Spoilers:  After cattle incident and snippets of future episodes

Disclaimer:  Wow Chapter 35 and I still own none of these wonderful characters.  I really have to speak to Nickelodeon about that.  But not to worry I am not claiming any of them….just yet! :oP

Pairings:  Caitlin and Eric….eventually

** I just want to say thanks to ShadowGoddess, Miss Chievous, Katelin, sommer, BananaBelle, and Christine.  This chapter is dedicated to you! ;o) **

Chapter Thirty Five

Eric averted his gaze from Caitlin's scrutinizing eyes.  "Uh," he laughed nervously, "what do you mean?"

"I just want to know what I mean to you?" Caitlin sighed, frustratingly.

This was an unexpected question.  How was he supposed to deal with it?  Eric began kicking a few invisible blades of grass.  "You're my friend," Eric said slowly.  He wasn't sure where this conversation had gone awry.  They were having a nice time and then bam.  'What am I to you?'  Eric shook his head in confusion.  Where had this conversation gone wrong?

"Just a friend?" Caitlin drawled, as if expecting something more to be said.

Eric looked up at her.  "What else is there?"  He was playing it dumb, always the best option.  It had gotten him out of many an uncomfortable jam.

Caitlin's eyes seemed to cloud over, and darken from their usual bright fiery gleam.  She bit her lip and folded her arms across her chest.  "You never ever thought of anything more?" she asked, scuffing her riding boots in the dry dusty dirt.

Eric furrowed his brow.  He was confused.  Did she want something more?  A lump developed in his throat, and his heart began to race.  All of the sudden his palms became sweaty and he could hear the blood rushing in his ears.  "Why have you?" he asked, deflecting the question.

Caitlin didn't look up.  There was an awkward silence.  Eric's mind raced with a million thoughts.  Should he change the subject?  Should he answer the question?  Should he tell her how much he liked her, but doubted the realism in dating when they were leaving High River in a couple of months?  All these questions filled his mind, but Eric found himself asking aloud, "Are we crazy?"

Caitlin had looked up at his untimely question.  "What?"

Eric swallowed the lump in his throat and laughed uneasily.  "Are we crazy to think that we would make a good couple?" he asked.  "I mean we would kill each other!"

Caitlin seemed taken aback at his response.  A disappointed look crossed her face before she began to slowly nod.  "Yeah," she agreed.  "You're right.  I don't know why I thought about it."  Caitlin laughed half-heartedly.  "It was stupid."

Eric felt guilty.  He had made Caitlin feel humiliated, asking a question that he had thought about so many times before.  "No," he protested.  "I think it's a question that needed to get out in the open."  Eric walked over to her.  "We've kissed a couple of times and it would be stupid if you and I didn't think about it," he said softly.  He was only a few inches away, and could see into her dark brown eyes.  "I've totally thought about it."

Caitlin looked up into his eyes and arched one eyebrow.  "Are you just trying to make me feel like less of a dork for asking?" she said dryly.

Eric shook his head.  "No."  And being so close to her, Eric thought he must have let his emotions take over and he said in all honesty, "I have totally thought about you in that way."

***

Caitlin didn't know what to think.  At first she thought he was just embarrassed, and he didn't want to admit that he wanted to be with her.  But now, it seemed like Eric truly believed it would be better if they never became something more.  His admission that he had thought about asking her out didn't soothe the churning feeling in her stomach.  "Really?" she asked doubtfully.

Eric nodded.  "Totally honest?" he said nervously.

Caitlin nodded.  She wanted the honest truth.  No matter if it hurt or not.

Eric looked hesitantly at Caitlin before taking a deep breath before explaining his thoughts.  "I don't think I've stopped thinking about you since we came to some sort of 'understanding' before I left for Colorado.  I missed talking with you and well, fighting with you."  He laughed at the thought, and Caitlin joined him.

"Yeah, I missed our 'fights' too."

"Well," Eric sighed, sticking his hands in the back pockets of his jeans.  "When I came back you were dating Will."  He paused, grabbing a blade of grass to chew on.  "You know I couldn't stand him before I left?"  Caitlin nodded.  "Well I hated him even more when I came back."

"I didn't get why you were even dating the guy."  He rolled his eyes and smirked.  "I still don't."

