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Chapter 5: Decided
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She jerked up and slapped her hand over her mouth, stifling the scream that almost escaped to wake her friends. She looked around the room, seeing that both Shousei and Sachi were sleeping soundly in their futons, so she loosened the grip around her mouth. Breathing heavily she wiped the sweat off her forehead, hearing her heart pounding in her ears.
It took her nearly five minutes to calm herself down.
"Damn it, damn it…" she muttered quietly to herself as she balled her fists and squeezed her eyes shut. When would these damn nightmares stop?
I'm tired of being exhausted all day and waking up late because I can't sleep at night, she thought as she settled back in her bed, trying to forget the nightmare.
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She sighed heavily as she landed on the roof with a muffled thump, her shoulders slumping in irritation and her hair disheveled from tossing around in bed so much, a grumpy expression on her face. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get back to sleep.
She sat down at the top of the roof, where both slants met, leaning back and letting the night air play with her messy bangs. She moved the long braid Shousei had done for her before bed from under her and lay down, looking up at the multitude of silver dots that twinkled innocently down at the world.
Yamainu had asked her to forget, but how could she forget Yami or the twins? More importantly, how could she forget him?
Especially now that her dreams were constantly reminding her of his sheer malevolence.
Nikushimi, brother of her father, yet different beyond recognition. He was the cause of so much unwanted hatred and pain in herself, at herself, and to others.
He killed her father for marrying a common woman outside his permission, for belittling the family name. He killed her father when he tried to protect his wife.
Part of her wanted to be angry at her father as well, for marrying such a woman and having a child like herself: unwanted in too many places.
But another half wanted to ask, was it worth it?
Memories of her father and mother flashed through her mind, memories that had long been forgotten resurfaced and she watched as they flowed before her like a river of time…
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They were walking down a sunny path, holding hands. Their three year old daughter looked up at her parents, surprised to see them looking at each other affectionately with such tenderness that she had to wonder if they were in love…
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They were in the kitchen, having dismissed the servants for the day, trying to cook as they mocked each other good naturedly. The small child walked in to see her mother throwing a handful of rice at her father after he had made one too many jokes about over cooked onigiri…
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They were sitting on the small porch, their feet swinging in unison as he ran his fingers through her long brown hair…
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The small child watched as her father bowed his head in shame as her mother continued shouting, struggling against her captors as they dragged her away, telling him, begging him, that it wasn't true…
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His body was sprawled all over the floor, his dark black blood seeping closer and closer to his small, petrified daughter who was crouched in the corner of the room, her eyes transfixed on the bloody sight in front of her…
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The young girl watched as her mother, the woman he had loved, walked down the gray path, leaving the small girl behind with her vicious uncle, abandoning the shameful daughter…
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The pain, the hatred, bore into the girl, burning the fear she had for her demon of an uncle for years to come…
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Was it worth it?
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"Oh boy, we should've stuck with cleaning the practice hall," Shousei sighed as she looked down at the malformed balls of rice she and her sister were making. She giggled, "Look! It's Yamainu!" She held up the grumpy looking ball to her sister, but Sachi just smiled weakly before returning to her task. Shousei sighed heavily and tried to smooth out "Yamainu."
Sachi had been uncharacteristically quiet all morning, not even participating in the usual playful banter she and Yamainu took part in every morning over breakfast, choosing to brood over her bowl of rice instead. Shousei knew her sister, and she knew something was bothering Sachi.
"Maybe we should get Kenshin-kun to help us, he makes great riceballs," Shousei mused. Then she added thoughtfully, "He reminds me a lot of nii-san." She snapped her mouth shut, remembering how the topic of their family was always a touchy subject with Sachi.
"Yeah, the red hair helps, too," Sachi said quietly. Shousei looked at her sister with amazement as a smile spread across the other girl's face. "Onigiri was all nii-san could make, I wonder if he's learned anything else."
"…I don't know," Shousei replied, almost hesitantly, wondering if the subject of their family was what was bothering her sister.
"Nii-sama is probably married by now, don't you think?" she continued, oblivious to the apprehensive look on her sister's face.
"Probably," Sachi replied, looking down at the table and rolling "Yamainu" in the palm of her hand for the millionth time.
