HEARTS DIVIDED: A Funeral
by tarskeewee08
Evangeline
Wiping her face she listens as the preacher prays over the casket. Kevin's casket is black and shiny with silvery posts on all corners. She smiled to herself at how handsome he looked before they lowered the lid at the church and dragged him here.
She feels Vicki slip her arm around her pulling her close and stiffens. She doesn't want comfort, she wants her husband.
Stifling another outburst of tears and hysteria she swallows her pain and looks up to the sky. The dark round shades she wears allows her to look directly into the sun. It's like a large glowing ball of light through warmth over her and her cold heart.
She feels the wind caress her face carrying her tears away with it. Her hair blowing away from her she closes her eyes and pretends the light touch is Kevin's.
She can see his sly smile and his dark beckoning eyes. He has his hand outstretched to her the way he did when she was pouting and refusing his embrace to get her way. Sighing she reaches for it and a wave of relief washes over her. He's not dead this was all some horrible practical joke. Her baby never left her.
"Evangeline…" Vikki whispers in her ear.
Opening her eyes she sees that she actually had her hand outstretched in front of her toward nothing.
Her bottom lip quivers again and she starts to shake. The reality that her husband lay dead and cold less than 10 feet in front of her makes her stomach clench. Vicki rubs her back and Jessica gets up coming to her and hugging her. There are people standing in dark blacks and blues around the six chairs holding the Buchanan family. She can't bare to face them but as they go to drop roses on his casket she feels a multitude of hands touch her shoulders reassuringly.
"I want him back.." she whimpers.
Jessica kneels to her level and moves her hair from her face "Of course you do sweetie, we all do."
"I can't do this….I'm not strong enough Jessie.."
"Yes you are." She says grabbing her chin forcing her to look into her face. "He loved you so much Van. It would kill him if you gave up."
Hearing Vikki now sobbing in Clint's arms she closes her eyes and nods. She keeps her eyes closed as the casket is lowered. Ashes to Ashes and Dust to Dust rings in her ears and she puts both her hands up to force the sound of it away. Jessica rises and rubs her back. Finally gaining some sense of control she opens her eyes to see Joey and Clint carrying Vikki away as others walk to their cars.
"Do you want me to stay with you?"
Jessica asks.
"No. I need to say goodbye. Can you leave me a
driver" I say weakly
"Of course sweetie." Jessica says
bending and kissing he tear streaked face "I love you, take all the
time you need."
Evangeline nods and watches her walk away her blonde hair blowing around her shoulders she too has on her Christian Dior shades to mask the pain and sorrow in her eyes. Kevin was so protective of her.
"Evangeline.."
Turning around she sees Dr. Spencer Truman dressed in black. She didn't know he came to the funeral. Rising from her chair she extended her hand. "Dr. Truman thanks for coming to pay your respects."
He smiles and nods. "I'm actually here for another funeral"
Evangeline frowns and looks in the direction of where he's pointing. In her grief she had forgotten that Kelly Cramer was killed. She sees Dorian wrapped in the arms of David from distance and understands her pain. "I am so sorry, Kelly was a beautiful person. Please give Dorian and the Cramer's my condolences."
Spencer nods and touches my shoulder. "I got your message..."
Evangeline removes her shades. "I want to
go ahead with it right away."
"I think you may want to think
on it…I mean you have a lot to consider."
"NO! My husband is dead. I need to have a part of him. I need to make sure he lives on. I want to be inseminated. I want to carry his child!"
Spencer looks her up and down and is reminded of how strikingly beautiful she is. She has on a black wrap dress that stops at her knees. The tie around makes the material carve out her curves and reveals how flat and tiny her waist is. Her breast and round and sit up in the dress causing his eyes to linger.
"When can we start?" Evangeline snaps noting the disgusting way he looked at her.
"I'll need you to come in to my office for a gynecological work up. I'm sure it will be fine but it's necessary."
Evangeline rolls her eyes at the thought of him performing the exam but he is the best in Llanview. She was desperate to have a baby. Their baby. "Fine I will be there" she says putting her shades back on. "Please excuse me I have to say goodbye o my husband. And again tell your family that I am sorry for their loss."