Caitlin felt the blood rush to her face, and her heart skipped a beat as Eric admitted his jealousy over Will.  "He was nice…" she laughed.  "Until you came back and kissed me."  Eric licked his lips and ran his fingers through his tousled blonde hair.  She loved his curly locks, especially when it was long and shaggy and in need of a trim.  It shone is the light of the setting sun.

"Well, yeah," he stammered.  "That's your opinion.  I always thought he had a swelled head."

Caitlin rolled his eyes.  They weren't going to see eye to eye on the subject.  She knew Will had a different side to him, or else she wouldn't have liked him.  "Keep going…not about Will," she teased.  "About why you came to your 'conclusion'."  She stared at him intently, waiting for some kind of revelation.

"While I think you're amazing," Eric admitted, his face flushed.  "I came to the conclusion that it just 'wouldn't work.'"

Caitlin raised her eyebrows in disbelief.  "That's all you came up with?  'It just wouldn't work'?"  She was waiting for some admission of fear or maybe that he wasn't compatible with her or that he didn't think of her in that way.  All of which she had a specific reply.  She would roll her eyes and tell him that he was stupid.  But this, this she wasn't expecting.  It wasn't even an excuse.  All of the sudden Caitlin burst out laughing.

Eric frowned. "What?" he exclaimed.  "What's so darn funny?"

Caitlin wiped the tears from her eyes and shook her head.  "That was the lamest excuse I've heard in my life," she stated, laughing in between gasps of breath.  "I was expecting some elaborate speech, but then you came up with that doozy."

Eric narrowed his eyes.  "It's the truth," he declared grumpily.  "It wouldn't work."

Caitlin finally managed to catch her breath and walked over to Eric.  "Why not?" She was tired of this dance.  They would either decide to remain friends and that was the end of that - no more stolen kisses or uncertain feelings – or there would be the start of something neither of them had expected.

"Haven't I told you that long distance relationships never work?" Eric answered, flustered.

Caitlin nodded.  "But that doesn't have to be us," she protested.  "We could be that one out of a hundred couples that don't break up because of the long distance thing."

Eric stared at her skeptically.  "Are you kidding me?" he asked incredulously.  "I'll probably end up with some long detached letter from the big city that explains how we've grown apart and that it just 'isn't working', and that you found some artsy fartsy guy you like better."

Caitlin moved in a little closer, entwining her hands in his.  "Or, maybe I'll write you some sweet letter telling you how much I miss you and wish that you were with me?" she said huskily.  Eric seemed to search her eyes for some kind of hint of hesitation.  There wasn't any.  Caitlin liked Eric, more than any guy she had known.  She could really picture him in her life for the rest of her life.  

Of course she wasn't in love with the guy, but she didn't think that there were any hidden surprises that would make her hate him, or at least, none that she didn't know about.  Caitlin felt her heart racing and it felt like it would jump out her chest.  "When did you become such a pessimist?" she teased.

Eric shrugged.  "I don't know," he laughed, his eyes not leaving hers.  "So you would really write me 'love' letters like that, huh?"  The corners of his lips curled into a mischievous smirk.

Caitlin rolled her eyes.  "I don't know," she chuckled.  "Depends if I really liked you or not."  It felt so weird to talk like they were already dating.  They'd never openly flirted with one another like this before.  She felt his hands, which remained entwined with hers, draw her closer to his body.  It felt so deliberate and unusual, but nice.

Eric leaned forward and his lips lightly grazed hers.  Caitlin pulled away slightly, somewhat scared all of the sudden.  Eric squeezed her hand gently, holding her so she couldn't run away.  When she felt the warm breath on her lips, her heart was pounding and she lost all consciousness of where she was.  Caitlin closed her eyes and leaned forward and pressed her lips tentatively against his.

This was something more than just an unknown kiss, without any meaning behind it.  They had both come into this kiss thinking something more.  And now Caitlin understood what it meant to be really afraid.  If this went deeper than just a sweet kiss, and she allowed herself to fall for him, something that wasn't hard to do, Caitlin was vulnerable to the heartache of Eric's pessimistic reality.  But instead of her breaking his heart, it could be Eric breaking hers.

*********

**Sorry it's so short, but I thought you guys would forgive me, even so. ;o)  I hope you guys like it.  They finally seem to be getting somewhere, eh?**