CHAPTER 20

A/N: Thanks to BizzleB90, Olivia, May1217, valuchavr, kelenhermitha, Berrylucky5 and the Guests for their reviews as well as those who sent me private messages. In this chapter, I will cover what happens while Brittany is in Hawaii, mainly from Santana's POV but sometimes you can get a sense of what Brittany thinks through her phone interactions with Santana.


ON THE NEXT MORNING - AT HOME

I have just woken up after having the worst night ever. I basically cried myself to sleep, holding Brittany's pillow… And this time I didn't even have my sweet Sofia to keep me company. As I turn over, I immediately see the empty side of the bed where Brittany should be. I can't help but think that this is a glimpse of what my life could become if I don't manage to save my marriage… I would go home to an empty house and to an empty bed… And I would probably only see my daughter every other week or so… I can't stand those dark thoughts but that scenario is unfortunately a very real possibility and I still don't know how the fuck I'm going to prevent this…

At least I'm going to spend the whole day at Paramount today. I'm really looking forward to it because I can't stop thinking about Brittany and I really could use a distraction.


LATER THAT DAY – AT QUINN AND PUCK'S

After a pretty long day at Paramount, I drop by Quinn and Puck's house. Brittany and I have kept our marital problems to ourselves until now but I really really need to speak to someone about all this…

I end up telling everything to Q and Puck: the "baby fight" with Britt, how she went to Hawaii without me and how terrified I am that she might ask for a divorce when she comes back.

"What?!" Quinn says, shocked. "How long has this been going on?"

"I don't know… about a month…" I whisper.

She reaches out to grab my hand and holds it tight but she remains silent. Puck locks eyes with mine for a brief moment but he doesn't say a word either.

"Guys… say something, please…" I plead, out of despair.

"I… I don't even know what to say, San…" Quinn replies. "I had no idea that you and Britt were going through something like this... I'm trying to wrap my head around it…"

We all stay in silence for a little while, exchanging sad looks.

"I don't think that she will let go, Q… She really wants that kid…" I whisper, shaking my head. "Am I an awful person because I don't want another one?"

"Of course not, Santana… You're not an awful person!" She states, looking straight into my eyes. "Some people don't even want children… There is no right or wrong choice here. You're completely allowed to have your own opinion and it's just as valid as Britt's… And honestly, I completely understand both sides… I just hope that you eventually agree on an option together because… you're Santana and Brittany, for God's sake! If you two don't make it, who will?" She adds.

"Can I say something, Lopez?" Puck suddenly asks. "Even though you will not like it…"

God knows that I would be the first one to tell Puckerman to shut up but I really need other people's perspective on this so I silently nod, to invite him to talk.

"You can't underestimate this whole thing, there is a real risk for you to lose your wife… I'm serious, I have seen this before! Whenever a chick really wants a kid, she's going to get it! One way or another… And if Britt wants a baby this bad and can't have it with you… she's going to look into other options! And… they all suck for you, Lopez! Best case scenario: she goes alone to that fertility clinic and gets preggo but as you don't want that kid, I can only assume that you two will break up. Worst case scenario: as Britt is also into men and is definitely mother material…" He says before taking a pause. "… You know just like me that she won't have any problem finding one that wants to knock her up and raise the baby with her…"

I look down at my hands because I know that he has a point. When I find the courage to look up and meet Quinn's eyes, I can tell that she is very concerned.


LATER THAT NIGHT – AT QUINN AND PUCK'S

Quinn told me to spend the night at their place and I gladly accepted her offer. My house doesn't even feel like home without my girls... As I get into bed, I check my phone. Brittany has given me access to her Hawaii pictures and apparently, they all went to the beach for the first time today… I smile big at one of the pictures that she took of Sofia. My baby girl is truly the cutest with her green swimsuit, her little hat and her baby sunglasses… I scroll through a few pictures of my kid with her grandparents until I see that one picture of Brittany on the beach, carrying our daughter on her shoulders, both of them laughing. I wish I was with them… I should be there with them, how did we even get here…?

And why is Britt so damn sexy in a bikini…


ONE WEEK LATER – AT HOME

I check my watch and grab my tablet to call Brittany. It's time for my video chat with Sofia and I'm really looking forward to it, I miss my daughter so much.

"Hi San!" Brittany says as she picks up the video call.

"Hi Britt!" I reply.

"I will go get Sofia soon but she's not ready yet…" She says. "My mom is finishing giving her a bath. We stayed on the beach longer than usual so we are a bit late on schedule today. I'm sorry…"

"That's fine, Britt. I can wait… Thanks for the pictures by the way, you took some great shots of Sofia!"

"I know, right? We always use my dad's new camera now, it really takes amazing pictures! But I also saw some interesting shots on your side! A selfie with Julia Peterson?! How did you run into her?"

