Chapter 6: Getting Engaged for the Wrong Reasons

I was sitting by the bench on the porch of the cottage we are staying at when Kenshin suddenly appeared and sat beside me. "Hey nice of you to finally join us. Are you okay now?"

"Yes. I'm fine now," I replied, glancing up at him to give him the same sweet and welcoming smile that I usually give him whenever he approaches me.

"Why did you stay in your room all day yesterday? You left me without nothing to do and no one to talk to…I was so bored," he mussed leaning back on the white wooden bench we are sitting on.

The sun was shining very brightly that morning greeting us to a very bright and sunny day. I watched Kenshin slipped on his dark sunglasses and slightly brushed his red bangs away from his face.

My mind suddenly wandered back to the conversation I had with my mother yesterday morning that resulted to my hiding out inside the bedroom all day long.

"I was not supposed to tell you this but I can't hold it any longer… We have decided to get you two married ever since you were young. We have always hoped that you would get along and eventually fall in love so that it would be easier for us. By marrying the two of you, the bond between our families would be stronger and our corporate empire would become more prevailing together," Mother related to me.

"So you mean I am betrothed to Kenshin ever since we were kids!" I asked in extreme disbelief. "B-but you can't do that! You can merge your companies without the need to marry us! You can't marry us for money! You can't! You have to help me stop it Okaasan… Onegai… " This is absurd. Kenshin… Kenshin, he's in love with someone else!

Mother went beside me and placed her arms around me to give me a hug. "Kaoru-chan. Gomen ne…"

And then I learned after that that we are going to perform the Yui no (engagement) in Wednesday next week here in Okinawa and the traditional Japanese wedding ceremony one week after that, exactly three days after we get back to Kyoto. I'll be a married woman in less than three weeks to the person whom I love most but whose heart is with someone else. Worst of all, he does not even know that he is going to be married.

"Kaoru-chan, daijoubu?" A hand wove itself in front of my face to get my attention.

I looked at my companion startled. "Huh? You were saying something?" I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I did not catch what my fiancé was telling me.

He gave out a sigh as he draped his hand over my shoulder, sending tingles on my skin. "Kaoru-chan you seem so distracted… Is there something wrong?"

"You must not reveal anything to Kenshin. It will only complicate things. Let his own parents tell him."

They are afraid that things would get complicated; didn't they realize that things are bound to be complicated? Whatever happens, things are going to get nasty. That is the reason why I'm scared, frightened of the implications that would come out of this whole situation. How would Kenshin react? He would probably hate me, my parents and his own parents. Aside from that, we are too young to get married. Even though I don't have much concrete plans in my life, I'm not really keen on getting married during high school.

On the other hand, if I would think about it seriously, I would gain something valuable in this marriage; I would marry the man that I love, I would get Kenshin easily. However my conscience is yelling to me that this is not right, he doesn't love me; in addition, he is in love with someone else. The consequences that will occur if this crazy marriage of convenience pushed through is not something that I want to think about.

"You have to understand Kaoru. The Himura's business is not really doing well right now due to aggressive competition. If that continues, their stockholders will lose confidence in them and eventually they will have to close down. If the two of you get married, our companies can merge and the reputation of the Himuras in public will be spared from humiliation."

"Can't you merge our companies without marrying us?"

"I'm afraid we don't treat that as an option Kaoru. First of all, marriage is a stronger bond than trust. Second, we have always wanted, ever since then, to see the two of you marry. Lastly, your father and I are considering your future and the company's as well. We wanted someone to help you in managing our businesses once your mother and I plan to retire."

My feelings are now torn. If I tell him now, Kenshin will be totally against it but he will not be angry with me and there will be a bigger probability that the wedding will be stopped. The outcome of the option however is that the Himura enterprise will face bankruptcy and their reputation in the social circle will be totally ruined- not to mention I will not get Kenshin and our parents would be angry with us. If I don't tell him, the wedding will continue, their businesses will be saved, our parents will be extremely happy and I will be married to him. The outcome however…

"I'm fine Kenshin," I finally said with a forced smile. After all of my inner musings, I still decided keep my mouth shut about the issue. Does that make me a coward?

Most of all… does that make me selfish?

He removed his arm from my shoulder and let out a yawn stretching out his arms.

"If you say so."

"By the way, Okaasan said that you carried me back two nights ago. I don't remember much but I would like to thank you," I suddenly remembered what mother told me before she revealed that horrible news.

