Notes: This story is Ino/Lee, a pairing which I honestly don't give a flying fuck about. It's sort of a humorous challenge that lodged in my brain. There will be assorted swearing and sexual references, which means I'll say 'fuck' a lot and there'll be badly-written smut. Oh, and I don't own Naruto and don't really care to. So there.
"Laid"
Part the Third:
In which people comment on Sakura's taste in decor.
We reached the apartment I shared with Sakura without incident. I was quite lucky in that respect. Even luckier was the fact that Sakura was not home.
Since this is, in the end, a story about getting lucky, I suppose that shouldn't come as a surprise.
After a quick fumble with the keys, I unlocked the door to my apartment and Lee hauled me inside. He politely kicked his shoes off at the door then unceremoniously dropped me on the sofa. "Ow," I muttered. "Fuck."
Lee stretched his muscles by rotating his arms like a loon. I felt vaguely guilty at the knowledge that my weight had been a significant strain to even the young Green Beast of Konoha on our cross-town hike. I may be pretty skinny but I'm tall and not light by any stretch of the imagination.
I pulled myself nervously up to an approximately seated position and gave him a red-faced, hot-eyed smile that I hoped conveyed a little gratitude and not just my mindless inspection of his fine physique. "Thanks, Lee," I said cheerfully, my voice not strained AT ALL. "I'm starting to feel better, thanks to your help getting home."
Lee seated himself carefully in the overstuffed armchair opposite the sofa. He seemed a little confused by all the frilly pink and turquoise pillows that crowded his chosen seat (courtesy of Sakura's mad decorating spree of six months ago), but he refrained from commenting on the clashing colors and ridiculous fluff. "You're very welcome, Ino-san." He turned his lighthouse beam of a smile at me. "You have a very nice apartment, Ino-san. I really like your curtains."
I goggled briefly, then gave up and just agreed with him. "Yeah, Sakura picked out the valence design but I nixed her fabric choice and ended up just doing them myself . . ."
"Sakura-san is such a good friend to have aided you in decorating your apartment," he replied, light pinging off his white, white teeth. There was a faint blush on his cheeks.
"Uh, yeah," I said. Lord, I hope I get out of this situation before he re-encounters Sakura. He's a already a lunatic, nevermind the insanity that will descend should his One True Love show up. I began to feel a little grumpy.
"So," I began, carefully standing up. Good, balance is back, as is feeling in my feet. "I also want to thank you for coming to lunch with me today. I know it kind of ended . . . well, awkwardly, but I really appreciate the effort you put into pretending to . . . er, be my boyfriend." I stifled a grimace and avoided his intense gaze. "It was . . . fun."
"It was my pleasure, Ino-san!" he replied cheerfully. "Gai-sensei taught me to be both respectful of women and to assist my friends and companions whenever necessary. Today's luncheon allowed me to fulfil both duties!" I avoided looking at his huge, idiot grin.
"Uh, yeah," I said again.
"I am in the springtime of my youth!" he declared solemnly, "And what good is that if I don't share it with the people I care about!"
That brought me up short and I stared at him. "People . . . you, uh, care about?" I sat back down with a whump.
Lee paused. "Well, yes, Ino-san. You are a close friend of mine!"
"Um," I said. "Lee, I think I've exchanged more words with you today than I have in all the other years I've known you put together. I like you very much, but I'm not sure I count as a friend."
In one of his weirdly bi-polar shifts, his smile vanished to be replaced by a stern, oddly earnest expression. "You give yourself too little credit, Ino-san!" He suddenly stood from the chair, brushing off the floofy pillows and settling next to me, taking my hand in his. "Who was it who gave me my first real hair-cut?"
"Well, I don't think that counts," I mumbled, blushing furiously. "First of all, I was six, and second of all, I don't think a poorly-aimed kunai really counts as a haircut . . ."
"Who gave me so many tips about wooing females? Who helped me gain the courage to ask Sakura-san out?"
I didn't answer, feeling guilty again. I mean, yeah, sure, I helped him out, but only in the faint hope of his somehow wooing Sakura away from Sasuke, who would then instantly fall into my arms. Hey, it could have worked.
"Who gave me my New Year's kiss this past year and then walked me home out of concern for a dear friend?" Now his earnest look was tempered with a bit of the hot-eyed gaze I'd been giving him earlier. Oh, dear.
I suddenly realized what he'd just said, and simultaneously wondered how drunk I'd been that I didn't even remember the incident. "Well, er, perhaps you're right, Lee . . ."
He slowly drew my hand up to his mouth and kissed it with hot, damp lips. I shivered.
"If you're feeling better, Ino-san," he began, his gaze catching and holding mine, "Then I should let you continue your evening's activities." His lips curled into a somehow-less-absurd version of his Gai-sensei Grin. "Of course, if you're still feeling unwell, and I can be of assistance, if would be only proper for me to stay with you and attend to your needs."
He carefully lay my hand down on my lap and began to very slowly trace a finger up the outside of my thigh.
I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing at this point.
See, if this was one of those dumb kids' cartoons that Naruto still watches, I'd have a little angel on one shoulder and a little devil on the other, and they'd advise me on what to do.
