"How did you know you wouldn't fall?" asked Rita, eyes wide and fixed on Shane.
Shane thought for a moment, reflecting back on her experience of walking for the first time. "I guess I didn't. It helped that Oliver was waiting, only a few steps away." She smiled tenderly, "I knew that he believed I could do it. And that somehow made it so."
Rita smiled knowingly, "Well, I'm just so happy for you!"
Shane smiled, "Thanks! I have a ways to go before I'm ready to pack my cane away for good, but it's still so exciting." Shane looked down at the baby in her arms."Rita, she looks more like you everyday!"
"Oh, you think so? I see a lot of Norman when she smiles." said Rita, the contentment evident on her face.
"She really is perfect," concluded Shane.
Rita smiled, "I'm so glad you suggested a celebratory lunch for her two month birthday. We both needed some out-of-the-house girl time! I hope Norman is having fun with Oliver."
Oliver and Norman were attending a local museum featuring a new exhibit dedicated to stamp collectors. They were thrilled.
"Of course! I've missed having you at work. Are you ready to start back on Monday?" She could hardly believe it was October already.
Rita looked conflicted. "I have missed it. But I'm going to miss being home with Rose too. I know it's only part time for now and my Dad will take good care of her, but still...sometimes I just wish I had a job where she could come with me everyday!"
Shane nodded sympathetically. Oliver had tried and Andrea had been open to the idea, but it simply went against policy. "Rita, have you and Norman ever considered what you would do if the DLO ever closed, I mean permanently?"
Rita nodded, "Yes! Norman and I have all sorts of dreams and ideas! Of course we would never leave the DLO prematurely, but we've got several back up plans in the works. Why do you ask?"
Shane sighed. She was aware, more than the others, how advances in technology were quickly changing the work of the post office. "I've just been thinking a lot about what Oliver and I would do. But every time I think of alternatives for the future, I can't imagine Oliver not being employed by the post office."
Rita blinked twice, contemplating Shane's statement. "Neither can I."
Shane nodded, "It's not just a job to him…"
"It's a calling." finished Rita. "But it's become that way for all of us. I'm sure he'll find a new calling when it's time, something just as rewarding!"
Shane sighed again, "I keep praying for that."
Rita raised her eyebrows at Shane's reference to prayer, but didn't say anything. She put on a sincere expression, "Everything will work out exactly as it should."
"You're probably right." said Shane, once again appreciative of Rita's optimism. "Rita, do you think Rose would be up for some shopping? I think we both could use some new shoes to celebrate your return to work!"
Rita laughed, "I think she would love that!"
"Great!" replied Shane with laughter as well. "Let's go!"
Shane's alarm began to beep. It was 7:30 on the last Saturday of October. They were meeting their parents for lunch today and they had a few errands to run beforehand.
She could hear Oliver moving around the kitchen. He had already turned up the thermostat for her this morning. There had been a distinct fall chill in the air the past few days, signifying that winter was on the way. She had quickly discovered that the cold made her back and legs ache. Oliver had been making every effort to keep her warm ever since.
Shane sat up and reached for her cane. She had been attempting to walk without it more often, but in the morning her joints were often too stiff. She made it to the bathroom door as the scent of eggs cooking and coffee brewing reached her.
What happened next was a shock to Shane. She stumbled to the toilet as a strong wave of nausea hit and she proceeded to lose the entire contents of her stomach. It was over quickly, but the nausea persisted. She began reviewing what she had eaten the day before, wondering what could have caused such a delayed reaction. While she was wiping her mouth, she caught the scent of eggs cooking once again and began to dry heave once more.
After wiping her mouth, Shane froze as a thought crossed her mind and she stared into the mirror at her own reflection. What was the date today? Was it actually possible? Yes. Her hands shook as she fumbled through the bottom drawer and pulled out a small pink box she'd stashed there, opening it quickly.
A few minutes later Shane stood, bracing her cane and the counter for support, as she stared at the clock on the wall. She'd told herself she wouldn't even glance at it until the full three minutes had passed. This felt like the longest three minutes of her life.
It was finally time. Shane looked down and there were two solid lines staring back at her. She double-checked the instructions as her heart began to pound. Double lines: pregnant.
