*BPOV*
"Bella, how much do you know about your family lineage?" Alice asked, and for the first time, I noticed the file folder tucked under her arm.
"Um, not much beyond my grandparents on both sides. I never really gave much thought to the generations before that because they all died before I was born," I answered, feeling suddenly ashamed that I'd never before had any interest in my own ancestors.
"Not all of them," Alice contradicted and opened the file folder on my dresser and stabbed a finger at the family tree that was filled in with her familiar penmanship. It was the topmost sheet of paper in a small stack.
"Edward, you met Peggy Bradley today. Bradley is her married name. She is the granddaughter of Dottie Duncan, a product of her first marriage to Jimmy Duncan. But look at this!" Alice flipped to the next page in the stack.
"This is where it gets interesting! Edward, when you rescued Dottie her name was Dottie Duncan. Dottie became a patient of the Kalamazoo Regional Psychiatric Hospital in 1932. Back then it was called the Michigan State Asylum for the Insane.
"It wasn't easy, but through some of my contacts from my advocacy work, I was able to get my hands on some old intake records.
"She was a patient there for eight years. She was eventually discharged and went on to marry again. A man named Elijah. Elijah Swan."
Alice didn't let me process that before she flipped to another page and pointed to a signature on a xeroxed photocopy of a decades-old-looking document on official hospital letterhead.
"Now look here. Elijah Swan was the doctor that discharged her. That's where Dottie met her second husband!
"Dottie and Elijah went on to have two children of their own, Geoffrey and Margot, and were married for 35 years until Elijah passed away in 1975. Dottie passed away in '84 at the age of 74. They are buried next to each other in the family plot outside of Kalamazoo."
I stared at Elijah Swan's signature with disbelieving eyes. "Geoffrey Swan is-"
"Charlie's father!" Alice finished for me. "Edward," Alice stared incredulously at my husband who was even paler than usual.
"If you hadn't saved Dottie, she never would've met Elijah, and Bella never would have been born. You rescued her great grandmother and that's why you couldn't hear her thoughts. She wasn't unconscious. She was a latent shield, just like Bella, I'm sure of it!"
"Holy crow!" I exclaimed, looking between Edward and Alice in complete astonishment.
"You can say that again!" Alice concurred, her huge golden eyes sparkling with excitement.
"So then Peggy Bradley is my…?" I asked, trying to figure out how she was related to me.
"Half second cousin once removed. I think. I'm not a genealogist.
"I wonder if Charlie knows about her?" I asked absently. "He's never mentioned any distant relatives before."
"Doubtful. She and Charlie share Dottie as a grandma but through different marriages. It's possible that after her long confinement at the mental hospital that she started over with Elijah and didn't look back. And Peggy didn't seem to know what had become of her grandmother after she was committed, right?"
I mulled that over for a moment, then turned my attention to Edward who was sitting up stock-still on our bed. His frozen face wore a completely vacant expression.
"You still haven't said anything, Edward. Isn't that amazing? You haven't just saved my life! You...ensured my existence.." And then to be purposely flippant I added, "Small world, huh?"
"You're going to have to give him a minute, Bella. His entire worldview just changed," Alice said with a smug smirk. "I'll see myself out. You're welcome," she sang haughtily and pressed the file folder into my hand.
"Alice…" Edward stuttered, still speechless.
"I know. You're welcome," she repeated, this time more sincerely. And then she turned and sashayed out of the room, leaving us alone once again.
*EPOV*
I sat there, frozen to the bed, completely stunned at this turn of events. For the better part of a century, I hated myself for all the blood on my hands.
My rebellious period, as I'd taken to calling it, was the most shameful period of my life. A dark stain on what might've been called an honorable life. Afterlife. Whatever you want to call it.
On judgment day, maybe my intent will matter, maybe it won't. But no matter how I sliced it, I was a murderer, a fact that I despised about myself whenever I looked at my Bella who was so inherently good.
And now with the weighty knowledge that that one singular action was directly responsible for the very life of my one true love, my blood singer. It was like I was absolved from my sins. Not just absolved. Cosmically rewarded with the greatest gift I could have ever imagined.
To say my worldview had changed was a colossal understatement.
I could feel Bella's eyes appraising me, waiting for me to say something, but what could I say? I had spent so long feeling such guilt and self-loathing and existential despair, and in one fell swoop, the burden had been lifted. Expunged.
One would expect to feel different. Lighter somehow, but I didn't. Because I'd spent a lifetime believing I was a murderous, loathsome monster. A creature straight from the fiery pits of hell. And I told myself that so many times, hated myself for it so long, that I internalized it. The self-hatred had become a part of me.
And now, even though I had evidence to the contrary, I couldn't just snap my fingers and think that maybe I was something good, too.
Perhaps it wasn't Dottie's psyche that had been irretrievably damaged by the experience, but mine. After all, she survived, moved on, and found something better on the other side of all that pain.
And knowing that Bella was a direct descendant of this woman, somehow that didn't surprise me one bit.
The mattress dipped slightly as Bella crawled back onto the bed beside me. Then I felt two smooth granite hands cup either side of my face.
