Disclaimer: I do not and will never own Harry Potter or Express Yourself

Chapter 8: Dust, Dishes, and Dreadful Singing

Narcissa and Draco were busy cleaning out a cabinet in the dining room (the house had only recently been occupied, and other strange objects were being found in various places).

Draco had found a strange book that screamed if opened.

Narcissa had been bitten by another spider and was being treated by Mrs. Weasley. She was not very happy and decided to leave the cleaning to Draco and Parvati. After all, they were younger. Narcissa was older now and needed her rest, right?

Parvati found the vacuum cleaner—it was a different type of vacuum, as it did not run off electricity and spat out dust in the trash when full.

Unfortunately, the vacuum was about fifty years old, and did not work as well as it used to. So when it was full (which didn't take much more dust and dirt, as it had been nearly full as of ten years previously), it burst and spewed ten years' worth of dust all over the drawing room and—Parvati.

Parvati screamed. Harry rushed in. "What?"

Then he laughed to see the usually so sophisticated Parvati Patil covered in dust, dirt, and God knows what. Parvati growled at him and flung a handful of dust at his face.

Unfortunately, Draco was entering the room at the moment and Harry ducked. Dust spattered Draco's chest. "ARGH! MY FAVORITE SHIRT!"

He picked up a handful and flung it at Parvati. It hit her arm. Parvati hit Draco again. Draco thought it was Harry who flung the dust ball, and tried to hit him on his forehead.

Hermione was coming in to see what the noise was and received a face full of dirt.

She picked up some to fling at Draco. At the moment, Narcissa was coming down to investigate the source of noise. As she opened her mouth to object, Hermione's dust ball was thrown…right into Narcissa's mouth.

Narcissa gasped and choked. Then she spat out the nasty, grey mouthful. And she screamed. Loudly.

Narcissa looked furious for a moment. Then…

She threw a ball of dust at Hermione.

Hermione giggled and a dust fight issued throughout the room.

Dust and dirt from ten years ago flew about the room in great clods. Everyone got dirtier as the day wore on.

The room was filthy.

Suddenly, the door opened.

Mrs. Weasley was there, carrying a pile of clean laundry. She stopped in shock at the disgusting room and people, especially at Narcissa, whose hair had changed rapidly from blonde to grey with dust.

Mrs. Weasley fainted.

And everyone laughed.

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Parvati then decided to clean out a cabinet by herself, a severe mistake, to redeem herself in Mrs. Weasley's eyes (Mrs. Weasley had woken up, yelled at everyone, then got rid of the dust with a wave of her wand). Cleaning out the cabinets alone in Number 12, Grimmauld Place was not a good idea. As Forrest Gump once said, "You don't know what you gonna get." And he was very right.

Parvati encountered another spider, but had her wand ready to Stun it and throw it away. Suddenly, the dishes in the cabinet started bouncing. They bounced right out of the cabinet and danced all about the room. It was quite funny to see Parvati running after plates and ancient china bowls looking extremely angry.

One bounced at her…and knocked her out.

Ginny stepped out from behind the cabinet. "Virginia Weasley, your pranks get better and better. I mean seriously. This is the best I've pulled here! Bouncing dishes! What next? At least I didn't do any of the other stuff; it was there originally. But really. I am a genius."

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Draco was cleaning out a wardrobe. There were some very musty old robes in there that had to be taken out.

Now, reader, you know that Draco has a penchant for singing while in a good mood, or when he is busy.

At this point, Draco was busy, and he started singing.

"Don't go for second best baby, put your love to the test, you know you know, you've got to! Make him express…"

Harry heard a weird noise. What the heck was that? He crept to a bedroom from which the noise was coming.

"…How he feels, then baby, you know your love is real." Draco was totally getting into the song. He spun his mop around and attempted some crazy dance moves.

Harry pulled open the door.

"Satin sheets are very romantic, what happens when you're not there?"

Oh. Not the right room. It was the next one.

"Take it to a higher ground!"

Harry pulled open the door. In the room was a very amusing sight. Draco was break dancing with a mop, positively screaming, "DON'T GO FOR SECOND BEST, BABY, PUT YOUR LOVE TO THE TEST, YOU KNOW YOU KNOW YOU'VE GOT TO! MAKE HIM EXPRESS HOW HE FEELS AND THEN YOU KNOW YOUR LOVE IS REAL, EXPRESS YOURSELF!"

"Draco…"

"YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE HIM EXPRESS HIMSELF. HEY, HEY! SO IF YOU WANT IT RIGHT NOW, MAKE HIM SHOW YOU HOW! EXPRESS WHAT HE'S GOT…"

Suddenly, Draco's song was drowned out by a screech of, "Filthy Mudbloods, contaminating the home of my fathers…"

Draco let out a high-pitched scream.

Harry grinned at him. "Sorry, mate, I couldn't help but hear you…neither could Sirius' mum down there.'

"…"

"The picture downstairs is one of Sirius' dead mum. She screams when there's too much noise. I forgot to tell you."

"Unworthy Muggle filth, traipsing over the floor that once harboured pure blood!"

"Yeah. So you get my point. Try to keep the eighties at a bare minimum."

"Hm."

Narcissa ran downstairs trying to calm the portrait of her screaming aunt.

"Now, now…"

"Filthy niece of mine, I am ashamed of the blood that connects us. Associating with blood-traitors, filthy Muggles…"

Draco turned red. "Um, hee, hee."

At the moment, Ginny walked in. "God, Draco, don't you have a thing for eighties music. And loud. You should be a singer."

A/N: I can't stop the Draco-singing-eighties-music thing. I love it, for some strange reason. Anyway… Voldemort will be here soon…