CHAPTER 29

A/N: Thanks to Berrylucky5, Olivia, Lana66, kelenhermitha and the Guest for their reviews, and also to those commenting on social networks. Brace yourselves for this chapter...


A FEW MINUTES LATER - AT THE HOSPITAL

I couldn't even answer Brittany, I was completely frozen in my spot but fortunately the nurse arrived right at that time, asking me to step out of the room.

I have been waiting in the hall but when I see the nurse walking out - probably to warn the on-call Doctor that Britt has woken up - I stop her to tell her what happened a few minutes ago.

God knows that in the past two days, I imagined all possible scenarios, some of them being extremely dark: Brittany never waking up, or the twins dying in premature childbirth… But I never considered a situation where my own wife would not remember me…


LATER – AT THE HOSPITAL

"It appears that your wife does indeed have amnesia…" Dr Walsh tells me. "We had to sedate her because she got very much agitated once she realized that she didn't know her own name. She didn't remember that she was pregnant either… I'm afraid that she has forgotten her whole personal history… As you can imagine, this situation is very overwhelming for her."

"But… how long is it going to last?" I ask." It's not permanent, is it…?"

"It's hard to say… It's actually pretty rare to have total amnesia like she does but it can happen after a head injury. It could be temporary and last a few days or weeks… with her memories coming back either little by little or all at once. But… it can also be permanent, and in that case, patients need to relearn everything about who they are, their family, etc…"

God… I don't know how much longer I can take this… The past few days have been nothing but pain, when is it going to stop?

"A nurse will come get you once she's awake…" He adds. "You should talk to Brittany about you, and herself, and your life together… The more you trigger her memory, the better chance she has of remembering… But when you talk to her, you should keep in mind that right now, she doesn't see you as her wife. You are a complete stranger to her… So be careful not to invade her personal space or make her uncomfortable because this can quickly be upsetting for such patients…"

Every one of those words has felt like a stabbing in my heart. I don't even know what stage of despair I have reached now.

"OK…" I manage to whisper. "What… what did you tell her before sedating her? What does she know?" I ask.

"Not much… We started by telling her what day it was and where she was. And after asking her a few questions, it appeared that she didn't know anything about herself. So we told her what her name was and… announced her that she was pregnant with twins. Then she had a panic attack… and since she's still recovering from a concussion and is pregnant, I didn't want to take risks… That's why I decided to sedate her."


LATER – AT THE HOSPITAL

The nurse just told me that Brittany is awake and that I can go talk to her. Standing outside her room, I suddenly feel completely paralyzed… I'm not ready for something like this, how can I ever be ready for something like this?

I take a minute to breathe in and out a few times and finally go in. As I enter her room and sit by her bed, she lays her eyes on me. I don't even know how to start this conversation but I can't stay silent forever.

"Hi…" I finally whisper, feeling nervous.

"Hi…" She replies, obviously confused. "The nurse told me that… someone would come in and… tell me about who I am and my life story… even though that sounds insane… Are you that person?" She asks.

"Yeah…" I whisper, nodding in confirmation.

"So… who are you exactly…?" She asks, staring at me. I notice that her eyes don't have the same sparkle, there is no… love in them. Dr Walsh was right: I'm nothing but a stranger to her right now.

"I'm… Santana." I reply. "Santana Lopez-Pierce."

She opens her eyes wider as she hears my last name.

"Oh… So we are… related?" She asks.

"Yeah…" I reply. "We're… married…"

Her jaw drops in surprise and I see her eyes scanning my face more intensively.

"You're… you're my wife?" She asks as if she couldn't believe it.

"Yes… I have been for the past six years."

She takes a moment to process what I have just told her before saying "I'm sorry…"

"For what…?" I ask.

"It must be pretty devastating to hear that your wife doesn't remember you… I… I'm sorry."

"That's not your fault…" I reply. "And… the doctor said that it might be temporary, so… I will do everything I can to help you remember." I add, trying my best to sound both determined and reassuring.

She has to remember. She just has to…

"But if I'm… married to you… the twins… I huh…" She struggles to formulate.

"We went to a fertility clinic…" I say. "And it took a while but… you got pregnant five months and a half ago, with twin boys…" I add before pausing for a moment. "And… we also have a three-year-old daughter."

Her jaw drops again in disbelief, and my heart breaks. How am I going to tell our little girl that her mommy doesn't remember her?