Shane had several feelings simultaneously flood her mind and heart as tears began to fill her eyes. The shock and disbelief and excitement swirled through her leaving her attempting focused deep breaths. She felt equal parts thrilled and absolutely terrified. She couldn't believe it!
A soft knock at the door made her jump.
"Shane? Breakfast is ready." said Oliver kindly.
Shane did her best to make her voice sound normal. "Uh...yes, be there in a few minutes!" She held her breath as she listened to Oliver's footsteps move away from the door.
Oliver. How would she tell Oliver? Part of her wanted to call him back right away, but she hesitated. She couldn't tell him yet, not until she was sure it wasn't a false positive. And what if...what if it didn't last? She had spent so much time wondering if she could even get pregnant, but what about the risks of not being able to carry a baby full term?
Shane's heart was racing as fear seemed to fill her. She looked around as if searching for some tangible form of reassurance. She saw those two pink lines once again and placed a hand on her stomach. She smiled as she thought of what could be. She then closed her eyes and whispered out loud to herself, "Have faith, Shane. It only takes a little."
Oliver glanced at Shane as his father was telling them about a new home project he was starting. They all chuckled as he made a joke. Shane laughed too, but she looked tired to Oliver. At breakfast she had only eaten half a slice of toast. And here they were at her favorite restaurant and she had hardly touched her food.
"Well, should we order dessert?" asked Heather with a smile.
"Yes," replied Oliver, "Dessert sounds delightful. Wouldn't you agree, Shane?"
Shane vaguely registered her name. She had taken two more pregnancy tests before they left for lunch, just to make sure. Both had been positive. She wanted desperately to share with Oliver, but not now. The timing had to be right, a moment with just them. A small part of her wanted to delay, wanted to spare him the same uncertainty she was feeling.
"Shane?" said Oliver quietly.
"Hmm? Oh, yes! Let's order dessert!" Shane responded, "Sorry, I'm a bit lost in thought today."
Heather had her head tilted slightly to one side and was looking at Shane curiously.
Oliver wanted to ask her what she was lost in thought about, but hesitated to do so in front of the others.
Joe, always seeking to make things comfortable for everyone, filled the awkward pause. "Happens to all of us," he said with a smile and a wink. "Has anyone tried the peach cobbler?"
Shane smiled at Joe appreciatively.
"Oh! I have," said Heather. "It's delicious, especially with ice cream, but I prefer the raspberry cheesecake."
Shane glanced at Oliver as the conversation continued. He met her eyes and smiled. She smiled back. She saw it instantly as his gaze lingered. The concern was apparent in his eyes. She was trying to act normal, but the nausea had persisted and she was finding it nearly impossible to focus on the current conversation.
As lunch ended, they said their goodbyes to Joe and Heather.
"Are you sure you are alright, honey?" Heather whispered in Shane's ear as she gave her a hug.
Shane nodded and smiled. "I am. Promise."
"Well, we'll see you two at bowling then!" said Joe as he and Heather both turned to leave.
Oliver nodded, "Yes, of course."
As Oliver turned to help Shane with her jacket, she had an idea. "Oliver, why don't we take a walk in Washington Park? Looks like it is going to be a lovely afternoon. We may not have many left just like this."
Oliver smiled, but hesitated slightly, "That sounds like a wonderful idea, but are you sure you are up to it? You seem a bit tired." And slightly pale, he thought to himself.
Shane did her best to look convincing. "I'm doing just fine. The fresh air sounds wonderful."
Shane found herself wishing Oliver wasn't quite as perceptive. It was true, however. She was fine, considering the circumstances, and if she didn't get out of this stuffy restaurant and into some fresh air soon, she was going to lose what little she had been able to eat.
Oliver nodded and smiled. "A walk it is then. With the most beautiful woman I've had the privilege of knowing."
Shane blushed as Oliver held out his arm to her.
They walked slowly, Shane hanging onto Oliver for support. It was a perfect fall afternoon. The leaves were colorful, but had only just begun to fall to the ground. The air was cool, but with the bright sunshine overhead, the temperature was perfect.
Shane was lost in thought once again. Their lives were about to change, a new season was beginning. What would it be like? She could not fully imagine, although she tried. She watched a leaf fall gently to the ground. She looked up at the sunshine. With all the change happening below, the sun was a constant through every season. Oliver had become like the sun for her. No matter what they passed through, he was there, helping her feel warmth and light, helping her grow in the best ways. This would be no different. Shane had a small smile on her face as she walked.
