Author's Note: Okay, due to a change in site formatting, the thoughts will be contained in /backslashes/. And yes, I realize I haven't updated since God was a boy. Sorry. I'll try to get on the ball and wrap this thing up quickly. Thank you all for your extreme patience.
1236 est
McDonald's parking lot
"Uh-huh...okay...yeah, we can manage...no, we'll be fine...okay, you too...bye." I press the end button on my cell and then look over at Harm, who is watching me inquiringly.
I just shake my head at him and turn to talk to AJ in the back seat. "Hey, AJ, I have something to tell you."
"Are my mom and dad gonna be late?"
"Uh, yeah...really late. They're snowed in. They don't know when they'll be getting back, but it definitely won't be tonight."
"But...Mommy said she'd see me on Sunday. Today is Sunday. She said she'd see me."
"I know, sweetie, but they can't. They're stuck, they have no way of getting here tonight."
"But Mommy said! She promised that she would see me when she got back on Sunday!"
I can see the wild panic of not understanding the concept in his eyes, which are starting to mist up. "AJ...I know Mommy promised that she would see you when she got back on Sunday, but you're going to have to wait until they can get back. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?" I can tell this is a fruitless endeavor trying to explain that just because his mommy couldn't come when she said she would that it's not a broken promise.
/"Oh, man, I wish there was something we could do about this."/ "Hey, buddy...why don't we go to the natural history museum? That way when you see your mom and dad when they get back, you can tell them all the cool stuff you did. How does that sound?"
Typical guy logic. Let's go do something else to take your mind off of a huge disappointment. Puh-leeze! I mean, does that ever work?
"Ooh, okay, can we go see the bugs?" I stare at AJ in disbelief. Six seconds ago, he was crying about his mom breaking a promise, and now he's practically tingling with excitement about seeing a bug exhibit at the Smithsonian. I will never understand men.
Harm turns an inquiring look my way, and I respond, "Sounds like fun. Let's do it, Harm."
We drive out to the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. AJ talks animatedly to himself the whole way there. When we get there and I try to get him out of the car seat, I have trouble keeping him still long enough to get the buckle undone. I finally free him from his bonds and he jumps out of the car—right onto Harm's foot, grazing Harm's shin on the way down.
I see Harm wince and bite his bottom lip to keep from expressing any inappropriate exclamations that AJ would be sure to hear and repeat. He's not doing such a great job with controlling his thoughts, though. He had to have picked some of that up as a sailor.
"Whoops! Sorry, Unca Harm!"
"It's alright." /"I'm sure the swelling will go down in a few days."/ Well, at least he still has his sense of humor.
"Oh, that's good. Can we go now?" I grab AJ's hand as he leads the way, and then I grab Harm's hand with my other and drag him along while he limps.
Since the dinosaurs are on the entrance level, I get the first indulgence of the afternoon. The boys enjoyed it just as much as I did, though, even if Harm wouldn't admit it out loud.
"I don't understand what you find so fascinating about these things, Mac...they're all dead. If you want to see bones, go to the pet store and check out the doggy aisle, no need to come all the way out here." /"Ooh, a Tyrannosaurus !"/
Case in point. "Harm, am I hearing things, or did you just say 'doggy?' Because it sure sounded like 'doggy' to me."
AJ giggles and Harm gives him one of those cute squinty-eyed glares. You know the one I'm talking about.
"Touché," he says. I grin at him and he rolls his eyes and then looks down at AJ, who is pulling on his arm.
"Unca Harm, I have to go to the bathroom."
/"You're kidding...you never have to go to the bathroom."/ Ooh, he's even sarcastic when he's talking to himself in his head. "Alright, let's go. I'm sure Mac would enjoy the extra time with the dog treats."
"What, Harm? Did you say doggy treats?"
"No, Mac, I said dog treats."
"Oh, I got it this time...doghouse."
Harm cocks an eyebrow and swallows his response. /"That's a place I don't want to be."/ He nods and turns around, letting AJ lead him to the restroom.
Score two for me.
1342 EST
Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History
Second Floor
"We're going to see the bugs! We're going to see the bugs! We're going to see..."
I have never seen anyone get this excited about bugs before. The kid is skipping and dancing as we're making our way to the Insect Zoo. We slow down a bit passing through the reptile section, so that AJ can get a good look at the snakes and lizards.
