Spoilers: After cattle incident and snippets of S2 episodes
Disclaimer: *grumblesyesNickoledonownsthemsoIhavenopartinthecreationoranythingelsegrumbles*
Pairings: Caitlin and Eric
Summary: Eric has arrived back in town and put a wrench in Caitlin and Will's relationship. Caitlin and Eric find themselves drawn to each other and having to deal with the emotions that were left unresolved when he moved away. They must deal with the future and whether they will remain in each other's lives, or will college and other things get in the way?
Author's notes: I finally have another chapter...I bet you guys never thought I'd get to it. Did you? Did you? Huh huh huh huh huh?....Okay that's kind of annoying. lol.
Well this chapter is dedicated to all those Caitlin's Way fans that have stuck through this with me for wow, 38 chapters! I am glad I have you to keep pushing me and nagging me and keep me motivated. ShadowGoddess and Pixie I would like to say that you have stuck with me on this fro the beginning and it couldn't be done without you guys.
Chapter Thirty Eight
"So I guess this is goodbye." Eric stared uncomfortably at the rag-tag runners that he'd only had for a year, as he shifted his weight to and for, from side to side. He didn't think he could even look at Caitlin for fear of breaking down, which he obviously couldn't do when everyone was around. "I hope you have a safe trip," he added, lifting his arm up half-heartedly, pointing out and beyond the deserted gravel road and then letting it drop.
"You know this isn't goodbye," Caitlin protested gently. "We're going to talk over the phone, ringing up an insanely large phone bill over the next year." She cleared her throat, trying to rid herself of the lump in her throat that felt like it was choking her. Caitlin knew her eyes were close to tearing up at the thought of not seeing Griffin or Eric for an entire school year. It was a toss-up whether not having them around to drive her crazy or the move itself would, without their antics keeping her distracted.
Eric gazed up at her under hooded lids, not bothering to lift his head up from its bowed position. "Yeah," he said half-heartedly. "Of course." He nodded distractedly.
Caitlin ran her tongue over her teeth absentmindedly, searching for traces of lunch hidden in between the crevices of her teeth; she wanted him to look at her. "Well," she glanced behind her as Dori was tearfully kissing Griffin goodbye and making sure he knew exactly what he should or should not do when away from home, "I'm supposed to get to the airport 2 hours early, so I'd better get going." Slowly hedging away from the unusually silent blonde, Caitlin felt a sense of loss, like she was leaving a part of her and she felt incomplete; she had felt the pangs of that early in the evening of the wrap party a couple of days ago. In fact, it was right at that moment when she realized that Eric had begun his withdrawal from her that night.
"Wait," Eric whispered softly, unsure he was capable to form any words at that moment. He quickly reached out and grasped Caitlin's wrist as she had begun to leave. "I…Caitlin…" Silently he cursed himself for being such an inept fool, who couldn't even voice his feelings for Caitlin as she was about to leave.
Unexpectedly, he felt her slender hand press against his cheek and her forehead lean against his. "You know all throughout high school I dreamt of getting out of here and pursuing my dream of being a photographer, but right now, I can't think of another place I want to stay in, more," she chuckled distractedly. Eric felt his heart begin to race, and he closed his eyes and silently agreed with everything she had said. She was always better with words than he was.
"Caitlin, we've got to get going or we'll have to wait in line forever!" Dori's voice cut through the comforting silence that had fallen between them, as if physically pulling them apart.
Eric was the first to lift his head up to see Dori, Jim, Griffin and his parents trying to look inconspicuous as they gazed upon his and Caitlin's goodbye. "You had better get going," he sighed loudly, rubbing the back of his neck, in an attempt to appear undaunted at Caitlin's departure.
"Email me when you get your address and phone number." Caitlin slipped her arm through the crook of Eric's arm, as he slowly escorted her to Dori's truck. "And I'll do the same," she instructed, trying to sound excited.
Eric nodded. "Yeah, all right." Only he'd be in some dorm with hundreds of people milling around and like one payphone in the hallway. As he watched Caitlin grab her backpack which was sitting on the grass beside the truck, Eric felt his chest tighten and his skin heat up, as perspiration began to form on his forehead and palms. Stuffing his hands in his jean pockets, Eric pushed the need to pull Caitlin in his arms and tell her not to go.
Caitlin gave Griffin and Jim a hug, saying an awkward goodbye to Eric's parents, as they wished her well. Both Griffin and Eric would be leaving early in the morning the next day. "Well take care of yourself," Jim lectured. "Don't stay up too late and don't talk to complete strangers."
Caitlin tried to keep a straight face at Jim's thoughtful rules for life in the big city. "Well that would pretty much conclude my year at NYU," she teased, poking her adopted father in the side.
"You know what I mean," he groaned, slipping an arm around her shoulder.
"Well Caitlin shouldn't have a hard time fitting in there if she packed her old clothes." Griffin grinned mischievously at her. "That leather jacket and outstanding hairdo would keep anyone at bay," he said sarcastically.