"All I can say is that you owe me. You fell asleep on me while I was telling you a very good story. I was telling you how I first met Tomoe and how I got my cross scar on my left cheek by saving her from thugs. It was really pretty heroic for me," he replied feeling oblivious to the turmoil that is raging inside me.

"I always owe you don't I?" I asked remembering the time where Kenshin helped me that night when Megumi and Nahoko locked me inside the ladies' comfort room. 'I owe you yet I have to hide something big from you.'

"Come to think of it, you do owe me lots."

I closed my eyes and tried to remember the events last night, but the last memory that I had a hold of is our conversation regarding the finals after my 5th cup of sake. After that, it is all just a confusing blur. I hope I did not do something embarrassing… I would just die if I revealed my feelings to him or made suggestive moves on him unconsciously. "Uh, did I say or do something crazy when I was drunk?"

He thought for a moment, tilting his head to one side. My hands shook a little as I waited for his answer, thinking for a moment that I indeed said or did something stupid. Then, to my relief, he turned to me and gave me a smile. "Nope, no crazy deeds or words. All you did was sat there while I tell you how I met Tomoe then you passed out."

"Oh… sou ka(Is that so)? How come every time I talk to him, he never once failed to mention his loving girlfriend. All of sudden, that nagging and terrible feeling called guilt made its way into my system. 'Maybe I should tell him what my parents are planning…so that his perfect relationship would not be ruined' I took a deep breath and decided to just get it over with and tell him."Kenshin I—"

"Kenshin! Kaoru! Why are you still hanging around there? Let's go! We need to hurry so that we can go around the place more," my father called out. We are scheduled to go on an island tour today so that we can really explore the Okinawa Islands.

"Finally! Something to do." Kenshin stood up and stretched out his arms. He held out his hand for me to help me stand up. "Let's go?"

Pushing what I had to say at the back of my mind, I smiled and took his hand. "Hai, let's go."

I don't have to tell him right now, I have the rest of the week to tell him before the engagement proper, ne? Aside from that I don't think I'm ready to tell him yet because as soon as I do that, the normalcy of things will be disrupted. To be honest, I'm kind of thankful that we were interrupted.

However my mind is once again nagging at me that the larger reason why I feel so relieved about the interruption is that I'm feeling bitter about his perfect relationship with Tomoe.

0000---

I couldn't have been more wrong. I don't have time to tell Kenshin, at all. Right after the leisure trip around Okinawa last Wednesday, my mother dragged me to the capital to buy engagement gifts for the groom's family, my engagement kimono and to be fitted for my Uchikake(white wedding kimono).

For my engagement kimono, we purchased a beautiful dark blue kimono with small white and light pink butterfly prints all over the left side and hem of the cloth. The obi on the other hand is in line with the white and light pink theme of the design. My mother chose that one because she said that the color complimented my eyes very well. Even though I wasn't really ecstatic in preparing for the Yui no, I can't help but agree with my mother that the kimono was really perfect.

Meanwhile, as I was fitting the Uchikake, I caught my mother getting slightly teary eyed at seeing me wearing a clothing that only brides wear. Although it was their idea to begin with, it is still feels surreal to prepare for the wedding of your only child and daughter.

Staring at my reflection, a pale black-haired girl wrapped in that pure white material, it suddenly felt more and more real. I'm really getting married.

Just like most girls, I have imagined once or twice what my dream wedding would be like. I did not imagine myself in a white kimono; instead I will be dressed up in a simple but elegant wedding gown with my hair piled up neatly in a bun. I will wear not a Tsuno Kakushi hood but a long veil and a tiara. Then as I walked down the long red-carpeted aisle, a classical music, specifically Mozart's Pachebel in Canon in D major in it's best version will be playing in the background, not a traditional Japanese song. The wedding that our parents planned for us is the exact opposite of what I desire except for one very significant detail. In my dream… I have always envisioned that as I walk through the aisle with Okaasan and Otousan at my side, the man waiting for me at the end would be Kenshin.

'Probably, that is the part that really matters.'

With this crazy idea of our parents, I am fulfilling the wish that I have deemed before as the most unreachable of all dreams. I am getting married to Himura Kenshin.

For all the wrong reasons.

And that leads me again whether I should tell Kenshin or not.