"I… a daughter…? So… I'm already a mom…?" She asks in confusion and I nod, before taking my phone.

"Sofia…" I say, showing her a picture of our little monster. "And… you're the best mom ever…" I shrug with a sad smile.

"She's really cute…" She comments. "She looks a lot like you…"

"Well, I'm the one who carried her… but she has picked up a lot of things from you. It's getting more and more obvious over the years…"

"Where is she now, if we are both here…?" She asks.

"She's at home, with your parents… They arrived yesterday from Lima to come see you, and they are staying at our house."

"Lima…?" She repeats.

"Ohio… that's where you're from. Both of us…"

"OK..." She says, trying to make sense of everything I tell her. "Can you… can you tell me more about you and me? Maybe that will help me remember. Where did we meet?" She asks.

"In high school… We were both cheerleaders, that's how we met the first time…"

"So… we were high school sweethearts?" She asks.

"Yes…" I confirm. "We have been together for 11 years…"

"Wow, OK… So… I married my high school girlfriend, I have a daughter and twin boys on the way…" She recaps and I nod in confirmation.

"Well… it sounds like I did pretty good for myself…" She comments, with a shy smile that I return but deep down, I'm completely devastated. She has forgotten all about me and our kids.


LATER – AT HOME

It's 4:00 AM when I get home… I was originally supposed to spend the whole night at the hospital with Brittany but given the circumstances, it didn't feel right… I can only imagine how creepy it would be for her to have a woman she knows nothing about sleeping by her hospital bed…

I sneak into Sofia's room and see that she's peacefully asleep… I don't know how to prepare her for this whole mess. I just hope that once Britt meets her, it will help her remember… I give my baby girl a kiss and watch her sleep for a while.

After taking a shower, I go to my bedroom, for the first time since the accident. As I get into bed and see Britt's side empty, I can't hold back my tears and end up crying on my pillow.


ON THE NEXT MORNING – AT THE HOSPITAL

"So… I have brought you our wedding photo album…" I say, handing it to Brittany. "There are pictures of our entire family and our closest friends… Hopefully something or someone will look familiar..."

She opens it in front of me and the first picture is one of us kissing each other in our wedding dresses… I immediately notice the distressed look on her face and I can only imagine how disturbing it must be to see yourself at a wedding you don't remember having, kissing a bride you don't remember marrying…

"I know this is hard…" I tell her. "It is hard for me too… But that's how it is, Britt… You have to do this work for your memory to come back and I have to keep triggering it…"

She sadly nods in understanding before sighing.

"Since you're still recovering from a concussion, Dr Collins said not to overdo it…" I say. "So for today, I thought that you could just meet your parents and a couple of our friends… And if you feel ready for it, I can also bring Sofia over…"

"OK…" She sighs. "I'm… really nervous about seeing Sofia, I'm afraid to act differently than what she's used to and scare her… but at the same time, I am really curious to meet her…" She says.

"Well, we can give it a try and see how it goes?" I suggest. "I'll be there with you so… if you struggle, I'll interfere. But I think it would be good if you meet her at least for a few minutes because she has not seen you in days…"


LATER THAT DAY – AT THE HOSPITAL

Brittany talked to her parents, Quinn and Mike but it has not changed anything… We are now going over the most important things she should know before talking to our daughter.

"So you don't call her 'Sofia', you usually call her 'peanut' or 'my little sugar'… And she calls you 'mommy'…" I say.

"OK…" She says, listening attentively. I can tell that she's very nervous.

"And just in case it comes up… You don't really call me 'Santana' either… You usually shorten it to 'San'. You basically only use my full name when you're mad at me… and our little girl knows that, so be careful…"

I decide not to tell Britt about the sweet nicknames she uses for me because given the circumstances, it wouldn't be appropriate to make her call me 'honey' or 'babe'...

"Sofia loves animals…" I add. "…especially ducks and pandas, and she draws a lot. She has actually something like 5 different drawings with her today, so I'm sure she will show them to you! She goes to daycare… what else? Her teacher is Ms Carter... and her best friend from daycare is Charlotte."

"OK… Got it, I think…" She comments.

"She's in the waiting room with your mother… Can I go get her?"

"Yes… Don't I look too scary?" She asks, referring to her injured face.