Caitlin stepped forward, in a threatening gesture, as if she were preparing to slap him silly; Griffin shrunk from the assault, but there was no physical contact. "Shut up," Caitlin ordered. The gleam in Griffin's eye alerted her to the fact that he knew she was not insulted. "And I'm sure all the women will be clamouring over you and your wonderful button up shirts."
"Ha. Ha." Griffin folded his arms across his chest, feigning dismay.
Caitlin bit the inside of her cheek, once again feeling a welling up of emotions at this light-hearted goodbye. She glanced over at Dori, who was already in the driver's seat. "I better get going." It was weird, she didn't know how to say goodbye to Griff. The words wouldn't form.
"Bye." Griffin quickly slipped his arms around her and gave her a squeeze and backing away just as quickly.
Eric wasn't sure he could hold himself together at this point. He knew that Griffin was having a hard time believing that she was leaving. After years of bemoaning the fact that the defensive and sometimes irritable redhead was a pain in the derriere, Eric could see that Griffin was in denial of his more-than-upset state about her departure. Everyone had said their goodbyes and his parents, Jim and Griffin became distracted by some details of their departure the next day, while he watched Caitlin walk out of his life...for the time being anyway.
Caitlin felt someone pull her backpack off her shoulders and heard a thud as she was spun around by a hand that had grasped her wrist. "Caitlin, wait." Her eyes locked gazes with Eric's. He seemed flustered and upset.
"What?" she whispered, but before she got anything else out, his lips captured hers.
Eric closed his eyes and pressed his lips against hers, halting the words that were just forming on her kissable lips. He felt her body tense as he grabbed her, surprised at his impulsive act. Tilting his head slightly, Eric pulled back slightly, lessening the pressure of his kiss and let go of her wrist. Eric slid his left hand around her waist until it rested lightly against the small of her back; with the other hand, he cupped her face, pulling her into the kiss.
Caitlin swallowed hard as she felt his desperate kiss transition into one that was filled with need and desire. Her arms, which hung limply by her side moved of their own accord as she stepped in closer, slipping one arm around his waist and rested the other against his chest, which rose and fell at a rapid pace. She could feel him pull back and as she opened her eyes, quite stunned by the silent gesture, Caitlin stared into the anxious and clouded blue eyes of her former verbal sparring partner.
"Don't go," Eric whispered urgently. His plea was unconscious, really just rambling, in an attempt to express the ache that wracked his entirety. "I..."
Caitlin blinked several times, her heart understanding what he was asking of her and even contemplating the possibility of acquiescing; but another part of her questioned whether this truly was what he wanted. "Eric," she breathed, her heart pounding at the idea of what this meant. She paused a moment, searching the deep pools of conflicted emotion and uncertainty. "A-are you...are you serious?"
Eric furrowed his brow, his mind registering what just had happened. He looked up to see Caitlin's expectant face, carrying an amount of fear and anxiety. Swallowing hard, Eric tilted his head and bit his bottom lip, trying to recall what he had just said to her. Don't go...
Eric closed his eyes and kicked himself for allowing something like that to slip past his lips. He shook his head and laughed half-heartedly. "No," he replied, taking a step back and letting his arms drop to its side. "I...that...I was just being stupid. Of course not." He looked away shame-faced.
Caitlin gazed uncertainly at Eric's sudden change of heart. Part of her was relieved, but somewhere deep down she was secretly excited that he felt so lost without her. But now he was backing away and backtracking on everything. "Right," Caitlin chirped, trying to act casual about the whole thing. "You...we were just caught up in the moment."
Eric felt like a heel for doing that to her; he could see in her eyes that he had hurt her. Loser. Staring uncomfortably down at the ground, he picked up Caitlin's backpack, which he had dropped at his feet and handed it to her. "Have a safe trip," he said, offering her stolen bag. "I know you'll do great out there." He glanced back to see if the bystanders had witnessed their public display of affection. He shoved his hands into his back pockets.
"Right." Caitlin's voice was barely above a whisper. She slung her bag over her shoulder and took a few steps back. "Well then...I better go now." Caitlin didn't want to sound bitter or angry; leaving Eric like this was not in the plan. She hated it. She wanted him to reach out and stop her and tell her that he loved her and that he would call her every day. Instead she turned on her heel, leaving Eric standing there, gazing somewhat forlorn.
A tear trickled down her cheek as she opened the door to the waiting vehicle and hopped in. From the side view mirrors she could see Eric still standing there, staring after her with a look of regret or anger. She wasn't quite sure.
"Huh?" Caitlin shook her head, as she realized Dori was staring at her, waiting for an answer to a question . "What did you say?"
Dori's calm, serene face smiled softly and she placed a hand on Caitlin's knee. "Are you ready to go?"
Caitlin swallowed hard and out of the corner of her eye, could see Eric turn on his heel and head towards the rest of the family and friends. She swallowed hard, quickly wiping away the rogue tear that slid down her cheek. "No," she said, shaking her head and plastering a smile on her face. "Let's go."
***tbc***
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