Disclaimer: Rk is not mine
Thank you guys so much for all of your support! I'm sorry for the quite long wait… I'm just to busy with my internship and I suffered a little writer's block. Don't worry, just a little.
I'll try to update faster, I promise!
Thanks to:
SuicidalBaka911, Le0na, Hitoshi-Kid, Leighbriel-Misokita, tweet, lynn-minmay, Gray Rose: Thank you guys so much for your support! I hope you will continue to enjoy reading my fic! I love you guys!
Royalbluekitsune: you want to kill kenshin in chapter 6 eh? I wonder what you will do to him in this next chapter. Hehe. Thanks for the email! I'm sorry I wasn't able to update last Sunday as you wanted. I wasn't finished with the chapter yet… gomen ne. But your email kept me motivated! Arigatou!
Shinta-fan: Pair up Kaoru with someone? Hmm we'll see… Thanks for the support.
Microburst#16: I'm sorry for the cliffie. Hehe. Thanks for finding my story good!
Fallen Shadow: here is the next chapter! I hope you enjoy it and continue reading my fic! Thanks!
Britannie Love: Wow, thank you for loving my fic! I wish I will keep you hooked with this until the end! Thank you!
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Peavine85: Wow! A new reader! You are most welcome to read my fic! I'm so glad you liked it. Actually I started this story with Kenshin and Kaoru very OOC.. but I'm still trying to bring out some of their original character. Thank you for all of your compliments and comments. I really appreciate them. Hope to hear from you again. )
SJ. Kidd: I'm happy that you loved Kaoru's character. I hope you'll love her (and Kenshin) more as this story progresses! Thanks so much!
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Kean: Now that I think about it, yes my story is a bit like Ranma ½… hmmm I did not realize that. Don't worry, there will be progress in Kaoru's character, though it won't show in the next few chapters, it will eventually. I hope you will like the turn of events that I have planned out. Thank you very much for your suggestions and comments. I really really appreciate them. Feel free to leave them anytime. Arigatou gozaimasu!
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Nette JP: Well here is the next chapter! I hope you liked it!
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on with the story
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Chapter 7: Separation of Hearts
I hate my life. I hate my parents. I hate my parent's friends. I hate that annoying attendant of this cabin. I hate those people who are having the time of their lives this spring. I hate Kyoko Fukada in that rerun of Strawberry on Shortcake I am watching now. I hate Misao for being in Tokyo during this time of my life. I hate Yukishiro Tomoe for being Kenshin's girlfriend. I hate Himura Kenshin for being an asshole and for breaking my heart. Mostly, I hate myself for letting him and being so bitter about it; resulting into hating everything I have laid my senses into at this moment.
What a pathetic life I lead.
After knowing that Kenshin ran away in the early hours of morning I escaped to the solitude of my room once again refusing to speak to anyone. As if they have the time to talk to me, all of them are busy searching for my runaway fiancé.
His parents are confident that he did not go out of the islands because they believe that Kenshin doesn't have enough money to go away that far. But just in case, they got in touch with the proper officials in the airport to see if there would be any flights that will be taken by their red-head son.
Uncle Seijiro went to the train station to check if Kenshin is there. Akira, on the other hand, announced earlier that he has a vague idea where his brother will be running to and left to follow his lead. Aunt Okon and my family opted to stay here in the cabin just in case Kenshin decided to return.
I seriously doubt he would return when he did his best to get away from here.
Away from me.
"I don't love you and I will do all it takes to get out of this mess."
Feeling my eyes watering up again for the nth time since I ran away from Kenshin last night after he bluntly told me that he despises me, I buried my head in my arms as I sat on the floor leaning back on the side of my bed. How can he just hurt me like that? His face was expressionless as he told me those words. There is one word to describe him that moment— he was indifferent.
How ironic that to one person, a moment means nothing yet for another it means everything?
God, I feel like such a lame teenage drama queen.
Suddenly someone knocked at my door interrupting me from my inner musings. "Kaoru? Please open the door. I have something important to tell you."
Why can't they leave me alone and sulk in silence?
"Go away! I don't feel like talking right now," I said rather rudely, but I don't care. I feel like I'm entitled to act like a bitch with my situation.
"Akira just called; he has found Kenshin. They'll be here in awhile."