"Oh… well, Julia is actually guest starring on Glee, thanks to Lee. I'm sorry, I just realized that I didn't even get the chance to tell you since... we have not really been talking much in the last few weeks… But she will appear for at least five episodes this season, possibly more. Quinn and I created a whole new character just for her, she's playing this badass vocal coach from a rival Glee club. She's absolutely a-ma-zing! I'm sure the audience will love her!"

"Wow, Julia Peterson on Glee… That's going to boost the ratings for sure… So… I guess you are getting along then, it looked like you were in a pub when you took that selfie?"

"Yeah, she's really cool! Everyone loves her on set! And since she's originally from Canada, she doesn't know anyone in L.A… So I took her for drinks after work, to that modern pub nearby Paramount. We went once there, do you remember?"

As Brittany doesn't reply or even moves on screen, I frown, wondering if the connection has broken down.

"Britt?" I ask, to double check if she's still on the call.

"You know that she's gay, right?" She suddenly says in a cold way.

"Huh… I actually did not know that…" I reply, surprised. "How come you know that?"

"Because there was a documentary about her on TV a few weeks ago. She is openly lesbian and she even admitted being a seductress."

"O-kay…" I say, not really knowing what to reply. "Well I don't know anything about that, we didn't discuss her sexual orientation."

"Are you really going to tell me that... that lesbian womanizer would go out for drinks with a hot Latina and NOT flirt with her?" She says with a sarcastic tone that I don't often hear from her.

Before I can reply, she adds: "I hope you remember that you're still married, Santana."

That last comment sets me off. She really has some nerves!

"That's rich coming from you, Brittany." I reply, completely pissed. "Do you remember that you're still married? Because you know, married people do not fly 2500 miles away from their wife!"

"Well clearly you are making the most of my absence! I have barely left that you already go out with a promiscuous lady lover?!" She replies, looking outraged.

"I went out with a COLLEAGUE, Britt! Nothing happened! And you're one to talk! Who's that guy on your pictures?"

"What guy?" She asks, frowning.

"What guy, seriously? Why, is there more than one?" I reply. "That fucker with the blue shorts who was sitting on the beach next to MY wife and MY baby!"

"That's just Patrick, Santana!" She says. "He is our neighbour here, that's his kids that you can see on the pictures with Sofia."

"The neighbour!" I repeat sarcastically. "And what does Patrick's wife think of her husband hanging out with you on the beach?" I ask.

"He's divorced actually but…"

"Oh he's divorced and he has two children?" I cut her off. "Great! Between the two of you, that already makes three kids, maybe he would be up for making a fourth one with you and then you can have the big family you have always wanted!"

We both fall silent, noticing how quickly that conversation has escalated.

"Santana…" She suddenly says in a calmer tone.

"Look, Brittany... You wanted space, didn't you? So maybe we shouldn't chat like this. The only reason I called is Sofia. So can I please speak to my daughter now?" I ask, clenching my jaws.

"Fine… Let me get our daughter for you." She replies, looking as angry as me.


A FEW DAYS LATER – AT THE PUB

I down my glass, my third in 20 minutes.

"So it looks like your goal for tonight is… to get completely wasted…?" Naya asks me, with a questioning frown.

"Exactly." I simply reply, waving at the bartender to get another drink.

"Woman trouble?" She asks.

"I would say so… considering that I will probably lose my woman." I sadly reply, looking at the glass in my hand.

"OK... Lay it all on me, Lopez." She says.

As I turn to her, I spot the benevolent look in her eyes and her usual comforting smile. She gives me an encouraging nod and I find myself telling her everything.

"Wow… I really didn't expect…that…" She says with open eyes once I stop talking.

"I know…" I reply. "I still can't believe it myself so…"

I take a sip from my drink before adding: "You know that ironically, in just a few weeks, it would be 10 years that Brittany and I are together… and 5 years that we are married…"

"Impressive…" She comments, pouting her lips in admiration. "You married young actually, now that I think of it…"

"I guess, yeah… But Brittany was… the one!" I shrug. "I just couldn't wait to be married to her so I proposed… And our wedding actually took place much later than planned… Because we went on tour with Mercedes in between, and also moved to L.A…"

I take another sip before adding: "But you know what the worst part is? Brittany has been by my side for so long and through so many important moments… that I actually wouldn't even know how to live my life without her… I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do if she decides to break up with me…"

"Ok but she might not break up with you!" Naya says. "For now she's just taking some time to think. And it's probably for the best! Based on what you said, you both reacted in an emotional way to that whole baby issue… maybe some time apart will help you look at this in a more… rational way? And if it really comes to breaking up, you can always fight for her…"

"Yes, I could fight for her but I'm not sure to win, Naya… Even as her wife, how can I outweigh her wish for a baby…" I comment, shaking my head. "It's kind of…" I trail off, catching the glimpse of a familiar figure sitting right behind her, observing me. As I recognize the snarky smile, I immediately feel my anger building up. Without saying a word, I suddenly get up and walk towards the individual. I feel Naya's eyes following me, probably wondering what is happening.

