"I'm going to take that to mean she approves," he declared. "Isn't that right, Lily?"

There was no response this time. "Nothing, but I think you're right and she likes her name," she agreed.

"Our Lily," he murmured as they smiled into each other's eyes for a long minute. This was a perfect moment, she thought, might have been the most perfect moment she could remember–even standing there in the cemetery, it was perfect.

She was with Castle, having just felt their precious baby kick–what more could she possibly want?

~To be continued…~

A/N 2: This story is finally nearing the end, so there'll be a time jump before the next and last chapter, followed only by an Epilogue. Thank you, as always, to all readers and reviewers for sticking with this story for so long.