"A penny for your thoughts, Mrs. O'Toole." said Oliver, a warm smile on his face as he looked at her.
Shane grinned. Was this it? Was it time?
"Let's rest a bit on this bench." said Shane as she stepped off the path and began to lower herself down.
Oliver watched her carefully. Was she tired already? She had been able to walk three times as far a few days prior. She was quiet, but smiling. He was both concerned and confused. He sighed as he sat down beside her.
"Oliver?" said Shane as she took his hand.
"Yes?" he said, searching her face.
Shane's smile broadened, "I'm so grateful for this life we share together."
Oliver grinned as well and placed his arm around her shoulders, giving them a squeeze. "As am I." Although he felt grateful, it was not a strong enough word to describe his own feelings. He hesitated and then spoke what was on his mind, "You look slightly pale. Are you sure you are well?"
Shane caught a whiff of his cologne and was grateful the smell was still pleasant to her. "I...I have been a bit tired today."
"Is your back hurting again? Should we call Dr. Noom? She said to call if there were any drastic changes and I'm sure she wouldn't mind if…" Oliver spoke quickly until Shane put her hand up to silence him. He stared at her intently, concerned etched on his brow.
"I don't think we need to call Dr. Noom right away, although there have definitely been some changes." Shane took a deep breath, heart beating with excitement and anticipation, "Oliver, we…"
Before Shane could say another word, a bicycle built for two with a baby seat on the back stopped directly in front of them.
"Hello!" exclaimed Rita.
"Nice day for a bike ride, wouldn't you say?" said Norman.
Shane stared for a moment, trying to shift her thoughts from what she was about to say, to Norman and Rita.
"Why hello!" said Oliver, recovering more quickly than Shane.
Shane smiled, "It is a lovely day."
"This was Norman's idea!" said Rita proudly. "Rose's first bike ride!"
Rita glanced back at Rose as Norman hopped off the bicycle to check on their sleeping baby.
"We haven't made it too far. Norman keeps checking on her every hundred yards or so." explained Rita.
"Can't be too careful at this age!" explained Norman confidently.
Rita looked at him lovingly. "We also wanted to show her where we were standing when we knew she was on her way into this world."
"Well, she seems very content." observed Oliver, as they all looked at Rose.
"What are you two up to?" asked Rita.
"Oh, just an afternoon stroll. Enjoying the weather as well." replied Oliver. Shane was still feeling a bit flustered and was glad she did not have to reply herself.
"Great minds think alike," said Norman. "Well, we better continue on our way. We only rented the bike for thirty minutes."
"See you on Monday!" exclaimed Rita as they began to move again. "Enjoy your walk!"
"Thank you!" said Shane, "See you Monday!"
Oliver waved with a smile and a nod to Norman.
"Well, should we continue our…?" started Oliver as he turned to look at Shane. He was startled to see her turned, holding the back of the park bench for support, while losing her lunch next to the tree. "Shane!" he exclaimed as he quickly moved to her side.
Shane was still hunched over and breathing hard. She had caught a whiff of cigarette smoke as someone walked by, just as Norman and Rita had left. She had tried to stop it from happening, but simply could not. Oliver had one arm supporting her around the waist and another holding back her hair.
Once Oliver was sure she was finished, he spoke softly, "Shane, we need to get you to a doctor."
Shane took a deep breath of fresh air and started to stand. "I'm...I'm okay. I think I just need to go home and rest a bit."
Oliver looked at her with the love and concern she'd become accustomed to. "Are you sure?"
Shane did her best to look reassuring as her hands shook slightly and her face remained pale. She leaned on Oliver's arm for support, "Yes, I'm sure."
"Would you like me to get your chair from the car?" he asked, carefully assessing her ability to stand.
"No, I can walk. It's not far." said Shane.
"Perhaps there was something wrong with your lunch? Did it taste off? Is that why you didn't eat much?" asked Oliver.
Shane shook her head, "Lunch was fine. I just haven't had much of an appetite today. I'm sure it will pass."
"Shane, you promise you will see the doctor if it gets worse?" asked Oliver.
Shane looked at him reassuringly once more, "I will. Promise." She squeezed his hand. "Let's go home."
