"So why ever did you have your hair cut?"
Algernon curiously questioned as he gently brought a wine glass to his mouth.
"I didn't have it cut, I cut it myself.
It was getting a little too long to be honest and I was tired of taking care of it all.
So I chopped it off".
"That's not being honest.
You mentioned that it was a symbol of your grief.
If that's the case what's the black lipstick for, your depression?"
"Black is a always a symbol of death.
The blue eye shadow represents my depression.
I'll have you know that my lipstick isn't black it's dark purple.
Purple is a symbol of royalty and the fact that it's dark means I was royalty that was put into exile".
"Temporarily of course".
"There is nothing temporary about my exile Algernon.
This exile will last an entire eternity.
As of now I am no longer royalty.
My title has been stripped away from me, along with my money and my home and I might as well be a servant at my uncle's home.
Maybe Knightdale's needs a maid.
I'll have to ask my uncle when I get home."
"Nonsense.
I am the one that is need of a maid, your uncle on the other hand does not.
He refuses to hire one because he has me and I do the all work that a maid should be doing.
I'm sure if you offer your services to him he's going to flat out refuse anyway.
He would never hear of his own niece serving as a staff member in his own home.
You're far too important to him and the Knightdale household.
I wish I had that romantic take on life where I was a Prince of some obscure country but I was forced to flee my country and I decided to disguise myself as a lowly British Butler.
I have the privilege to come from a long line of servants.
My father was a butler and so was my grandfather before him.
All my family have dedicated their lives to the serving of the rich.
Oh it's so noble people would tell me, such rich and noble history, a noble heritage if you will.
There's nothing noble about cleaning 6 bathrooms, washing out nearly 15 years worth of ketchup stains, rubbing your hands raw from using one Brillo pad too many and having your hair thin so slowly everyone just assumes you've been getting it trimmed for nearly half a decade."
"Well if it makes you feel better I always thought you were noble.
I often imagined that you were a exiled duke or perhaps a count of some sort.
I wouldn't mind helping you out with a few Brillo pads now and again.
I once helped you wax the floor one time.
I mean I'd be more than happy to give you hand anytime".
"Yes you could but you saw how well that worked out the last time.
Your uncle nearly gave himself a hemorrhage and he nearly gave me a broken eardrum.
I'd rather not have a repeat of that day if you don't mind".
"Oh no we wouldn't have a repeat.
You see I have a plan this time.
I'll approach Uncle Stephen myself. I'll give him one of those poor princess looks and I'll say how worried I am about you.
Oh yes dear uncle of mine ,I'm afraid Algernon may be a bit too overworked.
I have Just the solution for that.
I was just thinking that I could give him a hand every once and while, you know lighten the load.
He's not getting any younger as you know and I've noticed his hair has been thinning, very gradually but it's the stress you see that's doing it.
I'd hate to see Algernon get burnt out especially so close to his retirement years.
I think we ought to give him a break, give him some slack and I don't know give him a bonus for all his trouble.
Trust me it will work".
"Well of course I trust you and it certainly is a very elaborate plan but if you really think it will work, why not give it go.
The worse thing he can do is say no right".
Algernon had a amused expression that appeared slightly doubtful.
"You're very sweet.
I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have an extra hand but I don't want to put you out, gross you or burn you out".
"I'm young, I'm strong and I'm healthy.
Plus I'm very resilient.
I mean a few toilet seats and rough Brillo isn't going to scare me off.
I used to watch you work all the time.
How hard can it be?"
"Oh when you're through helping me for a day, trust me Brillo pads and toilet seats are I going to be the least of your problems".
"I look forward to the challenge".
"Very well... you're on."
The rest of the evening was spent finishing off a bottle of red wine which seemed to effect Noel more than it effected Algernon.
Infact Algee had to steady her as she left the restaurant.
Algernon rarely was ever tipsy so he was hardly from intoxicated when he drove her home.
He held the door open for her and steadied her all the way back into Knightdale's home.
They took the servants entrance so as not to attract the attention of the rest of the household.
"You know I'd like to be the first one say...that was...rather nice".
Noel was still holding onto Algernon at this point but she eventually stumbled over to the couch in the drawing room.
"Yes it was rather nice."
"I hope you don't think me too unconventional but I hope you wouldn't mind...doing this again sometime.
I mean...I wouldn't mind because I had a splendid time but you know you...you might have other plans."
"No I don't have any plans at least not on the weekends.
You know it's come to my attention that you don't have a proper chaperone.
I know you like exploring New York so perhaps I could serve as a sort of chaperone for you whenever you're out and about outside the Hamptons.
It's just not right for you to be alone out there in the big city.
Too many variables and far too many possibilities.
Plus it would put my mind at ease to know that you are safe.
So perhaps you could refrain from your nightly outings until the weekends that way I could be your escort for you then.
At least for the ones in New York".
"It seems like a fair trade since I'll be working under you and all."
"Oh yes it's more than a fair trade, it's practically a bargain.
I'll get you as a maid and you'll have me as a chaperone."
"You know you're so...funny.
You always, always knew how to get me to laugh.
I didn't laugh much before I came here but I saw your face and I'd laugh and laugh.
Not that you're funny looking or anything.
You'd just say one word and I'd be in hysterics.
You still have that effect on me."
"I'm so glad.
At least I haven't lost my touch.
You my dear girl need to get to bed.
It's late, you're drunk and if I keep you up any later you may wake up the whole household.
I suppose you can manage on your own to take yourself upstairs".
"Not unless you want to carry me".
"No I'll save that for you when I get too old to work here."
"Oh I'll take care of you in your old age don't worry.
I'll take you to all the Hampton clubs myself so and you'll feel useful when I go out."
"Oh that's mighty wight of you. Now head up to bed before your uncle storms in with his plaid pajamas."
"You know I love you".
"Yes the feeling is mutual.
Now go upstairs".
Noel had sobered up just enough to make her way to her room.
she collapsed onto her bed and didn't awaken until 12 in the afternoon.
