Have you ever gotten that eerie 'I'm being watched' feeling where your skin and scalp crawls almost as if an entire colony of insects are inhabiting your body. Okay, well, I was definitely getting that feeling, and if I was truly being honest with myself, then I would admit that the feeling had progressed from being merely suspicious to downright paranoid. We were part of an entourage (don't you just love that word) heading toward the arena where the concert was being performed, followed closely behind by a flight to Sweden, when I noticed a man leaning casually against the outside of the building watching as we climbed into the cars.
I don't think it would have struck me as odd if I hadn't realized that this was the fourth time in three days that I had seen him. And why did that bother me? Because something told me that it wasn't normal for a guy to wear a baseball hat low over his face almost to the point it was touching his chin, dark sunglasses, and a long coat with a pulled up collar in fairly mild weather. Nope, not normal at all. I squinted at him curiously as the door to the car closed in my face, and the quick glimpse of dark hair I saw as he turned away from me was enough to make me realize he looked eerily familiar. Turning in my seat as we drove away, I stared anxiously out the window as Spied tugged on my arm insistently.
"Jude, they have seat belt laws for a reason." He said teasingly as I looked over at him distractedly.
"Huh? Oh yeah?" I stammered nonsensically before turning back around and facing the group in front of me. Patsy was staring at me with a quirked brow as Jamie shrugged as if asking 'what gives.'
"Are you alright, Jude?" Spied asked suddenly as he let his arm rest casually behind me on the seat. I just shook my head slowly as if clearing myself of the confusion that had begun to settle over my mind. I was seriously starting to feel like I was going insane. Jesus, I hope dating Tommy wasn't turning me into a psycho too. As if we were dating anyway. More like lovers with benefits if that makes sense. Anywho, I let the barrage of thoughts that bombarded me run through my brain like the dizzying assortment of ponies you see on merry-go-rounds as I looked over and nodded slightly at Spied to let him know all was fine. Across from me, Jamie didn't look convinced but I gave him a look that said 'don't go there' and he quirked a brow before turning his attention back to Patsy. Oh, the days of our lives. Note to self: Make an appointment with the shrink.
After the concert…
Oh it was driving me nuts! The man was there again as we boarded a plane to Sweden, and I watched uneasily as he handed a boarding pass to the lady collecting those for our flight. Scooting closer to Spied, I grabbed a fistful of the material that made up his jacket as the man brushed past me, letting his arm graze mine in the process. Little shivers ran up and down my spine as his scent invaded my lungs causing me to turn so fast that I almost pulled Spied over on top of me. It couldn't be! Spied laughed as he straightened up before wrapping his arm around my waist.
"If you want me that badly, Jude, all you have to do is ask." He said seductively as I rolled my eyes heavenward at his suggestion, although I did allow him to pull me along toward the plane and I didn't let go until we were seated. I was losing it. That's all there was to it. Just plain old losing it. Checking to make sure there was a barf bag inside the seat in front of me, I sighed in relief as I noticed the white material. I mean, can you blame me? I was suddenly very very worried I made need it in case I hyperventilated. Spied leaned his seat back lazily.
"Up for a game of cards?" He asked abruptly as I turned to look at him slowly. I think it was the first time that day I had really noticed him—that's how bad my own thoughts had started invading my every day activities. Just one more really big concert left with a smaller one in Sweden tomorrow. All I had to do was keep telling myself that I could do it.
"Not really." I answered honestly as he shrugged before swiping a bag of peanuts from a passing flight attendant.
"What's going on, Jude?" He asked me suddenly as he settled his head back against the seat. I just stared at him blankly before shrugging and turning to peer out the window into the night. Spied sighed before grabbing my hand unpredictably with such a grip that I could tell that he was frustrated.
"What happened to us, Jude?" He asked unexpectedly in such a serious tone that I found myself drawn to his pain. I could see the love he felt for me reflected in his gaze and it really wounded me. Letting him grip my hand, I squeezed back just enough to let him know that I had never meant to hurt him. He shook his head in resignation.
"You must know I still care about you way more than I should, right? What is it about Tommy anyway that draws you to him like a freakin' moth to a flame?" He asked in agitation as I shrugged helplessly.
"I don't know, Spied." I said with such regret that it dripped like poison off my tongue. I hated that I couldn't love Spied the same way he loved me.
"It's been about Tommy since the first day I black balled him for being a boy bander. I couldn't even tell you why. He's in my gut, Spied, so much so that my stomach hurts just thinking about him. And, trust me, sometimes I hate him for being so much a part of me just as much as I love him for it." I said in a low tone as Spied first stared at me and then glanced away. He squeezed my hand once more and then let go just as quickly almost as if he needed to put up a barrier between us. Something told me things weren't fully settled between us, but I was too keyed up to worry about it. Laying my head on his shoulder a second, I kissed the tip of my finger before pressing that same finger against his cheek.
"I'll always care about you, Spied, in that special way I've always cared about you." I said in a whisper as he looked down at me for a moment allowing our gazes to lock.
"I just wish that were enough for me." He said just as softly as I lifted my head off his shoulder and placed a hand affectionately on his knee. There were just some things words couldn't fix. I heard movement in front of me, and I glanced up to see what had captured my attention only to find myself staring into the back of a gray coat as my mystery stalker walked past us down the aisle. I had a feeling he had been standing there a while. Shivering, I looked one more time at Spied before letting my head fall back casually against the glass of my window.
In Sweden…
We disembarked the plane in a group as Darius ushered us into a small private room he had reserved at the airport. Holding his hand up like a drill sergeant, he whistled for our silence before stepping up to a platform.
"Alright guys, here's the deal. I am going to give you directions to your hotel and I will contact a cab company to take you there, but as for the staff of G Majors, we're going to need to fly ahead to Paris to make some emergency arrangements. You think you guys can handle being on your own until we can get you set up in France?" Darius asked pointedly before staring at me intently. I just shrugged. I didn't see why not. SME, Patsy, and Jamie could have cared less as Darius smiled and hopped off the dais. Clapping his hand together once, he looked at us all with a smile.
"Well, then. Let's get this party started." He said with a sneer. It wouldn't be long before I discovered exactly what kind of party it was...
