Author's note: Sorry to keep you guys hanging for three days. The holidays were very busy for me. Okay, so these next two chapters are going to transpire before the backpacking and SME stuff later. It was going to happen after, but I decided that by doing it this way, it would cause so much more drama later. And I love levels of intensity. It sets the characters on fire. Therefore, I will remark that this chapter could be considered rated a little M although I tried to keep it toned down enough to keep it at T. Just in case, I stepped over the boundaries any, which I don't think I did, be forewarned. And please please please R&R. And if time allows today and I get lots of reviews, I plan to try and Post more later today. Lots of smiles to you guys. P.S. Who didn't get hot just watching Instant Star Friday. Oh, I loved it!--Angel
We arrived at the hotel shortly and while the other three in the car discussed getting pizza together I just sat there quietly.
"I am such a loser." I kept telling myself over and over again as I exited the vehicle and watched as the rest of the group followed closely behind. Why? Because I was about to actually give up personal time with Tom 'the man' Quincy. That's why.
"I'm going to have to beg off on the dinner guys. I think I just want to let mom know I'm okay and, you know, go rest and all. Whatever." I replied on a shrug as Patsy quirked an eyebrow and Tommy and Kwest just stared blankly. Finally they shrugged too.
"Yeah, okay." Kwest said carefully as I wrapped my arms around myself and walked past them slowly, heading for the door while submerged deep in thought. My chest hurt and all I wanted to do was go up to my room, take a pain pill, and sleep off the discomfort. Or so I thought. Passing by SME on the stairs, Spied came to a halt and grabbed my arm playfully.
"Yo, Jude. Heard about you and Patsy. Sweet!" He said teasingly as I arched an eyebrow and chuckled softly.
"It's already out in the news? Wow, and I thought America had a fast traveling band wagon." I said in awe as I noticed Kyle and Wally looking at me almost if I were a god.
"You want to worship someone for our majorly cool adventure, then go find Patsy. She was the culprit. I just sort of became the accomplice. " I said on a chuckle before turning to make my way back up the stairs. Sadie was at the top staring down at Tommy languidly and I tapped her shoulder in order to get her attention. Watching her smile softly at me, I hugged her before breaking away to continue onto my room. I knew how she felt. I was finding it harder and harder to be alone with Tommy in a room without wanting to walk over to him and literally walk into him. I wanted to feel connected enough to him to be able to pretend that we were one person instead of two. Lately, that depressed me because I was more and more frustrated by the little moments we had that always ended as if they never happened. I was glad to be out of the hospital, but I needed to be alone. It wasn't until after I walked into the dim interior of my hotel room that it hit me. Before I knew it, I was reliving the kidnapping all over again and all I wanted to do was curl up on the bed and place my hands over my head as if protecting myself from some invisible villain. Why hadn't they given me another room? Why couldn't I let it go? And most of all, why couldn't I let him go? It was as if he invaded every pore of my body. My skin drank him in as if he was the sun, and I found that I was alarmed by that. I no longer had the will to turn him away. Hell, I no longer wanted to. Grabbing a bottle of water, I downed something for the pain in my ribs before lying on the bed with all the lights in the room glaring as I finally let my eyelids droop until blackness engulfed me.
I woke up in alarm a couple of hours later knowing deep down that something was wrong—terribly wrong. Rain beat against the window outside the hotel and lightning flashed occasionally, highlighting objects in the darkened room as it did. My heart raced as I looked frantically for a light switch, throwing it upward as I finally found where it was, but when nothing happened I practically cried in terror. No! Curling myself up into a ball near the hotel room door, I realized rather belatedly that the storm must have knocked out the hotel's electricity. Closing my eyes tightly against the darkness, I kept telling myself over and over again that this was just a very bad dream and that I would wake up soon as a noise from behind me caused my heart to literally stop beating.
"Jude?" I heard someone whisper and my body wilted in stunning relief as I recognized Tommy's concerned voice. Frantically, pulling open my hotel room door, I practically threw myself into his arms when his figure appeared in the doorway holding a flashlight. His hand ran soothingly up and down my back in comforting circles as he literally pushed me into the room, closing the door behind us before picking me up and carrying me over to the bed.
