Disclaimer: As far as I'm aware everything in this chapter is our idea and what not. Of course the whole concept of Harry Potter is Joanne Rowling's but I'll tell you what's not Jo's? MY EARLOBE! TAKE THAT YOU CHICKEN EATING BIRDS.

What? okay I'd like to apologise. Theres something about being stuck in a room and then being forced to write that send me and slightly us insane.


Like every other superhero in this universe, I, Boxboy, did indeed have a sidekick. However, unlike all the other sidekicks that possessed some kind of amazing power, Anything Man had no special power other than the power to be incredibly idiotic.

True he is my best mate, but he does have his moments.

"James! James! Look! It's snowing! AHAHAH SNOWING INDOORS! IT'S SNOWING, SNOWING, SNO- ouch… OUCH! JAMES! IT'S BURNING ME! AAAHH!"

Yes, Anything Man was talking about the wax falling from the candles in the great hall. He seemed to be the only one stupid enough to dance on hot wax.

"JAMES I'M GOING TO DIE! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?"

"Yes, Padfoot I was listening, I just wasn't listening."

"What?"

"LISTENING, SIRIUS, LISTENING."

"Oh, okay."

Remus leant over and whispered "You do realise that makes no sense?"

I nodded "But brainiac over there doesn't."

Lily was standing to my left. I mean sitting. And to the right. With her group of friends whom I nicknamed Bob and Bobina because my memory for names was atrocious, and they kind of looked alike. Despite the fact their hair colour, eye colour, body build, personality and height were different. They could be twins!

To get on Lily's good side I walked over to make polite chit-chat.

"Bob, Bobina, Lily." I said nodding to each of them. Lily was scowling. Sometimes that girl does such sexy things.

"What are you doing here, Potter?" Bobina was smiling at me… At least I think it was Bobina… Or was it Bob… Oh I don't know the one with brown hair.

"Making polit- I mean – I just came over to say hello to my fellow head, love, is that such a crime?"

"DON'T CALL ME-"

"JAMIE OH BUDDY OH PAL OH FRIEND OF MINE THERE'S SNOW IN MY HAIR CAN YOU GET IT OUT? Please?"

"Sirius, that isn't snow, that's wax?" Lily butted in, looking concerned for his health and her well being.

"It's not wax it's snow" he started babbling nervously. "I'LL SHOW YOU ALL! ONE DAY YOU WILL FIND THE SECRET SNOW SPACE IN THE HALL AND NO ONE WILL BELIEVE YOU AND THEN YOU'LL REGRET INSULTING ME!"

"We didn't insult you, Padfoot, mate."

"You didn't? Oh okay, Good Day," and with that he skipped off.

"Does he seem extra… cheery today?"

"Mm yes but did you hear about what happened on the platform?" Said Bob.

"Yes," I answered.

"Isn't it horrible," said Lily

"I didn't hear about that, yes, do tell." I answered

"But you said you knew," said Lily.

"I do!" I retorted.

"Then you don't need an explanation," complained Lily

"BUT I WANT ONE!" I yelled.

"YOU HAVE TO EARN ONE!"

"BUT EARNING STUFF IS ANNOYING."

"THEN NO EXPLANATION."

"FINE, SEE IF I CARE!"

"I WILL!"

"WHAT, YOU'LL CARE?"

"NO YOU WILL."

"NO I WON'T YOU SAID YOU'D CARE!"

"BUT I DON'T CARE!"

"GOOD NEITHER DO I!"

"GOOD!"

"GOOD!"

"GREAT!"

"GREAT!"

"FINE!"

"FINE!"

"DANDY!"

"DANDY!"

"WONDERFUL!"

"WONDERFUL!"

"DINNER!"

"DINNER?"

"FOOD?"

"Food."

I sat back down slowly over to where Remus was. Sirius was pulling the Snowy wax out of his hair while Peter talked to Lily. Damn lucky rodent.

"You were really setting a fine example for the first years, Prongs." Whispered Remus as Gerald Huckabee was sorted into Hufflepuff. "Arguing Heads before school has even really started."

As per usual I was not really paying attention.

I mean people round here don't know what it's like to be a Superhero. In fact Sirius is the only one that knows because with the whole secret identity thing, it's hard.

(FLASH BACK)

"Hi I'm Anything Man!" Who ever this Sirius look alike is he isn't wearing a mask… unless the face of Sirius is meant to terrify our opponents.

"I'm (drum roll) BOX BOY!"

"Wow, really? I'm Sirius. Sirius Black -"

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KEEP YOUR IDENTITY SECRET!"

"What if I was an evil villain, huh? Anyway I told you my name so you have to tell me yours."

"No, it's a secret!"

"Aaww come on I told you my secret now you have to tell me yours!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Shut up or I'll tell everyone about the time you snuck into the girl dorms at night!"

A stunned gasping look struck Anything Sirius's face.

"ONLY JAMES KNOWS ABOUT THAT!"

Crud.

"YOU MUST KNOW JAMES! I know James he's a really nice guy, I'm kind of offended he told you that secret though."

What an idiot.

(END FLASHBACK)

"What happened on the station must have really affected his sense. Or what was left of his sense."

"What happened on the platform?"

"You don't know?"

"No, I don't"

"You honestly don't know?"