"Okay, let's go see the bugs," he says after about five minutes spent watching a python sleep.
We get to the bugs, and AJ immediately runs over to a stand with times on it.
"Aunt Mac, what time is it?" he asks.
"1:51. Why? What are those times for?"
"They're for the bug show," he says matter-of-factly.
"Okaaaay...what's the bug show?" I ask.
He sighs and answers, "Where they show you bugs."
/"Duh!"/ "Geez, Mac, you should've known that," Harm says with a victorious smirk.
"I didn't hear you jumping in to give an answer, flyboy."
"You didn't ask me. I was always taught to keep my nose out of other peoples' business."
"And since when have you ever heeded that advice?" I ask him challengingly.
He purses his lips and says, "Just now, when I didn't jump in and answer."
I just shake my head and punch him lightly on the arm. Jerk.
Ten minutes later (a minute late, according to the sign), a young woman comes out wheeling a cart stacked with glass and plastic cages filled with creepy crawly things. Ick.
The woman calls the children and parents around and starts talking about the different specimens she has with her. AJ sits enthralled on the floor at her feet, staring longingly at the squirming and skittering objects on the cart. After a brief introduction of the insects, she says,
"Who wants to hold them?"
"Ooh, ooh, I do!" says AJ enthusiastically, waving his arm frantically so that she'd be sure not to miss him.
The woman laughs and says, "Okay, anyone who wants to hold them, just line up here and we'll see what we can do for you."
AJ is first in line, and he gestures to Harm and me to join him. Harm starts towards him and turns back to see why I'm not following.
"Come on, Mac. What's wrong?"
I give myself a mental shake and answer, "Nothing. I'm coming."
We join AJ beside the cart and the woman, whose name is Tori, asks, "Would you two like to hold an insect, too? We have Madagascar hissing cockroaches that you can handle."
"Sure, I'm game," says Harm. He looks at me and I just say,
"Um...no thanks, I'll just watch."
Harm grins wickedly. /"Oh, my God...my gung-ho, semper fi, kick-ass jarhead is squeamish about bugs. This is too good."/
Oh, no he doesn't. I won't have him win one over me. "Ah, why not?" I say to Tori in what I hope is a casual voice.
"Oh, good, you're gonna hold one? Let's see, then..." she reaches her hand inside one of the plastic cages and deftly snags a huge cockroach. It hisses in protest, and I begin to feel a little queasy.
"Here you go," Tori says cheerfully, holding out the offending creature. I make no move to relieve her of it.
"Sarah, sweetie, this is the part where you take the roach from the nice lady," Harm says gleefully, not even trying to mask his amusement.
I take a deep breath and reach out my hands for the bug, which is sitting docilely in Tori's outstretched hand.
She places it in my hand and I tense up, but gradually relax as it just sits there doing nothing but waving its antennae. All of a sudden, though, it gets the urge to run, and it has nowhere to go but up my arm. I squeal and shake my arm, and the cockroach falls to the floor, hissing, and starts to scamper away, but Tori (who has obviously dealt with this situation numerous times) quickly bends down and scoops it up, then drops it back into the hell from whence it came. I stare at the cage and hide the shudder that goes through me.
Harm, meanwhile, is laughing his fool head off, while simultaneously trying to keep his cockroach demon from escaping. I shoot him my most venemous Marine death stare, and he sobers up a bit, though he is still grinning from ear to ear. /"God, that's one for the books. Blackmail."/
Harm gives Tori back the cockroach and she puts it with the rest of the little monsters, then he turns to me and says, "You know, Mac...that little squeal...?" He leans into me until his lips brush my ear. Despite my indignance at what he's about to say, I can't help but enjoy the feel of his breath tickling my neck. "Very un-Marine-like." I run my hand along his side, then find a good spot and pinch him. Hard.
/"Ouch!"/ He grabs my hand and looks at me with an amused grin. "Mac, there's no need to resort to physical abuse just because you couldn't handle a little bug crawling up your arm."
"Harm, first of all, that thing was huge. Second...it's an insect, not a bug."
He rolls his eyes and responds, "I stand corrected."
"Unca Harm, Aunt Mac, can we go look at the snakes again?"
"Yes," I answer a little too quickly. Anything to get away from those hissing abominations.
Harm follows along, still grinning to himself. He'll never let me live that one down.