In my humble opinion, I'd prefer that he never come back for many reasons. One: because I hate him. Two: To cancel our wedding. Three: I'm scared of him.
"Kaoru?" my mother called out once again for I did not reply to what she just said.
"I heard you Okaasan." I stood up, retrieved my glasses from the bedside table and finally opened the door to let her in.
Concern was evident on her face as she entered the room. She touched my face and noticed that my cheeks are wet from tears. "Are you okay?"
I turned away from her and sat on the edge of the bed, putting up a show that I'm watching the television.
"Kaoru… we're leaving earlier than planned. We're going home tomorrow."
"I know."
Mother must have sensed that I am in no mood to talk because a moment later, she excused herself and went out of the room. Talk about a major bitch fit.
Right after lunchtime, Akira returned, literally dragging a pissed off Kenshin behind him. It seems like Kenshin's best friend, Aoshi, has some relatives living in this part of the country. Akira remembered that Aoshi hung out once six months ago in their house with his cousins and they were introduced to each other. He also remembered them mentioning that they are staying near a famous hotel that is just a boat and a train ride away from where we are currently at. Fortunately, or unfortunately in my and Kenshin's case, his instincts were correct and he found him there.
As soon as they arrived, Kenshin and Uncle Seijiro went to a room and stayed there to talk. After an hour, the younger man stormed out of the room and quickly went out of the cabin. I was surprised that they did not stop him and locked him inside a room to prevent him from running away again.
It took me almost the whole day to compose myself before going out, feeling a little less emotional and moody than before. Dinner was really unpleasant because no one was in the mood to say anything other than my parents.
Feeling a bit claustrophobic inside the cabin, I went outside to sit on the white wooden bench right in front of the cabin entrance to watch the stars above and relax my mind. This week has been the most stressful week of my life and I feel like I owe it to myself to lay back and forget about everything, at least for a while. I closed my eyes and leaned back on my seat calming my thoughts and attempting to forget everything that happened.
On the contrary, guilt won't let me because a few minutes later, I felt someone sat beside me. Opening my eyes, I saw that it was Kenshin.
"Congratulations. You won." He uttered icily, snapping shut his flip top silver mobile phone.
"What do you mean?" I asked confused.
"You guys won, my father blackmailed me so I'm marrying you on Wednesday."
I stood up shocked. Blackmail? For stooping that low, our parents are really keen on continuing with this marriage. "What did they blackmail you with?"
"Someone blabbed about my relationship with Tomoe."
I remembered my earlier blunder to my mother 'Oh God, my mother told them.' How can she do that? She promised! "Kenshin, I did not tell mother intentionally, it was an accident—"
"Look, it doesn't matter. They know now and they are threatening that they will bring the Yukishiro's business down. Your father along with mine owns a lot of stock of their company and is a huge investor so once they pull out they will go bankrupt." His voice was deep and is full of bitterness. "I can't let that happen. Tomoe has a lot of dreams to fulfill so she can't become poor because of me. I love her so much."
I feel terrible. Why do they have to involve Tomoe's family in this? She is such a good person and she is my friend. I don't want her to suffer. But either way, whether I marry Kenshin or not, she will suffer.
Kenshin glared his golden amber eyes at me, his eyes full of resentment and hatred. "Are you happy now? Huh? You will have me. This is what you want right? To be Himura Kaoru?"
Suddenly feeling the need to hurt this person beside me, I slapped him hard on the face, leaving a very red mark on his scarred left cheek. With tears brimming in my eyes, I cried out my frustrations. "This is not what I want! I never dreamed of hurting either you or Tomoe. Why are you blaming me for all of this? I'm sorry that I did not tell you but I did not plan this. It's not my fault!"
He looked at me once again; however, his face now cold and indifferent. "I don't care. All I know is that you ruined my life and I won't forgive you for that. All of you. Too bad you will be the one who will suffer the most because you love me and you will become my wife." Then he stood up and left me.
At that moment, I can't help but feel that he hated me by just existing.
Both my parent's and Kenshin's parents have been busy preparing for the wedding right after we returned to Kyoto the day before. The invitations were sent the first week of our vacation (sent out even before I learned about it!) so the phone is ringing all day for reservations and inquiries. The wedding planner my mother hired beforehand has been questioning me constantly, and I answered her queries with a lack of enthusiasm.
