1143 EST

Sunday, February 16

Christ Church

"That was one of the longest sermons I've ever had to sit through."  I agree.  My butt is numb from sitting for so long on those hard pews.  AJ didn't seem to mind at all.  He had a coloring kit with him and he was sitting quietly on the floor (that's twice in one day he's been quiet!) using his seat as a table.

"I'm hungry," he pipes up.

"Me, too.  Where are you taking us to lunch, Harm?"

"Yeah, Unca Harm, where are you taking us to lunch?" asks AJ imploringly.

"Oh, I don't know, where do you want to go?"

"Can we go to McDonald's?"

"Yuck!"  Well, I prefer Beltway, but I'm guessing AJ wants to play on the playground.

At the look on Harm's face, AJ adds, "They have salads there, Unca Harm!"

"Yeah, and they have burgers almost anywhere.  Why McDonald's?"

AJ rolls his eyes and answers in a 'duh' voice, "Everywhere doesn't have playgrounds, Unca Harm!"

"Oh...the playground."  "Hmm...well, if it's alright with Mac...?"  "Please say no, please say no, please say no..."

"Yeah, that's fine with me."

"Damn!  I said say no."  I don't think Harm is aware that there's a health food restaurant right across the street from the McDonald's with the playground.  I'll just let him figure it out for himself.

Since I know where the place is, I am elected to drive the Lexus.  Eight minutes later, the three of us are passing into the land of the Golden Arches.  AJ tries to run straight for the playground, but I deftly restrain him with an arm on his shoulder and say, "Whoa, hold your horses, Buddy, what do you want?"

He says impatiently, "Cheeseburger happy meal with just cheese and ketchup.  And a Hot Wheels, not a Barbie."

"A Hot Wheels and not a Barbie?  What the heck is that supposed to mean?"

"Don't worry, Harm, I'll explain it to you later," I respond.

"I didn't say anything."

Whoops.  "I was just interpreting the look on your face," I quickly answer.

"Oh, okay.  So, you gonna order, then, while I take the kid to go play?"

"Yeah, go ahead," I reply.  Then, as an afterthought, "Have fun!"

Harm gives a backwards look over his shoulder at me before being dragged by the arm into the indoor playground area.

I bring our food to the table Harm is sitting at and then plop myself down into the chair next to him.  He looks at the tray and then at me and says,

"Umm...where's mine?"

I answer matter-of-factly, "Across the street.  Unless you want some of my Big Mac."

He purses his lips in an attempt to hide an evil grin.  "There are so many places I could go with that...none of which are appropriate."  I can't help but smile myself.

He seems to have gotten over the last part of my statement and returns to the first.  "What do you mean it's 'across the street?'"

I point out the window to where the little restaurant stands out clearly in between the Office Depot and the Pets 'R' Us.

"Aahh...okay, I'll be back in a few minutes.  You'll be alright here by yourself, won't you?"

"I'm not by myself.  I've got Chatter Box to keep me company."

He just nods his head and winks at me, then turns to the maze of plastic tubing, plexiglas, and synthetic fabric nets.  "Hey, AJ...food's here.  Come on down so you can eat and then you can go back up there and play."

"Unca Harm, I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm stuck."

Pause.

"Unca Harm, did you hear me?  I said, I'm stuck!"

"Wha—AJ, I—how—where are you stuck?"  Ah, Harm: the epitome of eloquence.

"I can't get my foot out of the net.  Can you help me?"

Harm looks over at me, slight panic written on his usually calm face.  I shrug and raise my eyebrows at him.

"Uh...are you sure you can't get your foot unstuck by yourself?" he tries again.

"I've been trying for a hour, Unca Harm!"  Let the record reflect that he's only been in there for a little over six minutes.  "Am I gonna be stuck here forever?  I don't want to be stuck here anymore!  I'm hungry, I just want to come down and eat my happy meal!  Please, Unca Harm, help me!"  He's definitely panicking, and unless I'm very much mistaken, I can hear his voice tinged with tears.

"Alright, umm...I'm coming up to help get you unstuck, alright?  Don't worry, buddy, I won't let you stay stuck up there forever."

"Harm, I'll go up there and get him.  You're too big for those tunnels you'll get yourself stuck up there with him, and then I'll have to rescue both of you."

"No, it's alright, I can do it."  He takes a deep breath and lets it out as though to steel himself.  "Well, no turning back now."

I watch as he climbs awkwardly through the round opening and can't help but admire the view before it disappears through the vinyl flaps over the tunnel.  I follow his progress up to where our godson can still be heard whimpering and sniffling.  I stand up and move to where I can see Harm climb onto the net towards where AJ is sitting uncomfortably with his snared leg akimbo.  Harm speaks placatingly while he tries to disentangle the leg from the net.  He succeeds, and AJ immediately throws his arms around Harm's neck and his legs around his abdomen, hooked securely by the ankles behind Harm's back.  Harm is momentarily thrown off balance, and when he teeters, AJ screams out,

"Unca Harm, don't let me go!"