Oliver sat in his chair by the fire, book open in his hand. He had not read a word for some time, however. Shane was asleep on the sofa beside his chair. She had come home, changed into comfy clothes, and fallen asleep before Oliver had finished making her a requested snack. It had been nearly an hour. A long nap was giving him flashbacks to when she was struggling to recover after her accident. It made him uneasy.
Oliver looked at her sleeping, trying to calm his mind with logic. It was probably just a regular stomach bug or perhaps some bad food. She'd be fine in a day or two. The light from the fire danced across Shane's face and a small smile found its way to Oliver's lips. He adored her. She would be alright, he assured himself. He sighed and attempted to focus on his book of poetry once again.
Some time later, Shane's eyes opened slowly. The first thing she saw was Oliver with a book in hand, her snack sitting on the coffee table. He hadn't noticed her wake up and she took this time to contemplate her next course of action. She knew he was worried. She had to tell him about the baby soon and she desperately wanted to, but she also wanted it to be special. The fire crackled and a new idea took hold. She knew exactly what to do.
"Oliver?" she said softly.
Oliver fumbled to set his book down as he stood and moved to sit on the coffee table across from Shane. "How are you feeling? Any better?"
Shane considered and then nodded as she sat up. "Yes, I think so."
Oliver handed her the glass of lemonade she had requested previously. "You fell asleep while I was preparing your food."
Shane remembered lying down on the sofa and listening to Oliver move about the kitchen. Her eyes had become heavy and her thoughts had turned toward the future. She had imagined Oliver, sitting in his favorite chair by the fire, baby on his lap, reading a storybook. Then she'd drifted into a contented sleep. She smiled again, just thinking about it.
"Well, you must be feeling better with a smile like that one," observed Oliver fondly.
"Oliver, could I attend church with you tomorrow?" Shane asked, eyes shining with anticipation.
Oliver looked at her as if she had spoken a foreign language. He had been stunned into momentary silence. Shane kept smiling sweetly at him, awaiting a response.
With hopeful, happy eyes he took her hand in his. "Why, of course you can. You never have to ask." He had done his best not to act too excited, but had failed miserably.
"Great!" said Shane as she laughed at his expression. She leaned in for a kiss and received one. They were both smiling as Oliver took the seat beside her facing the fire.
Oliver was highly distracted as he sat with the choir during the Sunday service. The church was full, but he only noticed his wife sitting in the third pew, off to one side, where he always sat when not with the choir. He kept stealing glances at Shane. Her expression was serious and contemplative as she listened to the minister speak on miracles and how to see them in our lives. It was a good sermon and he was hopeful Shane was finding it valuable to be here.
Oliver was still stunned she was attending church with him. They had walked in holding hands and it had felt so good and right. This was a miracle to him. Shane seemed to be feeling better this morning. She'd had plain toast for breakfast, but also three bowls of fresh pineapple.
"...because miracles are all around us, but we must have eyes to see them. Often they come to us through the kindness and generosity of others.. "
Shane looked at Oliver after that last line was said. He happened to be looking in her direction. She winked and smiled at him as the choir stood to sing the closing hymn. She loved watching him sing.
The congregation slowly exited the chapel, but Shane stayed in her seat. Oliver was visiting with a few people and she didn't mind waiting. It gave her a chance to admire the stained glass windows to her left. They were quite beautiful, especially with the light shining through as it was today.
After several minutes, the chapel was nearly empty. She shifted her gaze to Oliver walking towards her. Her heart began to race.
He sighed as he sat down next to her on the pew. "Mrs. Hanson fell and broke her hip a few days ago. Her house needs a ramp to be more accessible. I volunteered to assist on Thursday evening. I'm wondering if I could get Dad and Bill to help as well. They are the experts, after all."
Shane listened, thinking it was amazing how all of the elderly women in the congregation seemed to know Oliver. They all loved him and had been so kind to Shane when they had both stopped in for visits. His heart was good and he was sincere. He'd be such a wonderful father.
Before she knew what was happening, tears were silently falling down her cheeks. This baby needed to make it here safely.
Oliver stopped talking as he noticed Shane's tears. "Shane, what's wrong?" Oliver asked as he gave her his handkerchief. "Mrs. Hanson will be alright." He tried to think of what else could be bothering her. "Did you not enjoy the service?"
She dabbed her eyes and took a deep breath. "No, I did. It was lovely."