Contrary to what Kenshin is thinking, I really don't want to get married. I may have been tempted at first but this is not what I want. First of all, I want to marry someone whom I love and who loves me back. Second, I want to marry at a rightful age where I know that I'm really ready for that huge step. Right now, Kenshin and I are too young. Third, I'm scared of what will happen to the future once this pushes through. Fourth, I'm not yet satisfied with myself and I have yet to explore my options on my own.
That is why I confronted my parents right after my conversation with Kenshin two nights before. I told my parents that I don't want to get married and that Kenshin hates me because of what they are doing. How did they respond?
They threatened me.
Aside from using Tomoe, my own parents threatened me that they will prevent Misao from getting a scholarship for Tokyo University.
I was shaking with anger as soon as they told me that. How can they do that? Misao has been very kind to them and they know how much Misao dreamed ever since she was young to become a successful doctor who graduated from Toudai. She can't afford to go to college without a scholarship because her family is not exactly well off. And when my parents say that they will prevent Misao from reaching her dreams, they will do it without hesitation.
So what can we do now? Tomoe and Misao are now in the line here so that leaves us with no choice.
They say that what they are doing is for the best and that this is for our future. They say that nothing really big will change and we can still continue with our lives; go to school, go to college just like we are single people. As for our relationship, they say that eventually, we will get along and everything will work out.
My parents have never been so irrational… until now.
I gave them a very silent treatment ever since that night. I was very angry and I don't trust myself to talk civilly to them for a while so I choose to keep silent to avoid saying something worse that will be destructive to my relationship with my parents.
But what's the point? Even though I give them the silent treatment forever, nothing will change their minds. That is why I don't see the sense in keeping up with being cold towards them any longer.
"Kaoru-chan?" My mother entered my bedroom where I am currently watching TV. "Someone is here to see you. It's your French tutor Enishi."
"Enishi is here?" I echoed surprised. Due to my preoccupation during the past two weeks, I had hardly given any thought to my friend. Jumping up from my bed, gathering my French materials from my study table— I ran past through my mother and hurried downstairs.
I totally forgot about my French lessons.
I found Enishi sitting on our usual spot— cross-legged on the floor beside our Japanese low table positioned in the middle of the living room— where our maid is already serving him his tea. "Konnichi wa Enishi-kun." I greeted him with feigned cheerfulness. Somehow, I am hoping that going on with my lessons can help me get my mind off things.
"Hey there. How was your vacation? Was it fun?" My good friend inquired giving me a faint smile.
How would you exactly say 'it was the most horrible vacation in my life' in just one word? "Uh yeah, it was…okay."
Then we proceeded with our French lessons.
Part of the reason why I'm learning the language is a small part of me is hoping to study culinary in France. Even though I know that my parents would not let me, there is still some part of me that is holding on to my dream.
However, now that I have learned that I'm getting married, the 30 possibility before slipped down to 0 making it impossible for me to study out of this country.
I handed my exercises to Enishi for checking but he did not reach out to receive them. He seems a little distracted for he has that faraway look in his face that indicates he is physically present but mentally somewhere else. "Enishi-kun, are you okay?"
He gave out a sigh and reached out his hand to get something from his bag. Inside, he retrieved an elegant white and light blue colored envelope and slowly pushed it on the table, sliding it towards my direction. "We received this almost two weeks ago. I must say I am quite shocked to find its contents."
I let my eyes trail over to that familiar envelope knowing exactly what it is for. Light blue and white— the chosen motif for my wedding; it's the wedding invitation to my wedding that is housing inside that envelope.
"You're getting married? On Wednesday?" Despair and disbelief is very evident in his voice.
So that is why he is in a sullen mood today.
I bit my lip at a loss for words. Just when I thought I had a shot at having a normal afternoon with Enishi, I didn't realize that their family might be invited because his parents are close friends of my mother. "Will you come?"
Instead of answering he asked, "Why are you consenting with this?"
"I have no choice. Our parents decided for us." Not to mention they blackmailed us into agreement.
"But you have a choice!" He grabbed his bag and thrust his hand inside once again. He pulled out a white folder and handed it to me.