Harm regains enough stability to put both hands firmly on AJ's back.  He looks down at me pleadingly.  I know I shouldn't be finding this nearly as amusing as I am, but it's so hard to not laugh at the situation.  Harm creeps slowly on his knees and finally makes it across the net to the tunnel and asks AJ if he's okay to go the rest of the way on his own, on account of they'll both get stuck if they try to go in there together. 

Apparently, AJ isn't going to let go until they're in the tunnel, and he screams when Harm tries to take his hand off his back to brace himself.  I sigh to myself.  Never send the Navy to do the Marines' job.

I kick off my shoes and scramble into the mouth of the tunnel leading into the labyrinthine structure.  I'm so glad I opted out of the skirt today.  I hurry to where Harm is still struggling with AJ.

"Alright, boys, it's the woman to the rescue.  AJ, sweetie, will you come into the tunnel if I'm right here holding onto you?"

He sniffs pitifully and nods and gives a small, "Uh-huh."

I dangle my feet out of the tunnel and reach out the twelve inches to hold on firmly to AJ.  He grabs my left hand with his right, and the only problem with that is that his right arm is still around Harm's neck.  Harm tries to overcome the inconvenience by ducking his head under AJ's arm.

Big mistake. 

AJ, thinking that Harm is letting go of him early, screams and pulls his arm and hand back to where they were, nearly pulling my left hand with him.  Far from getting my whole hand, he succeeds in pulling my ring off. 

We all three watch as if in slow motion as the shining piece falls straight through the net, bounces off of a plastic tube, and lands with a soft *plop* into the ball pit.  Into the 9xll foot ball pit.  Into the ball pit with the cheap, colorful plastic orbs stacked three feet deep.  Into the ball pit, with dimensions measuring 9x11x3 feet.  That's 297 cubic feet of rainbow colored plastic...covering my engagement ring.

"Umm...I think I'm okay now, Aunt Mac."

My engagement ring.

"Can you just move so I can go into the tunnel?"

Into the ball pit.

"Or it's okay if Unca Harm wants to bring me to the slide."

"Her engagement ring."

"So, the slide is that way, Unca Harm."

"Into the ball pit."

"Just on the other side of the net, okay, Unca Harm?"

My...

"Or you could just put me down, I think I can just walk over there myself."

"Her..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

...

"..."

Both Harm and I finally realize that AJ is screaming—literally—to get our attentions.

"Come here, AJ," I say, reaching out my arms to him.  He noiselessly grabs me and I pull him into the tunnel.  He starts making his way down to the bottom of the playset and Harm and I both glance back down at where my engagement ring is buried.  Assuming there aren't any holes in the bottom of the pit which it could've slipped through.  I shudder to think.

"I'll go down there and look for it," Harm says suddenly.

I can't bring myself to argue with him.  I nod wordlessly and head down the same way I came up.  I sit back down at the table where AJ is already eating his meal.  He stops and looks at me, fresh tears in his eyes.

"Aunt Mac, I'm sorry I made you lose your ring.  Will your boyfriend hate me?"

I reach over absentmindedly and tousle his hair.  "No, honey, my boyfriend doesn't hate you.  It was an accident.  Besides, Harm is looking for the ring.  He'll find it."

"But Aunt Mac, I've never met your boyfriend.  How do you know he doesn't hate me?" he asks with sincere curiosity.

I falter for a fraction of a second and then answer honestly, "I just know."

"Oh, okay." 

Half an hour later, Harm comes awkwardly out of the ball pit wearing a triumphant smile, holding up a shining something in his hand.

I jump up ecstatically and rush over to him.  He puts the ring back where it belongs and, without thinking, I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him full on the mouth.  I hear a small gasp of surprise behind us and I whirl around, eyes wide, hands over my mouth.

AJ is sitting there, covering his eyes.  After three and a half seconds, he calls out, "Are you done kissing, yet?"

"Yes, you can uncover your eyes," I respond with a hint of a smile.  Everything seems ten times funnier now that I've got my ring back.

"Aunt Mac, and Unca Harm, why did you kiss?  I thought you were both gonna marry other people."

"It, uh..." I start.

"It was just a, umm..." Harm tries to take over.

"A thank-you kiss!" I recover.

"Yeah, but you kissed on the mouth."

"We missed."

"Oh."  He knits his brow in contemplation, then finally says, "Alright," and goes back to playing with his Hot Wheels car.

"I hope he keeps this quiet."  I couldn't agree more.