Spencer watches her turn on her 2 inch heels and walk over to the whole in the ground where her husband lay. Maybe after some time blows over he will ask her out. Walking away he smiles. That would be nice.
Evangeline looks down at the casket. She walked over to the dirt mound and scooped some in her hands. Throwing some in she let more tears slide down her face. "I love you Kevin" she says weakly.
Sighing she walks away from his grave to the waiting car. The driver stands outside of the car patiently and Evangeline straightens her back and throws her head back. She would move on for them both. But she would do it with his child.
The driver opens the door as she approached and she climbs inside the shade of the stretch limo leaving the love of her life behind.
John
John looks up and sees an attractive woman walking from a gravesite in the distance to a stretch limo. Her silky black hair blowing in the wind. He wonders if she wants to die too.
Hearing Dorian moan he looks to his left and sees David rocking her. He hasn't cried since he found his baby, both of them on the side of the road.
Something in him broke. Now he was angry. Angry at god. Angry at the world. He hated life. Clenching his fist he listened to the minister talk about the divine order of things and resisted the urge to walk over and punch him in the mouth.
What on earth is so divine about a 7 month pregnant woman dieing in a brutal car crash. His wife and baby snatched from him for no godly reason. How is that divine? Closing his eyes he can actually feel his heart turning to stone in his chest. He will never love again. He will never have a life without her. She was it for him.
Feeling a hand on his shoulder he opens his eyes to look into the face of Dr. Truman.
"John, I am so sorry for your loss. You know how I felt about Kelly"
John's anger won't allow him to respond he shakes his shoulder knocking off Spencer's hand and rolls his eyes. He doesn't want sympathy, he wants his lady back! He wants his life back! The he hears it Ashes to Ashes and Dust to Dust and he wants to scream.
His heat pounds and he begins to shake from his rage. The funeral director walks over and kicks the lever at the edge of the casket and he sees it start to lower. They were burying his wife and his child! He wouldn't let them do it! "NOOO!" he shouts rushing the casket. Three of his brothers must have known he would snap because they were all over him before he reached it. "LET ME GO! I WON'T LET YOU TAKE THEM FROM ME! I WON'T LET YOU DO IT!"
Watching the casket continue to sink in the earth as he's being dragged away he bursts into tears for the first time since that awful day and yells at no one in particular. His head is pounding and he feels like every ounce of blood in his body has been drained. His body aches and shakes and he wants so desperately to vomit, His mother and father are over him and Eve is trying to calm her son. She's saying something to him but he keeps screaming and with his eyes closed he barely knows she's near.
Several minutes after his breakdown. He sits stoic in a lawn chair as everyone walks around dropping roses into the ground. He doesn't move or try to address the pain in his heart. His baby brother Michael comes over and kneels in front of him. "We're all going back to LaBlueLai John you ready?"
"No" he says dryly
"Do you want me
to stay with you?"
"No" he says
"Dorian is leaving a
driver for you…." Mike says rising and patting his back them
walking away.
His father Thomas walks over and rubs his head.
"I am so sorry son…I really am"
John doesn't respond he
just looks at the hole in the ground and swallows more of his pain.
He didn't save her. He didn't protect her. He should have never
taken her to Atlanta. He was an idiot!
Thomas pats his back and walks away.
Once alone John gets up and walks over to where his family lay. They were having a boy and his name was going to be Noah. "Noah, I love you" he said tears rolling down his face grabbing some dirt from the mound and dropping it into the hole.
Looking up into the sky he feels the sun on his face and it's like a warm kiss from her. He smiles at the wind that rustles his hair and he's positive she is up there with their son smiling down on him.
"I am sorry baby. I will never forget what we have. I'll never let you go" he says choking on the last of his words.
Grabbing more dirt from the mound he tosses it in for his dead wife. He didn't know what he would do next and doubted seriously he could have a life without her. Sighing deeply he falls to his knees. Slowly putting his hands to his head he broke down in a sob that helped wash away the pain and regret over loosing his entire family.
When he was done he rose to his feet and walked away from a life he was denied vowing never to love again. His anger and bitterness was all he had left and he would hold on to it for dear life!
