He was just beginning to think she wasn't going to answer, and he certainly wouldn't blame her if she didn't, when the line clicked. He heard a muffled fumbling, then "Eames."
"I woke you," he said quietly. "I'm sorry."
"Bobby? I'm not dreaming, am I?"
"I, uh, I don't think so."
"Are you ok?"
"I told you I was."
She was awake now, certain she was indeed finally talking to her partner. "I swear, Goren, I don't know whether to be worried or pissed. What the hell is wrong with you? Why haven't you called me?"
"I did call."
"You could have called my cell and actually talked to me."
"I know."
"What, no excuses?"
"No."
She sighed, exasperated. "What's going on, Bobby?"
This was where it got hard for him. He couldn't very well say 'I had to get away because I'm in love with you and I have to get this worked out in my head or I'm going to lose my damn mind.' That wouldn't go over very well at all. He didn't want to sabotage the relationship he did have with her. But he didn't know what to tell her. "Bobby?"
"I...I have my reasons," he said lamely.
She wasn't surprised by his avoidance, so she changed the subject. "I talked to Annie."
"Oh." He didn't know what else to say. As with all his relationships, he knew the fault did not lie with Annie. But he didn't ask her what was said...he didn't want to know.
"Is that what this is about?"
"Uh, yes and no. But mostly no."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You know me better than that. If it were just that, where would I have been last night?"
She smiled. "On my couch."
"Right. It's not about that. It's more something she said to me when she broke up with me."
"Oh, great...she got you thinking."
"Yeah, she did. And I didn't like where it got me. I'm just really messed up right now, and I need to straighten things out."
"Messed up how?"
"Emotionally."
"And you didn't think I could help you?"
Help him? Sure she could help him...but that wasn't part of their relationship. "Not this time."
She was quiet. "So what do I do here, Bobby?"
"Well, first of all, you quit worrying. I'm going to be fine. I just need some space, and you, of all people, have always understood that."
"Ok. Since I always worry about you, what else can I do?"
"Trust me."
Those two words always did her in, and he knew it. It was a low blow and it made her mad. "Ok, Goren. If that's how you want it, fine."
"Don't be mad, Alex," he said, his voice quiet. "I...I have to know that you're ok, too. If you can trust me enough to believe me..."
"Do you think that's what this is about? Trust? You know that I trust you! Don't I give you free rein on every case we work? Come on. That's not what this is about, and you know it. You're the one with the trust issues, Bobby."
"I do have trust issues, but not with you." How did a good conversation deteriorate so quickly? He had to turn it around or he'd be in even worse shape. "I-I didn't call you to fight with you."
"Then why the hell did you call?"
"Because you were worried and I wanted you to know I'm ok. But I won't be ok if you hang up mad."
"It would help if we were doing this face to face."
"I know it would."
"We could remedy that, you know." Here we go, he thought. The supreme test of his resolve...saying no to his partner...to the woman he loved...aw, shit... "You could tell me where you are..."
"I could."
"But you won't, will you?"
"Not yet."
"I could find out, you know. I am a detective."
He laughed softly. "Yes, you are. A very good detective. And I am asking you not to. Please, Alex."
"Can you at least tell me where you are? If I promise to stay put and not come after you?"
"Could you do that?"
"Yes, Bobby. I can do it." He was quiet, and she guessed he was feeling trapped. "Just out of curiosity, are you near the ocean?"
"Why would you ask that?"
"Because that's where Lewis told me you usually went when you were troubled, before we became partners. Unless you're in Colorado..."
He laughed. "No, Eames. I'm not in Colorado. And yes, I am near the ocean."
"Score one for Lewis."
"His score's higher than that."
"Would you at least tell me what state you are in?"
"Eames..."
"Never mind...if you can't trust me..."
Another blow at the trust issue. Shit. "I'm in Connecticut,ok? Are you happy now?"
"You don't like it when I turn it around on you, do you?"
"No, I don't."
"Well, don't pout about it. I promise I'll give you your space if you promise me something."
"What's that?"
"Stay in touch, and quit turning off your damn phone."
"I can do that." He was quiet for a minute. He wanted to end the conversation on a good note, and the best way to do that was to catch her off her guard. "Uh, what are you doing right now?"
"What am I doing?" She was confused until she realized what he was doing. He'd done it before, and she smiled as she reflected for a second on how much she loved the man on the other end of the phone. "Well, I'm laying in bed, having the oddest conversation I think I have ever had with a man who drives me up a wall on an almost daily basis. And that's not a complaint, by the way. You are the one person in my life I don't think I'd ever want to be without. Now what are you doing?"
He sighed, an almost content sound. "Laying in bed, driving you up a wall, apparently. And I know I'd never want to be without you."
"I'm glad to hear that. Look, I do respect your need to get away, ok? Just hurry up and fix whatever it is you have to fix in that head of yours."
"I don't want to be away..." He almost said 'from you.' He must really be tired. "I need to get some sleep, and so do you."
"I feel better, you know. Thank you, Bobby."
"For what?"
"For calling me. Good night."
"Good night, Eames."
He closed the phone and set it on the bedside table, switching off the light. Turning over onto his side, he tucked an arm under his head. The curtains to the balcony were open, and he watched the lightning criss-cross the sky. The booming thunder was louder as the heart of the storm drew closer. He was still feeling unsettled, but he could rest easier knowing she wasn't upset any more. It took a long time, watching the storm and its growing intensity, before he finally drifted off to sleep.