Would you please tell me what you're thinking before I go mad? she asked in a gently teasing mental tone. Her warm eyes urged my unseeing ones to meet her gaze.
I took her hands from my face and held them in my own, kissing the knuckles on both of her hands before speaking.
"Just grappling with all the implications, love," I sighed, finally looking at her for the first time since Alice had walked in here and changed everything that I thought I knew about myself.
"I don't understand. It's a good thing, isn't it?" Bella's brow furrowed, trying to find the reason for my sullenness.
I reached up with the tip of my finger and smoothed the little " v" worried between her brows. "It's pretty miraculous, actually. It's just...do you remember when we got back together after Italy, how you had a really hard time believing the truth after all the lies I told you?"
Bella nodded, a pained expression on her face.
"Well imagine how much harder it would have been to believe the truth if I had been lying to you for close to a hundred years. That's sort of where I'm at right now," I admitted, my eyes falling from hers to stare at the wrinkled cotton sheets that covered my lap.
She nodded again in understanding, more slowly this time as she chewed on her lower lip, seeming to deliberate which words she wanted to say next.
"I can understand that. But do you want to know what I think?" she asked, a serene smile on her angelic face.
"Don't I always?" the side of my mouth quirked up in a weak half-smile.
"I think you finally have your proof that we belong together. That you didn't do anything wrong by killing those horrible men or by changing me. And maybe that scares you more than the narrative you've been clinging to all these years."
"And why would that scare me?"
Bella looked thoughtful again for a moment, then answered, "Because being a mind reader has made you arrogant that you've got it all figured out. You were so sure that your version of the truth was the correct one, and it scares the hell out of you to wonder what else you might be wrong about."
I blew out a gust of air in a noisy stream as if it had been knocked out of me.
"Don't hold back, now," I snarked and laughed once. The sound had a slight edge to it. She was always so much more perceptive than I gave her credit for.
"And..."
"Oh boy, there's more?" I asked, with an exaggerated look of horror.
Bella just smiled and continued, "And it means you're going to have to stop moping and learn to enjoy your life. And of those two things, one definitely comes more naturally to you than the other."
My smarting ego was growing more eager by the second to change the subject. "Are you sure you don't want to pursue a degree in psychology? I think you'd be a natural at it," I smirked.
"Not this time around. But I'm glad you brought that up! After doing some research today, I wanted to ask you how you felt about double majoring…Ya know, since you're taking all my classes with me to make sure I don't accidentally kill someone," she said with a little snort.
*BPOV*
"Double majoring in what?" Edward asked with a bit too much enthusiasm. I was sure he was pleased with himself that his deflection tactics had worked.
"Either criminal justice or law. Turns out an uneducated vampire isn't much use to the plight of the disenfranchised. If I want to make a real difference, a degree in either of those fields would put me in the best position to help...Though, I still want to study guitar, hence the double major..."
"Well, my vote is for criminal justice. Just think of how thrilled Charlie would be!" Edward grinned. I smiled back. I couldn't help it. It was cute how Edward was always thinking of ways to get on my father's good side.
"Yeah, except I don't want to enforce the law, I want to reform it," I pointed out.
"I doubt that will matter to him," he shrugged. "I'm sure there are lots of things about his job that he wishes were different. Besides, I doubt very much that he'll care what you decide to study, especially on your graduation day," Edward beamed.
That was most certainly true. Charlie had wanted to go to college, but his parents were ailing and he felt duty-bound to stay close to home and care for them.
That he'd managed to climb the ranks all the way up to police chief without a formal education was nothing short of impressive. That said, me going to college was a big deal to Charlie.
To Renee, being the free spirit that she was, my getting a higher education wasn't a hill she'd ever die on. She always said that she'd gotten more life experience waitressing at diners and working other odd jobs that she'd picked up on the grand road trip of life than anybody she'd ever met who'd gone to college and sat in a fancy office.
"An office is just a jail cell with windows. Never forget that, Bella," she'd say as we combed the aisles of thrift shops looking for my school clothes. I hated it then, of course. I wanted new clothes as much as the next kid. Ones without strange smells, stains, or holes.
Now that I was a little older and more environmentally conscious, I could appreciate that buying secondhand clothes was not only more cost-effective, but it was also worthwhile to give gently used clothing new life, rather than letting them pile up and rot in a landfill. Try telling that to Alice, though.
"Where did you go just now?" Edward's question broke me out of my abstraction.
I shook my head as if to dispel the unwanted thoughts. "Trying not to think about my mother, so how about that guitar lesson you promised me?" I suggested, forcing a smile. "Unless you'd like to talk about you some more?" I offered brightly.
In the blink of an eye, Edward had blitzed out of the room, still stark naked, and returned a moment later carrying my guitar case, a few books, a pack of guitar picks, and a couple of other odds and ends.
"If we're going to do this, you're either going to need to take your clothes off or I need to put mine back on. Either way, I'm not going to be the only one naked," he announced, rewarding me with my favorite crooked smile.
"Get dressed. I'm not going to learn a darn thing if we're both naked," I laughed lightly, half-dazzled by the chiseled perfection of Edward's bare body.
