CHAPTER 28
A/N: Thanks to Mostories, Olivia, May1217, Lana66 and Berrylucky5 for their reviews, always appreciated! I have to warn you that this is a tough chapter, and it's entirely told from Santana's point of view.
IN THE CAR – ON THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL
"Thank you, Ms Carter…" I say over the phone before hanging up.
"Oh thank God…" I sigh in relief. "Sofia is safe… She's still at daycare." I tell Quinn as she's driving me to the hospital. "Her teacher said that she was about to call me because no one had come to pick her up. Britt must have had the accident on the way there…" I add, having trouble to hold back my tears.
At least, our little girl is OK and I don't have to worry about her…
As I won't be able to go to daycare myself, I decide to call Mercedes and ask her pick up Sofia.
LATER - AT THE HOSPITAL
"Dr Collins is in charge of your wife's case, he will come speak to you shortly." The receptionist says and I just silently nod. I don't have the strength for anything else at this point.
Quinn gently pulls me by the arm, to make me take a seat in the waiting room and sits next to me. She puts her arm around my shoulders to comfort me and even if I appreciate the gesture, all I can feel right now is an endless pit in my stomach.
After what feels like forever, Dr Collins finally comes talking to me, to give me an update on Brittany's condition.
"Your wife is relatively stable but she has not regained consciousness…" He says. "The paramedics that brought her in said that another car hit hers and although most of the airbags deployed, the curtain airbag didn't. She hit the side of her head pretty hard and also has a nasty cut on her forehead."
The more he talks, the more I struggle to breathe, feeling my heart pounding in my chest. I can't stand the idea of Brittany being hurt.
"We ran a head CT…" He adds. "… it didn't reveal any serious damage but she has a concussion."
"Will she… be OK…?" I manage to ask.
"The scans are reassuring but I'm afraid it's too soon to tell… Especially since she's still unconscious… But we will carefully monitor her condition."
I'm squeezing Quinn's hand so hard that I'm pretty sure I must be hurting her.
"And the babies… ?" I ask.
"There is no sign of internal injuries but we have noticed drops in their fetal heart rate…"
I don't understand what that means exactly but somehow, I know that this is not good.
"I can assure you that we are also monitoring them very closely." He adds. "Any pregnancy with twins is considered high risk by default but the accident put extra stress on your wife's body, which increases the risk of premature birth."
"Premature birth…?" I repeat. "But she's only at 22 weeks… Can our babies… even survive if they are born at this stage of her pregnancy?" I ask, worried.
He takes a split second to answer and that's enough for me to understand the seriousness of the situation.
"Although some babies do make it…" He pauses. "… the survival rate for a premature birth at 22 weeks is very low… This is why we will do everything we can to avoid an early delivery. I saw in Brittany's file that Dr Montgomery is her OBGYN so I paged her, she's on her way."
"Thank you…" I whisper but I feel completely heartbroken. I don't know how to process the whole situation. This doesn't even feel real… Life was good! What the fuck happened?
"Can I please see my wife?" I ask Dr Collins.
"Yes, of course. Please follow me." He says, inviting me to walk behind him. I pull Quinn along with me, unaware that I'm still holding her hand tight.
"I'm sorry…" He suddenly says, looking at Quinn. "Only family is allowed."
"She's Brittany's sister." I reply out of nowhere. But I'm not sure it's a lie anyway… Quinn is the closest thing Brittany and I have to a sister.
"Ok…" He says, not questioning it further. "This way, please." He adds, holding the hallway door open for us.
A FEW MINUTES LATER – A THE HOSPITAL
As we enter Brittany's room and I see her laying unconscious in the hospital bed, hooked up to so many monitors, I put my hand over my mouth and immediately start crying. Her face is bruised and swollen on one side, and even though they cleaned and stitched the wound on her forehead, that scar is impressive. Seeing her like this makes me realize that she could have died…
I gently caress her hair before sitting by her bed and bring her hand to my lips, to kiss the back of it.
"I'm here, honey…" I say but I don't even know if she can hear me.
I carefully place my other hand on her stomach and remember what Dr Collins said earlier: drops in the fetal heart rate. As silly as it may sound, I'm pretty sure that our twins must feel that something is off. Usually they hear Brittany's voice and feel her moving around, even dancing – although she has adapted her dancing to her condition as some moves are not recommended. And God knows how unborn babies experience the shock of a car accident and the stress on their mom's body…
Britt always says that the twins recognize my own voice because they usually kick a lot more when I'm around… So maybe I should speak right now… to make them know that I'm here.