"It's fine… Your wound is healing." I say, looking at it. "And I have warned her about that so she knows…"


A LITTLE WHILE LATER – AT THE HOSPITAL

I smile in relief, watching Sofia and Brittany interacting. It is been going well so far, they have been talking without anything weird popping up and they keep smiling at each other. I can see that Britt is not very comfortable but I don't think that Sofia has noticed because her mom manages to act relatively normal.

"When are you coming home, mommy?" Sofia suddenly asks, catching us both off guard. With all the recent events, I haven't got a chance to think about what would happen once she's discharged from the hospital. Will she feel OK to live in a house with a wife and a daughter she barely knows? Will she be comfortable to sleep in our room?

"I… huh…" Britt mumbles, her eyes pleading me to help her out.

"Mommy still needs some time to recover, mija…" I say. "It's the doctor that will decide when she can leave the hospital…"


THREE DAYS LATER – AT THE HOSPITAL

Brittany has now talked to all of our friends. Even Rachel, Kurt and Blaine flew all the way from New York to visit her.

Even though she still has total amnesia, Doctor Collins and Doctor Montgomery have just discharged her. She has to take it easy for a while and we have to go see Dr Montgomery in a couple of days to check on the twins but… she can go home.

Now that it's just the two of us in her room, I can sense that she's really anxious about what's coming next so I decide to make it easier on her.

"Brittany… Look… I don't know if you want to come home with us… I would understand if you don't. But I think you should because… first of all, you need to take it easy, so you will need help and… being around us in our house, it might help you remember…"

"And…" I pause to sigh. "… normally you and I… we… we share a bed but if you don't feel comfortable, you can just sleep in one of the guest rooms and you will have your privacy…" I add.


LATER THAT DAY – AT HOME – MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

I have been tossing and turning in bed for a long time now, I can't sleep… Even though I understand why Britt preferred to sleep in the guest room, it makes me sad to know that my wife is in the house but not in our bed. Even when we were fighting over James or the number of children to have, we always ended up sleeping next to each other…

Fed up with my insomnia, I decide to get up and go watch TV. But as I enter the living room, I see that Brittany is already doing the same thing.

"Hey…" I say.

"Hi…" She replies. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"No, no, you didn't… I didn't even know that you were in the living room… Can't sleep either?" I ask.

"No…" She sighs. "It's just weird… I know this is my house too but… it doesn't feel like home. I feel like I'm a guest…"

"I know it's strange… You just have to give it time, it will get better…" I say, trying to sound convincing.

"Is it OK if I sit with you for a while?" I ask and she nods in approval. "What were you watching?"

"Back to the future…" she replies and I can't help but laugh.

"What?" She asks.

"Nothing… It's just that you watch this movie so often, you're kind of obsessed with it… It's funny that among all the movies we have, you picked that one." I reply.

"Oh really…? Well, it's not like I can remember any of those movies so… That one just looked fun…"

"It is fun…" I agree.

"Do you want to watch the rest of the movie with me?" She asks.

"Sure!" I reply, smiling at her.

We watch the movie together and I smile every time she laughs. I have missed that sound so much…

Half way through the movie, I suddenly feel her head on my shoulder and realize that she has fallen asleep. I don't think that she intended to fall asleep on me but this is probably the closest I can be to her right now so I'm definitely not going to move. I carefully put the blanket all over us and continue watching the movie by myself.


A WHILE LATER – AT HOME

When I wake up, I'm still on the sofa, with the TV on. Brittany is still asleep, this time with her head on my chest and her arm draped over my waist. I guess old habits die hard, even with amnesia… I'm enjoying this so much that I decide to simply try to fall back asleep. But I feel her shifting right at that moment and when her eyes open, she panics and moves away from me.

"I huh… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" She nervously says.

"It's alright, Britt… you sleep on me pretty much every night so…" I reply with a smile, with the hope to put her at ease.

But that doesn't work, it even triggers the opposite reaction.

"I… I probably should go back to bed. And you should too, it's late…" She says, standing up.

"Ok…" I say. Deep down, I really want her to come back to bed with me but I know that she will go to the guest room. She's not ready for anything else.

"Night…" She says, walking away.

"Night…" I reply, feeling sad.


ON THE NEXT DAY – AT HOME

We are all sitting at the kitchen table, about to eat the breakfast that Britt's mom prepared. I try to make eye contact with my wife but she always looks away in embarrassment as soon as our eyes meet.

