Eddie felt uncomfortable. He did not know whether she would want him seeing her like this. Yet at the same time, he wanted to do something for her, even if all be could do was ensure she was not alone in the hospital, being cared for strangers, despite how kind they were. "Talk to her," the nurse urged, "she may be able to hear you."
Left alone with her, he suddenly found himself unsure what to say. He had the urge to declare his undying love for her, but also to tell her how angry he was that she had put herself at such risk. She could have died in there! And for what? For Hordley? To save a child would at least have made some sense, but for Hordley? He was not worth it. But he knew it was not the right time to say this.
Despite the strength of his feelings for her, the only topic they had ever really discussed before was work, but would she want to hear about that while she was in a coma? Should she be focusing on work at the moment? He said her name a few times, unsure how to continue. But then he realised . . . work was all she really had. She loved the school and the pupils, of course she would want to hear about it. And so he sat beside her and talked to her about the repairs to the school following the fire. It was only when he made to leave that he realised he was holding her hand.
Rachel had only one focus, and that was heal and get home. She knew her career was over, but she would rebuild, retrain, move away, get back to helping kids in some way. Research perhaps. She had left academia after earning her Masters, keen to get out there and make a difference. Maybe though, now was the right time to pursue her PhD. The drugs in her system prevented her from concentrating properly. She found herself drifting in and out, catching snippets of what he said, but with many gaps. She only hoped that none of the children or staff had been injured in the fire. But the sound of his voice was soothing. His hand felt warm against her own, and she hoped he would never let go. As she felt his lips graze her forehead, she knew this meant he was leaving, and she tried to will him to stay, or at least to return, and only hoped that he would.
The following day, Eddie found himself standing at the door to the ward, counting down the remaining minutes until visiting time began. "I hope I'm doing the right thing," he told the nurse, "I just got a really strong sense that she wanted me to visit again."
"I think she does," said the nurse, "her vitals were much better last night after your visit."
He sat beside her again, taking her hand and talking to her. He told her again that all the children were safe, and this time she heard him and felt her body relax with relief. If she could have cried, she would have.