"Hi my loves…" I say in my most soothing voice, close to Britt's stomach. "I know that you were shaken up earlier but everything is going to be OK." I add, even though I can't be sure of that. "Mommy is… asleep right now because she needs her rest but mama is here." I say, gently rubbing Brittany's belly.
Despite my best efforts, I can't control my sobbing and I cry harder until I feel Quinn's hand squeezing my shoulder, in an attempt to comfort me.
A LITTLE WHILE LATER – AT THE HOSPITAL
Quinn went out of the room to get me something to drink and I'm watching Dr Montgomery checking on the babies. I'm extremely anxious, especially when I notice the concerned look on her face.
"How are they doing?" I ask.
"Just like Dr Collins said, both babies have decels…" She replies, turning to me. "Baby B a little more than Baby A... Sometimes it's just temporary but it can also be a sign that the twins are unwell… We will monitor this closely but depending on the progression… we might have to perform a c-section and take them out."
"But… Dr Collins said that the survival rate is really low at 22 weeks." I comment, confused. Why on earth would she take them out?
"That's correct…" She replies, staring into my eyes for a moment. "But Santana… you have to understand that if those decels persist, taking them out still gives them a better chance of survival than staying in the womb."
"I… I don't understand…" I say, getting more and more confused.
"The next hours are critical…" She replies with concerned eyes. "If the babies' heart rate goes back to normal, they can remain in the womb. Otherwise, we will have to take them out, there won't be any other choice. But I'm afraid that it's a very risky procedure at 22 weeks… So you should… prepare yourself…"
"Prepare myself?" I say, shocked. "For what?! Are you saying that… our babies could… die?"
She doesn't answer right away and I know what that means.
"No!" I say, suddenly raising my voice and getting agitated. "Dr Montgomery… They have to live! Please… you... you have to get that heart rate under control and find a way to keep them safe in Brittany's womb…"
"Santana…" The Doctor says but I cut her off.
"No, you listen!" I reply in a more assertive way. "When I woke up this morning, I had a happy and healthy wife, a daughter and two babies on the way. Then some fucking jerk hit Brittany's car out of nowhere and now she and the twins are all in critical conditions! And I feel so helpless because I'm not a doctor, it's not in my hands! It's in yours! So please, please save them, I'm begging you…" I add in a desperate tone.
LATER – AT THE HOSPITAL
Quinn is hugging me as tight as she can but I'm inconsolable.
"They don't even know if Britt is going to wake up, Q… But I can't even think about that, otherwise I won't be able to stand…" I say, sobbing. "And the twins… I know that for a long time I was against having more kids but now they are not some hypothetical project anymore! We could even see their faces on the last ultrasound, they are real people!" I add.
"I love them…" I shrug in admission. "And… Britt, she has waited so long to have them… If we lose any of the babies, it would break her!"
"Shhhh…" Quinn says, rubbing my back to comfort me. "You can't lose hope, San... Brittany might be unconscious right now but at least, she is alive! She can come back from this! And there is still hope for your babies too. Hopefully this heart rate issue is just temporary. But even if the doctors end up doing the c-section, it doesn't mean that they will die… I'm sure that your twins will fight the odds, just like their moms always have!" She adds, in the most reassuring tone she can take.
I really hope that Quinn is right… Because I am so desperate right now that I feel close to falling apart. But I don't have that luxury. I have to stay strong for Sofia and the twins, because right now I am all they have…
"It's a boy…" I suddenly whisper as I pull away from her hug. "Baby B... the one that used to hide during the ultrasounds… The Doctor could see it clearly this time… Brittany is carrying two boys… And she doesn't even know it…" I add, sobbing.
A LITTLE WHILE LATER – AT THE HOSPITAL
"Did you manage to reach Brittany's parents?" Quinn asks me.
"Yeah…" I whisper. "I just hung up with them. They are devastated, her mom couldn't stop crying…" I sigh. "They will take the first flight to L.A."
"I can imagine…" Quinn sadly replies. "Can I… do anything, San…? Do you want me to get you something to eat or… make calls…?"
"I'm not hungry…" I reply. "But maybe you could call Mercedes to give her an update and ask her if she can bring Sofia to the hospital? I really need to see my daughter right now… And anyway, I have to tell her what is going on…" I sigh.
She nods and is about to go out of the room when I add: "But Quinn… Please tell Mercedes to wait in the waiting room and call you when she's here, I don't want Sofia to see Britt like this…"
"Of course…" She replies before getting out of the room.
