A/N-Alright something happened to this so I'm having to re-post the entire thing. I don't own any of the characters except for the ones I make up. And some of the grammar and stuff in this won't be "perfect" because I've never met anyone who speaks "perfectly" all the time. So happy reading.
Brooke and Haley have always been friends. They've been dating on and off for about a year. They're one of those couples that even when they aren't together they're together. They are in the middle of a "break" at the moment.
Flashbacks in Italics.
"Hey baby," Brooke said as she walked over to meet her best friend/ex/crush/love of her life.
"Hey Tigger," Haley greeted back with a smile. She loved nothing more than for Brooke to call her baby. She never got tired of it even after all this time. "So what do I owe the pleasure of this visit, my dear."
"Oh the pleasure is all mine," Brooke answered with a wink.
Haley just shook her head. "Brooke, calm yourself, I know you want me but gosh...it's still early."
"You know you love it. Don't pretend like you don't."
"Oh snap, I've been caught," Haley retorted walking over and placing a quick kiss on Brooke's lips.
Brooke looked at the other girl with total shock on her face. "Wow," she said as a big smile crawled across her face. "I'm guess today is going to be a good day," she said still a little stunned by her friend's actions. It wasn't like they had never kissed before. But they normally don't do that when they're on one of their "breaks". Not that Brooke minded the kiss at all.
"Don't look so shocked Brookie. How do you expect me to keep myself from kissing you when you're so cute all the damn time." Haley just had to laugh at the expression still planted on the other girl's face. No matter what Brooke did she was completely and totally irresistible.
The next day.
The girls were at Haley's house watching a movie. However neither girl could seem to keep focused on the picture in front of them. Both girls kept stealing glances and moving a little closer because neither could stand being so close but not be touching.
Haley finally caved, not being able to stand the torture any longer and climbed on top of Brooke.
"Well hello there, baby." Brooke said as Haley made herself comfortable on her lap. "You know if you wanted my attention you could have turned off the movie or I don't know said something."
"Brooke, shut up. I know you weren't watching the movie anyway...you were watching my hot self. So I thought I would save us both the trouble." With that Haley moved in to kiss the brunette beneath her. The kiss soon became heated. A little more heated than either girl had expected it to become.
Brooke was the first to pull away and tried to gain her senses. "Haley, are you sure we should be doing this?"
"Brooke, I'm sure. I love you more than anything. I just want you."
Brooke's eyes lit up at this. She then attacked Haley's lips with her own and managed to get Haley on her back. "Damn Tigger, you must have really missed me," Haley teased between kisses.
"You have no idea," Brooke said her voice husky.
A few hours later.
The girls had spent the rest of the morning making out and cuddling in each other's arms. They were now in the kitchen getting some lunch.
"Hey Brookie, you want a sandwich or what?"
"Yeah that sounds good," she answered as she joined Haley in the kitchen. Brooke smiled as she saw the other girl hard at work fixing the food. No matter what she never got tired of the girl. After all they had been through she didn't think she would ever grow tired of her.
The girls sat to eat their food. They were sharing a comfortable silence when Haley broke it.
"Brooke, we have to stop this."
"Excuse me?" Brooke asked as she felt her heart fall. "We need to stop eating?"
"No, we need to stop this, us. I can't be with you how you want me to be. It's wrong and I can't do it anymore." Haley explained quickly never removing her eyes from her plate.
"Oh...ok." Brooke replied at a loss for words.
"Ok? That's all you have to say?"
"Well Hales, there really isn't anything I can say now is there? You do this all the time. One minute you want to be with me the next you don't," Brooke replied the hurt evident in her voice.
"Brooke I'm so sorry for doing this to you. I just know in my heart that this is wrong. It's not the best for us. It goes against everything I believe and have ever been taught."
Brooke just looked at her with an empty expression on her face.
"Don't be mad at me Brooke. I can't change what the Bible says. I can't change how I feel about it. I mean we can still be friends just how we are now. But we can't be together."
Anger rushed through Brooke's body as Haley's words registered. "Friends how we are now? Excuse me but wasn't your tongue just down my throat not even 30 minutes ago?"
"Yeah?" Haley answered not really seeing the point in Brooke's question.
"Well it's ok for you to kiss me and to fuck around with me. But to have a relationship with me, is wrong? To love me and to be with me and to let me take care of you that's all wrong?"
"Brooke...don't be," Haley began but was cut off.
"No Haley. Damnit, we've been together on and off now for a year. And you pick now to decide to listen to the Bible. Haley we grew up in church together so I'm aware of what it says. Why now? Why the sudden change?"
"It's just wrong Brooke. We both know it. I have to do the right thing. I hope you understand."
"I understand...but you're wrong. This what we have...I don't see how it can be wrong," Brooke countered as the tears started rolling down her face. With that she got up to leave.
"Brooke wait. I love you."
"Haley, don't. Not right now. You've made your choice."
"I need you Brooke." Brooke acted as if she hadn't heard those last words and walked out the door. The truth is..she heard them and they shattered her already broken heart.
Today. Brooke's room.
I can't believe this is happening, again. Brooke thought as she paced around her room tears still streaming down her face. It had been 3 days since her little chat with Haley. I can't believe I could be so stupid and the worst part is, I still love that girl with all my heart.
She couldn't stand the thinking anymore so she grabbed her journal to write.
November 26,
You,
You're all I think about. You're always on my mind. I want to hate you but I find it impossible. I want to forget but everything reminds me of you. You haunt me in my sleep you won't go away but yet you have. You've let go and moved on. Because it's the "right" thing to do. But I...I wait and hold on. Maybe you haven't fully moved on and let go but it seems like it's so much easier for you. I don't understand. I say that I "get it" but I'm not sure that I ever will. It hurts so bad to think that what we had/have is a mistake or wrong. It feels so right...how can it be wrong? The worst part is knowing that things will never be the same. I have this feeling that there will always be tension between us. Can we really go on like that? Will we ever fully get past this? I'm so scared that we won't. That no matter how hard I try that we won't be able to save this. I'm not ready to say "good bye" I can't lose you. I'd be so lost. But even though I know it would kill me to totally exit your life I would. I would do anything to make you happy. And I know that doing the "right" thing makes you the most happy. So if me leaving will make it easier..that's what I will do. I wonder what will hurt the most: the day you told me you love me too but we can't be together or the day when I realize you're 100 over me?
Brooke began to doodle after her entry was complete and when she was done she looked to see what had come of her little sketch. A black and grey broken heart with the words "you broke it, now fix it" written under it. "God Haley James, you sure have done a number on me," Brooke thought as the tears began to fall again.
End of chapter one. I don't mean to offend anyone by the mention of God or the Bible in this story. So if it offends you maybe you shouldn't read this because it will most likely be a part of this story later on down the line.