"Well… Hello Santana!" James says, his sarcastic smile getting increasingly bigger.

"Do you use a tracking device or what?" I say in an angry tone. "Why are you always around me wherever I go?"

"I told you before, I have family over here. It's summer time, I'm just on vacation."

"Right, and how the fuck do I get rid of you once for ALL, James?"

"Oh you're James?" Naya suddenly asks, with a disapproving look.

"I am. Who are you, her sister?" He asks, looking back and forth between Naya and me.

"I'm her friend." She replies, crossing her arms and staring at him.

"How much did you hear?" I ask him.

"Every word of it…" He replies with a sufficient smile. "That was some very interesting stuff, Santana. Maybe I should get back in touch with Brittany... It sounds like she might need a shoulder to cry on."

"Absolutely not! This time, you're going to stay the fuck away from my wife!" I angrily say, clenching my jaw.

"Let's just see how much longer she will actually stay married to you. That's a real bummer that baby fight!" He replies sarcastically. "Fortunately, Brittany can find someone else that would give her the child that you refuse to have. Like me for instance!" He adds with a smile. "And unlike you, I could actually get her pregnant…"

The thought of Brittany carrying that guy's baby makes me snap and I find myself slapping him hard across the face. The impact almost makes him fall from his seat, I didn't even know I could put so much force into a slap... Despite holding his hand to his cheek in disbelief, he smiles at me, obviously proud of making me upset.

"Listen to me, asshole…" I say, pointing my index at his face. "I let you get into my head in the past but no more! Since you have no shame eavesdropping on my conversation with my friend, you have probably heard me say that Brittany and I have been together for 10 years! TEN YEARS during which I have been her best friend, her lover, her wife! I gave her a daughter! Next to that, you mean absolutely nothing!" I add.

"Yeah, all of that is great." He says with a smirk. "If only you were not also the person who denies her wish to carry a child! I would not underestimate that, Santana. You will see how quickly you can go back to being nothing."

"And then what, James? Even if she breaks up with me, you're a fool if you think you would have a shot with Brittany. You completely disrespected her marriage when you tried to get between me and her, you tried to break her family for fuck's sake! That's something that she will never forgive you for!"

He shrugs before saying: "Well, I told you the last time we met in New York that I would cease the opportunity if your marriage ever was in trouble, Santana. And for the sweet, loving Brittany to actually go all the way to Hawaii and leave her wife behind… it definitely sounds like your marriage is in BIG trouble. I could be the caring thoughtful friend she needs. And if I was the one to make Brittany's wish come true and get her pregnant, I'm pretty sure that she would forgive me for whatever meaningless things from the past."

I laugh. "But you will never get her pregnant, James. Because you will never have sex with her!" I say, getting closer to his face, in a threatening way.

"If she's no longer with you, you wouldn't get a say in who she has sex with. You realise that, right?" He asks.

"And you think that would stop me? Over my dead body!" I say, staring into his eyes. "I will literally crush your nuts before you can even touch her. And believe me, once I'm done with you, you will be incapable of ever impregnating anyone!"

"I think you should leave, James." Naya suddenly says, gently placing her hand flat on my back, most likely to calm me down. "Otherwise I will let her take her anger out on you."

"Yeah?" He laughs. "You know that I could already press charges for that slap she gave me." He says, turning to Naya.

"I know the owner of this pub very well, he's a close friend of mine." Naya replies. "And since I'm here, that makes me a witness. Guess who the owner and I are going to back up in case you involve the cops?" She asks.

He clenches his jaw, staring back at her to see if she's bluffing. After a few seconds, he leaves without a word.

"I'm sorry that you had to see that…" I whisper to Naya as we go back to our seats. "I didn't mean to make a scene."

"Oh please, don't apologize!" She says, squeezing my hand. That jerk had it coming! I'm totally impressed by the way, Lopez. You see, you stood up for your wife. Brittany is a very lucky girl…"

"I don't know if she's lucky…" I reply with a sad tone. "She's married to someone who refuses to give her what she wants…" I add, tears quickly filling my eyes.

She pulls me into a tight hug and keeps holding me in her arms until I calm down.

"Come on…" She says. "You could use another drink..."


ON THE NEXT DAY – AT HOME

I'm still hungover even though I slept all day long. But it's time to talk to my baby girl so I pick up my tablet to call Brittany.

"Hi San." She says, appearing on my screen.

"Britt…" I reply.