LATER – AT THE HOSPITAL
I'm about to go into the waiting room, as Mercedes and Sofia have arrived. I hope that my little girl won't be able to tell that I cried because I don't want her to worry.
As soon as I enter the waiting room, Sofia runs to me, with a big smile on her face.
"Hi mija!" I say, lifting her in my arms before giving her a kiss.
She gives me a hug while I hold her in my arms and it takes everything I have not to cry right here and now… Not only because of Brittany and the twins' condition, but also because Sofia could have been in that car too… I'm so grateful that she wasn't.
"Te amo mucho!" I whisper, giving her another kiss.
She smiles at me and I do too, for the first time since I got here. She is wearing a duck t-shirt and I chuckle internally. Brittany and I dress Sofia in complete different styles, so different that our friends always can tell who dressed her. And when it's Britt, my kid always ends up with some animal-print t-shirt. I don't even know how much money she spends on those because it feels like Sofia has hundreds of them.
As my daughter gives me another hug, I suddenly spot Mercedes and Sam in the room, with Mike and Tina. Puck is sitting next to Quinn and Artie. They are all here…
"Why are we here, mama?" Sofia suddenly asks me.
I don't know if I'm strong enough to have this conversation but I don't have a choice. And I have to find a way to explain her what happened without traumatizing her. Ironically, Brittany would be so much better than me at this…
"Do you remember when you tripped and cut your chin?" I ask and she nods. "You got a little hurt, so mommy and I brought you here and the doctors made you all better." I add.
"I got stitches!" She comments, proudly.
"That's right, you did!" I reply, forcing myself to have an enthusiastic voice because to her, stitches are like a cool warrior wound. "Well, mija… the reason we are here is because mommy also got… hurt when she was driving the car earlier. The doctors are with her right now, to make her all better…"
"Okay…" She says. "She needs stitches too?" She asks.
"Yes, she does… because she has a cut on her forehead here…" I reply, showing the right spot on my own forehead.
I decide not to tell her anything about the twins' condition because I don't think she would understand. It's already confusing for her to know that Brittany has "babies in her tummy" even though she can't see them.
"Can I give mommy a magic kiss?" She asks.
I should have known that she would ask that. When you spend your time giving magic kisses to heal your child's "boo-boos", they think that it's the solution to everything… If only it was that simple.
"I'm sorry mija, but… little kids like you cannot go in there…" I reply.
She wears a sad pout in response.
"I'll give her one for you, OK?" I add and that seems to ease her a little.
EVEN LATER – AT THE HOSPITAL
"I don't like leaving you alone in here…" Quinn says.
I sent our friends home a while ago, with the promise to let them know as soon as I have news. Quinn is the last one still here.
"It's OK, Quinn… Visiting hours are over, they wouldn't allow it anyway… It's already a miracle that they let me stay with Britt for the night… And that's only because Dr Montgomery pulled some strings. Go home, it's been a long day for you too... And thanks for bringing me the book, by the way."
"You're welcome... But what do you need it for?" She asks, curious.
"Britt reads it to the twins every night…" I reply, looking at the dance book in my hands. "And… I don't know, I think that she would like me to do it if she can't." I sadly reply.
"It's sweet of you…" She says, squeezing my arm. "Call me if you need anything?"
"Yeah… Thanks, Q. For everything... I can't tell you how much that means to me..." I say, hugging her.
LATER – AT THE HOSPITAL
I'm sitting by Brittany's bed and unfortunately, she is still unconscious… Dr Collins ran scans again just to be sure that nothing was missed but they were all clear. He said that there is no obvious reason that would explain why Britt has not woken up yet and I worry more and more... But the doctor said that there is nothing else to do than waiting, we have to see how her condition evolves.
Honouring my promise to our daughter, I gently press my lips on Britt's forehead, to give her a magic kiss. I also give her a soft kiss on the lips… Never know, maybe I can wake up my princess like they do in those Disney movies…
But of course, this is the real world and nothing happens, her beautiful blue eyes remain closed.
I sigh and sit down to read her book out loud to the twins, while caressing her belly. I hope that by maintaining that daily routine, I will manage to give them a sense of normalcy.
A WHILE LATER (LATE AT NIGHT) – AT THE HOSPITAL
Visitors have long gone and the night shift has started at the hospital. Now that it's all quiet - except for the beeping of the monitors - I decide to speak to Britt.