"That's much less fun than how I imagined it going, but if you insist," he pouted a little, then smiled to let me know he was only teasing.
*EPOV*
After giving Bella a quick rundown of the anatomy of the guitar and how to tune it, I moved on to some simple chords.
"G-major, D-major, e-minor, C-major," I strummed each chord in demonstration as I named them. "I'll let you in on a little secret. Once you know those four chords, you can play the vast majority of popular music."
"For instance…" and then I played and sang a medley that included Journey's "Don't Stop Believing," The Beatles "Let it Be," With or Without you" by U2, "Time of Your Life," by Green Day, and capped it off with one of Bella's favorites, Linkin Park's, "In the End."
I laughed at Bella's expression. Her brow was all scrunched up and her jaw was nearly on the floor. She looked outraged."You mean to tell me that all of those songs are just four chords?" she lambasted. "What a bunch of cheaters!"
I laughed some more and shook my head. God, she could be so adorable.
"Those and nearly every other pop hit written over the last forty years," I confirmed and handed back her guitar so she could practice.
I sat back and watched her work on her finger placement. She fumbled around a bit while she got comfortable and after a bit of repetition and some coaching on my part, she was starting to play the chords with more accuracy.
I praised her enthusiastically whenever she played them correctly and encouraged her to try again whenever she flinched at a wrong note.
"The convenient thing about learning to play the guitar as a vampire is that if you were human, you'd have blisters by now," I remarked jovially as she tirelessly plucked at the strings.
"I'll say! And I won't even develop calluses," giggled Bella as she nailed the chord progression.
"That's my girl! Try it a few more times, and when it's second nature, I'll teach you your first song."
As Bella started to get it down, I moved over to my piano.
"I'll play through the introduction, and when I give you your cue, you play. Just like I showed you. We'll take it nice and easy. "
And just like that, we were playing together, Van Morrison's Brown Eyed Girl. It obviously wasn't perfect. There were some missed notes and a few times she strayed off the beat but it didn't matter.
Bella and I were making music together, and it felt better than I possibly could have imagined. It was a different sort of love-making, but an intimate union of two people just the same.
Standing in the sunlight laughing
Hiding 'hind a rainbow's wall
Slipping and sliding
All along the waterfall with you
My brown-eyed girl
You, my brown-eyed girl
Do you remember when we used to sing?
Sha-la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la, tee-da...
Up at the main house, I could hear Esme and Carlisle, who had just gotten home from the hospital fundraiser, singing and dancing along. I smiled a little wider at their gaiety.
When the final chord rang out, Bella yanked the guitar strap over her head and carefully set her guitar in its case and a moment later she was in my arms, sitting across my lap on the piano bench. She excitedly threw her arms around me and peppered me with kisses.
"That was AMAZING! I can't believe I just did that!" She squealed, her golden eyes wide and bright with excitement.
"You are officially a musician. Keep practicing. There will be a quiz later," I teased and kissed her again.
*BPOV*
The following morning over breakfast, everyone seemed to be in an extra buoyant mood. Jasper was downright chipper.
"You should be proud of yourself, May! The entire hospital is buzzing about what a great event that was and how the fundraiser doubled its goal," Carlisle praised, using the old nickname he reserved for Esme. He kissed her on top of her head as he pulled up a chair and sat down beside her.
"Oh, I hardly lifted a finger," Esme swatted a hand through the air dismissively, modest as ever. "Edward was the big star. Everybody just loved your piano playing!" she smiled widely at her eldest son.
"I'd say Peggy Bradley was the real MVP of that party though, wouldn't you, brother?" grinned Jasper.
He was happier than I'd ever seen him! But I supposed it made sense when I really thought about it. After all, who had more to gain from Edward being unburdened by his guilt than Jasper?
"Alright, somebody catch me up, who's Peggy Bradley? I was stuck in surgery," Carlisle asked over the top of his newspaper.
"She's my half second cousin once removed, apparently," I chuckled as I gratefully accepted the folded-up colored pages of the Sunday funnies that Carlisle always saved for me.
"A good tipper, too," Edward added with an approving nod.
Carlisle looked back and forth uncomprehendingly between Edward and me. "Sorry, I don't think I follow you," he said politely.
"Ooh! Let me!" Alice piped up excitedly. "Carlisle, you're an even bigger romantic than Edward is. You are going to love this!" she bounced a little in her seat.
"So it all started when I got this vision of a woman in a hideous blue skirt suit, and I mean it was god-awful…"
*A/N* I might need to write a Dottie & Elijah spin-off someday. I had TOO much fun mapping out the Swan family tree. I looked like the Pepe Silvia meme.😂
I drew a bit of inspiration from this chapter from a great movie I watched a while back called "Escaping the Madness, the Nellie Bly Story."
In it, Christina Ricci stars as Nellie Bly, a real-life investigative reporter who goes undercover by getting herself committed in order to write an exposé on Women's Lunatic Asylums in the late 1800s. While inside, she meets a handsome doctor who realizes she's not like his other patients.😍 It was a great watch!
Thanks for reading and reviewing! I always love to hear what you think. Til next time lovelies!