The devil inside me nagged me that I should be happy. Who cares if Kenshin doesn't love me? I love him anyway; at least there is still love in this marriage. Who knows? Maybe he will learn to love me after some time. I should just go with the flow and let things happen as planned. Don't tell Kenshin, let him find out for himself and since he doesn't really know how I feel, act like I have been deceived too. We are in the same boat; the two of us are our parents' victims. It may be hard at first but eventually, I can make him love me and everything will be okay.

Suddenly, a picture of a happy Kenshin and Tomoe holding hands appeared in my mind bursting whatever bubble I have. If I follow what my darker side is telling me, I will be ruining the perfectly happy and loving relationship of my two friends. It will also change our lives permanently and affect our future paths and decisions. No matter how many times I looked at our situation in different angles, there will always be one result: Kenshin will be unhappy.

And I will be miserable.

Now, it's Sunday night and I still don't have any plans on how to tell Kenshin. With the way that he is acting, laughing and having a good time talking to our parents, it seems like Uncle Seijiro and Aunt Okon hasn't told him yet. Curse them! When the hell are they planning to tell their son that he is engaged? Because of them, I'm having a hard time and is carrying a very heavy emotional burden.

"Why aren't you eating Kaoru-chan? Come on the food is delicious!" Kenshin said as he placed several sushis and maki on my plate.

I gave him a grateful smile as I picked up a maki with my chopsticks and ate it.

At the corner of my eye I saw my parents secretly grinning at each other. God, they must have loved that moment.

I turned back my attention to Kenshin who is happily but silently eating the dishes in front of him.

He turned his violet gaze on me, his eyes filled with concern and worry. "Is there something wrong? You have been so quiet lately…"

He just doesn't know how much I wanted to talk to him, alone. But it seems like our parents are now on guard because every time Kenshin and I had a chance to be together to talk, either okaasan or otousan would be standing by, observing from a distance and within earshot. "Oh, I was just a little preoccupied lately. There are a lot of things in my mind…"

"What things?"

My my, he is a little persistent tonight. "Oh just some stuff."

Father coughed loudly.

"So what should we do tomorrow?" Mother cut in cheerfully, suddenly pouring sake on everyone's cups.

Now you see why I can't talk to Kenshin.

00000------

For the two remaining days, I still failed to inform him and Wednesday finally came with Kenshin still not having the slightest idea about what is going to happen.

"Okaasan, the dinner is less than 30 minutes away, how come I'm the only one who knows?" I inquired to my mother as she was helping me prepare in my kimono.

She did not answer me as she continued to tie the obi around my waist and proceeded as if I did not ask her anything at all.

I sighed in exasperation, feeling very tense, nervous and frightened at the same time. I looked at myself in the huge mirror in front of me, my usually plain face now painted with a light touch of make up and my hair pulled up in a half-pony tail. Although the makeup can conceal the paleness of my face, it can never conceal the frightened expression in my eyes hidden beneath the lens of my glasses. I'm scared… kowaii… and it is the worst feeling that I've ever had in my life. What will happen? How will Kenshin react?

'Will he hate me?'

A terrible feeling settled down in my stomach and I had the sudden urge to vomit. I took a deep breath to calm myself but the feeling did not go away.

"There, all done!" Mother stepped back to look at me. "You look so lovely."

Why can't you see how scared I am and insist to act that everything is perfectly fine? "Okaasan, tonight… it's going to be messy. I'm scared."

He'll hate us. He'll hate his parents, he'll hate his parents… and he'll hate me.

"Kaoru-chan, things are going to be fine… eventually they will be"

My heart was beating so fast as we walked towards the private dining room that they have reserved in the nearest fancy Japanese restaurant. I seem to be dragging my feet forcefully as hundreds of thoughts spiral through my mind. There is nothing I want more than to turn back and run away from this place but I can't do that because my father is walking in front of me while my mother is walking at my back. Besides, this kimono will restrict me from running as fast as I want to and they will drag me to that place all the same.

The waitress attending to us stopped and knelt in front of a room and slowly slid the shoji open revealing the four occupants inside who are kneeling on the floor in front of a low wooden table.

"Sumimasen (Excuse me). The Kamiyas are now here," our attendant said as she gave a low bow.

My father entered the room first followed by my mother then myself. We thanked the waitress then sat opposite the Himuras on the other side of the table. The entire time, I was looking down at either my feet or the floor, refusing to meet anyone's eyes, especially Kenshin's.

"Kaoru-chan, you look beautiful tonight," Aunt Okon complimented me.

