Disclaimer: I've written disclaimers for quite a few chapters now, so why would I suddenly own Gundam SEED?

a/n: This has been a confusing story for both me and you readers. So I'm going to stop writing this story. Sorry, if you care at all. Look to bottom for more details.


Case 4: No return

This is the path I chose.

I had the option to decide whether I wanted my hands stained with blood or not, taking or leaving the lives of others.

I could have lived a normal life. A clean life.

But I didn't.

Should I have chosen another path? At the moment, I have taken over a hundred lives, at the very least. There must have been at least a quarter that was innocent, if not more. My mind is constantly spinning, unsure of what to do.

Some people say that I will come to regret the day I ever involved myself with the military, the war. Others say that if it were not for me, war would still be abundant today. However, there has been a person who has said, "It's ok. If you're alright with the way you are now, then it's perfectly fine. Nobody should you judge for that."

And after hearing that, I have no regrets.

There's no way I can return now.

----

"Surround the Clyne mansion as planned. Resume your positions, and wait for the command. Understood?"

"Sir!"

The police had decided to stand by their conclusion that Lacus Clyne killed Meer Campbell. With what little information they had, it seemed to be appropriate to hold Miss Clyne under the watchful eye of the government until the case concerning said victim was solved successfully.

Unbeknownst to them, Lacus Clyne already had other plans, and had fled the country.

"Lacus, the short hair looks different on you."

"That's good. And remember, I'm not Lacus anymore. I'm Rie."

"Yeah. And I'm Souichirou."

"It's important that you don't forget, otherwise we can get involved in… awkward situations."

"I won't… You're too important to lose."

Hearing the last five words, Lacus felt a tinge of disappointment. The way it was expressed left a hint of superiority against her. It stops your heart in its tracks, reflects for what feels like minutes, when in actual reality it's only mere seconds. Like depression. False hope. Hanging by a thread, like a puppet being manipulated to do its master's bidding. Left alone in its own despair to fend for itself.

She was being used.

Yet her soul wouldn't agree to this, and she forced herself to believe in his words as if they had been spoken with true promise.

"Too… important…?"

She responded to his last statement, the trembling in her voice just barely audible. Maybe his words were honest, but it was just that his personality didn't depict it correctly.

"Much too important…" He trailed off. Then, following with a whisper so quiet that it was only heard by himself, "…to be killed at this stage…"

----

She's lying to herself. I can tell.

The way she lingers on my words, reflecting on what it means, is enough proof for me. She doubts me, but she won't allow herself to wander off into that direction. It's too much for her take if she even lets herself consider the possibility of being abandoned. Almost like she's being forced to understand something completely foreign to her. She understands the concept, but she doesn't know what to do with it, so she misleads herself in a false sense of security. She's getting her hopes up high.

She'll only fall harder.

Doesn't she know what she's getting herself into?

It's so hard to climb up that ladder, ladder of whatever it may be, be it trust, hope, power or any other desire or quality.

Why is it so easy to fall back down again?

But when you fall, there's no telling what could happen. You could catch yourself partway down, then continue on from there. You may be sent back to the beginning, and be given a second chance. Then there's the end. When fall too deep, you cannot climb back up.

It is the hell that awaits you, like your death.

----

"She's gone."

Moments before the police were about to commence their operation to restrain Miss Clyne, the headquarters received another phone call concerning the target. Once again, it seemed to be from the young man. Sending a few of their officers to check whether the 'information' was true, the soon found that he had not indeed been lying. Refreshing the memory of one of the officers, he suggested that they check the phone number to see whether it was from the same phone booth as the previous time. Sources informed them that is was a different phone, although, it was in the vicinity. Realising that it would be worthwhile to seek out this mysterious "caller", he planned for some of the crew to keep watch. Finding out the identity of the caller could result in new leads, and possibly more information. The worst possible scenario that they could possibly be at a disadvantage was if it turned out to be an ordinary prankster, according to the chief officer. But things do not always go according to plan…

"Uh… I… I didn't mean to intrude or anything…"

"Oh… it's you. What is it?"

"How long do you think we can stay here…? The… The government is bound to found out that we've fled the country."

"You're hesitating a lot tonight. That's very unlike you."

"…"

"I suspect we'll have to move within the next week or so. We have to go against their wishes."

"I… I see…"

"… Was there something else you came here for…?"

"Hm? Uh, n-no. Sorry. I'll go."

----

I couldn't say it.

Even though I'm constantly thinking about it, the words just won't come out.

But then again, they're not supposed to come out.

It seems that the time for her to begin choosing her fate… has now begun.

She has plenty of time left to change her decision if need be.

Although she is the last surviving person who seems to still care for me, there is an unsatisfied feeling that forms inside me.

It longs for something. A feeling that only she can fulfil. It's so desirable that it's painful to let it go, even though she's so close to me. I can almost taste it.

I want… to…


a/n: Concerning the comment mentioned in the above author'snotes, I am writing to tell you I was just kidding. Although I sort of feel like giving up right now because my sister is whining about feeling sick, and saying that she might feel better if we go on Neopets... I suggest that she just stop curling up into a ball after dinner and sit straight! Not that I do, by the way...

Reviews appreciated, and a thank you to those who reviewed previously.

And my sister is complaining again...

Also, for those of you who have already read this, or not, I had to repost it again because my sister was still whining in the background, and I left something out. But it's exactly the same, except for one word, so yeah.