"NO!"

"AHAHAH YOU DON'T KNOW! HAHA!"

"Just tell me."

"Okay well Sirius was just stepping off the train when -"

"- YOU'RE TALKING TO ME BEHIND MY BACK!" Yelled Sirius once again ruining the moment.

"We weren't talking to you, you just entered the conversation."

"SO YOU WERE TALKING BEHIND ME! YOU ADMITED IT TO MY FACE!"

"But, you were in front of us, mate." Remus gave me a 'Crud' look.

"I DON'T CARE IF YOU WERE BELOW ME OR ABOVE ME YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT – Potatoes! Mashed potato! Potato mountain, OH POTATO CASTLE," Sirius got suddenly extremely distracted by the mass of potato that had appeared in the middle of the Gryffindor table.

Suddenly Padfoot disappeared from view, and under the table he went. All along the seats you could hear people screaming in disgust.

"OUCH!"

"That was my foot!"

"Oh my gosh, someone just pinches my a-"

"AHAHA THAT TICKLES!"

"Ew, what just touched my leg?"

A head popped up somewhere and the bowl of potato disappeared and the yelling started again.

"YOWEE!"

"I must be sitting on a bug something just pinched my a-"

"OUCH!"

"Do you mind?"

Sirius appeared in his seat again, with a strangely mysteriously creepy grin upon his otherwise not-so-scary face. There was also a large piece of fluff in his hair. A rather large piece of fluff.

"Mate, there's fluff in your hair from crawling about under the table," I pointed out, getting rather irritated by the large fluff hanging in my face.

"W-what are you on about hehe I wouldn't do such a thing!" The whole Gryffindor table was starring at him.

"Well I didn't!" He insisted.

"Yeah, you did. We all saw you."

"LIAR!" he threw a potato at my face, knocking me backwards and sending my best glasses flying in the direction of Lily. She ducked and they accidentally went flying all the way over towards the Slytherin table, whacking Snivellus in the back of his greasy bony skull.

"Bad luck Prongsie, you'll have to machine wash them now."

I waltzed over to where the greasy little garden-of-thorns was perched upon his little tuffet of wooden grass. In other words, I strutted over to where the annoying little prat was sitting at the far end of the Slytherin table with the tune of 'Staying Alive' helping my stride.

"Say, would you mind giving back my glasses Snivellus, you see I sort of need them to observe objects that are more than three inches in front of my face. But please, when you give them to me, make sure I've turned around. I was hoping to start the school year without having to see you."

In the distance I could hear the faint but distinctive thudding of a book against a werewolf's forehead. I was very accustomed to the sound.

It was indeed Remus thwacking his brand new edition of 'Hogwarts: The Yesteryear Experience' against his head. It was clear I had done something wrong. Nothing ever brought Remus to cause pain to himself other than the full moon and yours truly. What a great team we make. One is mesmerisingly bright and the other… mesmerisingly bright.

In the mean time, I could hear Snivellus' left eye pulsating and his left nostril flaring and his left lip twitching. Twas' an amusing sight in our first year but because of the current situation, I had to rely on memory.

"Why would I give them to you overly pretentious, high-flying, flowery swank of a la-di-da?"

"Okay, One: hand them over, they are mine and we are in the Great Hall which therefore means teachers. Two: stop stealing my home-made thesaurus and Three:..."

He had a little bag with him that he had obviously taken some stuff onto the train with. Feeling the full stare of Lily and hearing the giggling encouragement of some third years, or at least they were third years at some point in time in the their academic career. I took the bag from underneath the bench and much to his dismay his shrimpily long arms could not grab a hold me. He really should stop running his hand through his hair.

I proceeded by rummaging through his bag and began walking backwards to avoid him. I recognised my book as it was bright pink and opened the rest of the zip wide open, emptying the contents across the hall. Ink bottles and the likes decorated the surrounding. I call it James ala brilliant.

Snivellus was now running up and down the place collecting his belongings. I went back to him and snatched the now fogged up glasses from his midst.

"And that's number three."

Rather impressed with my first evil move of the year I placed the glasses upon the bridge of my nose and turned around to see –

"JAMES POTTER, WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Ah, Professor McGonagall, my dearest pal. She seemed somewhat uptight this evening.

"Keeping tradition?" I asked with the upmost innocence, fluttering my eyelashes and hoping to escape with just a harsh yelling.

"KEEPING TRADITION? MR POTTER YOU STOLE ANOTHER STUDENTS BAG AND DISCARDED HIS VALUABLES. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?"

I thought about it long, and hard.

"I'm terribly sorry that he got in my-"

"IT'S COMPLETE!" came the hysterical shout from my somewhat disturbed best friend. He really should work on his hysterical shout. It frightens the ladies.

"What the…"


Author's Note: OOOH CLIFF HANGER! Okay, I'll justcalm down and apologise for the long gap. The author's decided to be anti-social for a very long time. Just because we couldn't be bothered basically. Anyway, enjoy this strange chapter and reveiw, because not only are we a worthwhile charity, it's a very uplifting feeling. And remember "We are all in this together!"... Merits for that guy who threw the bottle at Ben Lee.. i do love him but that's beside the point.. it's still funny.

Tuh tar All!

Love Shoey and Lolly