A/N: This one is rather short, but still better than no update, right? :)
Chapter 4: When things get even more awkward
Hermione stared at the big pile of food on her plate. It was scary how much she ate nowadays, but she couldn't help it. She always felt so hungry! Her body needed significantly more nutrients than when female. Luckily enough, her new male body had a fabulous metabolism and she could pretty much eat all she wanted without getting fat. It was absolutely terrific.
Hermione also made a mental note to herself to never make scolding remarks at Ron ever again about the mountains of food he always devoured. She totally got it now.
"… I dunno. She was quite snippy this morning. I think she's annoyed that she isn't the only girl in family anymore. Ginny was always 'special' as the only daughter, but now there's also me. So she's miffed she's not getting the special treatment from mum and dad any longer," Hermione caught the snippet of conversation between Ron and Harry. She had already wondered about Ron's younger sister's whereabouts. The girl was nowhere to be seen, which was strange since Ginny had been pretty much attached to her brother's hip the last couple of weeks. However, judging by Ron's remarks now, the two siblings had a falling out. It was a real pity since the two of them had been getting along so well (which was a very nice change from their constant bickering). Hermione only hoped that Ron hadn't told his sister those exact things he'd just told them; because if he had, then it was no surprise that Ginny snubbed him. Even if his words possibly held some truth, they weren't exactly nice.
"And then there's also the part with me being competition in the looks department. Not trying to be conceited here, but I'm one hot-looking redhead," Ron continued whilst Harry didn't know what to add to the strange topic of discussion. Although he now hung out with Ron like before again, Hermione could see that Harry still felt extremely weirded out sometimes. Hermione also observed that the motto "weird comments shall all be ignored" seemed to be Harry's policy recently.
"What makes me even better is that I'm a hot lesbian," Ron added and this time Hermione and Harry both choked on their food and began coughing violently. Ron shook his head at them.
"Seriously, you lot."
Hermione pounded her chest and coughed a few more times before answering him.
"Ron, you are not a lesbian," Hermione objected.
"I beg to differ there, Hermione. As of current state, I'm a girl interested in girls - hence making me a lesbian. A hot lesbian," Ron insisted whilst Harry still tried to dislodge the food in his throat with big gulps of water.
"Gods Ron, you have the strangest thoughts these days," Hermione complained.
"I request a change of topic," Harry finally managed to contribute to the conversation, his face bright red. Ron sighed heavily.
"All right."
"Good; and don't randomly say stuff like that again while we're eating. Are you trying to kill us?" Harry demanded.
"Now you're being a little dramatic," Ron said defensively. "I was just trying to make conversation. Actually, I was just answering your question as to where Ginny was. So don't blame me."
"Yeah, okay. Let's just... let's talk about something else," Harry suggested again and fortunately got his wish granted. So Quidditch-talk it was (much to Hermione's chagrin).
"I hope you aren't too offended when I say this, but it seems like some of you are in a very foul mood today," Mister Harris remarked as he let his eyes wander over to his "female" patients and rest there. Hermione agreed to this observation wholeheartedly. People like Malfoy or Corner were never overly friendly, but both were particularly vicious today. Hermione watched as Draco drew a deep breath before he began his rant.
"Oh I'll tell you why I'm in such a 'foul mood', all right. Today I woke up with the most god-awful pains and was bleeding from my ... from my you know what. As if that wasn't bad enough, it then took me a quarter hour to insert the frigging tampon properly. So excuse me for not being all rays of sunshine."
Everyone's eyes went round at Draco's words. Even Mister Harris was a bit taken aback and didn't know immediately what to say; however Ron was there to save the day.
"You should try pads. They're much easier to use," he said helpfully, but it became apparent that Malfoy did not appreciate this piece of advice. He was too upset.
"Weasley, I do not spend a quarter hour trying to figure out how to insert these awful inventions only to then use those nappy-like things, when I finally figured it out," Draco snapped before catching himself and realising the potential embarrassment should this conversation ever be repeated to anyone outside their group.
Hermione's really couldn't help it. She really tried, but still burst out laughing uncontrollably anyway (the others somehow managed to hide their amusement more subtly). If it had been anyone else, she supposed she would have had some compassion and felt sorry for them, but since it was just Malfoy...
This was awfully uncomfortable and too funny at the same time!
Draco's eyes were now reduced to slits. "I swear, if any of you repeats what I just said, there'll be hell to pa-"
"Mister Malfoy, I have told you before and will tell you again: Stop threatening your classmates! I know I'm not your professor and can't give you detention. I can, however, go to one and ask them to take action against uncalled behaviour like this. I don't like using treats against treats, but if this is the only way...
"You are an adult - please act like it. Treat others the way you want to be treated. As far as I'm concerned, Mr. Weasley just gave you some very helpful advice," the therapist lectured Draco and gave Ron an encouraging smile. Ron proudly ate up the praise.
"Granger, laugh it up while you can. Don't think no one saw you two days ago, when you tried to sneak into the bathroom without getting detected in order to get rid of that morning wood of yours," Draco told her smugly and Hermione suddenly did not feel like laughing anymore.
"That's not... I didn't... I wasn't-," she spluttered, but didn't get very far as someone interrupted her.
"Thank goodness! I thought I was the only one having this problem," Mandy exclaimed, looking relieved that Hermione shared her plight. When Hermione cast a look at Lisa, she saw her nodding lightly in agreement as well.
"My hormones are going absolutely crazy!" Mandy added in exasperation.
Yeah, her hormones were all over the place and Hermione was not amused. 'Things' happened in the most inconvenient times too! Hermione just wanted her lady parts back. Being a boy sucked!