"So Brittany…" Whitney says. "I thought that you could come with us when we drive Sofia to daycare? And then if you want, we can go to the duck pond, you love that place!"

"Yes, sure… That's fine, Whitn… hum… mom…" She replies.

"Ok then!" Whitney says in an enthusiastic voice. "You're coming too, Santana?"

"I would love to, Whitney, but unfortunately, I can't… I really have to go to work this morning. Quinn handled many things in my absence but I haven't been there in almost a week and there are urgent things I need to take care of."

"So you won't be here today?" Brittany asks me and I can hear the panic in her voice.

"I… huh… It's just for the morning, I'll be free around 1:00 PM… So I can join you afterwards." I reply with a smile but she still looks uneasy.


A LITTLE WHILE LATER – AT HOME

"You'll be alright, Britt?" I ask her as I'm about to go to work. "You seem a bit anxious…"

"It's just awkward with… my parents. They are nice and everything but I have nothing to tell them…"

"Don't worry, they will probably do the talking themselves, they will just show you around. And I'm sure you will love the duck pond... it's peaceful and it's good for you to take some fresh air! I promise I'll try to get out of work as soon as I can…"

Out of reflex, I move closer to hug her without realizing it. But she steps back before I can take her in my arms.

"I huh… I'll see you later…" I say, trying to ignore what just happened and forcing myself to smile. God… this situation is so fucking hard...


A FEW DAYS LATER – AT HOME – LUNCH TIME

The Pierces went back to Lima a few days ago and with Quinn's help, I have re-arranged the Glee shooting schedule so that I only spend my afternoons at Paramount. I mainly supervise Brittana scenes while Quinn and Artie take care of everythinge else. That frees up my mornings, allowing me to take care of my kid and spend some time with my wife. In the afternoon, Britt usually naps or goes for a walk so she doesn't need me at home anyway.

As I am about to leave for work, I go into the kitchen to warn Britt.

"Oh my God, Brittany… stop!" I shout as I see her about to take a bite from her lunch.

"What now?" She asks, looking at me in confusion. "This time, I checked your list before I made my lunch, pregnant women are allowed to eat this!" She argues.

"But you're allergic to avocado!" I say, immediately taking the plate away from her. "Did you eat any of them?" I ask, worried.

"Oh… No, not yet… I was just about to start..." She replies. "I'm allergic to avocado?"

"Yes!" I say, raising my arms. "Where did you even find avocados? Since you can't eat them, we never buy any!"

"I… I went to the supermarket yesterday afternoon and I bought some… I'm sorry, I didn't know…"

It's a neverending nightmare, I know she can't help it but I constantly have to watch what she eats.


ANOTHER COUPLE OF DAYS LATER – AT THE DANCE SCHOOL

I arrive at the dance school, to pick up Britt who spent the whole afternoon over there, with Mike. I'm nervous… Everything we have tried so far to trigger her memories has failed. She even binge-watches Glee episodes every day but that doesn't seem to work either. The dance school is one of my last hopes...

When I enter the rehearsal room, I find Brittany and Mike chatting alone. The students have already gone.

"Hi guys!" I say, smiling at them."So Britt, what did you think of Boy Chang? Isn't he a great teacher?"

"Yeah, he was really good! And his classes seem very popular!…" She comments. "Santana told me that you are also a great performer?" She asks Mike.

"Oh better than great!" I say. "He's one of the best!"

"Really?" She asks.

"Yes! Come on, Asian butt... Let's show her what you can do on Valerie!" I say. "You two actually danced together on this at one of our Glee competitions, Britt…" I add while Mike selects the song on his phone.

"And the amazing singing voice you will hear is your very own wife!" Mike tells Britt before holding out his hand to me.

Brittany watches us dance in awe, even though we do the "soft" version of the choreography because I can't pull those crazy moves that she usually does with Mike.

As soon as the song ends, my blonde stands up. "Wow! You were both amazing!" She says, applauding our performance.

"You want to try with us?" I ask her.

"Oh… no, no…" She says, gesturing her hands.

"Come on, we'll just do the easy moves! You can't do the rest while being pregnant anyway." I say, grabbing her hand.

"No, San… thanks but I can't…"

"It's not hard, you will see… You love this dance, I'm sure you'll have fun!" I reply, trying to encourage her.

"I don't want to!" She suddenly says in an angry tone, yanking her hand out of mine before walking away.