"Shhhhhh, Jude. It's just a power outage. When I woke up and realized there was no electricity, I figured you would need some company. Are you alright?" He asked quietly as I sobbed into the skin of his neck, breathing in his scent allowing it to calm my frazzled nerves.
"I am now." I replied shakily as his grip tightened perceptibly. I felt him pull away for a moment in order to shine the flashlight around the room until he spotted a few candles decorating the dresser. Setting me aside reassuringly, he stood up to light them before turning back to me with a look that suggested he was considering going back to his own room for the night.
"Don't you dare leave me, Tom Quincy." I whispered frantically as he smiled softly and fell back casually onto the bed.
"I won't. You have my word on it." He said in a low tone before pulling me against him and shoving the comforter on the bed down under our feet so that he could pull it over the two of us. I reveled in his warmth as the darkness made me shiver in fear, and my body temperature rose as his hand splayed gently against my bare belly where my shirt had ridden up when we had slid onto the bed. Turning over to face him, I saw his eyes darken considerably as I let my gaze fall onto his torso when I noticed for the first time that the button up shirt he wore was gaping open in the front baring his beautiful chest for the whole world to see. I couldn't help it, I laid my hand shakily against his ribs where I knew his heart was, and I could see him visibly gulp as I pressed there gently.
"Jude…" He murmured warningly as his hand came crashing down onto mine crushing it against his chest desperately as if he were fighting a persistent demon inside his own body. At that moment, as I let my gaze land unflinchingly upon his, something clicked in my mind. The two of us had surpassed that brick wall of indecision a long time ago and moved straight into something more terrifying—submission. I closed my eyes to keep myself from leaning forward to possess his mouth with mine for I was selfish enough to want more than just that. I knew, wanted, and needed for the next step to be his to make so that I would know that he was as emotionally involved as I was. I could feel him shift uneasily before his hand gripped mine with firm resolve and his lips made sudden contact with my forehead. I let my eyes fall open slowly to find his gaze burning into mine as if marking a path for himself before tracing a trail of scorching kisses from my eyelids to my lips, softly possessing every inch of my face. And I didn't fight him. I didn't want to. I could feel his hands beneath my shirt tracing the line of my ribs lovingly as if memorizing every bump and ridge, and I pressed against him reveling in his touch as I felt the fabric of my shirt being bunched between his fingers in order to be lifted up over my head. And when cold air brushed against my skin, I shivered in anticipation. Tommy paused when he felt me tremble, lifting my chin up with his fingers so that his dark gaze stared imploringly into my own.
"Are you sure about this Jude?" He asked softly, his face filled with restraint, although his voice quivered enough that I could tell he was fighting not to reveal how much he didn't want me to say 'no.' I smiled at him then softly, glancing down at my bra clad chest, slightly uncovered bare leg, and Tommy's parted white shirt before staring once again into his eyes while shrugging in surrender.
"I love you Tommy." I whispered as I watched in fascination the flames that flitted across his face as the fires of passion ignited, and I knew then it was too late to turn back. He rolled me over gently and I drank in the wonderful sensation of feeling his skin make contact with mine. Stopping only once, he traced a finger down my cheek as I stared at him, not so much nervously, as uncertain.
"I don't know what I'm doing?" I admitted quietly. I watched Tommy's mouth quirk upward in the corner as one hand intertwined delicately with the fingers of one of mine.
"You don't need to Jude. It's something we learn to do together." He answered with a small smile as my eyes widened slightly in surprise.
"But you've done this before…" I stammered quickly stopping as Tommy placed a firm finger against my lips running it slightly over and over across the soft flesh.
"No, Jude. I've had sex, but I've never made love." He said with finality and I felt my heart melt as the realization of what he had just said spread throughout my limbs languidly. Running a foot up the back of his calf, I laughed as I watched his eyes darken once again.
"How about you teach me about the sex part then, and I'll teach you about love." I remarked on a sigh as Tommy's grip on my body tightened. The next thing I knew we exploded. It was like a train wreck waiting to happen—a house going up in flames.