"Hi wifey… I don't know if you can hear me… I hope you can." I whisper. "I miss you…" I say, caressing her hair. "But I'm going to spend the night here with you, Britt. See, even in a hospital, you can't get rid of me…" I say, trying to lighten up my heavy heart.
"Sofia is fine… I think I managed to explain her the situation without making it scary. She's spending the night at Mike and Tina's and I asked them to keep her extra busy, otherwise I know that she will ask to see you… She drew you a panda earlier… It looked really good I must say, I think she is becoming quite talented!" I add, caressing her hand this time. "I called your parents, they will take a flight tomorrow. My parents and Abuela also wanted to come but I told them to stay in Lima… We don't need a crowd here... But they all said that they were thinking of you. Abuela even rallied the whole church to pray for you and the twins..."
"And…" I add. "Baby B finally stopped hiding… We're having two boys, Britt… So now we can focus on boys' names… pretty names of course! Because Abuela's suggestions from this morning were crazy once again! She mentioned Agapito and Arsenio among others, can you believe it?! At this point I wouldn't even allow her to name a pet!"
I hold her hand tighter in mine. "I'm doing my best to keep our sons safe, honey... I make sure that Dr Montgomery does everything she can to keep those babies in your womb, because I'm convinced that it's the safest place for them. They are not ready to come out… And I figured that if I manage to soothe them, maybe those damn decels will stop… It cannot hurt anyway, right?" I sigh. "So I keep talking to your belly… I even alternate between English and Spanish. And I even sang... I'm sure that they must be sick of me by now… They must be thinking 'who is that lady that never shuts up?'..." I chuckle.
I bring her hand to my lips and hold it there for a while, looking at her injured face until silent tears fall down my face.
"I love you..." I whisper. "And I forbid you from dying on me, Brittany Lopez-Pierce! I'm serious! You have to wake up, honey… Our kids… they need you! I need you…" I add, sobbing. "Please, please come back to me…"
ON THE NEXT MORNING – AT THE HOSPITAL
The night was very long… I tried to sleep but I couldn't, not even for one minute. I was too worried about Britt and the twins. I ended up exchanging lots of messages with Naya, who apparently stayed up late. As always, chatting with her, even in writing, was comforting but I'm still completely heartbroken…
Even though the night was uneventful, Brittany is still not awake... I asked a nurse about the twins' condition but she told me that I will have to wait until Dr Montgomery gets here.
Family and friends have been calling me since pretty early this morning, to get an update but at this stage, I have nothing new to say.
A LITTLE WHILE LATER – AT THE HOSPITAL
"Artie and I will take care of things at Paramount…" Quinn says. "And I have asked Puck to pick up Britt's parents at the airport this afternoon and drive them to the hospital. Mercedes said that she will go to your house to prepare the guest room for them…"
"Thanks, Q. But you guys didn't have to do all that." I say.
"You have enough on your plate, San… Accept help when offered, OK?" She replies.
"OK, OK…" I nod. "Thanks…" I say, giving her a small smile.
"I also brought you a change of clothes. Have you seen the doctors yet?" She asks.
"No… not yet…" I sigh.
LATER – AT THE HOSPITAL
Dr Montgomery is finally here, checking on the boys and I feel like I'm holding my breath.
I desperately need some good news… Dr Collins examined Britt earlier this morning but much to my despair, he said that there was no change and he repeated the same speech: there is nothing else to do than waiting and monitoring her.
"Ok…" Dr Montgomery suddenly says, pulling me out of my thoughts. "The number of decels has decreased compared to yesterday, for both babies. I see in their charts that the night went well, they were relatively stable. It's evolving in the right direction." She adds.
I sigh in relief. "Are they out of danger?" I ask.
"Not yet... We have to remain cautious but it's reassuring… It seems that their heartbeat is stabilizing."
LATER THAT DAY – AT THE HOSPITAL
Today is another emotionally difficult day… Our friends have set up a rotating schedule so that at least one of them is always with us. Britt's parents are here too now, but they are completely distressed… I know how shocking it is to see that Brittany is not responsive to anything… But at least her face is healing, it looks better than it did yesterday.
To distract them from their pain for a minute, I tell them that we are expecting two boys and that the twins' condition has significantly improved. That news seems to comfort them a little but almost immediately afterwards, they look just as sad as before.
EVEN LATER THAT DAY - AT THE HOSPITAL
At my request, Tina has brought Sofia to the waiting room, so that her grandparents could see her.