"I wonder if nii-dono has managed to deflate his head, he's probably still bossing everyone else around." Shousei shrugged in response, feeling a lead weight descend on her stomach as memories of her family surfaced in her mind. "If he does, then our little brothers probably yell at him, then otou-san probably comes out and yells at all of them." Sachi's voice cracked. "Then kaa-san has to come out and make all of them be quiet because they'll wake all the birds in the forest and scare all the babies into crying, creating a racket for the entire village." Shousei noticed a drop fall on Sachi's trembling hands. She looked up to see that tears were streaming down her sister's face. "I-If I could, I'd like to see all that again; you know, to see if they're still like they were three years ago." She looked up at Shousei, tears still falling down her face onto her kimono. "I wonder if they remember us…"
Shousei dropped her riceball on the counter abruptly as she faced her younger sister, feeling tears beginning to burn in her own eyes. "Of course they remember us! How could they forget their only two sisters?"
"Y-yeah." Sachi tried smiling, but her lip quivered and she couldn't hold the grin. "But they probably made themselves forget. Who would want two runaway daughters or sisters?" The tears that had been pooling in Shousei's wide eyes overflowed and ran down her face. Sachi squeezed her eyes shut as her whole body shook with suppressed sobs, then she looked up at Shousei, "D-Do you think they've forgiven us?"
"S-Sachi…" Shousei said, her voice shaking as well.
"D-Do you think they'd mind, if we d-dropped by for a little b-bit?" A whimper finally broke through, so that a sharp pain embedded itself in Sachi's stomach and throat as she tried her hardest not to sob… too hard. "I m-miss them… our family…" At that moment Sachi looked so pitiful, just like she would years ago when she couldn't please her parents.
Except this time Shousei also felt a pang of desperation in her chest.
Shousei wrapped her arms around her younger sister, not saying anything as they both cried into each other's shoulders.
Kami, let them remember us…
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Kyouri sighed heavily as she wrapped her arms around her legs, looking at the river ahead of her as she sat on the small log.
The atmosphere in the dojo had been too heavy for her; it was as if everyone but Kaoru and Yahiko was brooding on something. She had hoped to talk to Sanosuke, but he had dropped by for only a little while, and he had made a pointed effort to avoid her for some reason.
That had really bugged her.
He must have his reasons, Kyouri mentally reasoned with herself for the hundredth time that day, so as not to go rampaging through Tokyo looking for the guy to ask him what the hell was his problem.
What the hell's your problem? a small voice in the back of her head asked her. Ten years of ignoring random guys and you get hung up over this one?
Sano's not random, she pouted. I've known him for a long time.
Before the small voice could retort she saw said rooster-head sauntering down the bridge that was a little ways downstream. She lifted her head and caught him as he glanced at her. He stopped, not breaking eye contact.
Would he ignore her and head straight to the dojo, or would he come down and talk to her?
He seemed to be thinking this over as he stood there. Hours seemed to click by for Kyouri, and she finally sighed and buried her head back in her arms.
It's not like she could force him to talk to her.
…Well, okay, she could, but it wouldn't be the same as him talking to her willingly.
More hours slipped by as she watched the sun sink slowly into the silhouette of buildings behind the river, then she finally heard him sit down besides her.
"Glad you're not ignoring me," she said. He didn't answer and a vein began to throb on her forehead. She looked up at him, ready to chuck him into the river if need be, but stopped cold when she saw the serious look on his face as he watched the river.
They sat in silence, a tense air lingering around them.
"So do you actually like it?" he asked, not shifting his gaze from the river.
"What?"
"Running around Japan like you do, do you like it?"
She shrugged, hiding any feelings with an indifferent expression, "It's not the best lifestyle, but it'll do."
"Some life," Sano muttered, his impassive air disappearing under irritation.
She gave him a harsh look, "I don't care how I live as long as I do it away from him."
He turned and looked at her, surprising her with the sharpness of his honey brown eyes, "Well you should."
She frowned. "Just because I've got different priorities…"
"Don't you get it?" Sano snapped back, his frustration flaring. "You've been running for the past ten years to keep away from him so you could control your own life, but even if he's not here physically he's still managing to do that! If you really want to take control of your own life, then do what you want when you want without worrying about that bastard!"
Kyouri was stunned as Sano gave an exasperated snort and stood up, looking down the river with the same hard expression, his face set so seriously it was a little frightening.
"To be able to live how you want, 'complete equality,' that was the Captain's dream, what he lived and died for." Kyouri's eyes were widened with amazement.
Sano…When did he become like this…?
She stopped herself mid-thought, mentally berating herself for being astounded by his behavior. After ten years, Sanosuke had grown into a man, much more than the little boy she had last known, and probably much more than most nineteen year olds in Tokyo. She kept seeing him for the child that had followed their Captain around relentlessly, but now he was a man that was living with his own ideals in his own life.
It was wrong of her to impose on his lifestyle so much. After all, that was how he chose to live.