When I turn to Mike, he seems just as surprised as I am. "I'm sorry, Chang… I… I'll go check on her." I say.


A FEW MINUTES LATER – AT THE DANCE SCHOOL

I find Brittany on the school terrace, clearly upset.

"Britt…" I say in a soft tone but she cuts me off.

"You have to stop, Santana..."

"Stop what…?" I ask.

"You and the others… you all expect me to behave exactly like I did before the accident! And even though it was interesting to see Mike teaching or you two dancing together, there is nothing more to it for me. I don't want to dance, I have no interest for it!" She says, leaving me in shock.

"But… dancing is such a big part of who you are!" I argue.

"No, that's the thing! It is a big part of who I was but… it's not who I am now! I don't care about dancing!" She shrugs. "I'm sorry but… you have to accept that I may never be the same person as I was... And my memories might never come back..." She adds, staring into my eyes.

I feel so many emotions coming up to my throat that I'm unable to react.

"Can we please go home now?" She asks, impatient.


ON THE NEXT EVENING – AT QUINN AND PUCK'S HOUSE

"Yeah, I don't know why you find that story funny, Q." I say. "We actually lost nationals because of that Finchel kiss!"

"Well, that's not the funny part!" Quinn replies. "What was hilarious is how you lost it afterwards when we were back at the hotel! I mean… if we were not there to restrain you, I think you would have beaten the shit out of Rachel!" She laughs.

"And for the record, that would have been completely deserved!" I comment. "Seriously, they could have waited for us to get off the stage before licking each other's tonsils! No wonder that we lost, no one wanted to see something that disgusting!" I add, making Quinn and Puck burst into laughter while Brittany remains silent, lost in her thoughts.

"You're OK, Britt?" I whisper as she's playing with her fork.

"Huh, yeah… Can I talk to you in private?" She asks with pleading eyes.

"Guys, can you excuse us for a minute?" I tell Quinn and Puck before following Britt into the hall.

"Is something wrong?" I whisper.

"Could we… could we go home? I don't want to stay here…"

"Go home? But Britt, we just got here… Quinn is going to play our old videos from the show choir competitions… That's why they invited us."

"That's exactly why I don't want to stay…" She replies. "Do you know how it makes me feel when you guys reminisce about the 'good old days' and I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about? I feel like a fucking outcast!"

I'm taken aback for a moment because she normally never swears, but it's not the first time she does something unusual since she became amnesiac.

"I'm sorry…" I say. "But if we go through these old videos, it's not to exclude you, Britt… It's the opposite! It might trigger your memory and… even if it doesn't, it will help you get much closer to everyone, believe me."

"I don't care! I'm tired... all I want to do is sleep!" She adds in a frustrated tone.

"OK… OK…" I sigh, surprised by her strong reaction. "Let's go home then… I guess our friends will understand that a pregnant woman is tired…"


A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER - AT HOME – MORNING TIME

I am brushing my hair when I suddenly hear Brittany raising her voice. Worried, I get out of the bathroom and realize that it's coming from Sofia's bedroom.

As I enter the room, I find Brittany yelling at a crying Sofia, leaving me completely baffled. I have never seen my wife yelling at our daughter before…

"What's going on here?" I finally ask.

"Mommy is mean!" Sofia replies in between sobs before hiding behind me, obviously scared of Britt.

"I'm not mean, you just can't behave!" Brittany argues. "She refuses to let me dress her for daycare!" She yells again in anger, shaking a pair of orange pants in her hand.

I look at Brittany in disbelief. What happened to my sweet loving wife…?

I don't comment and instead I kneel down to Sofia's level. "It's OK mija… Don't cry, baby…" I say, hugging her and rubbing her back while Brittany rolls her eyes at me.

"I will dress you myself, OK?" I tell my little girl. "But I need to speak to mommy first, so why don't you go watch a cartoon for a while? I'll come get you when it's time to dress." I add, giving her a kiss as she wipes her tears away.

Sofia nods and runs out of the room. Once I'm sure that she's far enough, I get back up and turn to Brittany but she speaks before I can say anything.

"So she makes a scene and you reward her with a cartoon?" She says, outraged. "No wonder that she behaves like a spoiled little brat!"

Did she say "brat"?!