Our conversations have been quite cold since that fight we had on the phone the other day.

"You look like shit... Did you get drunk?" She asks.

"Thanks for the compliment." I reply in an irritated tone. I'm really in no mood for this.

"Can you please put a damn shirt on?" I ask.

"What?" She frowns.

"Your boobs are fucking distracting, why on earth do you have to wear a bikini when you pick up my calls?"

"Because we just came back from the beach and it's really hot here! You will survive, Santana. It's nothing you have not seen before."

"Well, it's not like I got to see them a lot lately!" I reply with a frustrated voice. "We had sex once in something like two months! And that only happened because of the 'away ritual', otherwise I still could wait!"

"Well, I'm sure that your friend Julia would be more than happy to tend to your sexual needs." She replies.

"Can you please drop that nonsense?" I say, raising my voice. "I already told you that nothing is going on between me and Julia! And if anyone should take care of my sexual needs, it should be my wife! But I guess I was wrong for thinking that there is no dry spell when you're married."

"And I guess I was wrong for thinking that I would have several kids when I married you. Life is full of disillusion, isn't it?"

"What does that even mean, Brittany? You wouldn't have married me if you knew that we would have only one child?" I ask.

"I…huh…" She mumbles, unsure of what to reply.

"Great. As always, it was lovely chatting with you, Britt! I want to speak to Sofia now."


ONE WEEK LATER - AT HOME

I'm watching TV at home, when my phone suddenly rings. Brittany's picture and the word "WIFEY" appear on my screen.

"Britt, is everything alright? Is Sofia OK?" I ask, worried.

"Everyone is fine, San. I just needed to talk to you about something."

"I thought that we agreed not to talk when you were in Hawaii." I comment.

"Well, we need to discuss this! Listen, my parents would like to fly to L.A. with me and Sofia instead of going back to Lima. They were supposed to come soon to Los Angeles for their annual visit anyway so they think that it would be more convenient like that. Would that be OK?"

"Yeah, of course... It's fine." I reply.

I wonder what that means for us though. Will Brittany pretend that everything is fine while they are here? Has she told them anything about our fight?

"OK, great, thanks. We will book their flights then. When will your parents come by the way?"

"Huh... they are supposed to land in L.A. three days after you come back…" I reply.


A FEW DAYS LATER – AT HOME

After hearing some noise outside, I glance through the window and see Brittany taking Sofia out of the cab while her parents are getting the luggage.

As soon as I open the front door, Sofia sees me and Brittany lets her run towards me.

"Maaamaaaaa!" She says, making me smile like a crazy person.

I take her in my arms and hug her tight. "Hi mija! Oh God I have missed you so much you don't even know! Let me look at you, baby! You got so big! And cuter than ever!" I add, giving her a kiss.

As Brittany walks towards me, I'm not sure how to greet her. It has been so tense between us lately that I don't know what would be appropriate or acceptable to her. I stay frozen in my spot until she gives me a peck on the lips, probably because her parents are there. I actually feel a bit intimidated when she pulls away and her blue eyes meet mine. Fortunately, I am quickly distracted by her mom engulfing me into a hug while her dad kisses my cheek.

"It's great to see you, dear." Whitney says, still crushing my bones.

"You too, Whitney!" I reply. "Did you have a nice trip?" I ask no one in particular.

"I'm still not a fan of flying, but it was good, thank you." Whitney replies. "Where do we put our luggage, honey?"

"Huh… In the downstairs guest room, it's all set for you." I reply.


LATER THAT DAY – AT HOME

After having dinner all together, I put Sofia to bed and read her a story. I couldn't be happier to have my little girl back home. Brittany and I spent the rest of the night chatting with her parents in the living room.

Later, as Britt gets into bed next to me, I suddenly feel uncomfortable. I don't know how I'm supposed to behave… We have not got any chance to speak about us. At least, she's sleeping in our bed but again… that might just be because her parents are here.

"Britt…" I whisper.

"Yeah?" She replies, turning to me.

I sigh. "You… huh… you said you needed to go to Hawaii to think … So have you… made a decision…?" I ask, with worried eyes.


A/N: To quickly react to what you said in your previous reviews/messages: I still don't have the full picture at this stage, therefore it's still very difficult for me to write but I'm trying my best. I hope you enjoyed this chapter nevertheless. Santana's reasons for not having another child are not just related to her busy job. I have put some hints already in the previous chapter but I will explore this further in the next chapter. And I will also tell more about why Brittany insists so much for having another one. Their families will be there with them in the next chapter.

Anyway... any reviews, reactions on the following:

- James and Naya both returned in this chapter, any thoughts on that?
- What do you think about the tension between Santana and Brittany and what was said on the phone?
- According to you, has Britt made a decision? If so, which one?