Could she really do the same?
She looked up at him again, noting how tall he was, probably as tall as Yamainu. Only, he had grown up in a lot more different ways.
He was a different person now, but could she stay here and get to know him again?
It was, after all, what she had been waiting for, running for… wasn't it?
Choose.
I just want to be happy… like my father would have wanted.
Kyouri sighed audibly, then leaned back, balancing on the log with such a casual air that it surprised Sano, making his serious face falter.
"To think my angel of reasoning would be you, Sanosuke," Kyouri sighed lazily once again, a smile forming on her face.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sano said, arching his eyebrow and wondering if he had just been insulted or complimented.
"Nothing, nothing," Kyouri grinned openly now, but then her face darkened thoughtfully as she looked down at her feet. "But, you know, you may have a point." Now Sano arched both eyebrows at her. She beamed up at him. "I kinda like it in Tokyo, maybe I'll stay for a while. After all, I did promise Kaoru-chan I'd give her cooking lessons." Now Sano grinned, his usual care free expression taking its place on his face. That had been a lot easier than he had thought. He had at least expected to get thrown into the river or something.
"Kami knows she needs 'em," he replied, putting his hands in his pockets. They looked at each other amiably, the orange sun setting behind him and giving him a gold lining. He turned and noted the approaching nighttime as she heard a small rumble escape from his stomach. "Speaking of which, I think it's almost time for dinner." Kyouri raised her eyebrow at him, grinning widely. His stomach worked just like clockwork. He caught the strange look she was giving him. "What? I take my food seriously." She chuckled, standing up besides him, sighing again.
"Sano?" she asked, glancing up at him.
"What?"
"Thanks." She smiled gratefully at him from under the long brown bangs that hung over her eyes.
"Yeah, yeah, no problem," Sano shrugged as he began walking up the bank. "Just note that I'm staying away from Kenshin and his washtub."
"And I guess…" Kyouri sighed. "…that I'm okay with that."
"Good."
"All righty then." They grinned at each other again, standing in the tall grass in silence, reaching an unspoken understanding.
"Did I mention I was hungry?"
"Kami, Sano, just get going," she said with an exasperated grin as she walked past him.
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Note:
Hmm…
Hmmmmm….
Hmmmmmmmmmmm….
I did a lot of thinking in this chapter…. Well, okay, not a lot, but more than usual!
This chapter was a lot longer than it is now, complete with a really bizarre nightmare and a whole lot of unnecessary drama, which I obviously cut out (with good reason… I hope). So, this chapter is really really short.
In any case, I hope you guys enjoyed it!
Reviewer Responses:
Haki: Cool, your mom's Japanese? And it's AZ as in Arizona, the evil state. Thanks for reviewing my other fic! I'm gonna respond to those reviews here because I'm currently having a complete brain fart on that story. Don't expect any updates too soon. Yesh, I love Enishi-chan too (not as much as Sano, but what the hey). And, nope, Sano's not gonna be in that fic (he's somewhere in Mongolia at that time). Very sad…. As for her age, I dunno, maybe, like, twenty five or something? I have to do the math, but I'm feeling lazy right now. Anyway, thank youuuu!
Rayne-chan: Suspense and mystery! Whoo ooo (-makes weird noises and waves arms around until sister gives her a weird look and she stops-). Heh, I'm glad you liked that chapter!
WhiteRabbit5: Hurray! I am sooo glad you liked that chapter! And BRING IT ON! C/C rocks, if ya ask me. Mwa ha ha, I'm good with nightmares (I'm creepy that way). Well, I'm not gonna say why it's 'supernatural,' but I'll be dropping hints, so keep an eye out for those!
Omasuoniwabanshu: Bing bing bing! Yep, Kyouri's the 'supernatural,' but… why? (-shifty eyes-). I'm glad to have the honor of being the first to glomp you virtually! Congratulations to me! Thanks for reviewing!
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Kie-san's random note on irrelevant random stuff:
I like manga. No, I love manga. Yes, anime's cool, but manga… wow. So, you can imagine how happy I was when I found the site directmanga . com. They upload SCANNED AND TRANSLATED MANGA for people to download by chapter and read… for free! So, what does this have to do with anything?
THEY HAVE THE COMPLETE RUROUNI KENSHIN MANGA.
So! GO. GET. IT. If you haven't read the manga but like the anime, then I swear you'll love the manga sooo much and realize that the anime's really not… that…great… And if you haven't read the Jinchuu arc (with Enishi-chan), then do yourself a favor and go read it (volumes 18 and up).
Just spreadin' the love here!
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Please don't forget to review!
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