Oliver looked relieved.
"I was just wondering if..if a person can run out of miracles?" asked Shane, looking at Oliver intently.
Oliver took her seriously and looked thoughtful, "Well, I do not believe heaven has a quota for that sort of thing, Shane. That would limit God and I believe He is limitless in what he can and will do in our lives."
Shane nodded a bit, "Good, because I've had quite a few, but I really need one more." She couldn't help the grin that spread across her face, happy tears flowing.
"What do you mean?" asked Oliver, looking confused.
Shane's hand instinctively found its way to her abdomen as she spoke softly. "Well, it's really our baby that needs the miracle."
This was the second time in two days that Shane's words had left Oliver speechless. He blinked several times as his heart began to race. It took nearly an entire minute before he completely registered what she had said.
Oliver searched her face, "Our…? Shane, are you saying that you…? That we…?" He was unable to finish his sentences.
Shane laughed through happy tears, "An O'Toole lost for words. Perhaps Shakespeare could lend a hand?"
A slight grin came to Oliver's face. His eyes glistened as he looked at Shane and took a deep breath, "Silence is the perfectest herald of joy. I were but little happy if I could say how much."
Shane smiled up to her eyes and took his hand as she whispered, "I'm pregnant, Oliver. This is really happening."
Oliver surprised Shane by quickly standing. He took her hands and pulled her up as well and then lifted her off the ground in a huge hug. Shane heard a whispered "Yes!" filled with emotion and when he finally set her down there were tears in his eyes. He touched her cheek, looked into her eyes, and kissed her tenderly.
They sat back down and Oliver took Shane's hand in his. Shane placed her head on his shoulder. Both were silent. Neither wanting to ruin the happy feeling of the moment.
After several minutes, Oliver spoke. "So, your sudden illness was pregnancy related." he concluded, grateful he had read some of Norman's books. "Are you well otherwise?"
"I think so," said Shane. "I mean, I'll need to meet with a doctor soon. It's still very early." Her smile slowly disappeared as worry took its place.
"What is it Shane?" Right after he asked, Oliver understood. She said she needed one more miracle. She needed their baby to make it, to beat the odds stacked against him. Their baby. Oliver still could hardly believe it. He placed his hand gently on her stomach and prayed for the right words to say.
Shane placed her hand over Oliver's and spoke first, voice unsteady, "What if my body isn't strong enough to do this?" She searched his face, as if searching for something she desperately needed.
Oliver looked at her tenderly, "I can't promise everything will be alright, Shane. But the fact that there is new life growing inside you, life that we created together." Oliver paused and swallowed, "That is a miracle. One I am profoundly grateful for. No matter what happens next, I promise we will walk the road together."
Shane nodded, allowing Oliver's words to strengthen her own faith.
Oliver placed his arm around her shoulders. He whispered in her ear, "You are amazing, sweetheart. The bravest person I know. You are going to be an incredible mother."
Shane had been so busy imagining Oliver as a father, she had hardly let it sink in for herself. She laughed out loud, causing Oliver to pull back to look at her face with raised eyebrows.
"I'm going to be a mom!" she exclaimed, "I can hardly believe it!"
Oliver grinned, "I love you, Shane."
Shane smiled, "I love you too. Always."
They sat there for some time afterwards, mostly silently, with a few brief whispered conversations. The happiness was so evident, Shane felt like she could almost reach out and touch it. Life was good, better than she could ever have imagined, and she was grateful.
Suddenly Shane blurted, "Oh no, Oliver, how are we ever going to choose a name?"
"What do you mean?" asked Oliver.
"Well, something tells me it may be a little bit like you and I trying to choose paint colors or movies or decorative pillows." explained Shane.
Oliver chuckled, "I see your concern. But I'm sure there is at least one name in which we will both agree. I only ask that we avoid any creative spellings."
Shane laughed as well, "I choose it, you spell it. Sounds like a plan."
Oliver laughed and shook his head. "Well, should we go home?"
"Yes, home sounds wonderful," said Shane. "I could really go for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."
Oliver paused after standing and looked at her curiously, "I don't believe I've ever seen you eat one of those."
"Really? I ate them every Thursday in my sack lunch as a kid. It just sounds good, doesn't it?" said Shane, shrugging her shoulders.
Oliver chuckled, the next nine months were bound to be very interesting.