I pushed back my eyeglasses on the bridge of my nose as I bowed my head slightly. "Arigatou. You look lovely as well Aunt Okon."

Kenshin, who sitting right across me is also wearing traditional Japanese clothing a white gi and blue hakama with his red hair pulled up in a high ponytail. He chuckled slightly as he took a sip of his tea and said, "Pardon me but what's the occasion? Why are we all wearing this get up as if we have traveled two centuries back in the past?"

My eyes widened at what he just asked. I glanced up a little and observed his oblivious expression as he eagerly awaits for our answers looking like he does not have a single clue that he is getting formally engaged this evening. So his idiot parents still haven't told him yet. I just wonder, how were they able to get him to wear that traditional get up?

"Kenshin, all of us are here for a very important reason," Uncle Seijiro spoke up after a few moments of silence.

I can practically feel the heavy tension inside the room as our parents exchanged glances with each other. Akira, who is sitting beside Kenshin, stole a quick glance at his little brother as lifted his teacup to his mouth to drink. He bears this look on his face that says, 'Keep me out of this mess'. It looks like the person in this room who doesn't know anything is Kenshin himself and that made me feel ten, no, hundred times worse. I clenched and unclenched my hands with tension on my lap as I waited for Uncle Seijiro to continue.

God, how stupid can they get? I know that I have a high regard for my parents' friends; however, telling their son about his engagement only now, not to mention in front of his fiancée and future in-laws is a really stupid idea!

"What reason Otousan? And why in the world are you acting so formal?" Kenshin laughed silently as if the whole situation is really funny. "Lighten up! It's like there is an engagement taking place in here or something."

A terrible shiver ran down my spine and I feel like I've been punched in the stomach on how incredulous Kenshin looked when he mentioned the word "engagement".

"Exactly son… That is what's happening right now," Uncle Seijiro replied in a firm but somewhat faltering tone.

There was an awkward silence that followed and I dare not look up to see how Kenshin will be taking all this. This is it; there is no turning back now.

Seeing that the redhead is not saying anything, his father continued. "Kenshin… it's your engagement tonight. We have decided that it is the right time for you and Kaoru to get married."

"What!" Disbelief, shock and confusion evident in my fiancé's voice.

"Son, we know will be surprised, or shocked, about this whole ordeal and it sounds like it's too sudden to get married but-"

A sound of a fist banged against a wooden table echoed followed by another bang under the table. At the corner of my eye, I saw Kenshin banged his knee on the table as he stood up from his kneeled position. "It is not just too sudden Otousan; it's crazy, it's absurd."

Unlike what I have imagined his reaction would be, he was not shouting or raging mad as he stood there and talked. However, I would have preferred that than the cold and seething voice that he is using right now, like he is spitting poisonous venom to us all. "So tell me, what is the reason behind all these? Are you selling me- or Kaoru off for money? God, we are still in high school."

"Stop it! We are doing this for your future Kenshin! Think about how stable your lives will be if we joined our families. You know our difficult situation Kenshin. I've been continually informing you of our status. This is for the best!" Uncle Seijiro lashed out at him, giving a glare with his commanding eyes, somewhat reminding his son that he has the authority.

"You know I won't do this! You can't force me to marry someone you chose for me!"

And my heart broke at his words. That's right, I'm stooped down to that level. I'm the girl his parents chose for him… and he wants nothing to do with me.

Uncle slammed down his fist on the table making Aunt Okon slightly jump beside him. "You don't have a choice then! You're getting engaged tonight and you will marry next week! God, why do you have to react like this? You could have accepted it quietly like Kaoru did last week."

My blood froze in my body as I looked at my uncle horrified. Suddenly, I felt Kenshin's burning gaze in my direction and I suddenly panicked. Why did he have to bring that up?

"Oh really? Kaoru knew about this since last week?" Kenshin's voice is enough to freeze hell over.

I panicked

Not knowing what to do or what to say, I stood up. "Sumimasen, I-I have to get out of here!" Without thinking, I picked up my skirt and ran out of the room, refusing to meet Kenshin's eyes.

000000----------

Running as fast as my feet, or rather my constricting kimono can take me; I headed towards the direction of a bamboo grove. My heart is beating so fast, my lungs are burning yet I continued to run, not bothering to look back to see if I've been followed.

'Yes Kaoru, run away. This is where you are good at anyway.' I'm such a coward.

Then I heard the sound of someone running fast behind me approaching closer and closer. It wasn't until a hand grabbed my wrist to put me to a halt did I realized that Kenshin has been following me. "We need to talk."