Being her sweet smiling self, Sofia manages to cheer us up a little… And as I am observing my little girl interacting with her grandpa and grandma, I can't help but think that there is so much of Britt in her: the way she smiles, the way she moves, how affectionate she is with everyone…
While Britt's parents are here, I decide to take Sofia out for an ice-cream. I didn't want to leave Britt's side but at least she's not alone and I also have to look after our daughter... But I'm running out of excuses to justify to Sofia why she is not allowed to see her mom… At least, her grandparents will take her home later and will take care of her... I figured that it would do them all some good to be together, especially considering that I will spend another night in this hospital.
ON THE NEXT DAY – AT THE HOSPITAL
While Sofia is at daycare, Brittany's parents and I are discussing with Dr Montgomery.
"I finally have some good news for you…" The doctor says. "Babies no longer have decels… Their heartbeat is back to normal and even strong, so I can confirm that they are now out of danger. We don't need to take them out but we will have to keep monitoring them, especially given Brittany's current condition…" She adds.
"Thank you, Dr Montgomery…" I manage to whisper in relief before hugging Brittany's parents. At least our children are safe now…
But Brittany has been unconscious for two days and the more time passes, the more scared I get.
LATER THAT EVENING – AT THE HOSPITAL
"No, I'm not going anywhere!" I shout, in response to Dr Montgomery. "I can't leave Brittany alone after what happened!"
We have been arguing for a while because Dr Montgomery keeps telling me that I have to go home and I keep refusing.
"But Santana, I'm afraid that this is against hospital policy. The only reason I obtained the permission to let you stay for the previous two nights was because your babies were in danger and that there was a risk of an emergency c-section. This is no longer the case."
"I'm not abandoning my wife, Dr Montgomery!" I reply in an assertive tone.
"Fine…" She sighs. "I will let you stay one more night. But that's it! If tomorrow evening you refuse to leave, security will remove you. Understood?"
EVEN LATER – AT THE HOSPITAL
For the third night in a row, I'm sitting alone by Britt's bed and I am completely desperate. I can't stop sobbing as I hold her hand and rest my forehead on it.
Since Britt was brought into the hospital, the twins have had the time to get better but her own condition has not changed at all… And hearing that as from tomorrow, I will have to go home without her makes me realize that this situation might be more permanent than I originally allowed myself to think.
Heartbreaking and unbearable thoughts start to cross my mind: what if she never wakes up…? Then I wouldn't hear the sweet sound of her voice anymore, or see her magic smile… I wouldn't get those heavenly kisses or make love to her anymore… She would even miss the birth of our twins…
Our children would grow up without their mom… And I would go through life without my wife.
I tilt my head and close my eyes in despair when barely audible whining pulls me out of my thoughts.
I look at Britt and see that her eyes are open.
"Oh my God… Brittany…" I sigh in relief.
I want to say a thousand things to her but I quickly notice that she's struggling to emerge from her unconsciousness so I decide to take it easy on her.
"Hi…" I whisper.
She slowly turns to me, the movement making her face frowning in pain. She swallows hard before whispering a raspy "Hi…"
"How are you feeling?" I ask in a soft voice.
"I… My… head… hurts…" She replies in a slow pace, as if she was exhausted.
"That's because you have a concussion, but you're OK…" I add, trying to reassure her while I press the button to call a nurse over.
"Am I… in the hospital…?" She asks, looking around the room and still struggling to speak. "What… happened?"
"You don't remember?" I ask.
"No…" She says, breathing out loudly.
"You… you had a car accident and you hit your head… You were unconscious for two days…"
"Unconscious…?" She repeats, as if she was trying to wrap her head around it.
I just nod in confirmation, trying to give her time to process the situation. We silently look into each other's eyes for a moment.
"I'm sorry but…" She mumbles. "Who are you…? I didn't catch your name…" She suddenly says and I'm so stunned that I feel like my whole world is crumbling beneath my feet.
A/N: Thoughts? As you can understand from the end of the chapter, Brittany has amnesia and does not even recognize Santana. I'm not going to reveal why this storyline is going into that direction, but I promise that it will be interesting so please stick with me. I'm not a doctor so I actually had to do research to write the medical bits, still hard to be sure that it's fully correct but I tried to make it as realistic as possible based on what I could find out.
I know that some of you wanted the twins to be a boy and a girl but I thought long and hard about it… And leaving one boy with 4 ladies at home seemed a bit much to me lol, so I tried to balance it out. Anyway... who knows what will happen in the future as I make up the story as I go. Reviews? Thanks in advance!