Stay good, Ino! The little angel might look a bit like Sakura, I guess. It would be unfair to take advantage of this nice, strapping young man's overzealous chivalry!
Too bad I don't have the little angel, just the little devil.
Fuck, I am the little devil.
Come on, Ino. This is your chance for no-strings-attached physicality with someone who you've already accidentally made out with for three hours in an alleyway. He'll be polite and discreet and for fuck's sake look at the size of the boy's HANDS!
Decision made, I abruptly stood up and grabbed his hand in mine. "Lee-kun," I said sweetly, giving him the Look from behind my mascara-coated lashes. "How about I show you some of the rest of the apartment?"
He allowed himself to be led, looking a bit bemused by my sudden shift. Then again, he might have been expecting it. It's hard to tell with Rock Lee, at times. I led him past the kitchen and past Sakura's room.
"This is my bedroom," I said, by way of introduction as I not-so-gently pushed him through the doorway and toward my unmade bed. Bed, meet Rock Lee. Lee, Bed. There, that's enough introduction for one evening, I think.
"I like your color scheme, Ino-saaaaaaAGH."
I neatly tripped him up at the end of the bed and sent him sprawling amidst the tangled sheets.
He smiled vaguely up at me and propped himself up on his elbows. "I see you're still not quite feeling well, Ino-san," he said.
"I require tending to," I announced as I pulled my shirt off and jumped onto the bed with him.
"Ah, I see," he replied before he seized me and kissed me with all the mind-numbing skill from before.
Making out behind a ramen shop can be very exciting, but it doesn't generally lend itself to the full-body explorations that a real bed allows. I appreciated this fact almost immediately. Lee had me stripped down to my underwear before I'd even finished the first button on his shirt.
"Eep! I'm ticklish there!"
"My aplogies, Ino-san, I'll try something else then . . ."
"Oh, better . . ."
"That's reassuring to hear, Ino-san."
"Try a bit lower and . . . whoa."
"Am I moving too fast, Ino-san?"
"Oh, boy . . ."
Dialogue like this isn't exactly scintillating, but I didn't bring him home for intellectual stimulation.
Ten minutes after I'd shoved him down on the bed, I realized something. His kissing was top-notch but his . . . exploratory activities were somewhat . . . exploratory. He needed more coaching than I'd expected, though once he received an instruction or discovered one of my hot-spots on his own, he never forgot.
And then it suddenly clicked in my befuddled brain.
"You didn't practice this with Tenten, did you?" I asked, flipping him over and straddling his waist to pin him.
He blushed in a way I couldn't help but find adorable. "Well, no, Ino-san . . ." He sighed mournfully. "I was rather hoping I could figure it out as we went."
I sighed in utter frustration and fished around for my bra. There was no way I was going to deflower Rock Lee. It was a sort of vaguely immoral activity in the same category of reading Jiraiya's porno-comic to a classroom of first-year academy students. I was horny, yes, but not quite ready to face the nagging guilt I knew I'd feel if I popped ol' Fuzzy Brows' cherry.
I rolled off Lee and began to put my bra back on.
"Is something wrong, Ino-san?" he asked with an appealing, sad-eyed expression on his face. "Did I do something wrong?"
"Oh, boy," I mumbled. "Uh, it's kind of like this, Lee: The way you kissed sort of implied that you were more experienced than you, uh, are. And I'm . . ."
He gave me a look like a basset hound puppy that's been smacked with a rolled-up newspaper to many times.
"You're . . . a very special person," I continued awkwardly, attempting to keep from staring at either his pathetic expression or the view his open shirt was affording me of his sleek pectorals and, oh, god, his washboard abs . . .
A moment passed.
"Ino-san?"
"A VERY SPECIAL PERSON!" I reminded myself. "And your first time deserves to be with someone you truly care about . . ."
"I care about you, Ino-san . . ."
". . . And who you love and who loves you back!" I finished with a clenched jaw.
There was a long moment of silence.
"You bring up interesting points, Ino-san," Lee said with a small frown, his brow furrowed as though he were contemplating a problem of universal import.
"Of course I do," I agreed as I searched under the bed for my skirt.
"But that's not really how Gai-sensei explained the springtime of youth," he finished and then grabbed me and pulled me onto the bed again.
"Er," I said brilliantly.
He thumbed the catch on my bra and removed it in one fluid motion. No fumbling. Ye gods, he learns fast . . .
"Give me a chance, Ino-san," he said, voice rife with both promise and pleading. "I'll figure it out. I've studied manuals!"
I was flabbergasted once more and he took this as a sign of acquiescence.
We were in the middle of yet another intense round of making-out when I heard the front door of my apartment slam.
I froze.
"Ino-san?" Lee asked, raising his face from my breasts.
"Shhhhhh!" I hissed before squirming out from under him. I yanked him to his feet and pushed him into my closet. "My roommate's home."
He stumbled over a pair of boots and gave me a baffled look. "What . . ?"
"Hide here until I can get her to go away," I ordered. Then I slammed the door closed and spun just in time for my flat-mate to stride in through my open bedroom door and catch me leaning casually against my closet wearing only a thong.
"Hi, Sakura!" I chirped, pushing hair out of my eyes.