It was a lovely evening with the half crescent moon shining brightly over the sky and a million stars twinkling like crystals among the vast black velvet horizon. This night would have set the perfect romantic atmosphere among couples that want to relax and enjoy the outside scenery. Too bad the exact opposite is happening in my situation.

Kenshin pulled me roughly to a small clearing amidst the tall growing bamboo plants surrounding the place. I staggered behind him attempting to catch up to his great strides and also to yank my hand free from his forceful grasp.

"Kenshin, you're hurting me," I cried out, but I might as well have said nothing for he ignored my protests.

He only let go of me once we have reached the clearing and he pushed my hand roughly that I almost tripped and fell down. I cradled my injured hand close to my chest as I met his gaze. His usually violet-colored eyes now turned amber are narrowed in anger and a very fierce expression is etched out on his handsome face… that moment he looks menacing. Kenshin has always been the epitome of a cool, calm and collected person; rarely does anyone see him get angry. There was a rumor around school that once he got angry, hell would break loose. I have never witness his wrath… until now. 'If only looks could kill, I'd probably dead by now.'

"How could you do this to me Kaoru? How could you keep this from me!"

I bit my lip as I tried to think of a reason for his question, my mind was racing in my head as I list down countless reasons I can use. But in the end with my head bowed down, all I could utter to him was, "Gomen nasai."

"You're sorry? I'm not asking for your apology Kamiya because we all know that sorry can do nothing." He grasped my shoulders and shook me hard like he was trying to knock some sense into me. "Are you just going to accept what they want? Have you not thought that I can't accept it because we are too young and I have someone else? If you told me as soon as they told you, I could have done something about it."

A huge lump formed itself inside my throat as I fought back the tears that are threatening to spill down my eyes. Just as I feared, he is blaming me. "Kenshin, I-I tried to tell you, believe me I really did—"

He looked unconvinced as he pulled away. Then as if a switch is turned on, a look of understanding dawned into his expression and a few seconds later he gave me a mocking grin. "Well obviously you did not try hard enough. Come to think of it, maybe you did not try at all for this is what you really want."

'What I want?' My blood froze at what he said. "W-what are you saying? Kenshin, we are both victims here."

He took a step forward, sneering at me as if I'm some kind of a lowly criminal. "No, I'm the only victim here. You did not tell me because you want this marriage to continue."

"No! You're lying!" I was quick to retort as I backed away from him, unconsciously preparing to run away. He knows? But how can he know? I tried so hard to conceal my feelings for him, but he found out somehow and now he is using them against me.

He grabbed my hand as he came close and looked at me in the eyes. "How can I lie when you were the one who told me that you love me?"

I pushed him away. He's lying. There is no way on earth that I can have the courage to confess to him that I love him, especially when I know how much happy he is with Tomoe and how someone like me cannot compare to her. He is just bluffing and he just wants to blame me for everything. What he's saying is not true.

However, it was the opposite that I'm believing.

"The night you were drunk, you told me that you love me and that you have always been ever since we were young. I tried to cast it off as a joke you were playing, but now I realized that you were indeed telling the truth."

I opened my mouth to speak, to contradict what he is saying and to deny it with all my heart. This is a nightmare that I want to wake up from. The man I love is telling me that I told him he loves me. Worse, he is just standing there not giving a damn about it and he's pushing it aside like it's a curse. But before I had the chance to speak he continued.

"I remembered, you ask me if I could ever love you, even just a little…"

Shaking my head hysterically, I placed my hands over my ears to prevent from listening any longer. "Stop! I don't want to hear anymore!" It's like a dam has suddenly opened and the water will not stop rushing out, hitting with such force to a path leading to what I have been dreading to get into.

Hurt. Broken-heartedness.

"… I will give you an answer now. I don't love you and I will do all it takes to get out of this mess."

Fate decided to play a game on me because I suddenly found myself hurling towards that direction. Tonight is the first night Himura Kenshin intentionally tore my heart into pieces.

Kenshin indeed was true to his word because the next morning, our parents are frantic and they are running around the cottage… looking for my fiancé who ran away


AN: I really really hoped you liked this chapter!

I'm sorry if Kaoru sounds like a weakling in this chapter… you see I have these plans in mind that I will be revealing in the next chapter, if you haven't guessed it yet that is.

Please feel free to leave a review! Please tell me what you think! Please!

Until next time!