Curious, I took it and flipped through the papers inside. My eyes widened as my mind registered the words written in French and the colorful pictures designing the different brochures and forms. It's an application form for a culinary school in Paris, my dream culinary school to be exact. During one of our sessions, I told him during a brief moment that I would like to study in a famous culinary school in Paris; I never thought that he would remember. "Enishi, these are— how did you get them?"
He gave me a shy smile. "I called my friends in France and asked me to send them those forms."
My hands trembled as a read through the pages. I can almost imagine myself, eyes big with wonder and longing as I hold the forms that will lead me to the first step of desired profession. All I have to do is fill out these forms, mail them and let fate decide if the school will accept me or not.
However, I don't think I have the freedom to do that.
"Enishi-kun, as much as appreciate all of your trouble for getting these for me, I don't think I can go ahead and chase my dream now." I closed the folder with a heavy heart and handed it back to my friend. "I can't, I gave them my word."
Pushing it back to my direction, he clasped my hands tightly. "Kaoru, keep it. If not for you, at least for me. As long as you have that, I still have a chance. Please don't get married out of obligation. Please don't take away my chance of winning your heart just when I'm starting to do so."
Just how easy things will become if I will marry Enishi instead of Kenshin. With Enishi, I never have to worry about getting hurt or being hated because I know that he cares about me. Although, if things happened that way, I think I will be hurt too because my heart is with Kenshin. Nonetheless, things would have been less complicated because I can always hide my feelings and shut them out.
Why can't Kenshin like me instead of Enishi?
If that happens, I'll be the happiest girl in the world.
I bit my lip as I worked up the courage to say my next words. "Gomen ne Enishi-kun, I really appreciate your worries and concern for me but please give up on me. Gomen nasai."
May 14. A very significant event will take place during that day that will forever change the course of our lives. It is a date that I would never forget for the rest of my being.
The day was bright and sunny. The skies above are reflecting a clear blue color and despite the warm sunshine; a soft but cool breeze is blowing lightly giving the people a refreshing feeling. Here in the shrine, the trees are in full bloom creating a very picturesque scene of green leaves looming over the heads of the people present. It was a perfect day for a wedding.
I stepped out of our car, holding out my hand to my father for support. Everyone looked at my direction as soon as I came in his or her full view. I shyly looked down and sauntered towards the direction of the Shinto shrine where the traditional wedding ceremony will be performed. As the bride, I'm wearing the traditional white wedding kimono called "Uchikake" and the white hood called the "Tsuno Kakuashi", which in legend says that it is used to cover the bride's horns, portraying obedience to her husband. My face covered by a pale make-up, lips coated in deep red and my straight black hair is arranged in an intricate Japanese hairstyle that is placed up by pins and sticks. Though I may look beautiful, I feel really uncomfortable because of the heavy weight of my outfit and the unbearable nervousness because of what is about to occur.
My parents greeted several of the people waiting outside, most of them congratulating me and saying how beautiful I look. I only gave them a bow and thanked them politely with a smile. If they only knew how torn up I am inside…
My groom's family went here in the shrine earlier than us so when we headed towards the shrine entrance, Kenshin, Akira and his parents are already waiting by the steps leading to the entrance. My eyes focused on Kenshin who is wearing a gray hakama, black gi, black haori and his scarlet hair tied back in a high pony tail. He may physically look handsome and composed as he stood there waiting for the start of the ceremony but if one would look deeper into his soul, this day for him must be synonymous to his time of judgment. Deep inside he must be seething with hatred and anger.
I took my groom's offered hand, as soon as we reached them, avoiding to look at his eyes. A moment after, the seven of us climbed up the steps of the shrine, a hymn of traditional music playing slowly in the background.
The usual events happening in a traditional Japanese wedding ceremony occurred like a scene from an old Japanese film. First the purification service held by the priest. After that is the reading of oaths prepared by our parents, pledging to be faithful and obedient to each other all throughout the marriage. Then followed the most important act of all, the "San-San-Kudo" or the three times three exchange of nuptial cups that will bind the two of us in marriage.
I felt my throat tighten as I watched Kenshin took the last and the biggest sake cup I have filled and took his last three sips indifferently and unemotionally as if he is just taking shots from a nearby bar. I fought the tears threatening to fall down my eyes as I took the cup from him and took the last three sips.