"Ok that's enough now, Brittany!" I say, staring into her eyes. "Sofia is a sweet kid and she's definitely not spoiled! You just happened to pick the only pair of pants she hates! Abuela bought those and Sofia has always refused to wear them. And I'm not going to ground her for that, because just like for baby names, Abuela has awful taste in clothes! You used to hate those ugly pants too by the way! I don't even know why we still have them in our house but I'm so going to throw them away!" I add.

"I… I didn't know…" She suddenly says in a calmer tone.

"Yeah OK, you didn't know about the pants!" I say, raising my arms. "But that's no excuse for yelling at her! You never yell at her, not even when she does something wrong!" I add. "Your parenting style is to talk to her and calmly explain her why what she did is wrong. And that's what works best on her by the way… because she worships you so much that she doesn't want to disappoint you! So can you imagine how disturbing it must be for our little girl to see that her sweet, smiling mommy is suddenly yelling at her, over pants that you would normally not even try to put on her?! You scared her!" I say, shaking my head.

"Fine, I get it, Santana! I have messed up!" She says, irritated. "Maybe I can talk to her…"

"No." I reply in a determined way. "You upset her enough for one day. I will try to explain to her why her mom is acting like this. But you better find a way to control your yelling around our child, otherwise you can't stay in this house!" I add before walking out of the room without looking back at her. I know that having amnesia is really frustrating for her but I will not let my daughter pay the price of this situation.


A FEW DAYS LATER – AT HOME

Fortunately, Brittany took me seriously and has been a lot more careful around Sofia. But I'm getting really desperate when it comes to her amnesia. There is no progress at all and she gets so frustrated about it that it's affecting her mood in a bad way.

She was not there when I got home two hours ago and I have no idea where she is. I have tried to call and text her but she has not replied.

I'm about to go out to look for her when I hear the front door open and see her walking into the living room.

"Hi…" I say. "Where have you been…?"

"I went for a walk in the park..." She replies but I immediately notice the disturbed look on her face. "And I ran into a friend over there… So we went for coffee."

"What friend?" I ask. If it was one of the Gleeks, she would have mentioned their name.

"James…" She says.

"What?!" I immediately react, furious.

"He came up to me and I had no idea who he was but he obviously knew me…" She says. "So I told him about the accident and my amnesia… and he invited me for coffee, to catch up." She adds.

"Brittany, I don't know what he told you but you can't trust that asshole." I warn her.

"Well that's the thing, San... I don't know how to process what he told me..." She says. "He said that things were not going well between you and me lately… because I had found out that... you were cheating on me, and that I was about to leave you…" She adds.

"What the fuck?!" I say, completely outraged. "That guy is a fucking psycho! He's a liar, Britt! You can't possibly believe that bullshit he made up?"

"I… I don't know…" She replies, obviously lost.

"Brittany, I never cheated on you! And you were not planning to leave me because it makes no sense! Before your accident, you and I were more in love than ever! James just says this shit because he's pure evil and he's using your amnesia to plant doubt in your mind and break us up! It's not the first time he tries to get between us! He even tried to kiss you once and you told him not to contact you again!"

She doesn't say anything and I can read the confusion in her eyes.

"He's not even your friend, he's nothing in your life!" I add. "Why would you believe that meaningless jerk over your wife? You're carrying my babies for fuck's sake, that must count for something!" I say, shaking my head in despair.

She looks away for a second before meeting my eyes again. "About that… he also said that you didn't want to have more kids after Sofia…" She whispers. "And that we got into a huge fight because of it, up to the point of… almost getting a divorce? He said that you only agreed to have another child because you were scared of losing me... But that you actually don't want to have the twins, and that the reason you cheated on me was... because you felt trapped in a family life you don't want..."

This is a fucking nightmare… and James is the antichrist. When is Kharma going to get this asshole?

"Brittany… look at me." I say. "The only truth in all that bullshit is that at some point, I didn't want to have more than one kid, but that was mostly because I felt overwhelmed. And yes, we did fight about it but we worked it out together… You convinced me and believe me, even if I would have been devastated to lose you, I would have never agreed to have another child if I didn't want one."

"I know you don't remember..." I add, staring into her eyes. "... but I was with you for every appointment, every ultrasound... I saw our babies' faces on screen, I heard their heartbeat… I felt them kicking! And when you were unconscious after your car crash, I am the one who fought for their lives! They're my sons too! You don't even know how much I want them..."