Akira handed to each of us a wedding ring that we will put in each other's left ring finger. Kenshin hurriedly slipped the platinum band with a single diamond on my finger and I did the same to him. The last act ended right after we offered twigs of "Sakaki" to the sacred tree and sips of sake exchanged between our families that signify the union of the Himura and the Kamiya family through this marriage. From then on, my name is Himura Kaoru.
I was literally forcing my lips to stretch into a smile as we took pictures and went down the shrine to be congratulated by our guests waiting downstairs. It was a blur and I could not exactly remember what I said or what I did. What I remember clearly is as soon as Kenshin, my mother and I went inside the bridal car, which will take us to the reception area; I immediately burst into tears, uncaring if my make-up is getting ruined. What is a ruined make-up compared to a broken heart?
It was so surreal, like Kenshin and I are only playing a part on a traditional drama. It was too mechanical, too emotionless, and too cold— on his part at least. To him, those are just acts and words that don't really mean anything. Kenshin and I may have been married but that union has brought us farther apart from each other than I could ever imagine.
That day instilled a separation of hearts between the two of us.
I was so tired, physically and emotionally, that is why I was so grateful when the last of our guests approached us and said their goodbyes. The wedding reception was solemn, happy and grand on the outside but very uneventful for Kenshin and myself. We hardly spoke to each other and only exchanged a few words when necessary.
"Do you want to go to your hotel rooms now? You look like you need to rest," my mother suggested as she smoothed as hair on the side of my face.
"Yes, I would like that very much." I answered in an exhausted voice.
Then, my parents, in-laws and Kenshin went inside the elevator to go up to our rooms in the 21st floor of this very posh hotel.
"I do hope you gave us separate rooms," Kenshin said in an aloof voice all of a sudden breaking the silence between the occupants of the elevator. I get the feeling that he has been pondering about it for a while just like I am.
"Kenshin," Uncle Seijiro bellowed in a warning tone, reminding him not to cross any boundaries that will place everyone in a very awkward position.
As usual, Kenshin did not act threatened at the least. "What? You don't expect us to have sex on our wedding night do you? But my wife, if you really want to do it, I can make some time if you want."
"Stop it Kenshin!" His mother ordered.
My blood boiled and I really really wanted to punch him, slap him— anything just to hurt him, to tear him into pieces. If only our parents are not surrounding us I would have done those things. It is during moments like these that I suddenly question myself, why the hell am I in love with this guy? Yes, I may love him but I would never ever sleep with him. "Damn you! I will never sleep with you!"
Before my husband had the chance to retort back or for me to go on cursing him; my mother intervened and spoke up. "Unfortunately, we did not get you separate rooms but there are two beds in there. We don't expect you two to do it if that is what you're worried about." And then she handed us both a hotel card key as we stepped out of the elevator.
I did not even bother to say good night and I stomped to "our" room, went inside, grabbed my bag and occupied the bathroom even before Kenshin has the chance to get inside.
I don't want to see him.
Looking at the huge mirror, I leaned both of my hands on the sink, trying to calm my raging nerves. That impudent! To assume that I'm dying to sleep with him! "Mou!"
Why is he acting like the worst of all jerks? Can't he see that it is hard on me too?
After taking a bath and I have finally changed into my sleeping clothes, I stepped out of the bathroom and saw Kenshin already changed into his denim jeans and a black shirt with his hair still tied in that high pony tail. "Are you going out?"
"None of your business," he replied curtly as he bent down and arranged his shoes. I watched him from my bed as he placed his wallet and his phone on his jeans pocket then he pulled off his wedding ring from his left ring finger and toss it carelessly on the bedside table. Then without a single word he left.
Once again I felt the sadness wash over me. Will he treat me like trash forever? Is this how everything is going to work? Because if that is the case, then the first night down and an eternity to go… an eternity to break my heart.
AN: So……… how is the 7th chapter? Are you guys satisfied with their wedding? My heart is really going out to poor Kaoru…
I hope you are not too bored with this chapter… you know… with all the angst and the drama. Don't worry; the following chapters will be more exciting!
Please tell me what you think! Or do you have any suggestions? Please leave your reviews! Your reviews are really making me happy and keeping me inspired… I love you guys!