Our eyes lock for a moment but she looks conflicted. "I don't know who to believe…" She whispers, shaking her head.

"You should believe me!" I say, out of patience. "I'm the one you love!"

"I'm sorry but… I… I am not in love with you, Santana…" She suddenly says and my world completely stops.

"I'm aware that it's awful for you to hear because I can see in your eyes how much you love me… or at least, who I was..." She adds. "… but the reason why I don't know who to believe is because you are just as much of a stranger to me as James is! I know that we have been together for 11 years but I don't remember our history! To me, you're just someone I met when I woke up two weeks ago! Why should I automatically trust that you wouldn't cheat on me? Or that you really want those babies? I don't know you!" She shrugs. "And how could I love someone I don't know?"

"Even when you tell me about the important life moments we shared and how much we love each other… I cannot relate! It's as if I was watching a movie about someone else's life! I don't remember the feelings I had for you, or marrying you... Do you even know how awkward it is for me to think that you and I had sex when I don't have any memories of that? You have seen me at my most intimate and I don't even know how you look like naked!"

"And the worst is that... I don't recall the day Sofia was born, or her first steps... I don't remember anything about her! And I have really tried to be her mom but whenever I spend time with her, it's like I babysit someone else's kid... It doesn't feel like she's my daughter..." She adds, shaking her head. "The twins are actually the only ones I have a connection with and maybe it's because I can feel them kicking and moving inside me... I don't know..." She adds.

It's only when she stops talking that I realize that I have been silently crying all along. I feel like someone has ripped my heart out of my chest and smashed it into pieces… The pain is so great that I literally run to my bedroom, without saying a word.


ON THE NEXT MORNING – AT PARAMOUNT – SANTANA'S OFFICE

After crying all night long in bed, I got up very early - long before anyone was up - and I escaped to Paramount. I didn't want to take the risk to run into Brittany. I have honestly never been this heartbroken in my entire life…

As soon as Quinn arrived at work, I called her into my office and told her every awful thing that Brittany said to me last night. As usual, Quinn has immediately tried to comfort me but I cut her off.

"Q… It's sweet of you but I really don't have the strength to discuss how I'm feeling right now… And my sorrow will actually have to wait because there is something more pressing I need your help with. Since you have connections, could you recommend me a good divorce lawyer?"

"A divorce lawyer…?" She replies, shocked. "But San… you can't give up just yet, there is still a chance for Brittany to get her memories back! It's only been two weeks! And I know that you don't want to divorce her…"

"I don't want to but... it's escalating fast and I also have to think about the kids, Q… After everything Britt said, I can't rule out the possibility that she might ask for a divorce. And even if she doesn't, I really worry about what she will do once the twins are born. Maybe she will take them away from me…"

"Come on… She knows it's your kids too. Brittany would never do something like that!"

"But wake up, Quinn!" I say, raising my arms. "That's NOT the Brittany we used to know! She's not your caring friend or my wonderful wife… She's just a shell! The woman I love is... gone! Now she... she has no patience, she yells at Sofia, she doesn't want to dance or see her friends… All she does is sleep and watch TV! And I just told you what she said last night: she doesn't love me, she doesn't even consider Sofia like her daughter and she thinks I don't want the twins! So why would she raise her babies with me?"

It must be sinking in this time because Quinn suddenly looks really uneasy.

"Legally speaking, the twins are not mine, Q… They're just hers… That's why I need to speak to a lawyer and find out if I can claim rights over them, because there is no way I'm losing my boys!"

"But… I don't understand. You said in the past that Brittany was Sofia's legal guardian just as much as you… Why isn't it the same for you and the twins?"

"Because when Sofia was born, we put Brittany's name on her birth certificate alongside mine. And we also completed the adoption procedure so... Britt is officially Sofia's mother, just like I am…" I say.

"But it's not the same here…" I sigh. "The twins are not born yet and given the circumstances, I can't be sure that Brittany will agree to put my name on their birth certificates or let me adopt them… She really could take them away! So please, help me find a kick-ass lawyer..." I say, desperate.


A/N: I don't know if you expected this kind of chapter, I know it's not pleasant... But I thought that if Brittany doesn't remember anything or anyone, it's likely to affect her personality and how she feels about her family... And I kind of like how that pushes Santana to step up for her kids. Anyway, I'm truly dying to know what you think of this chapter! Thanks!